If he lists her as next of kin, leave so she can be his kin. Don’t destroy yourself and feel any type of way that it has anything whatsoever to do w you. He’s a weirdo
What does he say his reason is for not trusting you, if no reason,I’d be done
You are legally his next of kin then parents then kids .but you need to have a serious talk with hi.
He doesn’t trust u for that but yet he trusts u to have 2 of his babies:interrobang: Ummmm…. that would be my cue to or maybe
Um…wow…
Also, I agree with April Anderson Mckinney
Run as fast as you can. That is a major red flag! I am my husband’s emergency contact on everything and his ex is second on the list because they do have children together and she and I are friends.
Maybe you need to step back and think about why he might say that. He has a reason.
He can go back to his Ex!
He’s either still messing with her, still in love with her or both. You need to hire a lawyer and get that divorce because why waste anymore time on someone like that?
Why is this even a question? It’s time for a divorce.
Then why’s he with you ? You know what dont even bother arguing with him about it and dont even ask him why he doesnt trust you tell him to pack his shit and leave. You’ll find someone who can trust you and also have you as his next of kin
I would rethink being with him…what’s his purpose of being with you???
Take as much money as you can off him so you can pay for the lawyer who cares if you have funds, use his funds since he’s the one starting crap
Divorce. So he not leaving his kids anything or you anything if he dies smh… He’ll rather leave it all to the Ex. DIVORCE and he can go and be with the Ex.
You mean your ex right? Like as of today? Cause that’s definitely not okay.
What doesn’t he trust you too do? I mean if he is using her as a medical proxy, that’s insane and rude, cause if you have sons, he’s in a coma, she’s in charge of whether they can visit, what happens too his body should he die, and So on. It may also make her financially in charge of funeral arrangements should the time come. I’m not sure depending on the location but still, it’s rude.
If this is anything financial, leave.
This man sounds a little narcissistic in the way you described his reaction too your feelings, you can do better. You can make a plan too leave and even if your not wanting anything like that now, it’s time too prepare if the time comes and that changes. If I’m misreading the situation I’m sorry, bit my guess is there’s control financially, especially if he’s the sole income, and that only gets worse as the years go on.
It’s time to go
Wow and your still with him? I’d be packing his bags and sending him back to her
Nope…I’d leave…he trusts her but not you and you’re his wife…nope time to go
Yeah that’s messed up. Why’d he marry you if he doesn’t trust you?
how the f can ur own husband
not trust you his an ass, leave his ass like it’s funny
Um bye dude. He’d be gone.
What do you mean trust you as next of kin? What to say yes put him on life support or do you mean he has her as his benifiear. If so and he dies let her deal with it you can go to court to get what’s going to belongs to your kids cause by law they are next of kin. Then it will tie everything up in probate and she still won’t get anything.
I’d end it. Period. That man is either in love with her or still fu**ing her.
She’s not his ex. Maybe that’s what you call it.
They are still together, maybe not documented, but they are…
Sorry ma.
If he can’t trust you, leave him. Problem solved. A marriage isn’t a marriage without trust.
Kids by law are next of kin…
I went thru this… I’m my father’s next of kin. I was then contacted.
Sounds of things they low key fucking.
By law you are his next of kind sounds like he’s still in love with his ex
I have my ex-husband on mine not my current boyfriend I trust my ex-husband more
I was my ex husband’s until the day he died, as he named our son but he was a minor and couldn’t make those decisions. I still have his ashes for my son when he’s ready to take them. Our son is 19 now still living with me so. I knew my existed wishes for a burial and will follow through.
He is betraying you because he has split loyalties and is still committed to ex. That’s effed-up and so wrong. Get rid of him.
Yeah well I’d throw him out on the streets.
Legally you are his next of kin since you’re married so…
Um wtf why is he even with you then?
I would definitely leave him if he can’t trust you
What the beeb like leave his ass sounds like he’s still in love with his ex.
