reading these comments got me like… 
A lot of you girls are gonna be divorced before you’re 30
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If he’s a good father during other times than bedtime, I wouldn’t ask anymore. He’s doing more than most dads tbh.
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Usually I would say you have every right to have him help because being a sahm is NOT easy and is mostly thankless and exhausting and it never ends so the fact that you don’t get paid doesn’t excuse them from being helpful, we don’t get breaks or days off (and honestly, I had more energy and sanity when I was a working single mother of one) but it sounds like he does help, he just doesn’t want to do this particular “chore” so honestly, I would say count your blessings and move on because a lot of them don’t do anything at all (not throwing shade at anyone in particular, js). You should probably train the baby not to NEED rocked to sleep by now anyway, if you WANT to do it then by all means, cuddle your baby while you can and if he’s sick or something and needs comfort, cool, but regularly, you need to be able to lay him down and him go to sleep.
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I gave up asking mine
Maybe give him anothsr activity to try to do with your kiddo? I wouldn’t force it🤷💛
You’re feelings are very valid. I feel like dad’s need to bond more with there kids in times like these.
Imo if hes doing a physically demanding job esp since its summer, you should just drop the subject…your tired but he is probably exhausted
Stop rocking your baby to sleep.
Lay him down, give him a bottle and let him drink himself to sleep. He’s old enough to fall asleep on his own, break the rocking him to sleep habit
I completely understand you and FEEL your frustration…if you will. My daughter’s dad can’t be around at this time and man… it would be nice to have him here to do the same thing… I dont think people really understand just how time consuming & hard work it really is to take care of a child… wish they would take a chance tho…
I’ve been there before with my eldest and now six.
We all have our different kind of wife/partner journey and I can say Is It’s a stressing everyday job.
I meant no offense but you’ll get through It. Sometimes you have to accept facts that not all husbands are willing. They just have their own unique ways of showing affection to our child.
Learn to be more understanding today and you’ll laugh at this through the years. Try to Understand his field of work. Don’t compare chores. Enough with this and that.
You’re a great mommy for doing all that. 
If it’s still bothering you, try to talk to him and have each one your own tasks to do.
My Personal Tip is try to list down your every day chores. Don’t do things repeatedly like mopping and the laundry. Make time for your me time also. And a nap every afternoon…
Mommy you can do this!
I agree with your husband. Rocking a baby to sleep can be endless. Lay the baby down & let him/her fall asleep on their own.
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I don’t think rocking your son to sleep is the problem. It’s the father’s lack of desire. Your baby won’t want to be rocked forever… won’t even fit in your arms one day…
If he helps out other times than bedtime, i say just leave it alone. Mine doesn’t help at all, and i have 3 under the age of 2.
Maybe try sleep training so no one has to rock baby to sleep? sleep training helped wonders with my kids! my 7 month old falls asleep amazingly on her own.
He’s still a father and should chip in on the caretaking when he is present. He should find a compromise with you but at the end of the day he’s his own person and if he isn’t going to value fatherhood then that’s his loss and his kids will notice.
Stop rocking him to sleep! He is 18 months
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband refuses to rock our son to sleep: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
We used to take it in turns, week nights or work nights dad wouldn’t do the nights, weekends or days off he would do the nights for a break for me. Not always fair and everyone needs a break but it worked for us.
From a different point of view, I previously worked in a nursery and it was our policy not to rock the children to sleep. Apart from the practicalities of not being able to rock 15 babies to sleep at once, it means they don’t learn to self settle and become reliant on being rocked to sleep. We all received sleep training and this was the advice given. However, as a parent it’s your choice and if you feel that that is best for your child then why not. It does make it difficult though if you end up sending them to a childcare setting both on the baby and the staff xx
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Rocking my children and grandchildren, the very best memories.
Be glad he works let him rest
The baby shouldn’t be rocked all the time.
You’re not asking too much at all. You’re both tired. Work is hard but so is looking after a baby and keeping the house clean and tidy! You should share it. Also would be nice for them to get that bedtime bond too!
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So here’s what you do dont give him a choice hand him his child and walk away
You are BOTH working! He needs to do more, especially if he wants a bond with his child…you are not moaning…good luck
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It’s frustrating as your both obviously very tired… Can I say about the baby rocking to get to sleep. Like it used to take me forever to do that with my son I’d have him wrapped him up in a blanket nursing and nursing. So I tried simply laying him down and stroking his hand to soothe him to sleep. Alot less effort. Then eventually got him to go down most nights put into his bed and he would go to sleep does take a while to get them into a different way to settle for bed, but so much less exhausting. Just an idea might make it easier for both of you’s
Rock your child as long as you are able. I think your husband should be willing to help you out anyway he can. Your children are only small for a short time so rocking is lived short. Sounds like your husband wants his cake, and to eat it too. He needs to MAN UP !!!
