I do everything in my power to make sure my husband i staken care of and has an easy life…i keep the house clean, pack his lunch, lay hsi clothes out, have dinner ready when he comes home and he seems to always be in a sour mood and never happy about anything that I do for him…at this point i dont even know what to do anymore…is there somethign wrong with me?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband never seems to be happy with me: Advice?
Fuck no. Problem isnt you. Its him. I have one at home now, 12 years later not much has changed. Then we look at ourselves like wtf for staying so long and being willing to do so much out of love alone… Let him go
Stop doing it and see then how he acts. Just tell him, if you don’t appreciate what I try to do for you then why should I do it? Some people don’t know what they have until they loose it 
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No, but he sounds very unappreciative!!!
Talk to him or stop
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Yes he was treated this way at home he feel like he is still at home
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I use to do all this turns out I was getting horn in my tail 
man don’t like good women they like bad women I think …
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Stop doing all that. He apparently is taking you for granted and very unappreciative of all you do for him!! Make him take care of himself since he doesn’t appreciate you doing it for him.
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The only thing you’re doing wrong is letting him take advantage of your good nature. Stop doing everything for awhile so he can remember how good he has it.
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No there’s something wrong with him
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Sounds like you’re talking in different love languages.
Some ppl are just not happy in themselves no matter what you do
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Treat him as a partner and not like your his mother
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There is nothing wrong with you, it’s him!
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Oh Please! The Man’s Just A Jerk Know the difference. Clearly if you’re doing all that for him then it’s not you.
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Its because your acting like a maid and not a wife. Its not about all the things you do for him. Its about anything and all he does to make you smile or laugh. If he doesn’t do it, value yourself and love yourself enough to walk away. Someone right is waiting for you to treat him like a king and you as his queen.
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He’s an unhappy person
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Why don’t you ask him? Not in an accusing way… Ask him and let him know you genuinely are curious. Let him know it’s important to you that he’s happy because clearly it is. Sometimes men are worried about something that has nothing to do with you but cope in ways where we as wives take it personal.
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Stop doing it and see if he notices then remind him your not his dang mom to appreciate it
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First off you are not his mom. Secondly what are you doing to take care of yourself? Dont let his identity become who you are. You are probably lost and need to find your magic again. Go out with friends and try not to worry about what he thinks.
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he’s not a child. he can get his own clothes ready. you are not his mum.
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Yes…your too good for him 
Just stop doing anything to please him, when he clearly don’t appreciate what you do. Instead, stop doing his lunches, clothes and anything else that is specifically for him… start looking after yourself and focus on what makes you get up every morning. Sometimes us women lose ourselves because we always take care of everyone else around us, we forget to look after ourselves in the process… start working out, going out with friends even just for coffees or lunch etc.
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Stop this second doing anything for him. Let the house and laundry go. Don’t cook. Don’t clean. Don’t pack his lunch. Sometimes they need their eyes opened.
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What does he do to make sure that you are taken care of and have an easy life? You sound more like his mother or his maid. He’s a grown man, not a child!
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Get rid of him . You’re wasting your good years on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
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Time to stop doing everything for him.
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I THINK YOU DO WAY TOO MUCH FOR HIM
Has he always been like this if not when did he change
He doesnt sound thrilled to be coming home to you every night
You arent his mommy so stop acting like it
Is he not capable of putting his own clothes out …geesh…
Try communicating and find out why he us frustrated
If no answers look through his phone
He doesnt appreciate you and you shouldnt feel like just a maid, cook
Maybe give him an ultimatum
Tell him stop the bitchin and if your not happy then leave
Stop letting him walk over you
Yes , there is actually something wrong with you , stop living your life trying to please him , that should not be your purpose, stop doing stuff for him , those kids of stuff on a relationship/ marriage should be reciprocal
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Yes you are doing too much for him your not his maid,back off alot of what you do,he’s taking you for granted
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Stop being his mother and just be his wife
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Stop being his servant sounds like you treat him like a child. "Laying his clothes out " WHY???
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Stop trying n see if he gives back to you other wise you deserve better. Unless there is some underlying issues he hasn’t told you about … good luck
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Have you tried talking to him. There could be a million reasons why he acting like that. Maybe something is bothering him. On the other hand You shouldn’t have to ask if something is wrong with you . Any man that makes you feel like that isn’t worth your time.
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Stop putting him first, take care of yourself, use the time you spend on doing things for him do for yourself. He may not feel the need to do anything you do it all for him.
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I would stop doing all of that. At this point he just expects it and sees it as something your supposed to be doing. Let him do all that on his own and see how much he has to lose
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Maybe you are just to good for him.
