Please, no bashing. I need advice on what to do. My husband and I have been together five years; we have a soon-to-be three-year-old and a four-month-old. My MIL recently had a heart attack three months ago, and I have been taking care of her for the past two months since she got her triple bypass. My husband works a lot and is gone from 530am-830pm almost every day; when it comes to weekends, he’s always out at his farm or drinking beer with his friends, mind you he had me not return to work after my maternity leave, so someone could take care of his mom. His being gone all the time and not spending any time with his kids and me taking care of his mom is taking a toll on our marriage. I’m so lost on what to do.
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Tell him man the fuck up and help take care of HIS MOM and HIS CHILD. Or divorce. Simple as that! Ur relationship is in big trouble if it’s like this after only 5yrs.
After 3 months the mom should b very capable of looking after herself ? Obviously that depends on age. My mom at 73 was great after one week after her triple bypass , and completely great after a month . How far does ur husband work cause 5.30 till 8.30 I’d a ridiculously long day , then he doesn’t spend time with u on any weekends either ? Sorry but for me , he’d have to go
Obviously there is more to this hence the questions , but u know what u have to do for u amd ur situation and only u x
You sound like a free caregiver… I would leave. Been there, done that. Sadly it took me 7 years. But I’m free as a bird now.
I think the most helpful tip. Is talk to him about it! And see if he can understand you!
I pray for you maybe see if you can get a agency to help care for the mother some of the time
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I think if you’re taking care of his mom he can stop going out with the boys. I’m sure he needs a break but you do double. Have a talk.
Similar situation here. I will tell u if u love that man bare with him. If he is a good man stick it out. If he is a good father keep being a good wife. One day time will slow down for him and he’ll see what u have done to build the life you guys share and things will be in your favor. Men deal with things in a completely different way than women do and you’ll reap the benefits of your strong family u helped hold together even when u thought u would break… God is good.
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Hang tight your doing everything in your Power to be of assistance to your MIL! Men have such a funny way of expressing there gratitude, i would kindly bring it up to him not argumentatively but as a way to break the ice!!
You deserve alittle Mothers Day Appreciation!
Goodluck an Keep pressing forward this too shall pass
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Just voice it to him babe and maybe go back to work if possible. You need your time away too and to feel like a human. Look into having someone come in to take care of her on the days you can’t. Pretty inconsiderate on his part but I don’t know you guys soooo…
Communication is always key. You have my thoughts as I know how absence hurts and staying strong drains your mental health x
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I would try to talk to him and tell him how you feel.
Sounds to me you may want to rethink being married
I’m sorry if wanted to spend time with you and his children he would period
He has 2 kids with you. the love is there. he knows you are on a strain taking care of the mom. get a sitter. go out with him.
one night. talk to him. it will help understand
Talk to him first. Dont forget, you are doing Gods work taking care of children and elderly or sick full time.
I’ll pray for you.
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Make it a point to have a date night! Even if it’s one day a month. Hire someone to watch the kids so you both can have one on one time. Reignite that spark!
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He don’t have siblings to take care of his mom? I surely hope not while they putting the extra work on you. Having a 4 month and 2 year old is stressful enough.
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So sorry to hear this. Imo, your husband likely doesn’t realize what he’s put on you. I would try discussing it with him and explaining how you are feeling. From a non confrontational angle.
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The only one you should talk to about this is the one in the marriage with you.
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You need to have a sit down talk with just you and him and tell him your thoughts and feelings. Hopefully things will get better
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Tell him and get some relief care, you’re going to burn out quickly and with two younger children, it will be to their detriment. Giving yourself some time just for you and together should be of enormous help!! Please communicate with your husband and get others involved in caring for her. It’s a lot of work! Been there myself.
Tell him what you’re telling Facebook. Communication. Is. Key.
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Been married 20 years… communication is crucial… please just remember no matter what… you are worthy and you deserve respect no matter what… no matter the outcome… you are the glue
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Yup, talk to him 
men are funny that way, he may not even realize what’s going on inside of you.
