my heart is just broken yet again. my partner made a different Instagram account behind my back and only adding and following basically naked girls. He’s deployed right now and on one of his posts he wrote how he’s in that country for a few months and should hit him up. this isn’t the first time he’s done this too. I tried to communicate this to him and he got mad that I accuse him all the time and hasn’t spoken to me in 24 hours. Completely ignores my text and I just gave up texting him. I just hate feeling like I’m not enough to him. I hate the fact that I’m here supporting his decision on deployment and taking care of our child and he’s making a whole account just to talk to other girls. They’re not the one parenting alone and yet, he’s put so much effort to make the other account behind my back just so he can talk to other girls. I feel so disrespected and unappreciated. I know this is my fault for believing he had changed and still staying because I wanted to try for my baby. I know I allowed this to happen but it still hurts all the same. I know I need to end this because he hasn’t changed, refuses to seek help or counseling and my child doesn’t deserve to grow up in a toxic home. he’s only 1 now and doesn’t understand us fighting but later on he will and I don’t want to that to be his core childhood memory.Single moms who don’t have an impressive resume or haven’t finished college- how did you parent alone?
Hey lovely. This behaviour doesn’t change. Get out! I have done this dance before and it’s a dance that will leave you depleted and heartbroken.
Please find the strength to make the necessary changes to be happy. You deserve so much more.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband made an instagram account behind my back: Advice?
Hey lovely. This behaviour doesn’t change. Get out! I have done this dance before and it’s a dance that will leave you depleted and heartbroken.
Please find the strength to make the necessary changes to be happy. You deserve so much more.
Is this a husband or partner, if you don’t feel like your enough, get out and find someone who thinks your enough.
Do the same. 
they will never change. For example my Bf just disappeared. Am i mad. No. Ima do the same this Friday night. Give them a taste of their own damn medicine.
I’m not a mom, but I parented f/t by myself. I didn’t always have it figured out, but it always got figured out. You just do it. Don’t let that be a crutch to remain (and raise your child) in an unhealthy relationship
You are not the cause of his behavior. Nothing about you drove him to behave this way. It is not your fault. He will behave this way regardless of who is or isn’t in his life. Love yourself enough to get out, and never look back.
If you really believe he is cheating the military doesn’t tolerate that. Do what’s best for you and your child. It’s hard to get trust back after it’s already gone. Don’t lose yourself trying to be good enough for someone who isn’t good enough for you.
I would contact the person over his unit.
I would not be married to a man who does this!!
I have no advice on this but just wanted to reach out and tell you that this is not your fault. You wanted to try and he has failed to change. It is good to know when to leave as well xxx hoping all the best for the future for you
This really resonates with me.
6 years ago, my ex-husband was/is in the military and he cheated on me. This behavior you’re describing was a precursor to this. Anyway, I left with my 18 month old twins, moved back home. Got my old job back at a credit union, got my own place and now they’re 7 and I’ve since changed jobs and make a decent amount for someone without a college degree. It’s possible. You find an inner strength. You build a network of people/women just like you, and you lean on them for guidance.
Life is too short to be unhappy. You deserve to find your own happiness and have peace.
Girl have fun he will be home soon … I wouldn’t have said a word
You said it all in “my heart is just broken yet again”. Military doesn’t play, get all the screenshots you can.
I started out with an unimpressive resume and no college. Between child support, spousal support if applicable, a job, and hopefully family nearby, you will find a way to make it work.
Being broke and free is better than crying one more single tear over the garbage human being who just happened to father your son 
Girl you’re already doing it alone! Most of it anyways! If you aren’t working, find part time work. Do you have family that will watch your child? File for a divorce. He will have to pay you child support and probably alimony. And then finish college a little at a time. You’ll get good financial aid being a single mom. Take advantage of that, that’s what it’s there for! You got this. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
You do what you gatta do to be happy …
Well, you are kind of parenting alone ,stop trying to force a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, have some respect for your self and leave now that he is deploy ,stop trying to contact him and , file for a divorce and child / spouse support , finish your career and move on with your life .
