Those of you who’s husbands, boyfriends, etc that don’t spend a lot of time with you how do you deal with it? My husband came home at 4 this morning from his mom’s house. He left our house at 6pm yesterday. I feel like he cares about his brother more than he does us. I have talked to him so many times about it. He promised me things will change. They do for a little while then he slides back. It’s so frustrating.
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I will never not be the priority. I’d rather be alone.
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My husband and I do our own things. We have our own interests and hobbies and we make it a point to spend every Friday night together going to dinner or staying in and watching movies. I spend a lot of time with my family and he prefers to stay home and watch ball games with friends. Occasionally he goes with me. He’s more of a home body and I’m always go go go. We trust each other and have never had a reason not to. Do you ever go with him? Maybe go once a month so he’s not always alone there. I can see both sides of this.
Next time.Just make a trip over there yourself and see what is going on.If you really want to know.
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Start going with the gentleman. Tell him you want to spend time with him. 
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I honestly had to fill my time with things that I enjoy doing. My husband works a lot, and when he comes home he games (to destress) and then sleeps. So my time with him is minimal. It still upsets me, but we also have 5 kids… so I’m kept busy between them and homeschooling my son, and schooling myself.
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Sounds sketchy. I wouldn’t want to be with a man who had to be asked to spend time with me, if I wasn’t his first choice that would be a deal breaker.
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Had this happen with my ex. Actually one of the reasons hes an ex. My now fiance is incredible and loves spending time with me. Dont settle
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Do the same too him. See how he likes it !
I don’t know, but that’s not normal.
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Honestly if you’ve talked to him about it and he hasn’t changed he doesn’t want to. If you have friends or family you could stay with for a little while to clear your head and see from a different perspective I would.
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I would suggest finding a good friend and spending time with that person and maybe he’ll know what it feels like if he cares. My hubby loves hanging out with me. If he wasn’t here I wouldn’t have anyone to be honest. During the times he’s with his mom and brother I spend more time with family.
Not to be that person but I would put a device on his car and make sure he’s telling you the truth.
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Get get out and start a new life. You deserve to be treated better than this. It will be a hard Road but it will be worth it.
Sounds like he has someone on the side or his family doesn’t like you and is turning him against you.
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Just choose one night a week that is dedicated to the 2 of you
Yeah he ain’t seeing his brother 
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I’d start sleeping over my “mommas” house too
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Definitely offer to go with him next time see how he reacts. Just say you’d like to see everyone.
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Get a sitter and start going out with your friends. If he don’t want to be with you, find someone who does. Better yet…send the kids with him to the inlaws and go do something fun.
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It sounds like he wasn’t at his moms house.
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If he wants to be with you, he’ll make you his priority.
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I would be out…Done deal
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Counseling might be only option
Ummm, how do you know for sure he’s at his families? Who else is there? Unacceptable! Drop him!
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Watch “War Room.” Maybe change your perspective a bit.
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I can’t imagine a man spending money on a home to live but choosing to stay away at his mom’s . I wouldn’t check his phone or his story but would definitely reconsider why I choose to stay in this one sided relationship all alone . Time to work on you and being too busy for him not out of spite but because you deserve better and need to work on reminding yourself of that .
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If it were me, when he comes home, take the kids and leave, treat him the same way he treats you.
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I think he is def playing away get it checked out
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Is it his Mother or his Brother you are on about. You say his Mother 1st and then you on about his Brother.
Accept the situation, change the situation or leave the situation. Those are your choices. Why does he want to be somewhere other than his home is the most important question.
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If you are doing a solo do a solo! Kick him to the curb. Know your worth!
My 2nd marriage came late in life and I now personally prefer alone time but not so much I don’t want my husband home when he’s not working.
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Start treating him the way he treats U & see what his attitude becomes
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In my opinion- if you already had a conversation about it and he hasn’t changed than he never will. My husband loves spending time with me and our son, we are his number one priorities. We are a family and that’s pretty much what family does is spend time together. Sorry your going through this.
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Be prepared for what you may find out. Are you ready to deal with the fallout? How old are your children? How will the fallout affect them? Are you ready to be away from your children up to half of the time? For the kids sake work really hard at getting along with him and the +1. Seek counseling for your self either way this goes.
Why don’t you go with him 
If you have older kids then get life 360.put your whole house hold on it. If he doesn’t want to then you know what you want to…js
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You need to sit down with him and ask him where his priorities are. Also it sounds like to me he might be cheating on you
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This sounds very suspect to me. I’d either find it what he’s really doing or just save myself the trouble and get rid of him - won’t be hard, he isn’t coming home anyway.
