My husband left to his parents house and I feel abandoned: Advice?

My husband of 11 years recently went to his Parent’s house for his two weeks vacation. This is something he does every year, and no, my kids and I are not invited. His parents do not like me yet have never met me due to living out of state. My husband comes back from his vacation and goes back to work. Nothing much different. He has had his job for over 25 years, mind you. He works the Monday he comes back through Friday. Saturday, he tells me at about 9 pm he quit his job. I knew he had been unhappy at his job the past two years, but still….no notice at a job of over 25 years, and that covers all of us with his insurance. He then tells me on Sunday, his Sister had texted him and said his Dad’s health was severely declining, and he was driving out to be with his parents on Monday (the very next day). He did not take all of his clothes or stuff, but he has been gone for two weeks. He has texted me but has not called me. He says he misses us and hasn’t deserted us. He said he would Venmo his money back for his part of the rent to our landlord and pay online his few bills. I ask him when he’s coming home, and he says he doesn’t know. Maybe I’m overreacting, but again I feel deserted, and I’ve really been struggling with depression due to this. I know he is at his parent’s. Am I overreacting? It was all so sudden; I guess at first I was in shock—no time to process any of this. I wanted to know how anyone else would feel in my position. I just feel very alone. I have no family to talk to about it. He again acts like it’s business as usual, but it doesn’t feel that way to me, to be honest.

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Maybe you should drive down and see what’s going on. If not it not as it seems and he is a dick, tell him to cough up some spousal and child support. If it is as it seems, then tell him that you got worried and wanted to show him support. Then go home after a few days.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband left to his parents house and I feel abandoned: Advice?

If they don’t like you and have never met you sounds like the husband is talking the worst about you to them. Big yikes.

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11years and u haven’t met the parents. Wow.

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I would just talk to him about it. First you should be accepted regardless. You are the spouse. Or maybe he’s just overwhelmed and needs a break from family life. Best thing is bring it up

I would be like, well I would like to come along and meet your family. 11 years of never meeting you in person is a long time to just let him keep doing this to you. I would be asking a lot of questions.

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This is not normal at all. 11 years and you haven’t met them? He just quit his job and left and has no return date?! Wtheck?! I’d be driving my butt to his parents and figuring out what’s going on right now.

A ridiculous amount of years & they’ve never met you? Sounds fishy. What’s shadier is he hasn’t called you to let you know what’s going on. Does he have another family in a different state? :exploding_head:

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I’m confused…you have been married for 11 years and never met your in laws? He’s going to Venmo his part of the bills? Do you work? How many children? Sounds like there may be more going on here…

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Uhhh wtf did I just read :flushed::flushed::flushed:

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Sounds very fishy to me!!

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Oh, I’d file divorce papers.

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You’re the mother of his children. You deserve more respect and Consideration.

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If in doubt get out!

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Woaahhhh this is so not right. Something is way off about the whole thing.

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I’d drive to his parents to see what’s going on.

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Why have you not gone there!? I do not understand this at all. If his dad is sick you should want to be there with him. Dang. I don’t believe I could do this at all. Either come home or I am coming there.

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There is a lot of strange things here. Idk what’s going on but it doesn’t sound like this is a good relationship for you.

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Absolutely not ! I’ve lost count of the red flags!

You don’t just drop everything, quit your job, and borderline go ghost for yet to be determined length of time!

Married 11 years and never met his parents? Girl pack your children and go! Somethings seriously not adding up here!

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Sounds like he checked out long ago. Why dont they want to meet the people that are supposed to be most important. Some shady shit going on.

Married 11 years but you haven’t met his parents but he drives to them?…girl WHAT. And doesn’t call only texts. Does he have a girlfriend out of state? Did he knock someone up and is over there with her? This is by far the sketchiest post I have ever read on here.

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I wouldn’t live in a situation like that I would kick his f****** ass to the curb and leave that’s just me

So many red flags
Get your stuff in order .so many scenarios could be happening here and communicate somehow with his childish ass.stay one step ahead

This is insane. I’d be livid. What type of spouse does this? Not ok and not normal. I’d be contacting a lawyer and filing abandonment. Shame on him. Wtf. I’m sorry you’re being treated this way.

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So it definitely sounds like there is something going on. 11 yrs. & kids. You haven’t meet his parents. Yea absolutely not.

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Sounds like cheating honestly.

