Best to check him out and reason for split. Something is not right for your safety.
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You need to learn to communicate with each other instead of others. Suggest couples therapy to him. Twenty years of marriage is a long time to just walk away from. I would suggest counseling and if he refuses, then you know where your marriage stands
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Very Strange. Sounds like an agenda. Easy way out once you have your own place!! So very sorry for you.
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Iām sorry that youāre going through this and wish you all the best. The Communication issue you thought had gotten better hasnāt. It sounds like itās time for couples and individual consulting. But as mentioned above get your finances in order and hope for the best but be prepared for the worse.
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If he acquired this apartment and youāre married isnāt it also considered yours?
Iād check and see if you can get a key and access!
Iām sorry this is hurtful.
I hope the best for you.
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Clearly he checked out if he got another place. Donāt use his dad as an excuse for his actions. You 100% he isnāt seeing someone else? This is a drastic move.
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Donāt jump to conclusions. Heās never given you a reason to doubt him before so donāt listen to that. maybe heās going through something within himself and doesnāt know how to fix it yet. What doesnāt come out in the wash, will come out in the rinse. Good luck to you both
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Red flag. Talk to a lawyer and file for divorce. 25 min is not far. Red flags girl. Get rid of him
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If he moved out then u need to move on
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So much bad advice here. Give him his space. You guys love eachother? He probably has some stuff heās going through. Give him space when he contacts you love him like before. If he stops calling donāt call back. It takes time. āGet a lawyerā advice is pre mature
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Love yourself more 
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Sounds like he is trying to leave but maybe slowly
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He already has a life putside and put everything in place to be at this point. His intentions are clear but itās up to you to see it for what it is. Accept it and move on! Dont uave hope while heās living his life. Me: I would already have my peoples watching his movesā¦ is a whole Undercover investigation will start and I will gather thr proof needed to ensure my divorce runs smoothly but thatās just me!
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My boss did this to his wife. It turns out he and our office manager were having a long running affair. They would be late for the morning appointments, afternoon appointments after lunch while they were sneaking off to the house they rented behind their spousesā backs. It was disaster for our office and for the wife and kids of course/husband. We had to hear all about it. Their pastor came in our office. She was fired and lost her husband. It was a fricking mess. Run to a lawyer immediately. Protect your financial assets and your house.
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You. Need to leave the dictator. Thereās another woman in the picture
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Iām sorry to say but he is having a affair
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I know a couple of couples who live separately, but their marriage is even stronger than it was when they lived together. But you need to get him to communicate and be honest with you to find out what his intentions are and what he wants. Maybe heās just going through some shit and needs space. I WISH I had the option to have my own place that I could run off to for the weeks my bipolar downs take the life out of me.
It sounds like someone else is there for himā¦ unfortunately
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File for divorce, then find a younger hotter man and FLAUNT 
HIM
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Sorry his step dad isnāt doing well but thatās where you come in for supportā¦sorry I think thatās an excuse
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I think it may be more than his ā step dad ā
Sounds like heās stepping out .
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First of all stop with trying to make excuses for him. He probably does love you, that just doesnāt disappear, but sounds like heās not āin loveā with you anymore and there is a difference. You canāt make someone love you. As tough as it may be to swallow, heās made his decision so itās time for you to move on too. Now you can sit around and do the woulda, shoulda, coulda thing and drive yourself nuts or you can put on your big girl panties and do you. He made his decision 
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Forget the step-dad ātough timeā bullshit excuse!!! Itās called a midlife crisis and a younger woman with lots of estrogen!!! If he really needed space he wouldāve told you before getting hand so you wouldnāt be blindsided. Get a consult with an attorney who specializes in family and divorce for some legal adviceā¦
Take care of yourself. Find a therapist to talk to.
If he wants āspaceā, give it to him.
But do not sit around waiting for him to call.
Go out with friends. If you donāt have any, join a gym, exercise or dance class and make some.
Develop and invest in YOURSELF. Pursue a hobby, volunteer, or take a class at the community college.
And when and if he does start calling and wanting to come back around, DONāT reconcile right away or nothing will have changed or been resolved.
Perhaps go to marriage counselling together and give that a good 6 months trial FIRST.
Actually first, you might want to consult a lawyer, make an accounting of all your assetts, and move half your liquid cash into a separate account.
Should you guys reconcile, you can always merge it back. But itās better to make yourself safe and financially secure, than sorry.
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We as wives need to stop making excuses for our husbands when they do this trifling mess, Iām sure in the 20 years youāve been together you didnāt go get your own placeā¦. So obviously he has moved on Sis and Iām so sorry but maybe you need to put YOU FIRST this time.
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Donāt always assume the worst. Try sitting down with him and taking to him about this. Look him dead in the eye and be like be honest with me about the situation . Why did you feel as though you had to go and do this. If he canāt give you a straight answer or be honest with you then tell him ādonāt let the door hit ya where the good lord split yaā Best of luck. Hope things work out.
