My husband pays so much in child support that our kids go without: Advice?

Hello evil channel and your click bait fake Fans letters of a made up page im your biggest hater of you and anyone who buys into this evil game so let me start by giving you my middle finger and a cat calling wink as i blow a kiss before i call the woke extreamly different agenda loving liers that get triggered at my finger​:fu::clown_face::roll_eyes: but pretending this is real. 1 dont ask social media on a public forum pretending your wanting advice on this clearly pathetic situation. 2. You are clearly not a victim of anything and your not brave talking about this because the ones givibg you sympathy do not care one bit about you they just wanna pretend to be woke, makes them feel important and there message why you still with him? Well let me say you should consider yourself lucky he is with you comsidering you are used goods and he want to look after your baggaged carrying ass so BE THANKFUL you spolit brat… and before i get banned from YouTube for actually making you and your relationship better when all ya friends consistently lying to you. How dare you judge a man who is being doing whats right and paying to amke sure his kids that he is not allowed to see any more because his ex wife cheated and kicked him out does what most men do and thats be good men and doing his best to try and help his kids. Honeslty im sick of this fight so fuk you lady you dont deserve this man. Grow up brat

2 kids is 24 percent of gross income minus social security. Have him cut it down. A friend of mine pays 300 a week for 1 child.

The court needs to modify the amount. Have him take it to court and see if they will reduce the amount based on need.

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He can go to court and file for a reduction

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Depending where you are get the government involved. I’m in Ab Canada. Here your child support is based on income of the paying parent. Helps parents from overpaying…but just a consideration- it also stops you from getting enough if the payer can’t earn it …

Sounds like he needs to take his ex to court

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This man is guilty for not being a man and raising his kids sadly which you already knew. Now with that being said, if you 2 cannot come to an agreement that he needs to go to court unfortunately you will continue to scrape by. It has to be the father that puts this in motion (court case) not you and it appears he does not want to do that.

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tell him to go to court

I don’t know because my ex doesn’t pay child support, but why does he still pay child support if she’s married? I figured it’d be like alimony or military widow payments, they stop after remarriage? I don’t see why he should be paying, especially if they “make too much” for government assistance?

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You can request a child support modification through child support enforcement without going to court.

Um… he’s still responsible for his other kids. You sound kind of bitter.

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He still needs to pay for HIS kids whether you like it or not. He had kids when you married him so don’t be bitter about it now. His other children shouldn’t get pushed to the side by their father because their mother chose to get married again and because their new step mommy doesn’t like it. You’re a mess! :joy:

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he is responsible for all his children, sounds like he is doing the right thing, after all he is not paying for his ex wife

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This guy sounds like he’s trying to do right by everyone, and gets upset when you tell him it isn’t enough. How about you find a way to earn more to help your kids too??? He isn’t the only one in that relationship!!

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He might just being paying less than what he actually would be if courts get involved. Usually you have to pay 25% of your earned wages and that’s before taxes or any other type of deduction… it doesn’t matter if she’s married or not either because it doesn’t change the fact their his kids and he is still financially responsible…

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You CHOSE to marry a man who had children with another woman. You SIGNED UP for this. Get over it or move on

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Is thier a court agreement to child support? Or does he just pay her how much he thinks he should? If so I would have him actually get a court order… what the court says goes :roll_eyes: even if she is Married and has a job they still base it off of what your husband makes even if she makes alot of money… my husband pays alot in child support so I can get where you are coming from (from thinking he pays to much) but the mother deserves to get paid for thier children she is raising. If he doesn’t want more time with them, than that’s on him …

A grand isn’t much for 2 kids especially if he makes decent money. He could end up paying more if they go to court. He should however put his foot down and not pay extra. If he pays a grand then that’s it.

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If you know he should be paying more by what his yearly income is and right now is only paying what they have agreed on (lower than table amount)then going to court would only screw your guys over more because then she will be able to get the table amount for both children!! Plus extra section 7 expenses! So that’s totally up to you on what you choose to do!!

My ex doesn’t help me at all with our boys he tells me he has a new family to take care of. Which is his new wife’s kids not even his blood. And he quits work every time the state picks up his new job.

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She is doing something wrong…if she is remarried and he has kids with you as well, then all this should be taken into consideration

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Child support is based on income and other dependents. He needs to take her to court. Until there is a support order he will have to pay what they agreed to. It’s not like alimony. The kids are his and he’s obligated to pay child support until they are 18 …in some states its longer if the child is a full time college student and still living at home.

