My husband refuses to touch me unless I shower...advice?

My husband refuses to touch me at night unless I take a shower before bed…We have been married for 5 years and this has been a recent thing and I do not get it…it makes me feel dirty…what could cause this sudden change?

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As uncomfortable as the conversation, unfortunately the only one who can answer about the sudden change, is him.

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I’ve honestly always been like this and so is my boyfriend. But the sudden change is what would have me going crazy. He’s the only one that can answer that for you and you should ask him. If you have a gut feeling about something… I wouldn’t dismiss that either.

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Man my hubby don’t even care. But for 22 years of marriage I take a bath every night before bed. But it’s also because I like getting into my bed clean.

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I won’t touch my husband either unless he showers, it always is just “sweaty/musty” smelling I like a fresh man. Lol
Kinda either that’s a new thing though, but my man’s the same way if we both don’t shower we both aren’t intimate lol

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You both should shower, so you can enjoy each other without hesitation.

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I like for both of us to have a shower before …

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Just a suggestion shower together. It could help get you both in the mood before bed and provide intimacy before the deed. Who knows you might end up doing it before bed

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He doesn’t feel that he should take a shower before bed but you should?

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My husband n I both showered after dinner n we worked in offices what’s he big deal. Shower together n have fun.

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maybe there is a sudden change in your smell or possibly BO. I personally recommend to shower before bed each night

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How often do you shower for the day ?

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I shower or have the person shower before we do anything. I’ve been doing this since I started having relations. I don’t like the smell of sweat or certain scents. I like the smell of Clean :slight_smile:

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Love after shower sexy time! It’s the best!

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It makes me sad to know that people thought this post was funny. Are you able to ask him why he’s recently started doing this and have an open dialog about it?

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We shower before sexy time. Period

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Always shower and always ask questions!

If I get the chance to have a disturbance free shower while the husband finishes up getting the house or kids ready for bedtime I call that a blessing haha

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Me and my man are the same way but we work in factories so we stink after the days work lol :joy:

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I’m kinda the same way I like to be clean and my man be clean too😆

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As you get older ph balance gets different and releases different odors than younger you. Same goes for the male. No one wants their nose by unpleasant odor. Have him join you for some shower foreplay fun!

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I would just be straight up with him. Better than sitting and wondering.

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So ask him, or take a shower. Super easy either way.

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Tell him to get shower first.

We usually take a bath before hand either desperately or together and also do showers or a bath after aswell
We do shower and bath Alot as I love my baths and love to be clean as does he xx

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Well take a shower you’ll be happy

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Respect each other take a shower , not a problem!!

You need to shower :shower: :rofl: :joy:

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My husband and I don’t have sex unless we have both showered first. It’s always been that way. I don’t see the problem?

No it’s completely normal I been with my partner 10 yesrs we still shower ! sometimes if we have a quickie we don’t… I asked my partner too. He loves the fresh body feel and so do I now :heart: don’t stress gf

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Does he shower before bed???

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Personally, I have always been the same way. I make whoever I’m with shower first. It’s just a common decency thing

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Why wouldn’t you want to shower before bed? I can’t imagine getting into my bed with work on me

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Yeah it seems bazar that it’s new- I would understand if it was something he always did- I would ask him to tell you what’s up!!!

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Why are you surprised? Me and my husband always take showers before we do anything else, I don’t want to smell body odour etc…
Your one probably had enough of you stinking, finally had courage to ask you to take a shower :rofl:

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Look if my husband wants to feed me some chorizo then he better shower! I don’t wanna come back from the gym and it be smelly and sweaty :nauseated_face:

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I would rather shower after :upside_down_face:

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Shower together, problem solved

What about your ph balance?

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Why Would you want him to if u ain’t showered :joy:

Totally normal I’d agree! Maybe he has waited five years to ask you to. I’m repulsed if my partner doesn’t shower before bed.

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Just have a shower…only takes 5 mins

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I mean… I’m the same way. No one wants to have stinky dirty sex. unless it’s a kink :rofl:

Maybe he should be a man and give you a reason, I mean besides wanting a clean kitty .:rofl: or maybe you have an odor?not being rude but it happens Either way ya need a shower anyhow.:woman_shrugging:t2:

Some people like the smell of a fresh shower and some are attracted to a person’s natural scent. I don’t find anything wrong with having a preference. I def don’t think it’s disgusting to be intimate if you haven’t showered as long as you don’t smell bad. I surely don’t wanna taste mens body wash though and in my experience guys usually prefer like natural scent but my experience is limited so idk.

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Go buy some Gracefully Natural and thank me later :rofl::sparkling_heart::100:

I been with my husband 17 years, we used to not care about making sure we showered right before sexy time, now as we age, I do care because at the time we met we were just kids, as u grow u learn more about your body and as you age your pH balance and hormones change as well, I wouldn’t take offense. I think he is just maybe trying to say ur smell is off and he doesn’t want to come off mean.

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Turn it around and ask him to come join you in the shower. You can jump start your intimacy. Honestly I love feeling super clean prior to the deed.

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Take that shower together. Nothing wrong with starting the sensuality already naked.

Maybe cause he is dirty and wants to make sure your clean?

So shower … it’s not that hard

I say a good conversation should be had whether you’re ready for it or not. Something happened.

Her point is that it’s NEW behaviour! She understands that the solution is to shower.
But why the sudden change? Doesn’t bode well for spontaneity.