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If hes from another country maybe hes got a whole nother family just sounds questionable

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And way inconsiderate

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Did his parents not come to the wedding?? How on earth have you not met them in 11 years… and how can they not like you if they never met you…I’d be questioning wtf has he said… are you sure he’s actually going to his parents? Why can’t he call? This is all very strange

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I wouldn’t marry a man with not meeting his parents

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I hate to break it to you honey, but he’s got another gf/wife or something, I would absolutely hire a PI to find out for sure.

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Nope nope…it all wrong. Is he telling the truth? Or whatever it is. You should leave him and do the best for you and the kids.

How do you even know his parents have been alive this whole time?

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I feel like he’s very disrespectful. He’s choosing to continue to exclude you. They seem like very judgemental people but where are they getting their information in order to decide to like or dislike you? Your husband should stand up for you and bring you with him and have your back always. Seems like the relationship is rocky and you might need to reevaluate it.

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Sounds like someone has been living a double life and has finally made a final decision… JMO

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Yea… that’s some BS!

Throw away the whole man

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He’s leading a double life trust me.

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His parents? Sounds like he has another family.

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See a lawyer. His part of the RENT? GUYS A DOUCHE.

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Sooooooooo what do we think this other family of his consists of? Wife and a couple kids?

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Oh no! I agree with most of these comment sweet heart that’s really strange … you’d think they’d at least try to put up with you for two weeks vacation to see their grandkids and what not !? And he goes on vacation and doesn’t include you and the kids ? I’d understand if he went for just a weekend get a way but this just doesn’t sit right. Honestly if I were in your shoes I’d pull up on him! Make sure he’s really doing what he says he’s doing. I get that he wants to be there for his dad especially if these are possibly the last moments they’ll have since his health is declining but for him to not even call you ? Or anything… that’s just really odd!

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Load up the kids, jump in the car and go to your husband. Jump in his arms and tell him you need him and don’t feel well without him. See how he reacts. He is your husband! Go be with him. His dad is sick and he probably needs you too. Then at least you’ll know where you stand. Don’t tell him anything. Just show up

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Sound like he is livinv a double life

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Doesn’t seem normal at all. Something bad is off.

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Dont always assume the worst! Please if his dad’s health is declining rapidly be patient. I lost my dad. Losing a parent is very hard and having stress in a relationship makes it that much harder

Omg. I would be going to where he is and letting him know just how I feel

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This is not normal :face_with_monocle:

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When my dad went to the hospital with serious health problems. I got on a plane and left my husband with all three of our kids for a week. Hang in there!

Don’t like you and don’t know you…. YET?
I’m gonna add one little word to that sentence for ya…

Don’t know ABOUT you yet….

And I’m guessing there’s a lot more words to that story that no one knows but him. But, I’d be adding divorce if it were me.

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He cheating sis!! Let’s be real :thinking: You know it as well but just don’t want to face it.

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So do you have the parents phone number? Address? If so I’d have the kids in the car and on my way. I’m seriously doubting hes at his parents. Do you have contact with anyone in his family??

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trust your gut. this does not sound like it will have a happy ending.

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Sorry but he should of stand up to his parents on u and the kids and yes it sounds like he left you

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Sounds very off. Not right. Listen to your gut.

Sounds very suspicious to me. I ain’t saying he’s living some kind of double life but I ain’t saying he’s not either 🤷

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I am sorry but 11 years? You have never met his parents? This has to be made up! My husbands family lives in another country and I met them several times before I got married! Your husband has to be living a double life and has another family by his parents if you have never been there! That is totally off the wall! I would pack the kids up and take a ride myself to see what is going on! Book a hotel for the night and do a surveillance before knocking on the door! Or higher a private detective to do it for you! Something is not right with this picture! How can his parents not like you if you have never met? That’s another question!

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Call and talk to your husband!!! Communication between spouses is important!

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I am sorry.
I am praying for you and your children.
I hope you have some emotional support outside of him.friends or maybe church family. Be strong and know your deserve honesty.

Sounds like he has another family , sorry :pensive:

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Baby girl. He left you move on

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So they’ve never even met their grandchildren either? :flushed:

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Drive up there, kids and all. Confront him. Get your answer instead of dwelling and being miserable. Someone that loves you would never put you through this.

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11 years and you’ve never met his parents?? What kind of grandparents wouldn’t want to meet their grandchildren. It sounds like he has another family.

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Yea probably a double life and a second family. Either that or I been watching too many crime shows lol

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No he’s with someone else

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Ok there are so many red flags in this.

