My husband and I have been together 5 years, married 3. We met at and work for the same company. Before getting married he told me he’d been intimately involved with a few women, and I was okay with that because it was before me. He told me, everyone at work, that he’d been with. Since I’m a supervisor, I’d have to oversee them and always remain professional, which I have. I can’t be upset over girls he dated before me. Last week as I was talking to a co-worker, she told me that one of my subordinates whom I had written up was going to grieve the discipline due to me only disciplining her because she slept with my husband before we were married. I was completely shocked and taken back because my husband never told me about her. I honestly had no idea he’d been with her. Now they are planning to question my motive for the discipline due to her alleging I’m only picking on her. I was so angry with my husband. I haven’t spoken to him in a few days because I’m so upset that he didn’t tell me about her. She and I had had issues for a long time, even before I started seeing him, and he would hear me talk about her and never once told me he’d been with her. When I asked him, he admitted it and said he didn’t have to tell me because it was before me. I still can’t help feeling hurt, sad, and a little disgusted. What are your thoughts?? Am I overreacting???
You are definitely not overreacting…he should have told you about her… he told you about everyone else… now you’re the one looking weird because you didn’t know and they think it’s because of that… I would be pissed.
Why would you even be with someone that has been through your whole coworkers🤦🏼♀️ I could never waste my energy on passed through men like that
Your man sounds like a work office slut…
Conflict of interest! This is why companies have some restrictions about dating at work place. Him sleeping around with more thn one person at work should have been a red flag. Management level and dating at work ? 
How infuriating. He has put you in a terrible situation professionally and I’d leave him NOW. this is a no win situation for you and your career with the company. Also, if he is a supervisor he can lose his job. I’m sorry but I’d distance myself from him immediately and salvage my career.
I would get him to. Leave
You deserve better.
If you have reason she is not doing her duties it deserves a write up. I would be pissed with him ?
I think you should pull her to the side and talk to her, you husband isn’t going to save you from loosing that job if it does become something bigger.
He still keeping his herd…sleeping with multiple co workers and not talking about one in particular…huge red flags…
You aren’t;overeacting. He should’ve;been honest&told you about;her like everyone else. I would;be pissed now. If they’re;both maybe losing jobs caused by being involved dating co workers. You’re gonna;have to make some hard decision(s)like staying a couple or not. Counseling maybe;but trust get’s broken like that.
Maybe overreacting. Because earlier (sentence 4 or 5 in main paragraph) in post you said he said he had been with everyone there.
What happened to the nails? Jesus , start a “Dear Nail Lady” page, but can we get back to business!
And FYI, if you have to ask what to do when your spouse cheats , then stick around and wait for the next time!
I don’t understand how you can be in trouble for writing someone up as their superior. Regardless of the situation beforehand . If she did something wrong , punishment needs to be met . That’s what I would tell your boss , or whoever she complains to . You have protocol I’m sure ? & I’m assuming you followed protocol before writing her up . I wouldn’t worry about it & I would just let them know that she’s using that against you & you had no idea .
If you have proof the offense deserved discipline EVERYTHING else doesn’t matter… as far as hubby… I’d be concerned what else he is OMITTING and yes it was b4 you so in most cases it shouldn’t matter BUT your circumstances are different his relationships or lack there of are jeopardizing your livelihood.
LEAVING THIS GROUP. Joined for nails not personal issues.
As long as you have facts backing your decision to discipline this work colleague you shouldn’t have an issue , as for your husband I would be asking him why he did not tell you about that one , he told you about all the rest he slept with there …
I can’t see this working out well for you. I know this puts you in a bad position but your husband made some bad decisions dating multiple at work and now because of your position you will be a target. We’re at the tail end of a pandemic but I’d be looking to leave that place of employment.
He didn’t tell you about her because she was special … You should definitely be worried about the fact that u married him because he obviously still have feelings for her since he left her out out his confession.
Career or husband who sleep around??? Paychecks never really disappointed me
In all honesty you could be upset but get over it and focus on bringing the facts to why you had to discipline the worker. If you focus so much on the why it’s gonna make you look guilty. Give the facts and leave it be it’s old anyway.
In my opinion, you either need a new man or a new job (surrounded by his harem).
Proof why your disciplining her and if you can transfer it to another Supervisor even better. Long hard conversation with this man after 5 years still keeping secrets. I would reevaluate my marriage.
Admin: please don’t delete this tread.
GET A AN ATTORNEY & COVER YOUR ASS!!!
If this is happening in California please remember this is a litigious society and don’t be surprised if you are being set up.
It’s similar to insurance scams. In this case its not an actual sexual act it is the way it is handled !!!
There is more $$$ involved on 3rd party claims grievances such as this one, because the company is violating laws that they not even aware of.