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I know this is all BS. The “person”… that sends out these messages never responds with a “thank you”. But any way… can I just say in her message. Quote, “he lets me be a stay at home mom” LWTF.
I’m a stay at home mum with an 11, 7 year old and 11 month old. My husband works alternate week shifts (week 1 1.00pm-9.30pm and week 2 6am-2.30pm) and the nights he’s home he baths the baby and our middle child (boy) amd we alternate the babys bottle and rocking to sleep
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My partner would just look at me and laugh to be honest. We have exactly the same lifestyle as you, except ours are 6m 20m and 3yrs, he works 12hr shifts and by time he’s home, spent 5mins with the babies and had his dinner the last thing he would want to do poor soul is rock some one to sleep. We goto bed at 11pm ish and up again 5am so we both know how it is to be tired, but how I see it as is, he does a physically draining job and I get the privilege of being at home watching my babies grow. I wouldn’t even dare ask out of respect. But that’s my personal opinion, I chose to be a stay at home mum and he chooses to give me that life. So tired or not I look after him 
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Yeah his sleep shouldn’t come before his kids. My partner works away all week, works long hours and last night he slept in bed with our 16m old who’s been teething and waking during the night so I could sleep in our bed and get a full night sleep. He gets up with the kids and does the same as me day and night when he’s home. It’s equal.
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I hit my husband in the face with a pillow so hard in bed one night when he wouldn’t wake up with our daughter after arguing about it for months. We both worked. I only woke up with her. If the pillow didn’t work im thinking try something harder like a cast iron skillet. Let me know.
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I get where he’s coming from. My daughter is now 4 and still hasn’t shaken the habit if being rocked to sleep. It really doesn’t need to be every night. If it was up to me alone she would’ve been rocked to sleep less. This is the reason I think independent sleep training is so important.
Ask him if he would please trade places with you for 4 years. You work all day and come home and put the little one to sleep. It just might work🤷♀️
Girl I’m living a similar life. Stay at home mom of 4. 2-12…my eight year old is autistic… and he’s out of town about four weeks a month. And I can barely get him to pitch in.
You’re feelings are valid!! I understand him wanting to get to bed since he (better) probably has to get up earlier than you. Unless he has stayed home with kids he will not understand you. You can tell him how you feel and why and what you need from him. I would then tell him, “I just can’t keep up with everything and take care of myself, I’m going to have to stop doing some things that I really enjoy around here (laundry, dinner, etc) unless you’re able to help out with this.” It’s not “the least” you could do!! You work just as hard (if not harder) than he does.
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If it takes that long then I agree with him I’m he needs get sleep so he can do his job to keep you all going working when going bad late not having much sleep is dangerous doesn’t matter what kind of job it is I would never of let my hubby do that when he working when the girls was babies I wouldn’t even let him get up in the night with them even tho he did a couple of times because he said I look peaceful so he didn’t want to wake me but your husband is yet he can’t do that for ages just think once you put baby to sleep you will get some peaceful time then & what about buying a cot that swings saves you both the job
It’s his kids too. 50-50. My partner & i are both mechanics, he works 6 days a week. It’s hard going for him. He still comes home & does his share with the kids. I’m a stay at home parent of 2 kids, it’s hard going too. One weekend a month, i go to work & it can be back to back 14 hour shifts with the cars. He takes days off to care for the kids on those days. We both work equally hard, as & when we are needed. I’ve worked alongside him in the garage & know how hard he works, he knows what i deal with day to day with the kids & we both appreciate each other’s hard work. If you’re not happy with something, change it. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. You’ll be waiting a long time x
My partner works, 6-6 every day, I’ve gone back to part time evenings and he has our daughter 5 nights a week, gives her tea, baths her and gets her to sleep. There’s no excuse in my eyes. Parents share the same responsibilities. My partner is a roofer so is non stop all day. He has no issues helping out with OUR daughter. We used to have disagreements until covid hit and he couldn’t work and j got a temporary full time job and he saw what I did all day everyday and experienced it himself x
I wouldn’t and couldn’t accept this my husband works full time and always has since our kids were small ( I work again now they older ) but to me I took care of the house and kids through the day while he worked then it was a team effort once he was home and also through the night I wouldn’t be expected to be a single parent or id rather be a single parent it would come with less jobs, you say he’s a good father but reading this I struggle to see how and where good dads are there for their kids all the time not when they feel like it
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See I really dnt no we both work full time but my husband works permanent nights so iv always did the night then get up for a full day at work but he will help if he off but is see his point he has to get up on a mornig to go work and ur stayin home but then I see ur side as it not easy to stay home with the kids all day either lol it a hard one
What working has to do with making right with your child ???
seriously… why do men even agree to kids if they don’t want to deal with them. so he gets up to work in the am…what time do the kids wake you up? not sure why it all falls on the woman. being a stay at home mom is hard work too and sometimes you need a break as well.
