My husband left and took the kids

My hsuband got mad at me for talking to my ex (nothign major he jsut texted me and asked how things were) he left and took our kids, they werent even dressed because i just got them out of the bath…he said he is not coming back and taking them to his moms house and he wants me out of the house NOW…what are my options? Those kids are my world and he just up and left with them and i have no where else to go…i really feel like i did nothing wrong and he was just looking for a way out…what do i do? what rights do i have?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband left and took the kids

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It’s your house you don’t have to leave.

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He has to evict you if you’ve been there 30 days and aren’t on the lease or mortgage. If you are, he can’t force you to leave. With no court order, both of you have the same rights to the kids. All you can do is go file for a legal custody arrangement. He isn’t doing anything illegal by taking his own children.

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He can’t kick you out but now you need to go file for primary custody before he does. I’d also
Go for emergency custody cuz clearly he’s unstable

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He needs to figure out his life. That’s not okay! Total insecurities. You don’t have to leave and he pretty much kidnapped his own kids. I’d file with the police

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Go to the court house in the am and file for custody

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Talk to a lawyer, go and file for custody asap. You live there and he can’t just kick you out. He can try and evict you.

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Talk to a lawyer and file for emergency custody ASAP.

You should not be talking to your ex anyways- you may not think it’s major but he does! If tables were turned would it be ok for his exes to contact him ? Still have his number ? I mean what part you have fault don’t you understand in this.

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I mean I feel like he has good reason to be upset, but he’s also taking it too far by immediately leaving and taking the kids.

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Contact a lawyer and file for custody. Go to the bank and get money in your name only soon before he takes your name off of all the accounts.

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Yeah none of that is how it works…

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Is there more to this story? Is there any reason he should be concerned about the ex?Im not justifying what he did but would we be saying the same thing if it were vice versa?

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All We know is what she’s saying, sounds like there’s more to the story. I bet those texts aren’t as innocent as she says. I would take my kids and leave if my partner was texting their ex too… two sides to every story man sounds like he’s had enough and is done

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I wonder if this is the whole story, why would anyone just up and leave, take his kids and go to his mom’s house? I have a feeling that this is a regular occurrence you and your ex chatting… Why you still have his number is just weird asf…

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If you feel like it’s worth saving talk to him about marriage counseling

If you’re in a mother state like TN, you have all the rights whether he’s on the birth certificate or not, otherwise it’s a court situation, but what he’s done is considered kidnapping in EVERY state of the US. In either case, call the police because that is considered kidnapping in the eyes of the law whether they’re his kids or not, it’s kidnapping. Fight for your children. If someone would do that to your children and to you, you deserve better and those babies deserve better. That is kidnapping, call the police and get your babies back! That behavior is not okay for those children or for you!

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Lawyer…
Second he was reaching for an excuse to run

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If it’s a fault state you may lose in the divorce.

I’m thinking there has to be more to this story :woman_shrugging: like the others have suggested I’d be going to file for custody asap. Good luck sounds like a messy situation. Sorry but I’d be beyond pissed if my hubby/partner txt their ex for no reason. Unless there’s kids involved I can’t see why anyone married would txt an ex :woman_shrugging:

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Don’t leave. Don’t leave under any circumstances. And get a lawyer and get temp emergency custody asap.

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Sorry but if this was the other way around everyone would be saying He did wrong by texting his ex get him out til he knows what he wants blahblah so il say the same for you leave let him carm down and than go back and try talk to him because your ex is obviously an ex for a reason there shouldn’t be any reason for him 2 contact you unless uz have kids together so my opinion ild be just as pissed off as him and would do the same and tell you 2 leave

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There’s more to this story. Why did you ex have your number? Why did he feel like he could text you? Something doesn’t sound right…

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I love the amount of people saying he’s unstable :woman_facepalming:. If it was the other way around EVERYONE would be telling her to kick him the fuck out. Or take the kids and go… But no. The dad does it and it’s a whole different story :roll_eyes:

I mean really why were you talking to your ex and how long I actually don’t blame him totally disrespectful and for you husband to take kids too. You been talking to your ex a lot and he tired of it

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Call the police. That’s kidnapping.

