My husband only cares about himself and I'm having a hard time

Im a working mom,i have 2 kids .. im also having online classes in the evening..

Most time in the morning i dont get to cook because i have to rush to get to work and prepare the kids to drop off at their grandparents.
What hurts is that my husband does not support me or help in any way. I work and provide for myself and kids, he hardly buys grocery or stuff for the kids.
Whenever i quarrel then he would buy a pack of pamper or a pack of snacks… all the responsibilities are left on me …i have to work,take care of the kids and him, take care of the home,do home chores and onlines classes all by myself… he is never at home,he always complains if he have to look at the kids and would take them by his parents place…he works all day and all night sometimes,he comes home 2 and 3 hours in the morning drunk etc. When asked where he was so late he says work,but he doesnt even give us a cent…he doesnt say dog or cat this is what i worked for today. He only care about himself,he doesnt have time for the kids and myself. Please help.
Im exhausted,depressed and all you can think about…im not happy… please dont judge me

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You are already a single parent it seems. Keep him if you want to or maybe consider leaving. It’s not like he is contributing anyway.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband only cares about himself and I'm having a hard time

Ur kids deserve better leave him thats just utterly crazy what ur putting urself through

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I would drop him faster than a hot potato.

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Not judging, just wondering why you are still there making yourself and your kids miserable?

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I would leave him. You’re doing it all on your own anyway!

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Sounds like to me your already doing everything on your own so you may aswell kick him to the curb! I know it’s easier said than done but you deserve better than that! We all know men not to help around the house and most women just deal with that but when it’s comes to the kids and money!! He should be helping you as much as he can! If he expects you to do all that he should pay for everything and let you sort the house and kids it’s just unfair take a stand girl!

Confront him asap! Something is very very wrong!!! You don’t have to be afraid that he might leave you. He’s always not there anyway… Ask for legal assistance so he will be oblige to support you and the kids! Stay strong. Think of the kids!!! :+1: I will pray for you! :pray:

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If your already doing it by yourself you might as well be by yourself. No point in sacrificing your mental health for someone that wouldn’t do the same for you

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If you dealing with all of this by yourself why you be with him for???

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It sounds like he isn’t Interested in being a father or husband. And it’s possible he may be cheating . I would leave and leave quick. There are alot of good men out there. All the responsibilities aren’t just yours. Leave and make yourself happy and to set an example for your children that this behavior is not tolerated

Leave already…how much more u want to be degraded…

Ur a strong independent woman…u are able to provide n nuture yours kids …he is not even suitable to be a parent

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If your doing it all by yourself, be by yourself…:tipping_hand_woman:

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Time for him to go! Bye bye! As hard as it might be to initiate. Don’t waste anymore time.

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Kick his @$$ to the curb. You and your children deserve way better. You’re obviously out here bettering yourself for you and your babies and he doesn’t want to. Frick that and him.

You have listed every reason you need to leave him. If you were searching for someone to tell you the answer you probably already knew, you got it. Leave

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You can’t make someone care. Either they do or they don’t. So get used to it
, or move on and find someone who respects you! You only get one life don’t spend it being unhappy.

May aswell be on your way with your babies if your already doing it on your own! :woman_shrugging:t2:

Get out! You’re doing it all now… once you leave it’ll be easier, you won’t have him to take care of

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Kick his ass OUT!! he will either change his tune or you will have a better, quieter life without him

He’s called a parasite. Cut him off now because you will be better off without him sucking the life out of you.

Leave him, sounds like a waste of space

Don’t leave. Kick him out lol you’re the one paying for everything. :sunglasses:

Does he even pay bills?

Set some boundaries and limits. If he doesn’t want to be around to help what is he there for?

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Girl leave him!! If your doing it all on your own then whats the point of him being there. Hes not helping so BYE!!! Stay strong you got this :heart:

Let him go you sound like your taking care of 3 kids. It’s not fair to you and your kids don’t deserve to see you stressed or depressed. I know it’s easier said then done but if he’s showing you he doesn’t care or want to take responsibility now what’s going to change?