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It don’t sound like he was at his mom’s…
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Take a taxi n follow him…his mom won’t wake up until 4 .am…old ppl goes to bed at 9.pm
I need an update on this one!!
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Next time he goes to his moms, wait a hour or two and take yourself right over there too. 1 it would give you clarity if you think it might not be his moms that he’s at, you’ll find out and 2 if you two are married you should be welcome at his moms house just as much as he is.
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Sounds like you have a man child. In what world is it ok that a spouse comes home at 4 am aside from work or an emergency. Nope, that would never fly with me…not even once
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Are you sure that’s who he “cares more about?” I would definitely take a much closer look at this situation.
Personally, I would investigate on my own BEFORE tipping my hand and talking to him again.
If his priorities are not you and his kids and sharing in all the responsibilities that go with that then it doesn’t matter who he’s with. You need to choose a healthy path for you and your kids. Investigate first, get ducks in a row if necessary, get an attorney if necessary, document everything including invitations to therapy, family counseling. Get yourself some therapy if you need to cope with the results of your investigation.
Good luck.
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Sounds like he’s cheating to be honest
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I’m a tit for Tat person don’t take my advice but I’d do the same 
“have fun wondering where I been”
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“Staying overnight at his Mom’s”
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Do you truly believe he’s at his moms? Those are side piece hours
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Girl he was NOT at his mamas house 
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I honestly would put a tracker on his phone. Sounds like he’s up to no good. Then make your choice either way.
A husband is supposed to be home at night unless he works at night.
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I dont trust very much and to be honest id do the survielance as mentioned into his wherabouts. Not adding up but either way not spending time with you means youre not a prioity. You need to know your worth and decide if youre ok with his behavior forever or if you are going to do something about it. Im nosy and id follow him. Id track him and know for sure. But still i have to ask myself that main question. Am i ok with this and what am i going to do about it.
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4 am. At Mama’s House…pffft
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Ma’am how or what a man is will never change.They will be like that until they draw their last breath.
Call his Moms and ask if hes there ??
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Did you confirm w his mom he was at her house? What does his brother have to do w anything?
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Aint no one at there mum’s house till 4 am then leaves
Have had this problem. Was condoned by MIL. never changed! Ruined our relationship. Still with him but wrong choice.
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A real pro tip : buy a non iPhone type of AirTag. Like a gps that you download an app for or something . If he has an iPhone he’ll be notified that he’s being tracked. Googled some alternatives - TilePro , CubePro Tag
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Therapy. Couples therapy and probably family therapy. He needs to see how this affects everyone and figure out why he’s doing it. If he refuses, you have your answer.
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My whole family has life 360 on our phones. We can all see where each of us are at all the times. Ask him to down load the app. See how he respond to your request.
How would I deal? With divorce papers. You don’t want to spend time with me, I’d rather find someone who wants to be a real husband.
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All I’m gonna say is if he wanted to he would… now it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to let somebody continue to treat you like that or not.
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I don’t worry
We both work
In the facility but different companies
We see each other once in a blue
When I get home
I’m busy with the kids
He’s busy building or whatever
At time we sit on the couch with all kids to watch a movie
Or he’s in the room watching his tv
I’m in living room watching tv
Kids going back n forth
At bedtime I go to the kids rooms say a prayer read a Bible verse
And go to my room
It’s our time then we watch tv
til it watches us
22yrs
I’m not complaining
So I’m gonna give the opposite opinion of most of those posted here, because it is entirely possible he is going to his mom’s every night which is just as much of a red flag as if he was cheating. There is no reason he should be spending all his free time at mommy’s house and not with his wife. You need to sit him down and tell him his priorities are at home and you need him to be putting more into the family he chose to create with you then the one he comes from. And you may have to just accept the fact some he just might not want to in which case why stay with him. It’s quite possible he has an emotionally insestous relationship with his family and your best option is to leave him and find a real man who not gonna be so obsessed with his own mommy.
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Staying out until 4am with a wife and kid at home? I don’t think so! If you have talked him and told him it bothers you clearly he doesn’t give a darn about your feelings so…
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Next time he comes home from work leave the house before he does and spend all night out see how he likes it. If you have children make sure he knows you’re leaving and that is his turn to step up
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You ah sure he was with mommy and brother. Get rid of him. Sounds like a headache
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Sounds like my ex husband he would leave 11:am and don’t come back until 1 in the morning. Reasons why I left. I should of left along time ago when he first started doing it.