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You talking to your EX is a red flag!
He may see it as your trying to build a relationship again.

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I don’t blame him. You shouldn’t be talking to your ex. You shouldn’t have his number unless you have children with him. There’s no reason you should be talking to him.

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If this were happening to me the last thing on my mind would be getting 9n Facebook to ask strangers what I should do. And if they were my kids no one! And I mean No one! would have been. Able to get out the door with them while there was a breath left in my body.

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It’s not right for him to up and take the kids from you, but at the same time you absolutely should not be talking to your ex. Its wrong of you to do so, he’s your ex for a reason.

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I’d be mad if my so was talking to an ex too. I mean it’s your ex for a reason. Just wait until things calm
Down he cant take the kids or kick you out legally

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First of all, you haven’t lost custody so he can’t tell you to leave and he certainly can’t just keep your children! He can’t do that! Go get your children if he doesn’t give them to you Call the police!:rage:

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What do mean they weren’t dressed? Like he frantically ripped them away from you and ran away?

You probably should have communicated with him the second your ex texted you. Because (even if you weren’t or it wasn’t intentional) it can look like you were trying to hide it from him or go behind his back. Try to be a little understanding. How would you feel if he was talking to his ex without notifying you about it. Even if it was harmless conversation. Typically the only reason an ex would reach out, is because they’re trying to rekindle an old flame. So maybe give him some space and when things cool down a bit, you guys can sit down together and you can explain yourself, whether or not he’ll believe you is a different thing. Because like I said… you should have told him about it the second you got that message. Period.

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So what if she was talking to her ex, doesn’t give him the right to take their children from her. Sounds like kidnapping. Call the police.

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If a man had been chatting to his ex, everyone here would be saying: leave him or run. Yet now we are giving legal advice. Listen up, you knew what you were doing. There is more to this story.

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First of all you NEVER leave the house! He can come back with the kids and he either has a adult conversation with you hears you out and if that dosent help and he still wants you out you stay put and tell him he can or back with his mumma if he has a problem. Get yourself a lawyer so you can understand your rights if he dosent trust you or isn’t willing to calm the hell down and discuss. If you feel he is after a way out he can leave but they are your kids also so he has no right to take them from you! I don’t care the reasons why you got a text none of my business! Just never leave the house!

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call the police!!! and he can not MAKE you leave you have just as much right to the house as he does, and contact a lawyer NOW!! he is using the kids as a weapon and showed no regard for their mental health

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This is why you don’t text an ex. They’re an ex for a reason. Your Husband may have overreacted, but I can’t say that wouldnt do the same thing if I was in his situation.

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Well lots of options but feel like this is clearly one side of the story. But file for custody before he does

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Sorry you going through this, but talking to your exe idk about that bc if my husband was talking to his exe I would of been upset also and left. Now if you had a child with your exe and you guys are arranging things than that’s different. But I wish you the best and hope things will be okay with you guys!

Go try and pick them up. If mum won’t allow you to take them call the police. Also He can’t just kick you out but if your afraid the police after getting your kids back can help find you some housing at a women’s shelter

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He’s rightfully upset… let him cool off. Assuming he’s on birth certificates, and you’re married you might be SOL until you go to court.
We don’t know the full story, but I’ve done the same. To me it was no big deal. If you’re like me, then apologize. Show him the messages, don’t talk to the ex any more and offer to block him. If things go well. Then you DEFINITELY need counseling because if nothing more is going on with you, there’s something going on with him. Even if only his insecurities

Tell him to come home and talk to U. Ask if that’s the real reason

I feel like this isn’t the whole story. Either there was already mistrust or you’ve done this before or something you said triggered him. There’s no way on a first offense of talking to someone if you offered up the phone and let him look through it that he’d up and leave.

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In the UK , You can’t do anything about getting the kids if he’s on their birth certificate. It’s not classed as kidding napping if he’s on the birth certificate. If he doesn’t pass them back or you get them you’d have to go to court.

