My husband told me he isn't in love with me anymore: Thoughts?

Well, I just want to say I’m so beyond heartbroken right now; my husband of 14 years told me he isn’t in love with me anymore. I have no idea what happened we argue, but I seriously thought we were both happy.i do not want to lose him :sob:

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Girl go get the D!

And by D i mean DIVORCE

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Hes cheating on you. Get a copy of phone records and a lawyer ASAP.

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Maybe couples counseling but if he doesn’t feel that would benefit and is set in his decisions I would suggest talking to a divorce attorney.

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There’s nothing you can do…

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Yeah it could possibly be he’s cheating and there’s someone else in picture… Hope you heal and find your peace after this heartbreak …who knows maybe you’ll find yourself happier that way.

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I’m so sorry I have been with my husband 14 years now to but if that’s what he wants you have to give it to him. I’m so sorry but it’s the truth

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I was with my husband for 33 yrs as you grow older and wiser as of age the heart changes.

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The thing is is you can’t make people love you no matter how hard you try work on loving yourself through it you will find strength that you never knew you had good luck to you

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He’s definitely cheating. That’s what happened to me.

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Going through the same thing.

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Did I miss something? Why are people certain he cheated?

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Grow apart sometimes if not cheating

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Leave him, love yourself, take care of yourself and never look back you deserve better

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This does not mean hes cheating dang! People grow apart

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Maybe remind him love is not physical. Get a councillor or priest or whatever. Sometimes people just need to be reminded why they got married. If he is cheating he needs to realize a relationship is a daily decision that needs to be worked at. No matter what woman he is with life is not greener on the other side

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I am so sorry your having to go through this, someone will always love you. Please keep that in mind. The works I don’t love you anymore is devastatingly!

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You can’t make someone love you, that’s the tough part as hard as it sounds it’s time to move on

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Sometimes loving someone is letting them go. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years… through rough parts of his marriage I have always given him an out. I would never want to force someone to stay with me if they didn’t love me. There is someone out there that can give you the love you deserve. Wishing you the best of luck. :blue_heart:

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Dr. Laura’s audio of “the proper care and feeding of husbands”

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Possibly Possibly Possibly
Like good grief how about instead of running for a divorce try communicating?? Maybe talk and try to find out WHY he’s fallen out of love with you. And IF there’s any way to fix things. Nobody wants a to take the effort anymore! It’s crazy!

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This is what happens when we see love as a feeling and not a commitment and action. So sorry for your pain.

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Talk to him and ask him if he wants to save the marriage. If so, go to counseling…that way you two can work on each other and yourself( only because it sounds like this is going to be hard on you either way it goes). I hope everything works out for your family!

I’ve been married 26 years and now all of a sudden he wants to leave because we supposedly argue to much, I think that’s just an excuse I feel like he’s tired of being with me

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I’m so sorry. Sometimes Ppl just grow separate ways. And… A lot of times guys use that excuse bc they are lying, cheating jerks.
But either way… You are better off without him. I know that rn it definitely doesn’t seem like you will be… But you really will.

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This is so so sad. I’m so sorry. Unfortunately you cant make someone love you.

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If he isnt in love with you then you cant hold on to him just let him go! My parents were together for 30 yrs knew each other even longer an were married for 10 yrs an my father came home one night an told my mom the same thing an all she could do was let him go

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Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a decision…no marriage could survive if you broke up because you just weren’t feeling it. Please try counseling, prayers and blessings for you both

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Worry about you. Ignore his ass. Get hot, lose 10lbs (not that you have to, it’ll just help your confidence) and find a hobby that takes up lots of time. Become someone new. Either you’ll get him back or realize you don’t want him back.

Go to a marriage counseling that happened to my husband and I. All this overwhelming stuff going on and one person putting in 110% and the other person in denial. Feeling resentful and tired. Sometimes putting someone else’s family first and totally forgetting about the you and I, us. Marriage is really hard work it’s not easy. It’s not suppose to be all glamorous because it isn’t. Married 30 years this year and having a date going away just the both of you no one else can help. What attracted you to each other in the first place. Remember and communicate with each other.

All u telling her hes cheating your not going to make her feel any better about the situation

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Figure out what caused the spark to die down. Talk to him. Loving someone and being in love are two different things. If he was in love with you and stopped then most likely something happened.

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Listen… try to work things out . If it doesn’t work out from here in a month or so he really doesn’t want to be with you and sometimes you can’t have that person with you if they don’t wan to continue. I know it’s been long years together but we can’t keep someone just because we wan to . Hope everything works out :muscle:

When Guys say that they no longer are in love That’s it…

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Time for a romantic getaway. My husband & I always do one once a year together to rekindle our love & to fall in love all over again. You need time together to be just husband & wife, not just mommy & daddy all the time.

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You can’t make someone love you. You’ll spend a lot of time trying but you just can’t. Try to get the information you need for closure and work on healing and starting your new journey.

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Or maybe he told her so they could work on things to make it work? Is he supposed to not tell her and just fake it? Lol people are so quick to say leave instead of spending time repairing. 14 years is a pretty solid foundation to rebuild on ?

Just because everyone says cheating it may not be. Life is difficult. I had a deadline… my daughter’s 10th birthday for things to start turning around, we have had many highs and lows but tbh it hasn’t gotten better. My daughter turns ten in October, but sadly I plan to be out of here by then. Don’t get me wrong i love him. I’m just done with playing games

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I was once given advice by my husband’s grandmother. She said you 2 over the years may fall out of love with each other but as long as it’s not at the same time then you will be okay. It happens. Maybe he needs a reminder of why he fell in love with you in the first place. Talk to him and listen to what he has to say.