I live in a military town and I can tell you that the most of them are just a bunch of cheaters
You’re wasting your time
Well, Honey, time to get out. Get you a job, start your classes back up. Make arrangements with your family or a friend for child care. Do what you have to do to get your future security jump-started. Yes, I know, it will be a bear to do. I know, I’ve done it. But it turned out to be worth it. I was able to work one job instead of two or three. No, I didn’t make any too much money. It was all spoken for before I got it. But my daughter and I pulled together and we made it. She had made a little money busing tables in a restaurant. She ponied some of it up to get our cable turned on. We had moved into a trailer park. You couldn’t get any TV reception without cable. I handled the trailer and bill deposits. It was tough and money was tight, but we made do. I picked up extra shifts when I needed to and if she wanted something special, she babysat and earned her own money. I know your baby is young yet. But it doesn’t sound like you and your partner are a good match. Good time to let him go, while your daughter is somewhat used to him being gone. I know your child isn’t old enough to get a job and help out. But you can always try to pick up an extra shift from someone having a birthday or anniversary or if you hear they have people coming in from out of town. That will help fill in the holes in your budget. I did it all the time. I would skip meals to stretch the food. It was all in a day’s mothering. No, you don’t have to stay in a toxic relationship. Get out now. You’ll be ok.
He would come home to an empty house and an empty bank account!!!
OP…… been there. Feel free to PM me
Just always always know 100% you are more then enough even if that means you are with the wrong person 
you deserve to be happy and your kiddo needs and deserves a happy mama even if that means you are single! Being a single mama isnt easy but you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and you do what you gotta do for your baby! Lean on any family or friends you have cause you will need them sooner or later even if that means his family! You got this mama everything you need to raise your baby is within you just dig deep
You roll out of bed and take it one day at a time. Take any opportunity you get to make yours and your childs life better. Just one foot in front of the other and don’t look back
You are parenting alone now - the other option is you won’t have him dictating your every thought and feeling. Get yourself organised, find out what your supports will be and prepare you move on without him.
First of all, it’s NOT your fault he’s a cheater, second you didn’t ALLOW this to happen.
Stop blaming yourself for your husband being a cheat.
You’re already doing it alone and deserve so much more! The military has a lot of support for spouses of soldiers. File for divorce screenshot proof of his infidelity and apply for medical and child support for your baby and alimony. Move close to family and friend support and do it all behind his back before he gets home from deployment. Find someone who respects you and treats you like an equal!
Been there hunny,I gave my ex about 4/5 chances after finding him talking to other girls. Leave his sorry ass,a relationship without respect is just not worth it. I never thought I’d trust again after an abusive relationship and then being cheated on in a further one but I have found my angel now and you will too one day x
I’m sorry hun.
If you’re child was in this predicament with their partner what would you tell them.
I’d tell mine to honor herself and leave.
With the military you will be able to get full custody, trickster, and child support.
Leave now. And take back your life there are tons of programs and scholarships to give you support
Why do woman always say i wanted to try for my kids OMG that does my head in don’t stay with someone because you have a kid or kids to them stop using your kids as an excuse to why your still with him you stayed because you wanted too, END OF STORY
I would show his superior. He can get into trouble for this. You need to CYA!! He won’t change.
Start your exit plan… start looking for work or school to get to where you need to be. May be hard but will be worth it. Find your happiness.
This is not your fault! If you have family, contact them and make arrangements to move. Single parenting isn’t easy but you and your child deserve better.
Smh move on and find another husband. That’s a no brainer 
Go to the jag about this behavior the military will not put up with this behavior. Divorce him.
I was a single mom of 3 at one point. It’s not easy but you can do it if this is what you choose. I say finish school or find a job that will support you and your child. I’m sorry you’re going through. Wishing you many blessings.
It’s 1000 times easier to parent alone than to parent in that environment.