Wtf there’s more to this story
I think that would end the relationship for me
He doesn’t trust what? Like is he rich or what? I’d be like cool let her deal with your shit…especially if he ain’t got nothing, I mean what right does she actually have to him….as being an emergency contact? Your his wife…
My ex didn’t trust anyone, including his parents & me. We were married over 5 years; no children=his choice. He was immature/insecure.
So if there’s no TRUST there is no marriage. You might want to start looking into a divorce lawyer.
He’s being a douche bag. I think maybe there is a little more to the story, such as a some left over feelings for her and it’s a way to keep her still connected.
I just asked my partner & he said he hasn’t let go yet x
can i file for divorce on someone else’s behalf
WOW, that’s quite the blow you have been dealt. I really feel for you, if my partner didn’t trust me or vice versa we wouldn’t be partners. Trust is a real biggie for me, if there is no trust there is no foundation for a relationship, for me anyways. I completely understand how you would feel. To look you in the eye and say, “i don’t trust you” i would be totally crushed. That’s a glaring red flag to me. Hope you can work it out.
Wouldn’t his next of kin automatically be his children?
doesnt trust u with what exactly ? so if he was to hospital for what ever reason they would contact his ex wife not u? id be really hurt if i was u
So if he doesn’t trust you why did he marry you
Is he definitely divorced
Did he just never change it? Most are huge procrastinators.
I wouldn’t be happy either
I’d be fuming - No trust no marriage
Sounds like he thinks you am gonna snuff him/pull the plug on him if given half the change
Send him back to his wife
He’s an idiot!! if it was me I’d change it to someone else myself but I’m petty like that. If he doesn’t trust I wouldn’t trust him either!! X
You need to find out the context of his next of kin. Is it financial, medical. Listed where?
Maybe he doesn’t trust you with following out his medical wishes.
I was going to say he just hasn’t bothered to change it… cause men are like that …till I read the last bit.
Does he have a will ? Has he changed that or is his ex still receiving everything?
Personally id send him back to his ex as he says he doesn’t trust you
May be he trusts the ex-wide to take him off of life support
Maybe that was part of their divorce agreement? You never know why people do the things they do. Just ask.
Sounds like you’re just borrowing him from his ex wife.
There’s more to this… what reason did he give? He cannot simply “not trust you” without some sort of reason
Hell no. I’d be shipping that boy back to his wife. That’s a disrespect I personally would never stand for.
Mmm this is weird. Does he and his ex have a “deal” worked out of some sort? Do they have a fling going on? Why doesn’t your husband trust you? I would definitely try to figure those things out… especially why he doesn’t trust you. You guys have 2 children together and have been married for 3 years. The only thing I can think of besides a side affair is that his exes judgement may not be clouded IF medical decisions needed to be made. If she is listed as his next of kin on his life insurance policy (if he has one) sounds weird to me… especially considering you have children together. I would suggest seeing a marriage counselor honestly
Sounds like he has two wifes/ two lifes
Leave the bastard ! He probably still messing around with her !! OMGee
Does he want hard decisions made he’s worried you won’t be able to go through with it he doesn’t trust you to pull the plug on him?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband lists his ex listed as next of kin, why?
Hes still messing with her.
By law you are next if kin because you’re married. I would leave to be honest. I couldn’t be with someone that can’t let go of their past and has no trust in me. Put him on child support. Tell him to trust the fact that if he doesn’t pay it, he’ll go to jail. That he can count on.
That’s all it take for me to leave with my children then file for a divorce. There is no future with a man that can’t let go of his past. Sorry, not sorry!
There’s more to this and speaks volumes about his perception of this marriage. Respectfully suggest counseling.
Yikes. I’d be filing for divorce.
If they had kids together that would be one thing, but you say they don’t. Something more is going on here, there may be a back-story to their relationship that you haven’t been made aware of. All in all, it doesn’t bode well for your current relationship if there’s a lack of trust that goes both ways now. Get to the bottom of it. No one else will be able to tell you if it’s ok or not without knowing the context and history of both relationships. If he’s not being open and explaining the whole situation enough to your satisfaction, then he’s not making you or your relationship the priority here, and that’s the main problem.