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You sound jealous that he is financially responsible for his kids. Maybe you shouldn’t have married someone with other children

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Private Agreements aren’t always the best.
He needs to go to court or where CS is worked out where you live.
Not sure how it works there but a partner/ex’s income, assets & ability to earn are all taken into consideration where I am … It is made that way so neither family has to struggle & if there is a financial strain due to amount having to be paid, then a re-assessment can be done.
So he needs to go get a proper CS plan made & start looking after the family that lives with him too!
Not just fork out extra guilt money.

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I have the same trouble. I have to ask my daughters dad for money for stuff she needs and even then he can’t afford to pay me the money. Everything my daughter has is because of me

So what do you think is a “reasonable” amount for 2 kids :thinking::joy: Child support always goes off of income and the amount of time he takes his kids. Get over it. Do you not get child support? Is that why you’re coming off bitter?

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First question, is your kid his kid too? If your kid isn’t his then I don’t see a huge problem…but he should also think about his own family as well.

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maybe you could help out more financially.

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Tell your hubs to go back to court to have this all reassessed.

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This is difficult because I do hear what you’re saying and I think some of these responses don’t. It sounds like, he pays child support and then any time they also need a necessity (like new clothes), she also makes him pay for that. So, it’s on top of child support. Plus, he has them on his insurance. So that’s possibly another expense (it’s possibly not because if your child together is also on his insurance, he’d be paying it no matter what).

I think he should probably take her to court for more time as that is another issue. 4 days a month? That’s crazy. He could probably get them 3 weekends and one evening per week at the very least.

But, I don’t know if court would lower his payments. And no one can fault him for making sure his kids have clothes. Sounds like mom would just have them go without if he doesn’t do it.

I would talk to him, not after one of these moments (where he’s putting extra money out), but when it’s not an issue at all. I would just sit down and pull up the state calculator to see if he’s paying what he should, all things being what they are. And then I would see if he’d rather have more time with him (child support is also based on time spent in the parents custody). There should be a compromise.

But I don’t think you should be angry at him for trying to be a good dad. There just may be other ways for him to go about that. Come at it from that angle.

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Csp be remodified due to increase on his income

I know someone who has his child equally week on week off but he still has to pay big maintenance, it is not right, then there is another one who pays his maintenance regularly but his ex won’t let him have her at all

Thing is child support will be dedicated out if there pay checks. Also if he falls behind csp he filled taxes end of the year they will take what is owning . Really it’s hit miss don’t rely on csp as way to finachely care for your kids. Best get job yourself to support kids. I’m still waiting for $4.000.00 that’s is owed toe in back csp last 4 yrs kids are adults.

Question do you and him have children together

So… You say in your post… That he doesn’t wanna be there for the other kids… Well you honestly shouldn’t have got with him knowing all that🤷 that’s on you. And, there is a huge chance that they do have really nice clothes. But the FOUR DAYS A MONTH they go to their “father’s” she doesn’t send the nice ones. Huge chance. You said it yourself, so you clearly know and are okay with the fact, that he doesn’t wanna be a dad to his other kids. Except for financially. He’s doing the only thing he wants to do for his kids… And that’s buying and paying for things for them. When you got with him… Did you really think it was gonna be any different or change things? And honestly, court might make it worse for him. Especially depending how much he makes. They do take into consideration, how often he actually sees his kids, and is an actual parent🤷

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You knew the deal when you got with him. The red flag is that he throws money instead of time and energy so yeah, you’re going to always get scraps with someone like that.

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If your children go without while your partner is supporting his previous children plus putting a roof over you and yours then thats on you in all honesty. Your responsible for your own children & kudos to your hubby for being a man & supporting his kids :raised_hands: maybe do the same & pull your weight too or leave him & collect the same or possibly more in spousal supports :woman_shrugging: just saying!

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And a grand isn’t much for two kids honestly. That’s about 500 for each kid. And that’s about what most people pay. And honestly, what the mom buys or the kids have at their moms isn’t any of your business either. Or whatever financial situation between the mom and husband is either. Yeah it can suck, that they both have jobs. And she’s getting child support. So I guess they can afford more. And you it seems have either just your husband’s income. Or maybe his and yours. But, that’s how it works. When you get with someone, that has a child or children with someone before you.

