Relatable. Sorry girl
I don’t think you’re overreacting. My fiance works 10pm-8:30am. He gets home and feeds our 3 month old and is then asleep by 9. I wake him up around 2-3 so he can spend time with our family and help me with our son and our 3 year old. It’s important for both parents to be involved in everyday activities.
While it’s not easy, it’s his response that bothers me. Kick him out? Do you both the favor? Sounds like he checked out of the relationship and you need to have a long talk about where to go from here.
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I do that shift and all I want to do is sleep its draining, and then you feel bad for it so give him a break I feel bad for not seeing my kids as much as I want but I need to as I am a single mum, give him a break let him get use to it and maybe stop nagging him
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Night shifts are horrible, but I would be concerned about his response to you more than anything, kick him out and do you both a favour? Really? Complaining that you’ve spoken up about how you feel? Rather than respond like that, it would be nice if he could just explain that he wishes he could but hes just so tired, bla bla bla. His response wasn’t an understanding or respectful one x
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you are overreacting .i work 10:30-7 am 5 days a week and all i do is sleep and eat after work then 8 i get up to get ready for work.Try to be patient with him overnight shifts are not easy at all
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I used to work night shift and it took a long time to adjust, our internal clocks get all messed up. Maybe cut him some slack and give him some more time to adjust and let his body get a schedule it literally took me more then 6 months of being on nights to get used to it a get a schedule going to where I was able to participate in normal life again.
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Sounds to me like you have likely been going on at him about a lot more than just taking time to rest and that he’s probably fed up of it now, and sounds a bit depressed if I’m honest.
I dont see why you have a problem he’s going to work, making sure he’s resting, and some people 100% do need more sleep, I did nights and was happy to sleep all day long where as the other way around I only sleep 6hours a night, but who on earth had the right to tell me how long I need or don’t need. Leave the poor man alone. It sounds to me you have your own issues and that you’re taking them out on him and he’s probably had more than enough now. So coming onto social media and painting him to be a bad person isn’t cool! Possibly try work on what’s clear to me is your own needs and issues and allow your husband the respect he deserves to be his own person
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You could always get a part time job and he could cut his hours back a little.
Clearly you need the break from the house/kids and so on.
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My question is why does he come home and go straight to bed? We don’t do that working an 8 to 5 job right? Why doesnt he stay up for a while and then go to bed to get the normal 7-8 hrs sleep? This is what my Dad did for many years. And yes that shift blows… for all. He may just need more time to adjust
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I worked the night shift and was just drained all the time. Even on my days off I just wanted to sleep. My spouse was very supportive. I feel sorry for your husband, being married to you.
I had a REALLY tough time working the graveyard shift…I worked it for many years because it paid more than the other shifts and it wasn’t as busy at night (call center agent) but I did exactly what your husband is doing…got home, was in bed within an hour and slept until it was time to get up and shower, dress, and eat and go to work. That was pretty much my life…on my nights off I was exhausted and had to do laundry and errands and chores and then spent the rest of the time in bed asleep. It is a VERY taxing shift…it can really wear down your mind and body. He needs time to adjust better…it’ll likely always be a tough schedule…it was for me even though I worked it for many years, it got a little easier after a few months but it was never easy for me. I understand that it’s tough on you having to take care of everything at home alone, but please try to be understanding and supportive. If he HAS to work this shift, help him by giving him time to adjust…at least a few months. Best Wishes.
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Something more going on there then sleeping problems, kick him out response, seems like that maybe he’d like that somehow, you’ll need to sit down and have a good chat about it, it seems that he does not want to participate with his family, I know it’s very hard but if he loves you he’ll find a way!
Night shift is the absolute worst. I don’t know how anyone adapts to it. Working an off-shift was the worst 3 years of my working career… most of the people you work with are miserable, which makes you miserable and trying to be an active member of anything is damn near impossible because there’s little joy in being awake knowing you have to go back to that crap shift with crap attitudes later that night. Having a family makes it even harder, I would imagine. Luckily, my time on that shit shift was before I had children and it was only the cats that suffered my absence (kidding, they didn’t care). I don’t envy either party in this situation.
Having that shift is extremely hard on the body!
You natural body clock doesn’t work with his work schedule .
Having seen my brother go through this exact shift take a heavy toll on the body … when you don’t rest fully your body cannot heal as well.’knowing that atv8 am the rest of the world is up and moving
Garbage trucks driving by
School busses
Yards being mowed , sunlight peeking through ….
Daily movement in and around your home. Only being on this schedule a month is not even near how long it will take him to adjust even if he tries. Then the weekend - he can’t just change that schedule just because it’s the weekend - that make him even more exhausted!
You are going to have the adjust your schedule to accommodate him. You “ dinner” will be atb7am and your intimate time could be 8 pm with “ a great breakfast” to send him off!
It’s hard on you - but it’s even harder for him
Fact he tells you to kick him out speaks volumes. Hes no happy and hes to cowardly to say so. Actually dunno any one who sleeps for more than 7or 8 hours so no reason he shouldnt be up for a about 5 6ish, he just doesnt want to
Was your husband unemployed before this job and did you voice your opinion on him being out of work. Are you constantly asking him for things… get a job, do more around the house, spend time with you and the kids do more to provide for his family and fulfil your aspirations? Are you wanting him to be romantic. Your husband can only do so much put yourself in his shoes. Maybe he has become overwhelmed with all your requests. I know as a wife, mother and woman that you have so many responsibilities and demands on your time. Instead of focusing on the negative learn to appreciate your husband for all the things he does for his family. You could have a husband who won’t work prefers to spend his time in the pub gambling or with other women. He could be abusive or violent to be around. When you married it was for better or worse. If your marriage isn’t as you would like it instead of accusing of what he has failed to do to meet your expectations why not ask yourself if you are being fair and how you would feel if he said your words to you.
My husband is work 3rd Shift for 10 years and during those ten year all he wanted to do is sleep. Third shift is rough I’m both parties. I’m not trying to be the womanizer or the one that says the woman belongs in the kitchen however, my question is do you work as well? If not why then why is it his responsibility to come home and help you with housework? There’s been several times in my relationship due to health reasons or children that I was not able to work and because he went to work everyday to make sure we still had a home food and Power I did everything the night before after the kids went to bed so in the morning when he got home it was clean.
Out of bed 4 pm - get washed and ready 5pm
He can tidy up after dinner, put washing on 7 pm , walk dog/spend time with kids 9pm
Plenty time to do things
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At least he goes to work… So many people nowadays would rather have a handout
My baby girl! Please take care of yourself!
Oh no Angela that’s no good. Lucky Simon’s nice
I think as you get older u get less sleep