Id put a air tag on the car and see if he really be at his moms. After that id go from there
. How often does he go .
And when he does go and if it is often does he stay alll the time like that over night ?
Be creative and investigate i say something else is up and it issnt with his family .
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That is a giant red flag. He is up to no good. My husband and I are together 24/7. We even do the shopping together. Something isn’t right. Put GPS on his car.
I mean, this is 2023. We don’t NEED a man, especially one like this. Bank your paychecks and leave as soon as you have enough. There are good men out there.
Track him or follow him because this sounds fishy.
Well the vast majority here believe that he’s cheating and no doubt lying, the far more pressing issue is even if just sitting in his car parked around the corner – he no longer seems interested in you and your children, address that - and get tested for std’s (in case the majority’s right)
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He’s lying to you!! No one comes home 4am from their mom’s house! Like that just sounds ridiculous 
most older people go to bed early especially now a days heck I’m in my 30s I go to bed no later than 11pm lol. He was definitely with someone just not his own mom
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Man sounds like he’s visiting someone else.
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He is cheating on you girl …nobody not going leave there mom and dad house at 4am in the morning
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I don’t think his mom stays up till 4 in the morning. My guess is that he is somewhere else
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Asking total strangers for advice about someone they don’t even know…and vague information at that…will ruin what little relationship you might possibly have left…communicate like an adult!
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He is hiding something, the question is what….
Could be gambling, drugs, another woman.
Everyone is automatically assuming cheating, it could be something else. I agree with the finding out what though.
If he is stressed he might be using an outlet and just not able to tell you.
Find out whatever it is
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I hate to say it as much as you wanna believe his words, but he is highly likely sleeping around with someone. No grown man goes to his “mother or brothers house” that frequently or that late. When men disappear like that it is almost always because of another woman. Or man, it happens. Many of us who have been cheated on are familiar with the pattern.
You may not want to accept or consider it right now but when you are ready, keep evidence of him cheating and use it for grounds for divorce if it comes to that point.
A real partner will always make time to spend with you and your family, unless they genuinely have a demanding work schedule (which I can only believe for certain professions). Don’t let him play you for a fool.
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From his moms house?
Ma’am?! You cannot be this Naive!!!
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Pack your stuff and leave. Maybe he’ll pay more attention.
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I don’t believe he is at Moms
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Who tf leaves their mama’s house at 4am? Something doesn’t seem right about this situation. I’d put a tracker on his phone or car or something.
At his brother’s until 4am 
I’m not buying that.
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I’d ask to go with him next time he’s going to visit “mom and brother”. That does not sound legit.
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Change the locks.pack his stuff up and send to mom’s house.But really wonder if he is going to mom’s?
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He wasn’t at his mom’s 
That man is not leaving his mamas house at 4 am. I wouldn’t buy that for a second.
He’s cheating.
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Just leave before him and teach him a lesson.
Are you sure he is at his brother ? He might be having an affair , so another thing you can do is to show up at his brother and join them
Yeah right he’s at his mom’s 
more like his mistress house…
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4 am from his mommas house?? Bullshit
If you’re unhappy, leave. Life is too short to be telling a grown man how to treat you.
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Idk, kind of weird he’s out all night if yall are married. Leave, find someone who meets your standards
I would be showing up at his moms. Because. I don’t think it’s his ‘moms’ he’s going to. Please don’t be that naive. He is definitely with another woman. And that woman is NOT his mom.
When you show up at his moms. Don’t tell him. Just leave about 20 minutes after he does. And if he’s not at his moms. Park down the road a little and wait about another 30 minutes to see if he’s at his moms. When he doesn’t show up, next time he leaves get a spare iPad and put your phone in his vehicle in the seat pocket (make sure it’s on silent mode). Enable find my friends. And you will see exactly who’s moms house he is actually at! If you need help with that message me and I would absolutely help you!
Once you find out. You stay silent. You get your assets and money in order. Protect yourself. Get a lawyer and file for divorce.
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What do u mean he cares more about his brother? So he’s going to mom and dads for long periods because of something with his brother and y’all jump to he’s cheating 
wow y’all!
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And you are home taking care of the home cooking for him when he’s there, doing his laundry . He’s using you . And he has another woman elsewhere .that he enjoys spending time with .
The information missing is what reason does he have for being over there so much. Is his brother sick, have a mental disorder or have other special needs that he’s helping his parents deal with? If there’s no real valid reason for him to be there from 6pm to 4am then he’s likely seeing someone else and his family are either covering for him or he’s using them as a cover.