Protect yourself, protect your company you gave to keep a paper trail.
In this particular instance ALL the evidence will be what type if documentation you provide.
& get off of facebook.
You might be in position to a claim yourself if your company lets you go.
CYA
Admin: Nails are for mostly for women. Please allow us to show support to each other.
We need money to get our nails done and if we don’t have work we have nothing to discuss about nails. This is important!
Perhaps he never told you about her as you and her already clashed before you got together?
I can see why he did that, if that was the reason. To stop any further bad feelings between the two of you.
She sounds jealous and is using her telling off as a way of getting at both of you.
If she did wrong, then she deserves it. As long as you have stayed professional, then it will come good.
This is why you don’t date coworkers. Don’t shit where you eat.
im hardly the one to give advise but since you asked ,
It’s actually very unprofessional that this is the route that your employee/company is taking. But you do have proof that your husband never told you about her. Also like a few ladies stated as long as you have proof of why you’re writing her up you will be fine. As for him, I’d be pissed off. If he could tell you about all the other women, why couldn’t he tell you about her? Was he embarrassed by her? Does he still have some sort of feelings left for her? Lastly, no I don’t think you’re overreacting. Good luck to you and your family.
Sad. Your marriage has now become political. It seems as though you have 2 options. Save your marriage, or save your job.
Are you sure he’s still not sleeping with any of them? The fact that he’s not being honest would be enough to make even me suspicious.
I personally would let it go and adjust to situation with maturity and understanding no animosity forgiveness approach her if necessary peacefully and try to resolve the issue and your husband forgive him love him and tallllkkkk believe me life is toooo short.
That’s why you’re not supposed to date people you work with. It never ends well
He should have been open, honest and respectful of your working relationship and told you.
I wouldn’t worry about your work, I’d be more concerned to who I’ve married
No, he should have been honest with you from the start and the entire scenario could have been avoided. He sounds… messy.
You chose these problems. You married community dyck. And then he was social dycking where yall work and he told you about most of them. And mow your surprised about this one?
Uhm. Yeah
The End
Dang… Hes slept with that many women at the work place???
Sounds to me like she was jealous of your relationship and took it out on you. Therefore causing an issue between you without you knowing the real reason why. I would tell your work about all the other women he slept with and that you did know about them and have not had an issue with them. Explain that you had not been told about this one and therefore it was not an issue and nothing to do with her dismissal.
He sounds like a pig
He slept with a lot of co workers. I would have run!
The question is who didn’t he sleep with. Go find another job for your own mental well being. You shouldn’t have to move jobs but it sounds like you’ll come up against this time and time again.
Maybe take a poll at work and see who he hasnt slept with,then theres no more surprises ,he sounds like a real gem.Im sorry for you hes a dirty bird hes going to cause you alot of drama where you both work good luck you deserve better.
Complete honesty is the only way for you to resolve your problems with this female also complete honesty is the only way a marriage can work.
You and her already had issues. Telling you could have escalated things. I mean all you can do is be honest that your husband was fourth right about a few but not that one in particular. It seems he might have kept that one secret to keep problems minimal but it’s biting you now
You are DEFINITELY not overreacting!!
Wow. You must be hurting. He should jave told you about everyone hes been intimate with at work! Are there any other secrets hes hiding from you? If be peed off big time.
I thought there was a law/rule where spouses/family couldn’t work together for this very reason. 
Your private life & work life should be seperate; for at least your sanity. I for one am not sure how the hell you can see him at home & work all the time.
Girl. I just want to go drink a beer with you and hug your neck. You aren’t wrong, but seek your husbands heart, not the internets. Copy and paste to his phone and ask him to talk with you. This isn’t the forum. You need a quiet place with him…or the last booth at a podunk bar with a girl that will support your marriage. It’s tough. This hurts my heart. But it’s doable my friend!! Come to new Mexico, real green chile and beer, you’ll be ok 
hang in there please, I bet he worth it, clearly you are.
You’re man’s a hoe. Divorce and run.
Well no I don’t think he had to tell you but to me it sounds like he actively chose to withhold that information from you 
But he already tld u 4rm bgining… 4rm ur writing u mentiond he said all he’s eva worked with so u are der n knw all d females he may not remember c all der names…any oda one shudnt surprise u na, cleaner, gatewoman, etc
Yes! Ur overreacting! Farrout! BEFORE YOU!
She should start checking how many friends and neighbors he’s slept with also js lol🤷
In regards to the grievance, your rebuttal should Flip it around - her grievance on you is because she’s jealous you married the man she had a fling with
I’m sure you have documented everything so don’t be worried
But as for your man… you should listen to your gut
You need to change jobs or your husband does…
I would most definitely not be able to be with a husband who has slept with “everyone” in the work place. It’s just too uncomfortable 
One of you gotta find a different job! There’s always gonna be drama as long as you two work together! You need that time away from one another.