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I thought Taking a shower before you let someone in the private areas was just normal practice. Maybe you have a smell he don’t like when you don’t shower and he don’t want to upset you by telling you this. That would be my assumption. But if I know we gonna have fun in the bedroom before bed I will shower and he does too… i mean naturally we shower daily. Lol. I’m a any time I feel up to it. And he’s a morning bather. But we do get a clean fresh clean smell going on if sex is involved. And sometimes after :crazy_face::joy:

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I shower every night before bed as it helps me sleep better… especially when I have clean sheets!!! But also, my husband knows no shower no anything, lol! I like how he smells when he gets out of the shower… way better than he does after working all day.

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I would just straight up ask him.
No one can answer this question but him. Going to the internet can fill your head with unnecessary insecurities (cheating) and cause problems that don’t even exist.
Just ask him. :blush:

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I could shower and mine still wouldn’t touch me.

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Everyone should shower before getting into nice clean bed. Humans are pretty disgusting

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I prefer myself and my husband showed day of because I’m really prone to UTI’s and yeast infections. It’s annoying and isn’t always followed for spur of the moment situations

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Sounds like your ass stinks. Wash it.

Why wouldn’t you shower???

So maybe shower. I don’t see the issue?
I personally find it gross not to shower first, but that’s me. You have the days sweat on you.

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I won’t let my husband touch me unless I shower lol.

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That’s funny. I don’t invite anyone over unless I shower.

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I don’t see nothing wrong with that.

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It’s been so hot here, maybe he is trying to tell you something,

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Ask him. Or shower.
I don’t like my husband getting into bed before showering after he works all day….and then expects my face near dirty items :joy::woman_shrugging:t2: same respect is given back.

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Maybe your lady parts have a scent and he doesn’t like it :pensive:

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As we age- hormones change🤷‍♀️Both men & women

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Somethings I wish I could unread thing’s.

Hygiene is so important, sexy time or not. Showering is a must

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I don’t like to have sex unless I know I’m fresh showered. I don’t like feeling dirty during sex. And trust me it makes for much better sex if you are both fresh n clean. Don’t take it offensively. Like others said you might of started having a smell he don’t like. Thats ok. It happens. Just shower for him and have him shower too.

Ask him how many times a day his lover showers……

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Maybe he got a whiff or something once and is trying to prevent that from happening again so it’s not a mood killer

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No big deal , He has every right to ask

U stink! He finally experienced what a clean :heart_eyes_cat: is like!

The majority of humans shower in the morning or upon getting up and starting their day and

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to be honest I would ask why The Recent Change… Then I would Ask him how about We Shower together

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I would want to be clean before any type of sexual activity everyone uses the bathroom daily and you sweat you don’t want to have odor smell so yea both should be showered.

Why would he want to be on someone who hadn’t showered.

Me and my husband shower if we want anything. I would feel bad if I was a little ripe and didn’t know it

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Did he watch any videos about the germs we pick up through the day? That almost turned me into one of those people I stg! :rofl: just ask him.

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I don’t get in bed without showering and wouldn’t want him touching me unless I take a shower things get sweaty . Also I won’t touch my man unless he showers either :woman_shrugging:

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Just ask him?
I don’t like doing it either unless we’ve both had a shower first. Bodies get sweaty and dirty during the day, at least wash it off beforehand.
If you’ve been together 5 years he should have no issue telling you why.

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Showering isn’t the worst thing. :woman_shrugging:t3: I’ve been married for 23 years and have always showered…having sexy time or not. Take. A. Shower. Maybe he’s being nice and not trying to tell you that you’re musty. :kissing_heart:

We both shower before. I ain’t risking being stinky

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It’s all about consideration. If he’s asking you to why not accommodate him. Wouldn’t you want him to do the same if you were the one asking?

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Whats wrong with being clean? Would you take care of him if he came in from work or being out in the yard all day?. You know you wouldn’t so why should he?

He wants to make sure the smell he’s smelling isn’t him lol :joy:

I wouldn’t worry about it
I’ve known women who do the same thing with their partners

I mean my family showers before bed every night :sweat_smile: I wouldn’t want to be intimate with someone who hadn’t showered either :woman_shrugging:t3: it wouldn’t completely stop me, but it’s good hygiene regardless

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I thought everyone showered before then get in their bed?

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Ask him why. You could be nose blind to whatever he’s smelling. Could be a sweat odor, your ph balance could be off or maybe even an infection of some kind.

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Sudden changes mean there’s a high possibility that there’s someone else.

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I always make sure I shower before sex so I don’t understand NOT showering before. So if he felt the need to tell you something then maybe he caught a wiff of something he didn’t like.

Yep gotta be clean especially if he’s going to chow down

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He prob thinks you stink leave him

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Ask your husband why the sudden change. You should be able to count on him being honest with you.

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Ask him why? Maybe your hormones have changed effecting odor or taste don’t take it to heart as hard as it is. Our areas are very sensitive and can change so maybe just open the convo in a gentle way where he feels safe to give an honest answer.

Maybe he just likes you smelling fresh :person_shrugging: I don’t see a problem with it. I ask my husband to shower before bed :person_shrugging:

Im like that. But after he comes from work. . So ur doing ur thing all day, he prob read or seen wat the vaj-ja bacteria can hold so now suprising. . If it was a women asking a man it wud say she doesnt trust him… instead its more bout hygiene