No. People can have friends even exs.
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Iād be more concerned he lied about them meeting up. Then them actually meeting up. Communication is the most important part of a relationship. I would take some time apart, and see where his loyalties are. Sometimes if you take a step back, people will show you who they are.
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For me the issue would be that he lied about itā¦not that heās still friends with her.
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My ex is one of my best friends, we havenāt had sexual relations in over twenty years, but we talk at least once a month, and can honestly say I love that he is part of my life still
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My ex-husband and I were best friends after divorce. I sure didnāt want him back as a husband. I met his girlfriends. I would say ā donāt hide I want to meet herā. Become friends maybe. Keep your friends close and enemies closer. You know more that way!
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Girl do you even have to ask? He either gets right or gets left. If he canāt cut that off honey you donāt matter!!!
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These woman are fools and will be the ones one here crying that their husband ran off with another woman. Listen to your gut. If you arent comfortable, it needs to stop. Now.
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Exes are exes for a reason.
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And let me addā¦ The ex shouldnāt be ok with being a secret friend to him.
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Iād be upset he lied but I also think itās wrong to make ultimatums that someone cant talk to someone even in a relationship. If nothing innappriote or damaging to your relationship is going on then itās fine.
That said lying is damaging to the relationship
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No way! If they can catch feelings once they can do it again! Sorry to say but either their still seeing each other or one of them still has feelings.
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Now it depends. My husband has an ex, which has no kids with him, but they were childhood friends. I feel like thatās perfectly understandable to keep in touch with someone like that. However my husband will never meet up with her or see her unless Iām there, out of respect to me.
Iād ask if you could attend their get togethers. If he has a problem with it, i feel like at that point heās hiding something - might not be cheating but might not have gotten over her type of thing. But I feel like itās not impossible for exes to be friends and thereās nothing wrong with that as long as you can trust him. But if you think you canāt trust him then maybe going to a marriage counselor would be beneficial for both of yāall. They can be used as a mediator to help both of yāall understand the others feelings.
He could have lied to you because he didnāt want to stop being friends with her but thought your reason was ridiculous and he knows heās not doing anything wrong. Iāve been in that position before with my ex doing that, and that was his exact reason.
My ex and I are very good friends now we get along better now then we did when we were together so you can be friends with your ex and not have sex or anything else just good friends. He even cooks for me and calls for my to come and get it. He is a wonderful guy just wasnāt a good boyfriend but I am glad that we are good friends now after all we were together for 20 years.
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Meet up with your ex for lunch see how he feels 
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He kept it a secret is the problemā¦ Iād be upset.
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Didnāt we learn anything from this song?
The problem isnāt he stills sees her more like he kept it a secret and lied about it. You need to ask him why if it means nothing he would have told you upfront and or introduced yāall so there would be no issues. But ā¦ yeah Iād be pissed he felt he had to hide it.
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That donāt bother me only if you are having sex with them then I will hate you for life
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if its just a friendship go with them next timeā¦ and if he bluntly lied and said he quit and never did then yes you have every right to be upset that he lied to you
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Im still in contact with my ex he wasnt a asshole loved me but his asshole son got in the wayā¦we meet up every couple of months i go to the va hospital with him and my currant husband dont mindā¦
Ok. You COULD have been upset that he lied to you, but you gave him an unfair ultimatum, which put him in the position to make such a poor choice. That doesnāt mean he gets off the hook for lying, but you owe him as much of an apology as he owes you. And you both have things you need to work on if you expect this relationship to last.
Listen, you donāt own him. If he wants this woman in his life, you can request that he include you in that relationship until you are comfortable, and question his loyalty if he refuses. But you flat out have no right to tell your partner who they can and cannot be friends with. If neither of you thought to offer that you come along, I question why. If he did offer and you shot him down, and just told him to get rid of her, you were out of line. And honestly, I might have lied to you too, out of sheer spite. If you asked to come along and he said no, as I said before, you should have questioned his loyalty at that point and probably moved on. But here we areā¦
So, apologize for making him choose, and tell him you want an apology for his lies. Then invite yourself to the next lunch, or move tf on.
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They were together for 8 years. Thatās a huge chunk of time. Iām wondering why it bothers you so much that theyāre friends? If he wanted to be with her, he would be.
If itās upsetting you, then you need to find a way to get past it because you donāt get to tell him who he can and canāt hang out with, just as he canāt tell you the same.
You need to ask yourself why it upsets you, and then work through that without trying to control who his friends are.
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If it was a secret then there is something going on.
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How would he feel if you were doing the same thingš
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Itās the lying thatās the bad sign. If you canāt trust him to tell the truth about this, what can you trust him to tell the truth about?
I meanā¦ I wouldnāt be happy that he lied about itā¦but if they are friends, so what.
He should be allowed to have friends. He is a partner.
Any lie is bad. Doesnāt matter why or what it isā¦if you are a liar, you are a piece of trash. Honesty is THE single best thing you can ask for from anyone. Because whatever else they may beā¦at least they are stand up.
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Guess heās. Not for u . Let her have him. Heās. Not. A man
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The only reason I would be upset is he didnāt tell you about it and said he was going to cut off communication.
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Yes Iād be pissed because he lied and is basically going behind your back and they have no kids together so no need to stay in touch ! None the less keep it a secret! Period!.
It seems like there trying to get back together
There still feelings.
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Bad enough he kept it from you and theyāve been Going out for lunch too? How do you know it was just lunch when he wasnāt honest? Thereās more going on than just lunch and catching up! A lot can happen over lunch. A lot of sexual conversation can be going on via text. When youāre married, you honor your wife/husband and knock this stuff off. Itās really quite straightforward.
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