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Are you in the UK? If so check how much maintenance you should be paying on the maintenance calculator. You put in how many nights they stay with you and your income and it will calculate what you should be paying. A grand a month sounds alot of money. Also take a look at this website too

He should only be paying child support nothing more. The comment of screwing up being there for his kids is not nice. He damn well should be there for his kids no matter what ,l mean all his kids!
I think this is more about him not being approachable, you deserve to be able to be honest and also have your kids needs met for sure.Resentment will start if he doesn’t do something about it

Tell him to speak to a lawyer first and foremost to see if there is actually anything she is or isn’t doing that could be wrong and illegal, sadly unless you can prove that the money isn’t going to the kids you will need to play ball

Paying child support on an “agreement between them” is stupid on his part. If she ever decided to take it court or even if he does he will be considered to owe back pay from when they split even if they both say he paid this whole time. They won’t care.

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He can take it to court . But it doesn’t mean it will get lowered it could get raised the more money you make the more they take for child support. And for two kids that’s really not a lot . When you get with someone who has kids it’s what you sign up for .maybe get yourself a job and help out . Kinda sounds like your a little bitter because baby momma has nice things and you don’t . Sounds like maybe she’s working or her man is and able to have nice things . It’s not her fault or kids fault she can . He made those kids with her and he had to help support them.

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Maybe he can just pay the court ordered amount and nothing more. There is nothing anywhere saying he owes her more legally. He needs to just tell her no.

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Um, I’m sorry but you knew he had kids right? I get 500 child support for one kid, 2 kids = $1000. I assure you this is based off of his income. And I assure you that the mom and her new husband are still paying for the majority of expenses. Kids are expensive and she has them almost all the time so she is paying for their lifestyle.
The way you are complaining, I assure you if they reduced the child support and increased visitation you would then decide to have a problem with the kids.
Now that is not to say that the way he is acting with you is not harsh. It is, and you need to talk to him. But he’s a man with kids, he is responsible for caring for all of them. The other kids have nice things because the mom and her new husband are supplementing it. They have a right to. The mom is also probably trying to see if he will be around more, by giving him financial responsibility. It does not really matter. Unless she is actively insulting you or hurting your kids I mean just let it be. Start working and putting in more income to your own house.

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That’s a tough one he goes 2 court he could very well get slapped with more payment a month because it goes off income but its worth a shot. If the parent who’s getting the child support is constantly getting expensive things, find a way 2 prove the money isn’t being spent on the necessities such as clothes that fit instead on toys that they dont need. On that same note what is stopping u from adding extra income for ur kids? U can’t complain ur kids are going without and not putting in effort 2 provide 4 them. I do however agree he shouldn’t treat previous kids any different than he treats urs biological or not. U need 2 have a talk with him about the finances but instead of going at him with u treat them differently go in with records and proof that u dont live as comfortable as u would like and talk 2 him about other options of obtaining the funds u would like 2 have.

Questions:
Are you married to this significant other?
Is the child that lives with you also his biological child?
That was unclear in your original post.

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I didn’t see child support until my daughter was 14. He only had to pay 200 a month.

Put your foot down and tell him point blank “you are married to me, we have a child, they are your children too but you still owe an obligation to OUR daughter. If you keep yelling at me and never listen when we barely scrape by every month while they live comfortably aside from their clothes not fitting. Then I’m going to take action and leave because I am tired of being yelled at and neglected like this, it affects my daughter too and I’m tired of it”

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He can go to court and have them decide how much he pays. (It sounds like it would be less)

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I get about $750 a month from my daughters father. Raising kids is very expensive. $1,000 a month for 2 kids is not a lot. My daughter does dance and gymnastics so I can assure u it all goes to her activities. I pay for her clothes, food, housing and his money keeps her active and happy in her sports. She is a straight A 6th grader and he is happy with how I’m raising her and spending the money.

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Have him take 50 percent custody. Then no one pays. Just an idea. You are complaining about 1000 a month for 2 kids which is bottom child support and not excessive btw. It’s the usual. And she has them almost the entire month minus 4 days? He is lucky that’s all he pays.

Best solution. Take her to court for part custody. Get them half the time (2 weeks in the month). Then no one pays anything Bc you’d technically both owe each other the same.

And if he doesn’t want to have them half the month, then you guys need to manage your money better to provide for your child, or you need to find a better job. Because he owes the money based off his income.