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Why would you push to get back together with someone who left you? He doesnāt want you. Move on.
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My ex was the same exact way he ended up getting a place for his men. He may not be with a female he might be with a man 
ļæ¼
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He cheating on you and needs a place close to work so he can bone the bitch. Sorry to be so straight out with you but I think you need to see things for what it is.
I suggest moving on, he likely isnāt gonna be with you. He got all his ducks in a row before telling you. That means he has thought hard and made up his mind. Sorry this is happening. It probably has very little, if anything, to do with his stepdad either.
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Divorce, he is cheating
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Tell him good riddance
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Leave his sorry ass and stop making excuses for his cheating behavior. Open your eyes.
Sounds like he has had this planned out for awhile unfortunately and has already moved on. I would tell him he needs to get out now even if his place is not ready yet he can go stay in a hotel. Obviously he does not love or respect you anymore if he can just move on like that without even talking to you. File for a divorce and child support asap. You deserve better.
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It sounds like youāre making excuses for him. Stop doing that. Heās telling you that you arenāt important to him (with his actions). Heās going to walk all over you as long as you let him.
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Iām sorry but it sounds like someone else is helping him through this.
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Is he giving you a key?
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Gosh, if it was me , I would get a legal representative. This situation has red flags that shouldnāt be there, not if heās being honest and trustworthy with you.
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Heās CHEATING sis, why else does he need his own place??? File for a DIVORCE
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This is not adding up for me. Lots of red flags. 25 mins away and he needs something closer? Something more is going on hereā¦
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Iād walk in that new place of his, because guess what? Youāre married! Itās yours too! Iād be like āsooo, how we gonna decorate this? Maybe put a gallow here, a torcher chamber there. Yes, this will be an awesome place for your body to be discovered.ā 
Girl, if you want it to work then put your foot down. If he doesnāt like it, then go straight to your nearest courthouse and file for a divorce. If youāre not working (depending on the state in which you live) get his ass for alimony.
You know as well as he does that this isnāt how a marriage works. Itās time for you to tell him how itās gonna be, not the other way around.
Heās already left. You are the only person left in this relationship.
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empty the bank accounts before he does. give him a surprise visit and you can find out the truth
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If he just went out and got him an apartment without you knowing then he must have some money on the side that you didnāt know about as well to do this so he is hiding multiple things from you. If he wanted to leave you why he wouldnāt have a talk with you about it I mean he did you dirty you deserve better than that totally.
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I would pack his s#-& up in a box and change the locks!!!
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You need to get yourself legally protected, get tested, get a therapist. You got this! Take all of you financial documents and personal documents and put them in a safe place outside of the home. If he decides to come back at some point donāt do it. He needs to earn this relationship back after he tanked it.
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My ex partner did this 6 months later I found out he was cheating
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He has moved on. You file for divorce before he does and take him for what he is worth before he leaves you high and dry. he definitely has someone else.
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Wake upā¦ He has someone else.
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Obviously heās had a plan and set it in motion long ago
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Sounds to me like a midlife crisis. Either he has someone else or heās looking for a new adventure. Men too go thru menopause. Maybe a little couple therapy would help. So you are going thru that. You must feel betrayed and hurt. Talk to him about it. Yāall need to learn to communicate. Now. Before itās too late. Who knows. It may be already.
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If he got an apartment, itās obvious thereās a woman in the background somewhere or he just wants to live a life as a bachelor.
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So many red flag, I would just leave and be done with it.
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Iād see a lawyer. Huge red flags for me! Done this without telling you, high possibility heās cheating
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The one he been talking to about yāall relationship is the one heās w/! Js
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I gave up almost 10 years being in a similar situation minus the step dad issue. Definitely put yourself first and understand that love isnāt always all you need. It seems heās mentally checked out and now well, physically also. *Hugs
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He is telling you that heās done with marriage. He has met someone, he thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Little does he know that itās not! Sorry for him. He doesnāt realize it is a trap. Get yourself together , and go on with your life. Find someone that worships you
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You need to find yourself a lawyer and get to filing for divorce and custody of children. He has someone else and is creating a barrier between you and him so he can do as he wishes. The only time this works is if the couple lives in both sides of a duplex or literally right next to each other bc it is done but done in the sense that your partner is only a couple steps away.
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Let him go!! Literally.
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Dont be stupid! He has someine else!
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ā¦.Iām so aggravated seeing the same post with minimal differences.
- why are you allowing anyone to treat you like a doormat?
- why havenāt you done anything about his lack of communication?
Either way: wise up. He had a plan in place and has been discussing leaving you with whomever else heās talking to which is most likely someone heās sleeping with. If heās found a new place then you need to realize a few things and get on the ball tonsecueinf your independence:
- He didnāt give 2
about you if he did this behind your back. - He didnāt care enough about his children to have adult conversations about how this would affect them before now.
- Heās most likely cheating on you and have been for a bit.
- You need to go file for custody and support immediately on the grounds of abandonment if heās moving out.