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Are you putting out? It’s the only thing that keeps my husband from walking around the house with his bottom lip dragging along the floor.
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I don’t know what gets into some men. They seem to get in these moods. Is everything ok in the bedroom? They seem to worry about that before everything else. If you’re trying your best there too, come right out and ask him what his issue is. Tell him he’s walking around with a chip on his shoulder the size of Mount Rushmore and you’re tired of it. You’re doing everything you can to make him happy. So what’s the deal?
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Are you his wife and partner or his mother.
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If he doesn’t appreciate your presence then allow him to appreciate your absence.
You are desperately trying to make him happy(which is not your job), while he seems to be making you so unhappy, not valued or respected.
Have you tried talking to him to tell him how you feel?
Usually people don’t change…
Best of luck, you deserve better.
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First ask him. Straight up. If he says nothing but continues with that mood then stop doing everything. He may need a reminder how much you do and that it is done by CHOICE. That HE can also be held responsible to do his own things like pick out his clothes and make his own meals and clean his own messes.
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Nothing wrong with you besides you married an asshole
I stopped reading at laying his clothes out… Is he disabled?
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Yes there is, what women in their right mind would lay their husbands clothes out as if he can’t do it himself? Are you his mother or his wife?
Take a step back, stop treating him like your son, go get a life of your own. Go out with friends, have the occasional girl night here or there, go find some hobbies, stop worrying about him, Then Watch him want you
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I would stop doing anything for him
If he doesn’t appreciate it, stop doing it all for him your his wife and equal not a slave
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Did you ask him what’s putting him in such a sour mood lately? Men are conditioned to “suck it up” and not show or talk about their emotions, but clearly something is bugging him and it’s probably not you.
Is he worried about his job? Is he being bullied or sabotaged at work? Is he worried about finances? Is his health or abilities in decline? Is he having a midlife crisis or is he depressed? Anxious? Why now? See if you can get him in therapy, and talk to his doctor about a depression screening.
Is he able to perform in the bedroom OK? Is he losing his hair? Men can be really insecure too. Just gotta find out what’s weighing on him.
If you’re suspicious he’s cheating and trying to alienate you, check bank and credit card statements and phone records, and if nothing seems amiss, just ask him point blank if he’s having an affair.
Individual and couples counseling are always a good idea. Have or cultivate the self esteem to be happy with yourself the way you are and know you’re doing a fabulous job of being a supportive spouse no matter how cranky he gets.
Go on strike, let him see what it’s like when you’re not doing everything for him… He needs to learn some appreciation for how blessed he is.
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Go make yourself (and kids if there are any) happy.
Stop doing all that he doesnt appreciate it,surely he wont mind if you dont do it and stop nagging him about it,act as if you dont care
You have spoiled him.
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I have lived like this for 13 years! I do all that plus work 55 hours and raise our 3 children. I finally woke up one day and decided I wasn’t going through this anymore. He don’t do much of anything for me and I am never good enough. Filing divorce and moving on. I wasted way to many years of my life. Stand up for yourself now…
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When they like this .be careful.its also like you annoying…he has a hidden agenda …
Yes your a doormat stop being the maid
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Not at all it’s your husband who has the problem.
It is not u! Please don’t let him do that…make u start questioning ur worth/value. U aren’t doing anything wrong hun. He needs to show some appreciation for all that u do AND reciprocate that. Honestly, as hard as I know it can be, u need to stop doing so much for him. He’ll either realize just how good he had it or you’ll realize that he’s just selfish & wanted someone to wait on him. Either way, it’ll help to give u a clearer picture of who he really is. If nothing changes…u have to decide if ur willing to live the rest of ur life this way. In the end, it’s up to u. U deserve appreciation & to not have a partner that causes u to question if ur good enough. Please take care of urself 
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Stop doing for him like a mom, get your own life. Enjoy
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Here’s one thing you can do if it makes you feel better go tattoo the word MUG on your forehead
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It’s not you it’s him he doesn’t appreciate you leave his ass and then he’ll know the difference do you
Don’t do anything for him anymore
Nothing wrong with you but something wrong with him
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Do you know about love languages? There are 5 different ones and everybody has their own love language. Actually everyone has 2 but like their primary and their secondary. Judging by what you do for him it sounds like your primary love language is acts of service (mine is too). But with the way he reacts to what you do for him I can tell that his is not. So you doing all these things for him is your way of showing love but he doesn’t feel loved that way bc to him that’s not what makes him feel loved. You should really look into it and figure out what his love languages are. The 5 are: Acts of service, physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation
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please tell me why you lay his clothes out for him? Is he disabled? If that is a n, you seem to be acting more like his mommy than a wife, Stop being his personal maid & be a wife, You also didn’t’ say how old you guys are or how long you are married. Again, stop acting like his mommy or a maid, Making dinner is fine & getting his lunch ready, is OK to a point, But if he isn’t happy & he won’t say why, then stop doing everything for him & start doing things that make you happy
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Stop doing all those things he will notice real fast
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Do you take care of you? What the hell is wrong with him? You have great value he does not see. Make him value your ABSENCE!
