QUESTION:
"My husband of 11 years recently went to his parent's house for his two weeks vacation. This is something he does every year, and no, my kids and I are not invited. His parents do not like me yet have never met me due to living out of state. My husband comes back from his vacation and goes back to work. Nothing much different. He has had his job for over 25 years, mind you. He works the Monday he comes back through Friday. Saturday, he tells me at about 9 pm he quit his job. I knew he had been unhappy at his job the past two years, but still….no notice at a job of over 25 years, and that covers all of us with his insurance. He then tells me on Sunday, his Sister had texted him and said his Dad's health was severely declining, and he was driving out to be with his parents on Monday (the very next day). He did not take all of his clothes or stuff, but he has been gone for two weeks. He has texted me but has not called me. He says he misses us and hasn't deserted us. He said he would Venmo his money back for his part of the rent to our landlord and pay online his few bills. I ask him when he's coming home, and he says he doesn't know. Maybe I'm overreacting, but again I feel deserted, and I've really been struggling with depression due to this. I know he is at his parent's. Am I overreacting? It was all so sudden; I guess at first I was in shock—no time to process any of this. I wanted to know how anyone else would feel in my position. I just feel very alone. I have no family to talk to about it. He again acts like it's business as usual, but it doesn't feel that way to me, to be honest."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
"I would drive to his parent's house and see for myself if he is really there and if his dad is really sick. Just show up and be like hi I'm your son's wife and these are his kids."
"So do you have the parent's phone number? Address? If so I'd have the kids in the car and on my way. I'm seriously doubting he's at his parents. Do you have contact with anyone in his family??"
"I would definitely get your affairs in order. Something isn't right. No husband/father goes on vacay for 2 weeks without their family that right there is odd. And how can people not like you when you haven't even met them yet that sounds off as well. Good luck to you hope it all works out the way you want."
"I would leave my children with someone you trust, and I would be making a trip to make sure he is where he says he is OR, YOU WOULD ACTUALLY find out what is really going on."
"Even though they don’t like you, reach out and see if they need anything at all since his father's health is declining. If he’s being honest about the situation, they will appreciate you reaching out. OR if he’s lying they will wonder what you’re talking about. Maybe you’ll get an answer that way?"
"Drive up there, kids and all. Confront him. Get your answer instead of dwelling and being miserable. Someone that loves you would never put you through this."
"Pack your bag, the kids' bags, Google the parent's address, jump in your car and go there."
"It’s kind of hard for me to understand him being “so close” to his parents and them not wanting anything to do with their grandkids."
"I want to feel bad for him, maybe he's trying to prepare himself for losing a parent, but all of this seems so…..extreme for that. Quitting a 25 year job? I feel like had he went about it the right way he could've gotten like a small leave of absence or something not so permanent. Try to be supportive of him as long as you can, but don't be oblivious either."
"I would just show up to the parents house to get the truth or have all your stuff gone and be moved out before he comes back. This is not normal at all."
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