Think it’s time to do what’s best for you and those kids hunnie. If you are doing everything alone then it shouldn’t be much of a change. You got this girl. You and your children are worth more!!!

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Honey you don’t have a husband. You have a man child. Tell him point blank you are leaving if it doesn’t change. If it doesn’t, actually leave.

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Yeah I wouldn’t give him anymore of your time he’s clearly taking advantage . been there it’s hard but you’re alone anyway might as well be with your babies and not miserable u and the kids will get the hang of it they can help with getting ready the older they get

Leave him if he doesn’t support you

You gotta do what’s best for your own mental/emotional health dear

Your doing the thing already he just on the way. Don’t worry about your kids they be more happy !!

I mean if u are already doing it by yourself…u miswell do it in peace…kick him out

Get out of relationship.

Kick him out, your doing everything by yourself anyway, him being there is just giving u more stuff to do ,plus if u kick him out then if he wasn’t to see his children then he can have them overnight which means ur getting a we break , x

You can do bad all by yourself! You have two kids not 3! Time to re-evaluate the situation and come to terms that hard decisions need to be made. No one is worth your sanity!

You are already doing it on your own so kick him out and be done

I’ve been in that same situation, but I have 6 kids to take care of and I put up with it for years. I begged and pleaded with him and fought with him. When I saw how it was affecting my kids I left him. I have no regrets what so ever, we are all happy now and been for the past 3 years! Everything always works out!

Perhaps easier said than done, but my advice would be to leave him- you’ve already proven you will be fine on your own. He will be one less child to take care of. Without him around i feel as if you will find happiness again or at least a little stress will be lifted because you will no longer be living in a state of constant disappointment and resentment that’s been robbing you of happiness.

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He’s cheating. Let him go and live your life. He is only another expense for you, not a life partner. He doesn’t help at all and is enjoying his life like he’s single. You can do bad by yourself. Concentrate on you and the kids. He’s in your way of happiness.

Kick him home to his mother

Leave. Hell your doing it alone now anyway. Only difference is you will have one less child to deal with.

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Leave, you’re already doing it by yourself there’s no need to have someone who isn’t going to cooperate in any way.

This sounds like my ex-husband.
We also had 2 kids. 1 was a toddler, the other was just a baby.
He went away for a week. It was the easiest week I had since we had kids. Once I realized how much more relaxed I was when he wasn’t there, and how it should have been much more difficult I knew it was over.
He wasn’t even home 5 minutes before I told him it was time for him to pack his bags.
Best decision I ever made!

Unfortunately I know many just like him. They only worry about themselves and that’s all. You need to move on, and if your already doing it alone I would just go ahead and let him go. I know it’s hard but think about your own happiness and the kids also. If he’s a shit dad then he doesn’t deserve them anyway

Child support for the financial support and divorce for your freedom since your doing everything already.

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So why are you married u sound like a single mother to me​:thinking::thinking: cut your losses because you already doing it alone

My advice would be to leave. But if that can’t be done I’d stop doing things for him. He can cook his own dinner and do his own laundry. I’d worry about you and the kids.

You said he’s your husband? Can’t be hun

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If your already alone doing everything then leave no sense in staying and putting yourself through all that you have to be happy in order to make your children happy

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I relate to this so much except mine will take care of the kids while I’m working so I don’t have to figure out daycare but I’m still the breadwinner and it’s exhausting. I had to tell him that either things are going to change or I’m going to leave. I think you should do the same dear. If he doesn’t bother to change then he doesn’t respect you

If you are unhappy its time to your happy. You and your kids deserve so much more.