1st I think there is more to the story.
2nd how in the world would you marry a man who you haven’t met his family (or did you because you also stated they don’t like you)
3rd are you sure he quit his job and wasn’t fired for some reason?
4th if all of your statements were true and you haven’t met his parents, he often visits his family with out you for 2 weeks at a time, and he isn’t calling then that’s the biggest red flag right there.

Sounds like he may be living a double life.

Have the grandparents ever met their grandchildren? What grandparents wouldn’t want to meet their grandchildren?

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Uggggghhh it’s the not calling for me, he’s up to something

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None that sounds normal :roll_eyes:

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I would hop on a plane with my kids and go to his parents and see for your self

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We gonna need an update too🤭

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I would pack my bags and head to where he was, and see exactly what is what and go from there, surprise him

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There is nothing wrong with him wanting to spend time with his family, & since he has been doing this forever, Why worry now?? But saying that he should also do something special with you, Now you say ‘my kids’, not both of your kids…so I am guessing they are not his biologically ??? So since you guys have been married 11 yrs, they are older. As for his father’s health failing, he does have the right to be there, As for him quitting his job, WOW, especially after being there for 25 yrs Maybe it’s time for you to find a job, with insurance & when he gets back, ask him just why hasn’t he taken you on vacation with him…not to his parents house, But anywhere

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Pull up on him. Something ain’t right. Especially with how long yall have been together.

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Sounds suspicious as hell

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Omg I’m so sorry there are red flags all over the place here. First, it’s weird he takes off for two weeks without you and your kids and doesn’t call and/or FaceTime. Secondly I do think it’s odd you have never met his parents even in a FaceTime etc in 11 years. Something just seems off. I would start digging through phone/credit card bills etc to see if anything seems off. Go with your gut bc it’s usually right. Best of luck!!

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He has another life somewhere else. And it isn’t his parents house either.

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Sounds like he has a other family dosent add up very fishy I’d pack up the kids and drive down if you have the address

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I don’t care what state you live in, and how far apart they are from you. There’s no way I’m letting my sons or daughters get married without me meeting their spouse waaaay before a wedding would take place. And they would never, ever get married without me being a part of it.

He hasn’t called you in two weeks? That is disrespectful in a marriage! If he wants out of it then he needs to be a f$ckin man and say so. Get your ducks in a row. Sending hugs

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I think he lying come on now he didn’t take his clothes to change and all his belongings still there said he quit his job and said dad is sick I am sorry everything not adding up how know he cheating on you? Think need find out what he really doing?

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He’s not at his parents.

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I’m sorry. That is really suspicious. Take a visit. My sister just found out her bf had another family. He would go to Virginia to work weeks at a time.

Somethings fishy about this😞

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go check it out and get the answers you need

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the trash took itself out honey.:relaxed::kissing_heart::heart:chin up he left…so just remember that when he tryna come back

Dang! His other family said it’s time for you to stay home

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You should have walked years ago.

So sorry- he’s slowly plotting how to leave you. 1 step at a time… quitting his job, probably finding a new one in this new area he’s vacationing yet. No calls?? That is extremely weird after being together 11 years?? Huge red flag! I’m sorry but I would absolutely find where he is and go check for yourself on what’s really going on, because it sure ain’t what he’s telling you. Good luck!

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You have an intuition for a reason use it girl !!!

Sorry if he can’t call and I wasn’t welcome and he don’t have a job anyhow, boy—BYE. You either want the family you have or go back to the family you had. Good luck.

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he’s wanting out and he is too coward to admit it. could be depressed himself and might not have quit his job may have been let go and not know how to tell you. hire an investigator I would say. and if you share kids and his parents have not made an effort in over a decade yeah he is trying to phase out the tension with his family. sorry sweetie

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You’ve never met his parents and you have kids do they not know their grandchildren this whole thing sounds fishy to me if If I was you I would get someone to take care of my children and I would be on an airplane showing up at his parents house

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Not sure what he’s up to but, something is wrong

We gonna need a live on this before we can accurately fb diagnose this segment🤣

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No way you should deal with him. Make a smart, quick exit plan!

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Do you know any of his family personally? Or do they know your kids or anything ?

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Have your children met his parents? And in all this time he hasn’t spent vacation time on you and the kids
… and you split the bills? You have an arrangement…not a relationship.

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Prepare for the worst. May calm your anxiety. “Tough men” are sometimes unable to be real to say what’s really going on. I trust those gut feelings.