Keep it as proof for divorce, take out money to save, freeze bank accounts, contact lawyer and either pack his shit or get you and baby out hun. You CAN DO THIS without him think about what you and baby deserve. It will hurt cry it out but you CAN do it mama start looking into things for yourself you can even start college courses if you want hes gone for a few months use it to your advantage so when you leave you have the advantage plus there are soooo many jobs you can get that pay good and from home right now.
Was waiting with our child for my fence, he came back married. Always was single mom they do what they want
Mama I left with only a highschool diploma in a brand new state where I had no one. You CAN do it I had a few crappy jobs 7/11 etc but then I found a company that paid for a 6 week CNA program and got into nursing after couple years I did another short term program became an EMT moved up that much more for me and my babies life definitely got more comfortable and now I’m graduating nursing school in a week I now have my own house and my daughter has an amazing step dad and a little sister we made together. Don’t ever think you can’t do it just make the first step and keep waking
Wash your hands now before suffering anymore just cut him out. No excuse for that is good enough
Then go on the account and blow him up screw that !! Defend your honor while he dishonorably defends wherever
Gather all the proof you can and take it to his superiors. And file for divorce and you will win. Your baby would rather see you alone and happy then together and miserable! I’m a child of divorced parents and it was the best thing for us kids instead of staying in a toxic environment for the sake of the kid.
Hit the road jack! He’s out!
Definitely leave, you are basically parenting alone now.
He has 0 respect for you,forgive him and he will know he can carry on doing it and get away with it, his a c,unt sorry but as much as it kills you,he will never ever change and its just disgusting what his doing ,it won’t stop at commenting or messaging he will if not yet meet up with girls respect yourself now and get out.His already cheating on you even if he hasn’t met up with anyone, don’t allow anyone to treat you this way ,no matter how much you love them.and don’t stay together just for the kids,trust me it doesn’t work.
Divorce. Why is this even a question? He’s trying to cheat on you? Fuck him. Goodbye.
It sounds like your husband might have a sex addiction. Consider attending S-Anon meetings. They’re for family and friends of sexaholics. Currently there are a lot of virtual meetings. It will give you a support group of non-judging people who have endured the same things.
How close are you to finishing college? One option is to work at Starbucks for some cash now and take advantage of their free partnership with Arizona State University (online) to finish your degree. You have housing for now and he’s deployed, so a divorce can’t go through until he’s stateside again.
Alternatively, many customer service jobs can be performed from home.
Best wishes and take care.
You’re single already and doing it.
You are basically parenting aline except it’s toxic. Why do these guys do this?
Since the whole COVID thing started, there are a lot of ACTUAL work from home options you could look into. Maybe take this opportunity while he is away to farther your education if need be. However you choose to do things, I hope it works out for you. Good luck 
You didn’t allow anything to happen. He chose to do this. Now, it’s your choice to stay and keep going through this(showing him you’ll keep accepting it) or you BELIEVE you deserve better and move t f on. Your child will rather a happy mom that a miserable one. He doesn’t have to know what dad did. Keep that between you and the father. He can be a c r a p p y spouse but good dad. Who’s to say y’all can’t co-parent well?
Defiantly leave , it will pay off in long run , you will be fine over time
The second time???
Please for the love of God. Find your self worth!
You deserve peace just as he does.
You don’t need college to get a great job today. Find that great job and be self sufficient, and then decide what to do. You’re young and have your entire life ahead of you. Your husband sounds very immature…and maybe not ready to settle down.
You can’t make him be a good/nice person and this is totally NOT your fault. You can do this. You have to, he’s left you no choice.
