Do something about the situation now or it will only get worse…prayers
Don’t let him back, start getting your duck in a row and the next time he walks out don’t take him back. You are enabling this behavior. He won’t change. And obviously his mother is allowing it also.
Tell him next time he leaves it’s permanent. You allow him to come back so there are no consequences for his behavior. A real man wouldn’t walk out on his wife and 4 children.
Stop letting this sad sack back. It’s NOT good for the kids or you. He needs to get some therapy and deal with the reason why he can create kids and a relationship but can’t take care or nurture what he’s created. It’s not your job to wait around . If you do everything then why do you need him around? You can love him from afar. No kiss should watch this and think it’s ok. It’s not. Let him leave. Go to couples counseling and set some damn boundaries. If he wants out then let him out. You have to be there for the kids.
The next time he walks out - let him. Don’t let him weasel his way back in.
Girl. The best advice I can give you. Is let him walk out. You can’t make someone who don’t wanna be there. Be there. You deserve better. You are better. And you know better. Life is too short to be wasting time on a man who doesn’t give you what you need. Not all love stories end in a fairytale ending. Some love stories just end. And that’s ok. Don’t let you children see this pattern of behavior as normal. Let them see you respect yourself enough to put a stop to it. Normalize that. Kids will imitate what they see. No matter what you tell them. If you have son’s. Do you want them to grow up and do this to their partners. Or the girls allow this shit to happen to them. Remember, love is gonna hurt. But you take the brunt of it, so your kids don’t have too. Be the example they need you to be. You got this. It will be hard. But it will be worth it. You can do bad all by yourself. You don’t need help to do it. You already know what the truth and answer is. Or you wouldn’t be here trying to validate a feeling you know to be right. Good luck.
Ya,just say bye bye.
Let the ass go,He is running your life
Don’t let the excuse of keeping him for the kids sake ruin your life,if he loved you he would worship the ground you walk on you have 4 kids he will have to pay support on.get rid of him for your own sake.you are worthy.
I can imagine it’s hard but if its so easy for him to up and go he clearly thinks very little of his family. What would you tell your daughter if she was being treated like this? You need to get rid of him and show your children boys and girls this is not how you maintain a healthy relationship. Xx
Yea you got a dud sorry.trade em in
I had the same issues with my ex(Childrens dad) running off to his Mums all the time. They take advantage and they know they can come and go when they please and come back when they want… just leave him walk out show you don’t care even if you do… get on with things he will soon realise and be messaging when he knows he’s not needed giving his sob story but stand up for yourself girl! Dont waste your time waiting around for him to come back… not fair on you or the children! You deserve better someone who’s around full term and acts like a man:smiling_face: X
Next time he walks out, let him. Then change the locks and file for divorce.
I don’t know you, but I know you and your kids deserve better in life than always wondering if he’s coming back or leaving again. Kids need consistency
You’re teaching your kids it’s okay to stay in a toxic relationship. So quit letting him come back, when he walks out keep him out
Buh byeeeee if he isn’t benefiting you by staying let him leave
Sorry, I’m having a hard time even understanding what OP is trying to convey because of typos
Kick him out and you walk away. Bye bye
Why would you keep having children by this man? Time to let his ass go! Unless he provides, and if you love him I guess keep trying to make it work.
Don’t let him come back
Staying together “for the kids” is not a good enough reason. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve respect. You do not need someone who isn’t going to give 100% to the relationship. If he keeps walking out, let him stay gone. He’s making the conscious choice to walk, you’re not kicking him out. Children deserve parents who are there not in and out of their lives at the drop of a hat. He sounds like he needs to grow up and get it together. I’d sit him down and tell him either he’s in 100%, he’s committed to making it work, he’s never walking out on y’all again and he’s going to step up and be the husband and father you and the children need or he can take his butt back to his mommy’s house and its over. It sucks to have to lay down the law like that and it will hurt like hell if he chooses to leave but you have to stop allowing him to treat you and your kids this way.
Grow a spine and kick him out.
It doesn’t sound like that man knows how to love you or those kids. Seeing their mom happy is going to make a bigger difference than it would for him to be around. Especially if he can’t act right. And you don’t want your kids to mirror any of this later on in life. I would leave and he needs therapy.
When a friend asked me if I would be ok with my daughters being treated as I was by my kids’ dad and told me to think about my own mom and dad~
“Do you think they wanted this for their little girl?”
…after she said that, I was willing to lose everything to get away from my toxic af ex. It’s not easy, but it was for the best.
If it were me if he walked out again that would be his last time of walking out. Locks would be changed clothing on the porch.if he is walking out he is no help to anyone and s poor influence on those kids. If you are going to lay down expect him to walk on you
You and your kids deserve better. Kick him to the kerb.
Throw the whole ass guy away ! That’s not even a man
For “the kids” sake he needs to go girl
Sounds like you doing it on your own now so what’s holding you back from doing it
I went through that too. I finally realized my kids were suffering for it and made him leave for good. He’s been gone a year and a half, he’s 46 and living with his mother still. It was obvious he just wanted to control me and when that control was gone he fell apart. Now I’m in a much better place in my life and happy.