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There is something wrong with your husband! He is ungrateful! He doesn’t deserve you! I pray your life gets better 
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He isn’t realising all the things you do for him sit down with him and have a conversation. Sometimes it’s easy to overlook the good some people do for us. Literally sit him down look him straight in the eyes and say “hey babe …. Are you ok you have been really down lately and I’m trying really hard to make you happier but it’s wearing me out “
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Maybe stop being his mom.
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Have you tried talking with your husband? If he’s constantly grumpy there could be an underlying issue. He could be stressed at work, depressed, it could be anything.
And as mentioned above, learning each love languages!
There is nothing wrong with what you do for your husband, if you choose to do it. I am a stay at home mom, and do it all to! Sometimes the high stress job causes my husband to always be on edge and more grumpy.
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No you are fine …just stop doing all these things for him.
He isn’t a child don’t treat him like one.
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Not you, it’s your husband. You deserve better.
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Nothing wrong with you at all, however hubby seems a bit incompetent and very ungreatful. Theres no reason a grown ass man cant locate his own clothes, cook his own meals and clean his own mess.
Light a fire under his ass and tell him to quit being an asshole
Stop being his mommy and be his wife. He is capable of doing things for himself. He’s grown. You’re raising him. Go out and enjoy life a little bit.
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Stop doing that stuff for him, let him do his own things or he’ll never be able to function like an adult. Do not baby him like his mom. Do what you want to do for yourself. If you like cleaning and keeping a tidy place, go for it. Don’t like picking after his shit? Leave it. Don’t make him lunches, he’s not in elementary school, he’s a grown ass man. Unless you enjoy and want to do it. Let him be a proper adult.
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Not you. There’s something wrong with him.
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Maybe stop laying clothes out for him and certain other things I get cooking meals doing laundry .but also check on him see if things our OK.
Been there done that in a past relationship. You can go to the ends of the earth for someone and still not be appreciated.
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First off, you are his wife…not his mom. Second: talk to him, not us. Marriage issues involves two people solving it together.
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Stop doing it…stop doing everything. I bet he’ll notice what you do then and change his attitude…or he’ll show you his true colors. Either way…just stop
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Have you talked to him? Maybe it’s not you at all
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Your not responsible for someone else’s happiness or actions. You make YOU happy. Live YOUR best life. Be kind and caring and if he is mature enough and mentally healthy enough to be on that journey with you then cool! If not he should see a therapist and work on his own happiness. Ain’t you, sis!!!
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If he is that ungrateful… you are doing to much for him… start doing you, and taking care of you!
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You can did everything for him including wipe his butt but that doesn’t mean you two are communicating clearly and effectively. Maybe he’s upset bc he’s not allowed to choose his clothes?!? Idk it would make me upset and I would feel like my partner was trying to parent me. It’s possible it’s just stress from work, bills, whatever rugswept stuff you guys going on. And nothing to do with alll the stuff your doing.
No there is nothing wrong with you except that you are looking to blame yourself for his behavior. Has it always been this way or something new? Is he a narcissist (Kinda sounds like it)? If new it could be anxiety/depression?
ETA- I read the other comments and never saw the word narcissist come up, but I’m willing to bet that’s the case. Look into it 
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He sounds ungrateful
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So stop and watch his like turn upside down that’s what I did and now he’s struggling with simple things 
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Wait. Maybe he is depressed Maybe needs to speak to a Dr. I mean cut back on somethings. Lunch is ok but seriously he can get dressed himself!
Talk to him and Directly ask him. Men go through Depression too. Good Luck
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Stop doing it. Let him see how much you do and how much easier you make his life.
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It’s like living with a child. Although you don’t say whether you have children together or if you work. If you don’t have children sounds like there is no reason for you not to work, if that’s the case maybe he’s bitter.
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He is not your child. Treat him like an adult. Let him take care of himself if he doesn’t appreciate what u do for him
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Do less, and see how that works!
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Leave… He isn’t going to ever be happy…
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Sounds like a spoiled, ungrateful brat to me stop doing for him and maybe he will grow up but I doubt it.
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