Leave I just left my son’s father if seven years for the same shit if your gna do it alone then do it alone don’t let him continue to drag you down only you can change it and nothing will change if nothing changes :call_me_hand:

No one is judging you but clearly he is not in the same relationship as you are and he does not have the same care and concerns that you do and he’s not ready to be a father in a family man so at this point I would honestly say you can do bad all by yourself you’re doing it on your own now and he’s just an extra person to feed an extra stressor and I think you really need to get rid of him and you know obviously you do everything on your own now so it’s not going to be any different when he leaves because he’s not helping you it’s actually going to be a wait in a burden lifted off you. Best of luck

If you doing everything by yourself then be by yourself

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Your already doing it on your own. Why let him have a free ride.
His kids too.
Hunny let it go
You are strong and deserve a strong happy health relationship with an adult lol sending you prayers of strength

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Honey lose the extra baggage.

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Leave him. It’s clear enough that you can do it all by yourself anyway so better kick his butt. You’ll feel so much better after. Tired but more accomplished as you didn’t have to drag him too.

Why are you still married then?

There are too many GOOD men out there to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want what you do. Don’t stay for the kids… it NEVER works! He doesn’t have to be with you to be dad.

Not my business but Im gona say this-Hey Mama take a good look around and know you can handle anything thrown at you! You are doing it all on your own you said it! Your not happy its not because of all that responsibility although its very heavy its the fact that your other half is really holding on to your happiness and your kids! Dont let him but please if he is a drunk plan this move in your head prepare to leave swiftly and with no trace of where you are he can call until he can man the fuck up he can see the kids when you go to court! Dont let any man make you unhappy…Scary yes but you have been doing it alone all along! No judgement girl DONT tolerate this bullshit!

Leave him. You didn’t list one thing he does that is beneficial to your kids or your life. Just negativity. So if it’s all negative why are you still with him.

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Honey, you need to read what you wrote again and again. You know, without a doubt what to do. You don’t need anyone here or anywhere to give you an answer or to tell you what to do, because it’s all going to be exactly what you already know. You’re already being a single parent, why have the extra stress or baggage? Stand strong like you’ve been doing, however hard that is and change those locks on those doors. See you shouldn’t leave…he needs to leave.

You do it on your own so walk away. You will see it is so much easier with out taking care of him too. I was this mom I left and I do great and found a man who helps who will help pay the bill will run my kids if can’t or just to tired to. If they don’t bring the same to the table then he is using you.

I was here before. He is not going to change. Do not waste the best years of your life . You can do better by your self. Join a good church . God will place people in your life to help you.

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I mean read this what you post over and over :woman_shrugging:

Have the locks changed on your house, put his s*** on the front porch with a note that says Since your never home and don’t care to be apart of our family, kindly take your belongings and hit the road. Chances are if he’s not coming until that late he’s also probably got a side chick. As many others have already said your doing it on your own already so why not get a divorce and make his sorry a** pay child support and you continue to do you and what’s best for your babies. The sooner the better so you can start your healing process. You got this girl!

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What’s the point of having a husband then? You’re blocking yourself from other blessings, hoping someone will change, when they probably don’t see a problem in their actions. I’m a mom-to-be and I couldn’t imagine doing this alone! You are one VERY STRONG mama! At some point you have to do what’s best for you! Your kids will sense that animosity in the house. When I was a kid my parents were alcoholics, they argued constantly over money, and I can say I would’ve rather seen my mom and dad happy without each other, than miserable with each other, don’t forget that when you allow someone like that to put you through hell, your kids will think that is “love”, they will always have unhealthy relationships. Leaving will hurt for a while, but you will soon feel relieved, like you’ve been under water for so long and finally got that breath of fresh air, I promise you everything gets better over time. :heart: keep your head up. Keep doing what you’re doing. Karma will get to him soon.

Just as quick as you told some strangers what are u telling him

You need to simply pack up n move in with your parents for now with the kids. They watch them while you work anyway. Leave that deadbeat to fend for himself

Have you told him how you feel? Communication can go a long way. And if you have then well, I think your intuition already knows what to do. Hope all works out for you :two_hearts:

Nothing wrong with being a single parent…you already are just get rid of the baggage holding you back…

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I wouldn’t be surprised if he was cheating too…but he has no respect for u or the kids, so do the right thing and walk away… don’t let the kids see the disrespect and think it’s normal…its not!!