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Same except we have the kids more often :unamused::unamused:

I feel like he should be paying child support for his children. Look at child support calculator for your state online this should give you an idea if he is overpaying or under paying and go from there. Maybe try picking up part time job so your child has the extras you want to provide. Unfortunately, child suport is expensive for some people and the courts tend to award additional payment to the parent who has them majority of the time. Asking him to fight 50/50 in court to lower child support doesnt always go in your favor. So check options, talk to
Lawyers, and see if revisiting it in court is a good option for you both. Maybe your husband wants to be cordial with his ex and keep his children in their current routine. He probably has some peace of mind knowing he is at minimally providing for them. If you are concerned about their clothing not fitting maybe go shopping for them keep the clothes at your house etc.
Your husband may not be financially able to provide all of your wants but it sounds like he is providing your needs and the needs of his other children. Its not easy and sometimes you have to go without or you work harder to have more. I hope things get easier for you and your family. This is a decision your husband needs to make and only he can make it.

This is a lot of words to say “how can I get my husband to treat his kids who don’t live with me like they don’t exist”.

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The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Be blessed and enjoy what you have now. Jealousy just push you and your husband away.

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I don’t get child support. Are your kids his? If his income says that’s what he pays then that’s what he pays. My ex paid a lot for his first and I made sure she got it. Hugs. It’ll be ok.

Sounds a lot like what my husband has dealt with but he had her take him to court for child support because she is withholding the children from him completely. He pays 247 every two weeks for 2 kids. If he were to take it to court and tell them that he has a family and is wanting to make it a reasonable amount where he can live comfortably while taking care of the children in his daily life they will drop it. Before my husband said anything about our family they were trying to get him for almost 700 every two weeks. And plus if he files even for the custody it looks better for him :relaxed:

I don’t know if this is an issue, your just making it an issue, your husband is doing the right thing by everyone, as hard as it seems. I’d look at it from his perspective and have some empathy.
It could be worse , he could owe her thousands and be in debt to her.

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Maintenance is always a tricky thing. My ex always used to pay expected amount but then quit his job so for years I’ve gotten nothing. I’ve brought up my children basically 100% on my own and it’s been really tough. He’s working again and I’m now getting a whole $16 a fortnight which, for a 16yr old boy doesn’t come close to covering his expenses unfortunately but I never say anything coz I don’t want the abusive reply. I just keep struggling along.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-husband-pays-so-much-in-child-support-that-our-kids-go-without-advice/9619

Yup and they took my taxes too but can’t talk to me about why (before I figured out it was for his back support)

Did he have these kids/ this responsibility when you got with him? If so, I wouldn’t touch it. Will only end badly for you

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Go through Child Support. She is taking advantage of him :100:. My husband ex was doing the same thing to him when I first met him. He was giving her $ weekly, paying the full daycare for the 2 kids, had them 50% of the time, and she would still send lists of needed supplies in the baby bag (diapers, wipes, medicine, bottle liners, shampoo)everything you can think of. When we went to court they took both his and her income into consideration, split the childcare 50/50 and the actual support payment was way less then he was giving her.

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I know this first hand. We barely scraped by for many many years while my husband’s ex was pocketing a hefty check. When we had our child together we did get it refiled and it went down a little. It sounds like he might have some animosity towards her but taking it out on you when you bring up the subject. I would just do your research and maybe even have a consult with a lawyer to run the numbers and see if what she’s saying she’ll get paid it true. Best of luck, it is hard!

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My ex failed to have the kids and pay maintenance. My youngest is now 24. He still owes me $23,000. Pays $50.00 a fortnight. I know for a fact on paper he owes $61,000. Child support get hundreds of thousands of dollars in interest from these men.

So he’s paying a mutually agreed amount because she’s essentially told him inaccurate info to keep him out of court. I’d definitely take it to court! She’s probably aware that what she’s getting doesn’t reflect what she should be. Also, if the children in your home are his that would be taken into consideration when determining the amount. I wish your family the best. It really sounds like she’s taking advantage.

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If it where me I would go to child support and ask them to re do the amount and explain everything you just told us

You can stress & stress to him to go to court but at the end of the day you can’t make him unless HE WANTS TO. shit sucks I know but it sounds like now the decision is all in your hands, is it worth to continue like this? Is it not? She will ALWAYS find something new the children need

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It doesn’t matter how many days a month “he gets to see them”. He’s not paying based on time with them. Even if he never sees them he is still obligated to contribute to their financial needs. If he doesn’t think the amount is accurate then he can get it modified in court.