You can’t fix stupid.
That’s being mad for the sake of being mad. It was before your time with him. Given the around this; I can just see so many risk factors.
You are definitely in a sticky situation.
This is why you don’t work with a spouse
You married community peen… knowingly. It is what it is sis…
Nope not overreacting and your husband sounds like he’s been around that office too much.
As far as your working relationship is as long as you have documented every conversation with her and make sure you have a co worker with you when you with or around her you should be fine as it sounds like the right motives are there but as far as your relationship at home goes different issues of lack of respect from your husband towards you and any woman really when u think about it … if you love each other enough need to seek counselling… but I am surprised though that work had allowed this relationship to blossom thought it would breach professionalism in the workplace…
You need a new fucking husband or better yet no husband at all
Why post this on Facebook
Normally it shouldn’t matter, but you being in a unique position of power and him telling you about everyone but her makes this whole thing feel yucky. He should have been honest with you if he was trying to be honest with you in the first place.
Leave with good notice for better pastures. He will fuck your job up. Take it from me.
He’s lying by omission and now he is jeopardizing your career. Is this really the way you want to spend your life? Being lied to and constantly worrying if you have all the information or even truthful information? Worrying what else could be jeopardized because of him? Always having to defend yourself when you did nothing wrong? Run. This is so dysfunctional and honestly sounds like a miserable way to live.
How many co workers has he been with 
Does anyone actually work there
This gives me Grey’s Anatomy vibes. 
Yeah. Your overreacting. Give the company the list of girls he fucked to prove that it’s because her actions at work… not her actions of spreading her legs 
as far as your man goes he didn’t tell you because he knows the reaction it would get. If he didn’t fuck her after your together then what’s the issue??
Why are people with guys or girls that have been with a lot of co workers in the first place (maybe he or she has been with Co workers since you are married either) and if so why one of them don’t change departments or company or find another job if it is against your feelings.
He’s likely still cheating on you with her x
Just have your husband tell your supervisor that you didn’t know. He’s right. On the one hand, he didn’t have to tell you, but because of your job, I definitely think he should have. It just would have been the right thing to do.
I’d find another job, sounds like alot of conflict of interest and drama.
Work is work and I would fight for your job. After all, you had no idea.
And on a side note, that is one reason employers don’t like fraternizing with other employees. Causes much more than friction.
He probably didn’t tell you because he’s either still carrying on with her or had feelings for her at some point. But there’s a definite reason why. Hate to be blunt but you asked. And I’m assuming she’s had feelings for him or still does because the two of you have had issues.
Find another job and lose the womaniser …
He needs to keep it in his pants
Get a better husband that hasn’t slept with the whole department
My thoughts are your job is on the line and this is a good reason why u shouldn’t date in the workplace.
Also, I don’t do seconds so that’s a hell to the no for me lol girls probably laughing at u because they done had him. Ew…
Leave him and find a new job.
Kick him out
Change your job
Happy days
I never commented before but… I always say… NEVER DIP THE PEN IN COMPANY INK 
That’s y it’s not good to date co workers
If it was before you you can’t be mad! On the other hand this is why you don’t date, sleep with, marry people from work.
Just how many women has he slept with at work?
Sounds to me like he still sleeping with her. Its the reason he didn’t tell you so u wouldn’t have a clue to keep eye on them. Plus its the reason the girl is mad. #dontscrewcoworkers
I’d be asking he hasn’t done not who he has
I honestly wouldn’t trust him let alone marry him
But good luck with that one
Once a player always a player
Hate to say it but if he told you about everyone else and not her there is a good chance its because something is still going on there. 
Find another place of employment and insist on counseling immediately. If he will not go along with that there is a big issue in your marriage.
I could not imagine being in the company of all of these women that had engaged in sexual experiences with my husband. It’s time for a change
You guys are horrible making jokes when she’s clearly just trying to ask for help in navigating her situation … no one would say this to her face either… despicable
Did he sleep with the whole female team or…?
Dam you all can’t get no one outside work you losers go to a bar like normal people then you don’t have to spend your life with these people in a F****. Feast like desperate idiots, never F the help remember that it’s not a good look for you
Why are you still working at the place you met your partner at who admitted he had all these flings with? Every person is going to cause issues and lie saying that you are taking it out on them for sleeping with your partner before you, you REALLY want to deal with that for years on end? No person should ever work where their partner works, it ruins the relationship and makes more drama at work AND at home.
Once a dog, always a dog. Leave & save yourself before you have more grief. Find a new place to work & consider yourself lucky.