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You don’t work u stay home u bless to do that .quite batching let sleep
My bf doesn’t really do much either unless I’m hurt
DADS are Also Dads 24/7 Stay at Home Mums Are not There to work 24/7 both consived your Son Both Are responsible for His Needs time Should be shared at Night with you both, Mum is also a stressfull Job .
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Seriously? So what if he doesn’t care for rocking the child to sleep. I can’t believe some of the questions women ask
Fuck the lazy cunt off
Single mother raised 4 kids alone plus worked most of those years. I understand what you’re saying about it being time consuming but working on the pipeline so you can stay home is exhausting too. Plus rocking an 18 month old is only creating a habit that’s only going to be harder to shake later
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Honestly. At 18 months they approved l should be able to fall asleep on their own. I would maybe start weining them so they can find a comfort to fall asleep on their own. I know you’re exhausted but if sleep is that important to him by the end of the day, it would really help you both.
18 months is too old dear
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Simple…let him know …cherish them… babies won’t be babies forever ever…
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At 18 months old the child should not need rocking to sleep, put him in the bed and tell him it’s bedtime and time to go to sleep. He is not a baby anymore ! He’s a toddler!
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Don’t marry sexist men and tell yourself how lucky you are he works so hard. You’re both parents. He doesn’t value your time and he doesn’t want to help. I’m not sure what makes him a wonderful father. He’s a provider. You are the caregiver. The roles are clear to him, you seem to have an issue but this should have been figured out before you decided to stay home. I don’t agree with stay at home mom lifestyles Bc it’s a 24 hour job that no one ever considers. His attitude isn’t cool but I don’t think it’ll change.
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Copy pasted my reply to another…
(In regards to his work and how demanding it is) that’s really not the point here which is what alot of the comments here seem to be missing.
Regardless of workload, that kid is BOTH of theirs. She’s doing everything else and has nooo issue with that. Her only request is that he helps her at night to put the kid to bed once in a while, not even every night.
That is not uncalled for, that’s not asking too much, she is doing everything else and asking for help with one thing.
Being busy at work, or having a demanding job does not absolve you of parenting. You had all that going on before and decided to have a kid anyways. One task is all shes asking for, and honestly, that’s very minimal considering.
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The “rocking” years are the sweetest; an, they fly by all to quickly. Before you know it, those special moments will be gone. If your husband doesn’t feel up to doing the rocking, he will regret it later. Hold your baby as long as he needs you. You will be so glad that you did.
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No we’ve all been there. I don’t think they realize we just need a little break every now and then. Being home w the young ones is tough and exhausting
I guess your husband is not a daddy figure.
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Your son is a little old to be rocking… in my opinion. I would lay him in his bed and have dad pat his back. Maybe play a little music. He needs to learn to self soothe, too. No one will wanna watch your son because he is so dependent! Sucks but it’s true. Good luck to you💕
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You created a habit, not dad. Not every parent agrees with rocking their child to sleep. Especially at the end of a long day. I love giving my 18 month old kisses and watching him grab his blanket, climb in bed, cuddle his animal, and go to sleep on his own. Peacefully. Start working on teaching him to go to sleep without being rocked. It’s beneficial for children to learn and develop independence. If you think that’s unfair, then rock him yourself.
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I agree that it might be time your little one starts to soothe himself.
However, rocking him to sleep does create quite a bond in baby and parent. You SO may sense that and it may be even harder on him to feel those things when he is so tired and can’t be as active a participant as often as he wants.
When my littles want snuggles is exhausting but when I give in (reasonably) it really does ground me in their prescience/present and create a stronger bond between us over all.
I set a rule that i hold them and they get one song before bedtime. Maybe that will help dad? Sing a song during a snuggle and that’s it. Maybe it will be easier for them all if they know there is a time limit/boundary? That tiny effort will create such a deeper connection and bond that you won’t even realize unless you take it away again. Start slow with dad… he may be feelings vulnerabilities that he doesnt understand or appreciate. It’s a process, you need to worth through it together.
One day he’d do anything to hold that baby again…enjoy every cuddling moment you can get!!! They are never too old to be snuggled at bedtime and yes I have a almost 15 yr old and 11 yr old I’d do anything do snuggle with again sometimes so I still lay with my 5 yr old every night for at least 30 mins because I can amd he wants me to
My daughter is 6 and I still rock her.
If he doesn’t want that contact with his child then it is his loss. What other nurturing moments is he going to ignore or just choose not to do in the life of his child? The baby won’t remember this but if he continues like this eventually the child will realize it and their relationship will suffer
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Stop judging this woman and saying her baby is too old. Acting like yall are the perfect parents🙄 There’s no manual, if a child wants to be rocked, loved, and held, DONT judge!!! Babies aren’t babies too long.