Stop him right now you need to tell him kick rocks what would be the loss if he wasn’t there he doesn’t help you anyway he gives you heartache and more things to worry about you are a busy mom you get his ass to court make him get a job and pay for four kids with child support once he works full-time he’s not gonna have time to worry about anything else he’s got too much time in his hands learn to love yourself and know you are worth more than that, through all this you have lost yourself you need to look in the mirror and say we are worth more than that. Most likely he has your self-esteem to where you think you couldn’t get anybody else telling you you have four kids good luck or something like that most likely this is not true I would tell him pack it up change your locks, don’t except his calls tell him to take me to court he is teaching your children they can’t trust men if you have sons they will be just like him your daughters will marry somebody just like him don’t beat the streets love yourself girl!!!
Its not going to get better.
Do not sleep with this man again for sure!!! He is probably not at his mothers. You better formulate a plan on how you will be a single mother
Next time he leave let it be his last
Your children will grown up thinking this is normal and acceptable. It’s disrespectful and abusive to you. Find someone that will be your partner. Get rid of the deadbeat.
After reading your post I think you know what you have to do
It will be tough for awhile but eventually without having to do for him too you will find it only gets easier
Sending love and healing
Birth control, most states you can’t get alimony until 10 yrs of marriage.
Start preparing for divorce.
Save money! Start school for a trade or degree. Open a savings account at a separate bank and have statements sent somewhere else.
Declutter, simplify your belongings, and organize; once he’s gone you will have zero help. It helps to live simple by getting rid of the unnecessary.
Know your worth Mama! Been in the same exact situation. Find your happiness and focus on your children. When he leaves DONT let him come back.
You know he leaves you and because you’ve accepted it this long. It will continue from here on out UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING BIG. Change the locks. Make him wait. Make him lay in the bed he had been making for himself all these years. Grow your own nest that has NOTHING to do with him. Make it all yours and protect it fiercely. Let him see that you DO NOT NEED HIS LAZY ASS. He won’t get it together. He won’t learn. That’s okay because YOU WILL. You’ll outlive that poor sap and have a much higher quality life too. Give yourself that better quality life. He will not ever bring it to you.
Sadly, he’s shown his true colors time and time again. He can’t committ and is not stable. There is no true love there anymore therefore the foundation is crumbling and cannot be repaired unless he seeks professional help to figure out what the underlying issues are and why he’s behaving so inconsistently and so irrationally. He is negatively affecting his relationship with his children and family unit as a whole. The amount of stress and pressure put upon you is way more immense than anyone deserves. You all deserve the happy and fulfilling life we all want and he is obviously unhappy and unable to have that despite your efforts and despite you giving him chance after chance to redeem himself and be the husband and father y’all are entitled to.
I’m so sad that the role model and loving DAD the kids needed has turned his back on them. I’m sure they are extremely hurt as are you.
Let him go be miserable by himself so y’all can start thriving on your own. Prayers coming in hot
Please leave him to be a child . You should want more for yourself . Take care of yourself ,stress is not good for you and the baby.
honey there’s your problem. You keep letting him come back. Kick him so far to the curb and then file for child support!!! Make him help financially. And he’s hurting your kids!!
1 get help go to a family member or close friends
2. Write everything down on note pad when he leaves he says anything horrible to you
3. Tell he to go and it’s over you can do better than that Hun xx may be a support worker
Think about you and your children they come first that’s all that matters xx good luck hope you get the help you are looking for x🤞
My husband works his butt off. We had 2 children . I was a stay at home mom. I kept my home clean and cooked every night. I feel that is what IT WAS MY RESPONSIBILITY. IF YOUR HUSBAND CHEATS ON YOU, MAYBE YOU SHOULD kick his butt out. Life is to short to be up set .oh what I had to say is during our marriage to raised our kids and 17 others on our own expense. My house was clean and dinner cooked every nights .I was glad I did it.
When he leaves lock the door and stop giving him the option to come back! You deserve better than what he’s offering and your teaching your children that it’s okay to treat someone this way. Sorry for the hard truths but don’t have time to sugar coat it! Stop being a doormat.
By letting him stay you are teaching your children that his behaviour is acceptable. For the children, he will need to acknowledge his issue and seek help or you should leave. You are not an option, you are worth so much more than a partner who hasn’t grown up yet.
Do not let him define your value… and you are a momma bear now, not just his wife. You are a teacher and role model for those kids… and so is he or the absence of him. They will remember who was there and who wasn’t. It’s not your fault so do not allow it. Once is too many times. Marriage is supposed to be a bond and once he broke that bond you no longer have an obligation to repair it. You need to do what’s best for you and your kids and if you allow this behavior to go on any further you are also doing damage to yourself and your children for staying. They are impressionable and this is impacting,molding the kinds of relationships they will have in the future with each other, friends, future boyfriends/ girlfriends/ spouses… Show them you deserve better and so do they. I wish your family the best of luck
You and your children are the first you take care of. Be strong stand up take hold of your future. Dump the lazy man. Hire a lawyer who will go after him and help yourself and children. Don’t let anyone walk on you.
You are not letting him back because of the kids you want him back.you have to not let him back because of the kids
See if you can get him into marriage counseling, maybe a minister…asap. A lot of people don’t really know how to care and love, they need to be taught and guided.
Sis yes, it is time to focus on you and your babies.
Take his keys and leave him with his mum for reeducation.
Say goodbye to your ex-husband
Next time he walks out, lock the door.
I had a hard time reading this
Let him go and stay gone.
Let him and keep going