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There is so much positivity to your post … I would explain how I was feeling and ask for a date night … I wouldn’t say all that about what he isn’t doing. I would thank him for his current contribution to the situation and request 4 days a month dedicated to the relationship … forever is a long time your always going to have to make adjustments so that you can both be comfortable. His mother’s health is a scary situation … I’m sure he is having some unfamiliar feelings about that
It’s about 6 to 12 weeks to recover from triple by pass, is he very controlling? Not judging just asking, sounds like you could use a break! When it comes to taking care of sick family members in our own homes -the caretaker’s (you) health is actually 26% worse than family members who are not taking care of others. Maybe you could ask him to give you a day off on the weekends, he works a lot but you also need to stay healthy mentally and physically too. Maybe the two of you could go out to dinner alone- could someone watch her for a shot time? Isn’t she better yet?
The only thing you can do is talk to him, and he’ll either take your feelings into consideration and change his free-time activities or he won’t and will let your marriage decline. You can’t control his actions, you can only control how you react.
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when did this become an advise column
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The post belongs on the other site you are posting on, Fed Up With Your Lies and Cheating. I’m done here
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Communication is key
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Communication. Tell him this. Try and set a certain time each day,week,or month ( which ever you can set time for each other) but communicate is the key. If you can’t say this to his face without it blowing up to a fight. Wrote it to him in a letter. I have been there took care of mil too. It cause problem where he wasn’t around, there are programs covered by insurance to help with mil check into those to give you a break sometimes.
I’m sure since it is taking a toll on the marriage that it has been talked about and has not changed. My advice is to write out everything you do in a day and leave one day on the weekend before he does. He will have no choice but to step up and maybe you’ll get some gratitude or help. Put him in your shoes for a day or two. Let him flounder.
Tell him to step up n take care of his mother
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Wow. Have you tried talking about it? You have your hands full and no free time. Definitely not a fair situation. And y’all need time together. Even Netflix nights. Good luck. Hope it gets better.
Leave…
He’s not there anyway
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Communication is key, tell him how you are feeling. He will either step up and offer help or say NO.
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Your better off being single
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Sit down and talk, you have to work on it together. If you don’t bring it up to him he won’t know it’s bothering you and it’s gonna continue to happen. If he wants to fix your marriage he’s gotta be willing to do the work. Good luck
So sorry to hear this but this was me 10 years ago. I worked, provided for the family, cooked and had to take care of kids. I talked to him first and it changed for a bit but then back to the same. I finally just gave up and couldn’t do it anymore. I felt if I was going to do for the family I might as well be single. It was not an easy decision it took time for me to figure it out but I had to leave him/ or kick him out. Not saying this is for you but you need to evaluate everything. But I think someone said communication is the key. All you can do is try. Hope things get better, it’s not easy. Trust me!
Sorry to hear this. I feel your story. You are going to have tell him HE needs to do it when he is home. I have been your shoes.
Maybe he feels like he is doing nothing wrong because, he hasn’t been told otherwise. A man will do as he feels he is allowed to do. If he doesn’t think you have a problem with it, then he doesn’t see it as a problem. I am sure if he truly knew how you felt, it would be a different story. Men don’t respond to a lot of mouth or nagging. If they hear a lot of mouth, they would rather spend their time elsewhere. They will however respond to a calm concerning wife.
What is this page? Bc it says Nails 2 Die For but all I see on here is everything but nails 
I know my ex-boyfriend left me for his brother’s girlfriend that hurt me so bad
I’d tell him. That’s his mother. You need a break. It sounds like he’s taking advantage
Talk to him is a big responsibility to take care ur home and his mother he should consider that u are doing him a big favor that’s so sad 
at least one day a week for you and the kids wouldn’t hurt no one so seat down don’t be scared talk to him and explain how you feel and if he is not willing to change is on you the next step ok GOOD LUCK!!! GOOD WOMENS MATTER!!!
Can’t you get a caregiver come in
Communication, tell him what you feel just like you did us. Sit him down and let him know this is a very serious talk. Set your goals together. If communication and common goals fails then leave. You deserve to the first burner not the back one.