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If you continue to stay you will not be doing any favours for your children.

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This sounds like my first marriage! Honey I’m not trying to be rude but he is straying on you!

As someone raised by parents who "stayed together for the kids "
FOR THE LOVE OF G*D DONT STAY TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS.
its ten 10x worse.
As someone who was raised by an alcoholic absent father , leave before it gets worse cause it will

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I know it easier said than done but if he making your life harder leave him where he’s at. I apologize you are going through this and feel this way hopefully you had enough too want better… don’t give up​:smiling_face::smiling_face::smiling_face::smiling_face::crossed_fingers::heart:

What u allow will continue. Set ur boundaries and expectations and he can’t compromise then do what u need to do

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Pray. Pray. Pray. Let the Lord help and guide through and too truth. Hugs

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Is time for you to move on Hun , is not healthy for you or your kiddos , he is just a piece of crap , Yo doing everything alone already , You don’t need him , trow him to the garbage :wastebasket: , he don’t deserve you or your kids , he is selfish and will always be , Keep your head up For you and your love ones :100::two_hearts:

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Divorce his ass anyone can be a father it takes someone special to be a dad and I’m sorry but he isn’t it .

I find it easier to figure out what to do in these situation if u ask urself would u want ur kids or best friend to tolerate tht kind of stuff? What would u tell them? Im hoping u would tell them its time to leave
So do the same ur already doing it alone and it will take a mental load off ur shoulders

Seems like you are already doing it all alone anyway so make it permanent! Honestly you will feel a weight has been lifted. You will be just fine so work on you and your children because that’s all that matters.

You already know what you need to do. You have to be the one to do it. And you dont really want or need complete strangers to be the ones telling you. You already know in your gut what to do. Good luck! You got this!

Leave!!! ASAP
You’re already doing it on your own it’s obvious you don’t need him :muscle:t4::muscle:t4: you don’t need the stress or the headache Girl u got this!!!

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I agree with everyone else that you’re better off without him. You’re already doing everything yourself anyway and he’s just bringing you down

You need to worry about your kids and yourself. I’m sure you want to try and save your marriage. But it sounds as if it’s too late. You are already doing it all by yourself and then some. I applaud you. You are a strong woman. Stronger than you think. Kick him to the curb.

It’s simple you asked and we answer . The thing is if you wanted to leave you would of done so already but you don’t. Have you heard the saying that says kids don’t want a perfect mom they want a happy mom. They only have 1 childhood , dad is not doing nothing about it so are you going to? Maybe that way he might change but now he is not. You now the answer to your question and it’s all up to you honestly. Hugs and be strong , you already got this.

Why even stay married …

Leave his ass selfish prick!

I think reading all these messages u know what u have to do. It is hard but u r strong doing it already. Hes not being fair on you . If he cared he would b their for you and the kids. Goodluck

I was on the same boat. I ended it and while it’s tough some days, at least a grown ass man isn’t contributing to my hassles any more.

No judgement at all, is he the biological father to your kids?

He’ll never change, so stop beating yourself up. Leave, take the kids, the animals and any money you have. Don’t tell him or threaten him, he doesn’t care. He will care, when u take him to court, and garnish his paycheck for support. Be strong, think with your head, not your heart. Good luck.

Please leave him… you can do bad all by yourself.
You may be missing a true blessing staying in that messed up situation…

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Be done. at this point your single anyway

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Your already a single mom might as well get ya shit together and get ur own place. Go and get your rights entirely for you since he thinks having kids was only done by you. Leave him let him be and get yourself together. Since your kids are more With you than him anyway. Put that ass on child support. Get rid of him. Leave and go enjoy your mental peace elsewhere.

I think you know the answer, cut your losses and let him go, he’s no help or support to you, he doesn’t even tell you where he’s been

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Pray for him and for your marriage

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