Girl you need to sit him down and get to the bottom of it. Are there reason’s he can’t trust you? If not then y’all need some marriage counseling or a Pastor to talk too. Maybe he is saying he doesn’t trust you because he is out messing around!
No trust=No relationship
If he doesn’t trust you , you should not be together. As bad as it sounds file for a divorce unless you know that you have done something to destroy his trust but either way why be with someone who doesn’t trust you
… you think that ex wife gonna make sure your kids good after he dies? probably not! Get this figured out sooner than later!
Time to tell him that you no longer trust him. Time to tell him you’re going to get your priorities straight and life with him is over. Let him go…tell him bye…take care of you and your kids. His ex is not going to worry about his kids in the event of his death. His/your children will not inherit anything…and hopefully she’ll bury him.
He doesn’t trust you then leave him ! By law if anything happens to him you’re his wife you will make the decision unless a judge says otherwise . If he has a living will and he named her to inherit all he has that’s a different matter because a valid will is going to be respected . For whatever reason he obviously cannot let go of the past then you let go of the present and future .
Go ahead and let her be listed. When you have children talk with a lawyer. In some cases when he has children they can file and you will get half of it. Not only that but you are the nof kin. You will get the death certificate. She can’t get it with out one.
Ok maybe I’m crazy. What exactly does he not trust you about? Next of kin doesn’t mean she will have any say on life insurance financial stuff will etc. But given an accident or out of the blue circumstances he may trust her more in being able to pull the plug or something along those lines? Like in the event of such you are going to be in a highly emotional and vulnerable state. Maybe he don’t trust you in that moment. I’d like to think I could trust my so in that moment but as quickly as those moments come maybe he wants someone who’s not as emotionally attached to handle that to lessen the burden on you. Like ik it’s far fetched thinking that way but I thinkI could do it if I knew that was my partners final wishes but it would be hard as hell while also trying to navigate my feelings and young ones feelings
Her being his next of kin aside, the man said he doesn’t trust you, THATS the real issue.
Divorce! He shouldn’t trust his ex of a year more than you his wife of 3 years and mother to his children! He’s might honestly still be messing with her.
And he dies. She gets everything
Maybe he doesn’t know how to change it. Or it never occurred to him. Would wonder what she is listed as next of kin on costlemark billfold info thing, life insurance policy computer info? My guess is he doesn’t have a clue that it’s important.
What exactly does that mean? Some people don’t answer their phone or check messages promptly…that’s the only conclusion I have. I’d wonder what kind of relationship they actually have.
And he doesn’t love you enough. He still love the first wife.
WTH? Why did he even marry someone he didn’t trust? This is bs! I’d be very hurt!
Wow wtf
No something is goin on there.
Jesus…id be gone.
No ties…no attachments
No thats not right.
Id walk.
And the fact that somebody is worried about her getting everything in the wife and kids nothing is not correct no. Depends on what state you live. Don’t know if she would get nothing the wife and the kids would be next of kin prude with a marriage license and birth certificates and that would be the end of it.
Oh hell no. I’d be driving my butt to a divorce lawyer ASAP.
Too many unanswered questions. Was that set up before or after y’all married? Has something happened between y’all that caused an issue with trust? Did he do it because she’s a “neutral” party?
Leave him he does not trust you the why in the he’ll did he marry you, plus the fact he is not over his ex.
There must be a reason he doesn’t trust you
Since there is not a reason for them to even be in contact I’d be getting to the bottom of it now. To hell with that makes no sense. Good Luck. Sounds like there may be a secret that he or she needs to let out. Sorry girl …hope it’s resolved soon… or kick him to the curb tell him since she’s that important go live with her…
I would have to get a divorce. Like i couldnt keep going knowing that fact. Id never stop questioning his idea of love.
His “Ex” ain’t an Ex
It’s very possible he’s not over her and is still messing with her. Might be time to go.