Hes showing a pattern of behavior…cut him loose you deserve better
Tbh it’s hard work I’ve been a single mom since my daughter was 2 and it was difficult the first two years but now Everything is fine and working out
Jag is for legal advice and wont get into civilian matters. Custody and divorce are civilian matters. Are you on a post/base? See if they have a divorce briefing. Jag can give some advice, but most likely won’t do much else. I have seen time and time again, commands backing their joes. If his crap doesn’t effect his job, command most likely won’t care. Check into mycaa, its 4 grand for you. Go to school. I have seen plenty of women be told that because the joe provided a house on post, they didn’t have to provide financial support. Find the number for family advocacy. FA is for the family, not Joe. They can help you, and point you in the right direction. Get the evidence together for the divorce. I dont recommend starting with him deployed. Command might try to block it. Dont let him talk you into anything about him having primary custody. Contact a lawyer, find our your rights. Make an exit plan, and follow it. His actions are not your fault. He is mad that his fool proof plan didnt work. You deserve better. Get better, heal from him, raise your baby, and you have always been more than enough.
It was alot of hard work honey and their dad is a deadbeat to the extreme hasn’t seen them or paid child support in many years. My parents helped and the few friends I had as well. All I can say is it’s exhausting but worth it and if I could do it you can as well, if you need a friend you can always message me.
Find a job, apply for childcare assistance and rely on yourself.
Blatant disrespect. Call your gynecologist office today. You need to be checked for sexually transmitted diseases.
Just end it and leave. Where is your self esteem
Yeah it’s time to go. You can do it on your own. Find good childcare, find a job and rely on yourself. You got this.
Oh honey, contact his command.
Classic narcissistic abuse. Cheating on you and making YOU feel responsible and bad for it. Leave. You can do better for yourself. I’m speaking from experience.
Let him do what he’d rather do. Level up and heal. You can do this
I’m a single mom of 4 who has been raising kids since I was a kid. My kids father is somewhere out there but no help here. I spent my life working and raising kids, school wasn’t an option for me. My kids are happy, healthy, and well adjusted. I can’t say that would be the case if I stayed with their father. I know that would be the case actually. School wasn’t in the cards for me but that doesn’t mean it’s not for you. If it’s important to you, you can make it happen. There are SO many programs out there for single parents who want to go to college and further their education. You can raise your kid on your own, and you can have a good life. The sooner you leave and gain your independence the sooner you will feel better and more confident.
Make a dummy account,fake pics,and catfish him.Use all interactions for court.Get him girl .
Report him to his CO.
military laws are different than civilian laws.
Or go “vent” to his buddies.
There are A LOT of people who would have his ass. Stepping out on you and your child.
Or… you can just drain his account and leave.
If he can’t respect your boundaries then give him the boot.
Contact his command.
l get paid over $167 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18410 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://amazingincome823.pages.dev/
He doesn’t respect you honey, throw the whole dude away.
First of all honey…NONE of this is “your” fault! You wanted to believe he was all-in with you. That’s a normal healthy desire. His lack of integrity….isn’t about you at all! Have enough self dignity and self regard to leave. Get yourself a really good therapist and make sure you have a support system. And figure out how to walk away with grace and dignity for yourself. You deserve someone that chooses you and continues to choose you every day. 
It’s no hardee than what your doing right now… YOU ARE DOING THIS ALONE, EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR DAY IS OF A SINGLE PARENT AT THIS EXACT MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE! Now that we can dump that question into the traah can, what do you have going on financially for yourself right now?? If he supports you then you have the right to use that money to make a self-support system for you to get out. Proof. Keep that proof. Once your ready, contact the superior, make the right calls, file what needs filed, and DON’T TEXT OR ANSWER YOUR PHONE just like he has, the only thing different, you owe him nothing at this point.
Military I assume? This behavior on his behalf is actually not just frowned upon but against their rules and regulations of behavior which makes it punishable. Js. The military will help with your situation even if you choose divorce. Look into it.
You make a fake account with half naked pictures and hit him up. See just how far he’ll go. And never tell him it’s really you cuz he’ll just say he knew it was you the whole time.
I hate that. It’s not your fault for thinking your adult husband would listen to u, and not make anymore fake social media accounts and stay faithful. 