My husband’s been a truck driver for the past 20 years and I like my alone time alot but I’m use to the him being gone and only home a few times a year but my kids are grown and when my mother in law was alive I took care of her but we got along Good Luck
Maybe he’s tired of taking care of his mother it’s warning him out can y’all get a caregiver coming and help if she got insurance because you can get a caregiver
If i were u I’d have him take care of his mom on the weekends and u go drink with ur friends hes being selfish and taking advantage cuz he knows you will do it all.
Remember its his mother not yours.
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Does his mom have Medicare or Medicaid, it should allow for a provider… What other issues does she have that would she need someone to look after her… As far as the weekends we all need to chill and relax but you need him!
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You need to take care of yourself first and for most. FIRST!!!
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I’m young but being a retired sugar baby you learn a lot about men. It seems like it’s taking a toll on both of you but y’all are facing it in different ways, maybe you should tell him and at least go on a date to feel those butterfly’s again a man can never forget who he fell in love with
Talk to him and instead of drinking with his friends he needs to spend time with his kids and his mother.
This page isn’t even about nails. Hahaha tards
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Talk to him. Men tend to be oblivious if you dont speak up. They have no clue.
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Pack up the kids N leave
I’d tell him she’s his momma and he needs to take care of her.
Are the bills getting paid?
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Invite him for dinner.
Go out to dinner and have a heart to heart talk with him… it’s HIS mother and he should be helping out when possible
I would be honest with him about how it’s making you feel. Let him know you’re feeling neglected.
My boyfriend works a hell of a lot too. We go by this rule I heard.
Every 2 weeks - Date night
Every 2 months - Weekend away
Every 2 years - Week trip
It sounds silly, but it’s simple and keeps us honest about spending alone time together.
Good luck babe!
I’m sorry you are going through this. I just don’t understand how a man doesn’t realize his wife is not okay. 
Praying for you love!
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I think you stop bitching cause he’s paying your bills. He’s probably stressed too.
Tell him you’re going back to work. He works all day and night, he should have enough to cover daycare and a Healthcare provider for his mother.
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Communicate with him abt everything. Its his mom not urs its not ur responsibility to care for her the kids are both of urs and its not just ur responsibility to care for them. U guys are a couple too so u still need time with each other. Talk to him and if tht doesnt work and he doesnt wanna compromise or anything pack up and leave theres no fixing it if both people dont wanna work together. If u wanna go back to work then go back to work hes working all those hours he should have enough to pay for his mom to be taken care of and with both of u working there should be enough for child care. If u dont wanna go back to work and just need quality time with him or time for urself dont give him the choice to decline it its not can u watch the kids and ur mom while i go out its ur watching the kids and ur mom while i go out. Men often think parenting is an option for them bc if they say no they know mom has it dont give him the option to say no
Have you said these things to him?
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So go with him.tag along communication is key have u voiced ur issues on this things put responsabilidty on him if not then leave
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If you’ve told him this is how you’re feeling and he hasn’t changed then leave cuz you can do better. If you’re gonna do it alone you might as well actually do it alone🤷🏻♀️ but if you haven’t told him then you should, no one can read minds and if you don’t address it then how is he supposed to fix it?
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If he wanted to make time for you he would. Don’t settle. Very nice of you to take care of someone regardless who she is to u. I would do the same🖤 wishing u a happy semi stress free life
This situation is clear. He is stressed out about the situation you all are in. His way to deal with it is to stay away from it. You need to sit down and have a talk with him. He needs to hear you say what’s bothering you. And he needs to probably tell you what’s bothering him so you can get back to normal. If he blows you off, tell him what you need from him, and tell him what will happen if things do not improve. Leaving before doing this is the easy way out and your not holding ip your end of the marriage.
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Tough call. For some reason men think are stronger than we are, physically & emotionally… Having experience, speak up. Tell him what;'s up. Hope he listens & genuinely cares to make the effort. Good luck.
You need to tell him how you feel . Hall come to a compromise. If you both value the marriage . It’s easy .
U need to stop taking care of his mom…throw it back in his lap and let him figure it out.the man doesn’t care about you.u need to get back to work save every penny u can.yoyr gonna need it
Seems to me you have more problems that anyone. I think you page is just for pity. And you have nothing to do with nails so I’m deleting you.