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I will definitely be in someone court room.

If go back to court - they only go off her income. Since she has 0 - he likely get order to pay more not less -
I consider a attorney check state requirements-
Your husband decided- honestly seems like he won’t do it.
Her husband isn’t legally responsible for Your husband children.
All women- complain You knew these babies were here before made new ones -
So now these should have less because you choose have children with them. It may seem unfair- its not.
She was here 1st - these children were here - knew what was ordered before choosing to marry them.
It’s not taking advantage of the father for them pay half of their children bills-
How can respect a man who see his children have less for yours -
My dad paid 695.00 back in the 80s for me.
Look up online for your state -
Her income is 0% - his is 50k -
While me and husband were separated if I had went though Child support enforcement- he would had pay $800 a month for each child. -
You are being a jerk -
Your children get their father -
His children get to be strangers in his father’s wife house twice a month-
When get a divorce it automatically goes though child support enforcement-
This basic off his income.
At time she probably had income now her income is 0 = your ex ?

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This happened to us for years. We never had the money to go back to court to fight it and our children often went without and we had to live with family while his ex was out getting gastric bypass surgery and always had a new car and was able to follow the Dave Matthews Band on tour. Not one, but several summers.

My ex is the same. He has a new house a new wife new step kids and new boat and ATV. And yet he pays us $50 a month and we can’t even afford to pay our bills. $50 is no where near what he is supposed to be paying us but as long as he pays something the courts don’t care and as long as he doesn’t get more than $10,000 behind the courts don’t care

Try calling legal aid in your area to or child support division to find out the percent of income garnished per pay check to get a better understanding of what is due and if he’s paying more, yes discuss it with him to go to court. It’s not fair at all.

He needs to do something because not only do they calculate what he should pay off of what he makes but also what the mother’s household income is.

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  1. What you don’t realize, is that “Child Support” is dictated by a computer.
    And that computer, doesn’t give Two Flips, about “your” kid’s, your current situation, or her husband … ONLY HIS “responsibilities” to pay child support, for HIS children. Period, point blank. And the computer does NOT make exceptions.

  2. Your Husband pays very little. My Ex, paid 2,500 per month for our 3 children … and that was YEARS ago. They are all grown now. And he tried Everything to get out of it!
    I had a decent attorney, who started to “charge” him … EVERY TIME, he dragged me to court. He learned “REAL” quick!

  3. It doesn’t matter what “her” husband is or isn’t doing, or if he’s even a Billionaire … they aren’t HIS kids. They are your Husband’s.
    If he doesn’t want to be financially responsible for them … he can always sign over his rights, and THEN … it will be game over.

But He hasn’t done that. It sounds like, he loves his children, and have made them a priority.

And you’re the one with the issue.

*If you have a problem with his lack of time & support, with “your” child … that is an entirely separate issue, and you should address it as such.

I’m being honest with you when I say, if you drag his children & his Ex into your personal issues … you aren’t going to like the results you will get.

From all that you wrote, I wouldn’t be surprised if your husband feels stressed by your direct actions. I’m sure that nobody will tell you this. I’m saying it, because if he gets too stressed out … well, most men will leave or step out. Be careful girl.

Go and talk to your husband, but not about his kid’s or Ex! Be vulnerable, and Tell him “HOW” you feel second fiddle. Getting all the left over scraps.

If he can love his parents, siblings, and children … then he can love his family as well. This isn’t about them … it’s about “Him.”

Whatever you decide to do; :crossed_fingers: Good Luck, I hope everything works out.

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Hell no my babies will nvr take a back seat. :100: even w the kids. If she dont want it thro court, this might make her. (Save recites) Take $ he gives her everytime n buy them n ur kids the same. New everything every week. Goto Sams get toiletries even. All clothes anything they need. Could u imagine how much u could get for all the kids w that? If dad buys all needs mom pays bills Even (calculate it w ur state to make sure thro court is cheaper)Also time for dad to make more time. Eveyday off, have fun family days. Dont let this $ hungry momma steal urs or those kids happiness.If hubby dont make u happy, find a new one. Apparently hell still pay ur bills :joy:Lifes to short,be happy.