Never depend solely on a mans support get out and do something to better your life so you can be self dependent.
Yeah he’s gaslighting you. You didn’t do anything wrong. That’s not ok! Run while you can and as fast. Been there done that they will break your soul.
First if you solidly think his command will do anything …. Lmfao they wont at all! Because they don’t give two craps about what you are going through they care about him and doing their job….
He will have to pay alimony since he is in the military and cheated. Call his CO. Adultery is not ok in the military.
No respect for you. Open your eyes while your still young💛
Sounds like with him gone a perfect time to pack his stuff, apply for separation and custody transfer things to your name that you need to and leave him. If he can be shady then so can you. Time to move on.
You’re already doing it alone. You won’t be doing anything more difficult. 
You got this. And anytime you find yourself thinking, “I may as well be a single mom” I hope you take that to heart and leave whatever isn’t working for you. You deserve a partner!
I get paid over $ 150 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 19776 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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You already are alone.sweetheart don’t waste your youth like I did.
It’s hard. I’m a single mom that didn’t finish college and don’t have a resume. I took a low income apartment to get something affordable to get me and my children out of the toxic relationship that was my marriage. I stress and struggle but we don’t live in a toxic environment anymore. If you get a low income apartment you can go to school if you want. There’s a lot of resources out there that will help single mothers build a life for themselves and their children. Talk to the department of human services and get on the waitlist for every low income apartment complex in your area…. Unless you have family to go to. If you have family to help you I recommend that first. But, not everyone has that. I don’t.
Good luck and well wishes
I went through something similar when my daughters father was deployed. Best advice? Get out. I stayed too long and wasted another year trying to “fix” it.
It’s been 9 years and looking back… I don’t know why I stayed and am so much better off having left.
Being a single parent is hard, but it’s not nearly as hard being with someone that doesn’t respect you day in and day out.
He wants to act single…so, let him be.
Leave while he is gone.
You get to be single too…and when he comes back… DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK
Leave him! You honestly have no idea what he’s doing being deployed and I bet you don’t wanna know. Do yourself and your kids a favor and leave.
First of all don’t ever think it’s your fault. It’s not. You are absolutely right though your child doesn’t deserve to grow up in a home where dad does not respect Mom. Start working on you. Find out about FASFA and what you need to do to get into school. If he’s in the military you should be able to get childcare etc. use those benefits all up while you have them.
Unfortunately this is CLASSIC for service members who are cheaters… it’s just a shame and dark cloud for service members who engage in poor behaviors… go to
LEGAL before you leave so you can get info on support. They will not help with divorce issues.
Make your own account
Just pick up any job you can to make ends meet. It will be exhausting. If you have good family or good friends you can count on, see if they can help with the child for transportation, or watch the child if possible when you have to work extra shifts. It can be done! You got this girl!
Going through the same situation now…
It’s never gonna get better and they’ll never change. I’m the stupid one for staying this long and believing in him. Currently separated and I’m finally gonna get a divorce
I was in this exact situation but not married and I got out. He hasn’t changed. He kept cheating while stationed all over and worst part while in Afghanistan he got secretly engaged. So long story short I did parenting on my own in a different country because I am Canadian. He got engaged to an American military woman and they had a baby never got married and broke up and he kept having random girl friends. Morale of the story you keep putting up with it and have your heart broken and your self worth shattered. Or you have the choice to pick yourself up and be a great role model for your child and move forward with your life. It won’t be easy at all. Single parenthood and especially at a young age sucks and requires a lot of sacrifices. I had to finish school and work it took great determination. Looking back my child is the reason I kept going and why I left. I wish you all the best. DM me if you need anything.
It’s not easy but ask yourself is this the life you want to live? What do you want out of life? What steps are you going to take to get there?
Wishing you peace, love and happiness.
Mine was making snapchats behind mine
Had one friend on it. He’s now dating that girl while I filed divorce and raising the kids alone
He’s not going to change. Leave.