I thought this was a group for nail art and cool artificial nails? There are relationship groups. Guess I’ll see my way to the door. Take care y’all.
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Maybe he doesn’t realize what a toll this is taking on you talk to him and go have a few beers with him from time to time as you need to get out to and that can be a time of bonding with your husband again for he’s working very hard to support his family and then relax when he can as he’s most likely exhausted all the time to so just go with him from time to time and see how that goes
Tell him he needs to hire a nurse for his mom because you are ready to return to work.
Get a babysitter for your kids &
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Kick him out start over
When did this page become dear Abby? And not about nails? They need to rename this page now
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I suggest you talk to him and express what you need. Be precise. I need x hours of alone time and x hours of family time. Ask him what he needs and try to find a way to work it out. You can’t change other people but you can bring it to their attention. If you manage a compromise, great. If not, you can live with it as it is knowing it’s your conscious choice and not his fault. If you cant accept it, you can move on without him. It’s not an easy decision. It’s not an easy situation.
Tell him you and the kids miss him and I’m glad your having some fun with your buddies cuz you work hard for us. We love and miss you sometimes when your gone from home so much and your Mom needs you too.
Let someone else tend to his mom you go back to work part time and on weekends go to farm with him as a family and you need to rotate girls/guys nite every other weekend .
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Why are you taking care of his mom by yourself?
You have to take care of your kids. He needs to help somewhere
I don’t think he appreciates you and I think that he needs to you need to take care of yourself and your kids and put you guys first and if he’s out drinking with his friends that’s very disrespectful and if you’re young enough to quit the marriage I’m sure you could find a man that would take care of you and your children very well love you like you give you the respect that you’re supposed to have sounds like you’re a very good woman
Maybe go get your nails done and post that since that’s what this should be about… secondly don’t ask random strangers for life advice
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Talk to him and if that don’t work… ask for a divorce!!
This has NOTHING to do with nails though?!
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You need to sit him down and have a conversation with him… No yelling or arguing… Just tell him that you understand he works really hard to provide for your family and you appreciate everything he does for you … and you don’t mind him spending time at the farm or hanging with friends to unwind… But that you and the kids need some of his free time as well… And that sometimes you need a little break to have some alone time…or time for yourself… And if he gets upset about this then he doesn’t appreciate what YOU do for your family and it may be time to move on… Also I know you may not want to hear this…but… if he is spending A LOT of time away and y’all don’t really talk much and he FEELS really distant…9 times out of 10 he is seeing someone else … I’m not telling you to go accusing him because I could be wrong but just kinda look for other signs … and be careful… Or he could just be under A LOT of stress and withdrawing himself may be his coping mechanism…
How about he take care of HIS mom on weekends to give you some kind of a break. Sounds like your being taken advantage of.
Actually this is great. I’m just going to say it. Saw so many comments about “this is for nails…Not relationships. Really. Just stop. You dont know a person’s situation. Say someone scrolling on here is with a significant other who is controlling, or physically, verbally, mentally, or financially abusive. Usually the abuser monitors their every move. Stalks their social media to see groups they are in, or friends they have on social media. By chance they glance over and see them commenting or reading in a group calles"nails to die for.” They can go see it’s about nails, but really what if they can literally ask for help if they needed it. Who cares if someone needs relationship advice. We shouldn’t be afraid to reach out for help in any form!!! In an emergency or an abusive situation a person should be able to post their address or phone number asking someone, anyone in the thread to call for help for them. Because when a person Is being abused most of the time they cant just make a call. I’m just saying this could literally save a life or children’s lives if someone is trying to leave an abuser. We should lift each other up. And normalize asking for help anywhere on social media. Haven’t we all been through enough??
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And here I thought this had gone back to being a nails page 
Either leave or hope it gets better theirs no In between with these men they’re inconsiderate so if you talk to him it’ll go over his head.
U have to sit him down for a nice honest conversation
There is a lot of good advice coming from all these folks.
Talk to him about how you feel .
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Sit him down & discuss. Go back to work. Tell him to help with his Mom and/or hire a caregiver 
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Definitely sit down with him and talk to him. Communication is number 1 in any relationship.
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