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I’m a little upset that everyone is telling her how to mother? When was it okay to bash a mom that decided to rock her child to sleep at 18m old? That’s like telling her to nurse because it’s better because they get all your immunities but we all know FED is best.
I know your husband works his ass off but so do you. 
He should help out as soon as he gets home. Their his kids, too. Saying this, you need to communicate with him. State I feel instead of I think. Calmly let him know that when he helps out at bedtime it helps you in more ways than one. Then say to him what you said to us about having a little break is all you need from time to time. Not every night but just on those overwhelming days. You will grow to resent him if you continue on this way. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Being a mom is hard. Sadly some men just don’t understand what stay at home moms do all day. Hoping for the best for you!
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Yes I forced my husband to at least take weekends he argued too at first. Now it’s normal routine
Maybe try a new bedtime routine that doesn’t require rocking him to sleep. And staying on a good schedule i strongly recommend. Good luck momma.
Short answer, neither of you are wrong.
Long answer: it’s a battle for balance. You are both equally tired at the end of the day from working, difference is your husband leaves his job at the end of the day and you spend 24 hours a day doing the same thing on repeat. There is no simple way to solve to the issues at hand cuz both sides are justified. It WILL end. Things will get better. Soon your baby will be more independent and need less things from you and you will get the space you need.
Being a stay at home is hard. I did it until my youngest was 5 years old. my husband and I are still together and our relationship is stronger than ever.
Does your baby have to be rocked to sleep…? If you feel so then I think you need to. I wasn’t rocking my baby at 18 months after a long day at work. Now shaming you for wanting to, to each their own but…. You shouldn’t shame him either.
Why are you constantly rocking a baby. Just stop it and the drama is over. Your hubby works hard all day and so do you. If he asked you to do an hours work in the local shop every night, would you? It’s the same. Let the baby sleep without rocking. It’s a bad habit.
Hes a real man out there working supporting the family at a physically demanding job…Give him a break…Being a stay at home mom does have its days when its hard… get you a part time person to help you out a little during the day…You rock that child at night…
Plan a weekend getaway…for just you or with a friend. Let him find out how much work it is to be “on” 24/7.
I raised 4 children on my own. I never rocked my children to sleep. As babies they had an afternoon sleep and in the evening I put them to bed around 19.00 hours. If they cried I went upstairs to see if anything was wrong. It never was, but I whispered a few words and went back downstairs and let them cry. Here in Holland we called it cry hour, not that they cried for an hour, it was a saying. I’m from a diffirent age group, but I do know that by ‘‘spoiling’’ a baby/todler to get it to sleep, like rocking is wrong.
And don’t get me wrong: I love my children to the moon and back! And they know it and feel it in their hearts.
Stop rocking your baby! It will be hard in the beginning, but your child will get used to it.
I validate your feelings & totally get where you are coming from. I have a very helpful, involved husband but I will say we had to stop rocking to sleep for our sake. I know it is sweet and you enjoy that time but if/when you have other children you are setting yourself up for bedtime disaster. We have 2 littles & 1 on the way and when other babies come especially if they’re close in age like ours and share a bedtime you will not be able to rock both & you cannot physically be present for multiples in multiple rooms at the same time without having a bedtime routine that lasts hours. I am speaking from experience. I would suggest a modified night routine, bath, book, bed is our routine. We bathe, read to them together, & off to bed. Kids go to their own bed and go to sleep on their own (now that they are a little older they are allowed a quiet toy or book to look at while they fall asleep). Not only does this free up a couple of hours of our evening to get some things done if needed, it allows my husband and I some time together before my husband needs to go to bed for work. Being a SAHM is exhausting, make sure you are communicating with family or friends regularly and get out of the house often. Being a SAHM with a spouse that works long hours and has a very physically demanding job can feel lonely and isolating but you are doing a great job raising your little just make sure you make time for yourself & your marriage too. 
Therapy. He can’t hear you. He probably will hear it from someone else. He has to understand that how ever many hours he works, you work and y’all split the rest.
Why are you rocking him to sleep you should be able to put him in his bed or crib or whatever and he go to sleep on his own you’re making yourself more work than you need to none of my kids have ever been rocked to sleep they’re going to sleep schedule they go to bed at a certain time every night put them in their beds of their cribs and that’s it he doesn’t need to be rocked to sleep give yourself a break I don’t mean to be judgmental but you’re making yourself more work than you need to
i had 4 under 4 my job was to stay home and look after boys and home then at weekends we shared the chorse and childrens needs he was working 3am till 7pm 5 days half day on sat i also kept big garden sorted but then we didnt have mobiles pc ete to distract us