The people at the child support office here didn’t care when I tried to explain to them they were taking over half of his paycheck for one kid when we had more at home. They basically laughed in my face and asked me if I wanted to open a child support case on him too :roll_eyes:

Have him do a wage assignment. They make more then you all his support will drop down. Or take her to court.

How about you take him to court and get the child support you need for your kids. If he is so submissive to her commands I’m sure it’s because he’s still smitten by her. You are better off on your own.

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If your husband is ok with it then your complaining will only cause problems for you. You knew he had kids with her and still chose to be in a relationship with him. There is NEVER too much of anything when it comes to providing for children.

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She’s taking advantage of him.

People she is telling you the ex is getting everything and he won’t take care of the child they have together.

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Instead of paying such a hefty amount I would just start buying things they needed like school clothes supplies shoes. Keep the receipt and deduct it from what he’s paying. That way she’s not pocketing it and the kids don’t go without.

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Child support = getting what kids needs… which means if kids clothes don’t fit, then look at the mother. Not the father b.c he pays

TAKE care of your house.

Tell him to go to court ,

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-husband-pays-so-much-in-child-support-that-our-kids-go-without-advice/9619

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Maybe YOU should LEAVE HIM too so you get to milk him for all he’s worth too!!!

I just NEVER get it with some Men!!! Never know when they got it so good!!!

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Honestly this is kind of the reason I let go of a couple of guys I dated with kids and chose to stay single. Nothing to do with their kids! You will drive yourself crazy comparing your family to hers. I didn’t even like to secretly think to myself “man how come he gives her THAT much? and I’m a nice person and take the bare min from my ex!?” It’s not the kind of person I wanted to be so I removed myself from that situation and voila I’m happy with what I have again.

I think there’s probably a lot of back information that has not been told. It all depends on how much your husband makes. It might be worth getting an attorney to calculate the appropriate amount. The next I would suggest buying the clothes yourself. Find some good deals each season and send them to his kids. If the mother doesn’t like them or wants more, oh well. I do think that since he chose to start over his family needs to come first. But that does not negate his responsibility to his other children… whether he sees the kids once a month or never, he is obligated, and should help financially. Each state has specific formulas based on his income alone that determines how much that should be. You both should be open and willing to pay that to help with his kids. And beyond that would be dependent upon your finances.
I will add, being in a similar situation, many women do use their children as a tool and pawn to manipulate to get more from their exes. Either your husband needs to set the boundaries immediately or you will be miserable. You two need to get on the same page, or you need to let him help you raise your child from a far.

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You can look up the percentage he will pay in your state based on what he makes and see what is cheaper.

I’m sorry but I can’t get past the first part of your situation… “screwed up being there” and “still doesn’t offer to have them more when he can”. As a Wife and a Mom, you should encourage him to see his children, if you’re not and it honestly seems like this is the case you should just be happy your children are growing up with their Dad in their life. Sounds like a lot of jealousy on your end when you might want to put yourself in those children’s shoes.

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I get a hundred dollars a month, he NEVER sees her and hasn’t since she was 11 months. She is 10 now and I pay medical. Never helped with clothing, school supplies or anything. So I say, $1000 a month is excessive. It didn’t matter of I made minimum wage, worked two or three jobs or now that I have a decent job.

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I honestly think you should’ve thought about that before you married and had kids with this man. If you guys aren’t doing well you have to big in more for your children instead of expecting him to do for you what you don’t want him doing for her and his other children and lastly stay out of it. This is why when I was young I didn’t want no dude with children it’s to much of a headache

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But if the kids clothes don’t fit, rather than complain and let them walk around with tiny ass clothes, why aren’t you working to help out? Just because he started over after had already having 2 kids doesn’t mean his priority drops from them to you.

I’m pretty sure if they go to court, it’ll be a lot less than $1000+ a month for two kids…I hate to say it but maybe you have to go and put him on it yourself so that you can ensure your kids are being properly taken care of, just because his other kids don’t live with him doesn’t mean that the kids he does live with deserve less…

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Try not to compare,‘it’s the worse thing you can do. Have him spend more time with his kids and provide at your house, it’s not an excuse to not be around. He has to rid himself of guilt. Imagine living with this guilt until their 23 years+. Things have to change, a re evaluation of finances sound like they are in order. He has to face his demons and make better financial decisions and make ZERO apologies. Kids cost a lot of money. If he took care of them more then your in home costs would increase too but it’s very much due & i think it’s better that way.

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