- Hire a lawyer immediately to help you get everything straightened out.
- Set up therapy for you immediately. Not only to help you process what a dirtbag he is for throwing this in your face like this but for his previous controlling behavior. Oh and to help you realize YOU DESERVE better than to be treated like trash like this.
Im going to say this. Please stop accepting love as a mitigating factor to disrespectful, selfish and a$$hole behaviors.
Get a lawyer. File for divorce now, donāt wait. He definitely has someone else and this is a BIG sign/red flag NOT to ignore.
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Heās got a girlfriend and wants you out of the way to see if itās going to going to work with her. And if it doesnāt he still has you waiting for him as a 2nd option.
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Let him go. I was married for almost 30 yrsā¦ he took off for Florida- secretly had bought a trailer. Was served with divorce papers before he got in the road!
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Heās making sure his other relationship works out first. Get rid of him.
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A man doesnāt go to this extent without a motive. Donāt be blindsided again, take care of you and your children. Take the steps you need to put you and your children first. Best wishes.
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Love him enough to let him go. Apparently he has made his decision.
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Bullshit heās got a new woman trust me been there get a lawyer now serve him with papers
There is no more āhadā with any problems. The problems are currently getting ready to wreck your world. Get your plan together sis YESTERDAY!!!
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Nah he is wanting his own place so he can live single or play house with someone else. Divorce him.
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Be patient. Go to counseling for you Ask him to tell you about it not direct ask
Also about his step dad
He already said he wants to be alone. Maybe heās trying to let you down softly because he cares still and doesnāt want to hurt you but maybe heās grown out of love with you. Iām sorry thatās just my view. Good luck . Put yourself first this time
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Heās met someone else, let him go and call a lawyer.
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Thatās sad Iām so sorry ur going threw this 20 yrs is a long time to just get up and walk away from
Maybe he just needed time and space to figure out what happening to him try and stay positive hopefully heās not cheating prayers sent ur way 
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Every marriage have problems but you donāt go and have a place of your own so they can have some space. Thatās a no no. Heās been planning that for awhile, i hate divorce but that is his way of saying heās done. And he is already have someone else comforting him at his new place . Iām sorry youāre going through this . Sending prayers and hugs for you
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Lady open your eyes. Get to a lawyer and protect yourself. He got another place without telling you. He doesnāt want to be with you.
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Going through anything does not give someone the right away to get a whole other house without his family. He aināt doing nothing but playing up.
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Heās seeing someone else
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First, know that there is a HUGE difference between someone loving you and someone being in love with you.
Sounds like your husband loves you. I mean after 20 years, loving somebody can come naturally.
The sad thing, your husband isnāt IN LOVE with you, because if he was, he wouldnāt be moving out.
The best advice I can suggest is to get a lawyer. Be sure you have all your ducks in a row and file for a divorce.
Find yourself a good therapist. Being abandoned can leave you feeling worthless. You need to re find yourself and find your worth.
Get up, brush yourself off and look into the future with a clear mind.
You can do this!!
Be at peace with all your decisions.
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Nope. You really DONāT love somebody who abandoned you and your family. You are hurt, betrayed, disrespected & blindsided. Get a LAWYER ASAPā¦ Then prepare to start your life over. So sad.
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Help me understandā¦ he said āI got another placeā and you just said āokayāā¦ idk about anyone else here but my husband tells me heās rented another place, you better believe that my inner Jessica fletcher will coming out. That man would not even be able to sneeze without me knowing it.
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Heās got his own place so he can live like heās single, seems bit sad that you make excuses for his behaviour
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I would get a lawyer sorry but what heās doing is a no probably the biggest red flag donāt put yourself through this pain and save yourself now befor itās to deep and you walk out with nothing
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Time to move on it will get better once you accept this sorry to say
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Most me. Can not live on there own without help from women like there mom so he will change is mind everyone had struggles but work through them take my advice I tried but walked away from abusive physical and mentally for my own health you have do whatās best for you
Hes got someone else
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He has somebody else
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Get out nowwwwā¦ Self love is the best love & respect we can give to ourselves. He has another life love.
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Heās been cheating n wants more freedom to see his side chick or talk to her. Trust me men donāt do random shit like this unless they r having interactions with someone else . Good luck to u.
and you believe thisā¦ see who he has on the side or who is living with him part time, after that see a lawyer because he is taking you for a ride
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If my husband said he got another place to live Karen would definitely be coming out to help him take his keys off the key chain and before he walked out out the door he would have a rolling pin upside his head just to make sure that he isnāt dreaming cause he isnāt going to walk back through that door when ever he feels like it
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Heās in love with someone else. Check your bank accounts & get a lawyer asap
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He had it planned for awhile. No one just gets a place of their own overnight. He went through the routine to not throw you off and make it more difficult between yāall. He either really needs space because of everything youāre not telling us or heās met someone else
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Let him go girl. Why do we as women want to chase men?
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