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Court order immediately

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Nobody should be using kids as a punishment or a pawn so stop with the she shouldn’t have text her ex mess. Who cares what she did why punish the kids. The responses on here are so immature!

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I’d call the police and say he abducted them.

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Call the cops. He can’t do that, but you can’t be texting your ex either. Tf

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Am I the drama? Kids and hubby in the house and youre talking to the ex? That’s just way too extra for me.

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Call the police NOW and let them sort it out. Let them tell you your options. That’s basically kidnapping if he’s not allowing you to see them.

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How many times on this same page have we seen women telling another woman to leave a man for LESS than talking to his ex? So one sided. If he was messaging his ex she’d be on here singing a different tune about how betrayed she feels and she doesn’t know what to do because they have kids and EVERYBODY would be telling her to leave and take the kids.

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Don’t leave the home if you leave he will automatically get custody of them kids

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Call the Cops. He should of not taken the kids. You are there mother. Get him for kid napping.

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WHY in the world would you think your behaviour was ok? He’s got the right to be upset & by the looks of things there’s more to this story.

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I think there’s a bit missing to this story! :thinking:🫡

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To all those saying call the cops. The cops arent going to do shit in most states of the us. Because he has just as much right to those children as you do. So if he wont come back after calming down. Then you need to contact and lawyer and your sol if he wont let you have them untill court.

All ex should be blocked on both sides so they can’t contact you 🤷 more so for people that didn’t share kids…

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He can’t just take your kids to his moms and keep them from you. Against the law. He also can’t kick you out. I think you should have called the police before you posted in this group. Good luck to you all :pray:t3::heart:

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Why entertain Xs in the first place? If you have unfinished business why did he become an X

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They are his children. He told you where he was going with them. Is it his home or both of yours? If just his, not much you can do but leave. As for children, get an attorney and file visitation and custody guidelines.

All of this could of been avoided. Stop talking to your ex/exs

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You have the rights. Yes by law if you’re married both have rights but judge willllll neverrrr take the kids away from the mother without probable cause.

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If your in the state of Tennessee and yall are married and hes on the Birth certificate there is nothing you can do about it unless you file for custody first

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Their isn’t a soul that would take my babies and not have a fight… I’d b calling for quarters right now not Facebook advice :woman_shrugging:

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Everyone saying call the police they won’t do anything with out a custody order those are his kids as much as they are hers and there’s no order saying he can’t have them

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Call cops, don’t leave he has no grounds to take them. Just because you were talking to someone… Don’t leave the house.

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Do not leave. Call the police

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Go down the county court and file tomorrow

Flip the roles. How would YOU feel? At the end of the day it comes down to the level of respect you have for your husband. An ex is an ex for a reason. Your husband has the right to be upset. As soon as your ex messaged you, you should have blocked him and not even responded.

Do you understand how your actions made him feel or how it made him feel inadequate? He has a right to the children as well. He IS their father.

Swallow some humble pie and do all you can to make it up to him. After all, you were the one who did wrong.

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If he had been msging his ex everyone would be telling the mum to take the kids and leave but when the mum is in the wrong and the Dad takes the kids and leaves it’s suddenly wrong…

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You can stay in the home as its your legal residence. Go to the court house first thing and file emergency custody and for kids main residence to be yours.
Keep everything he says. Only speak about kids wellbeing and nothing else as it can be used against you in court. You can call for a wellbeing check for the kids to make sure they are safe in the time being

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Ex still has access to you. You are married. Would you want an ex having access to your husband? Exes are put in the past for a reason. It’s none of his concern how you are…

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They’re your kids too and he can’t deny them to you. You didn’t put them in harms way, you didn’t cheat on him, according to what you said he literally is going nuclear.
Do you have a history of cheating? Does he have a history of running to his mama anytime his feelings get hurt?

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I’d be contacting a family law solicitor as through the eyes of the court yous both have rights to the children and the police don’t generally get involved unless there are orders in place, and we can’t really give advice about you leaving the home as we don’t know the back story
I’d be getting legal advice asap cos by law he hasn’t done anything wrong
The way he took kids undressed is abit of a whoa for me but I’m sure he has clothes ect at his mums

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All I’m saying is if this said “My husband was texting his ex… I didn’t see anything like that between them. But I took the kids and we left to my mom’s house. I don’t want to go back there… what should I do” … this would be a whole thing on how awful he is and you were right to leave with the kids and Yada Yada… That’s wack. My only advice ? Don’t text exs.

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Maybe they better off… some time Momma ain’t the best…

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You’re married with children, switch it around how would you feel? Treat people the way you would like to be treated. I feel bad for your husband, its bs

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So whats the connection with the ex? Kids, youre still in love with the ex,? what?

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Why does he have your phone number?

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Smh u probably would feel something if he talked to his ex? I say call his bluff and go back to ur ex :laughing:

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Nothing serious. So just preheating the oven for them old McDonald’s fries

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I can see why he’s mad if you guys were talking about personal stuff, but he has no right to just take the kids and kick you out. He has to give 30 day eviction notice for one, and if you’re married then both names should be on the house, so don’t leave. Make it up to him if your marriage is worth fighting for, and stop talking to the ex if it bothers him

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Get an attorney file for emergancy temporary fulk custody and divorce have the paperwork state you get to stay in the house until things are settled.

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Your messaging your ex? How can you think you did nothing wrong? :thinking::woozy_face:

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If two people are secure in themselves and their relationship there should be no concern on either side.

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Stay put !!! And don’t be talking to you X any more !!!

So your husband got mad took the kids and went to his mother’s. so I’m assuming you’re legally married and that the children belong to you and him? (meaning your kids don’t have another father). let him go to his mother’s, stand your ground stay at home because it is after all your home too seeing as your married .let him come back tomorrow with the kids and talk see whats what. Don’t try to fix this over the phone or in txt it should be an in person Convo and if he still feels the same way make your choice from there. Because you guys are married there really isn’t much u can do about him taking HIS kids to his mom’s. Just like he couldn’t do much if the tables were reversed. If this is headed for divorce get a lawyer asap and DO NOT voluntarily leave your home or your kids behind simply because he demands it threatens it etc. etc. It’s a scare tactic. IF there is a possibility of real harm to u or the kids them start making calls now police domestic abuse centers women’s shelters lawyer etc etc etc. I wish u the best of luck.

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Something tells me there’s a whole lot more to the story than what you are saying.

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Even if she texted her ex (I don’t support that) doesn’t mean he should take the kids.

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Just another thought, but what if the rest of the story is HE has cheated and thinks she is just bc an ex text her? What if he is insanely controlling? Y’all covered the parts where it could be her actually cheating, ect… probably is more, lots more to the story, but I have no clue on which way to lean. I will say that it’s not reason enough to take your kids from you, just as if it was him messaging the ex. The kids have nothing to do with any of that and sending a text doesn’t make you a bad parent, so he is wrong by taking the kids, especially straight out of a bath. If he refuses to let you speak to them or see them by in the morning- he is definitely withholding out of spite and EVERY state and EVERY judge frowns on that. As far as him leaving you for that, it’s extreme BUT don’t know the rest of the story, so either a lesson or blessing

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Don’t go (move)nowhere and go get your kids Also stop talking to ex’s

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I feel like there is more to the story than just talking to your ex…

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You have obviously crossed a huge boundary and he has reacted. You’ve really hurt him. Fight for your family and block your ex and apologise to your husband

I heard this same nonsense from my partner, when I saw messages from his ex arriving on the phone, he turned to me and said there was nothing wrong texting his ex. I said this is disrespectful to me, because everyone has exes, but that’s in the past not in your present life.

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Why should she stop talking to an ex? I have exs that are now my friends so does my partner and we trust each other! There sounds more to this story but stand your ground do not move out and fight for those children x

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Maybe let him calm down first. He’ll come to you to talk when he’s ready. If I’d caught my partner texting their ex I’d be pissed off too.
All the best mate✌️

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