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Have a talk, and see if he would like to try counseling. If he says NO, then the sad truth means you guys will have to go your separate ways. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It happened to me just before Christmas…its not easy and I’m sad a lot…but being in a loveless marriage is not good. I’m learning to be on my own after so many years.
Hugs to you.

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If he doesn’t love you anymore as heart broken as you may be respect the honesty and move on…can’t make someone love you if they don’t

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Love is a choice. Its not magical you have to put in work to stay in love and stay in a relationship. Im sorry to hear this. I wish you luck.

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Have him fall in love with you again did it once you can do it again …

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Sometimes letting go will heal you and make you stronger. Don’t live life of misery. My dad and step mom have been horribly married and miserable for about 27 years

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This happens. But it’s not the end all. Talk to him. My husband told me after we went through a very rough patch that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. It tore me in pieces but I didn’t give up on us. Now we are still together and he is in love with me again. Marriages are hard work. You can do it. Just can’t give up and neither can he.

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Once Someone tells you they don’t love you it’s over. You can never forget those words ever!
Your life would be horrible. Love yourself more than that.

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Just leave,he ain’t worth your time.

Ask him why he fell out of love with you and ask him if he will go to marriage counselling. If he says no, then just let him go.

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This happens…the tough years are like the 1st, 3rd, 7th and 13th…you’re at your 14th year and some may feel lost midlife kind of thing, have different aspirations in what they did before, or are in a different place emotionally, mentally and physically that they disconnect. But let’s focus on you: what you heard is heartbreaking, and now you are at a loss. Probably blaming yourself and questioning where it went wrong, where it may not be a wrong turn just a new journey. Lives come and go, and he may definitely change his mind. If he can commit to dates, rediscovering each other, or totally exposing what he wants and you meet him and help him accomplish those goals, set some stars you want to reach as well - motivation, drive, passion for things nothing is sexier than that! And it can really help you both connect on a new, raw level, because we all mature and grow constantly. Don’t think this is the end, it could be a new beginning for you both. Communication and dedication. I,f it doesn’t work, you put your soul into it, and you have the years to remember and new paths to take. Always want the best for one another, you both love each other truly.

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It’s the hardest thing I ever had to do… I thought I was gonna die of heartbreak. But you have to move on if he doesn’t love you anymore. There are better things out there !

Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a choice.

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Sometimes you just have to accept it and move on. He’s probably just barely telling you that he’s not in love with you anymore but he’s most likely felt this way for awhile.

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The Bible says to love you spouse.

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I feel sad for you so basically you have two options do you try to fight for this marriage or do you walk away? I guess I would ask what he wants to do with this point because if he does not want to salvage it you have no choice but to let him go. Trust me it’ll be hard but you will survive. I went through divorce almostsix years ago. He left four months before he actually left permanently. He was only gone one night and then came back and stayed four more months and left permanently that time right before Valentine’s Day. It was the hardest thing that I had been through at that point in time we were together for 12 years married for 10. But you know what I am so much happier in my life right now. I wanted us to go to counseling and try to make it work and he made it sound like he wanted the same thing but it never came to fruition. I found out after our divorce was final that at that point he had someone else and she was six months pregnant. He kept telling me he had no one else there was nothing else going on but he had lied to me not sure if he met her while he was with me or right after but I believe it was a few months before he left. I’m in a much better place and you will be too

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I think you guys shouldn’t quit, I think guys and girls get mix up with thier feeling because it’s not new anymore, you guys should have a date night.

Wow I dont think I could handle that

You know how to argue…
Well, now it’s time to fight.
Fight for your marriage. Don’t let him tell you he fell out of love. Make him walk you through it. Make him spill his guts to you. If he’s gonna throw away 14 years, he better know damn well more than “fell out of love”. Then make him explain it again to a marriage counselor. The more he has to dig, the more he’ll have to think, and remember, and consider. Sometimes that’s all we need, is to just have to dig down and remember. Sometimes we just need more. I hope it’s the former. Good luck.

Most likely he found someone younger and was already cheating on you with her/him.

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Time to start working on your marriage if you want to save it. Counseling, dates, maybe a get away together if you can. Try to remember why he fell in love with you the first time. Also give him some space and time. I know your hurting but try not to be to pushy. I’m sorry your going through this.

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I thought I fell out of love with my husband. We were going through an extremely rough patch and I was suffering from depression. I didn’t exactly tell him those words, but I did tell him I was worried for our marriage and I didn’t like how things were. Things have truly changed. Were not just going through the motions anymore. Both of actually enjoy each others company again and I can say are truly in love again. It’s been very relieving.

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I’m sorry he is doing this to you but please don’t beg him to stay with you after he done stood up and told you he’s not in love with you.I see so many women do that. Kick his ass out and find someone that will really love you.

Get rid of him move on more fish in the sea

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Has he asked for a divorce?

Maybe the fact that you have no idea of what happened is the reason it happened. Dont get to comfortable that you forget you a Duo.

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Say it back. See what he says.

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If he doesn’t love you then you have already lost him. Yes it will be hard but you will have to move on.

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Find out who she is and take care of the problem. He’s def cheating!

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I know what you mean I was married 40 years to boys and he left me for some one half my age just plod on I did . It hurts but it does getter

Just tell him your sorry to hear that. I guess u didn’t have him in the first place tell him goodbye & good luck

Feelings fluctuate and the “in love” feeling certainly doesn’t last continually. It needs to be worked on and understood that love is a choice. It’s a sign of maturity to understand that the feelings of being in love will come and go. Unless there is abuse going on maybe try counseling or spice things up with adventurous dates?

Sadly it means nothing you say or do is going to make him love you again. He can not help the fact he has stopped being in love with you either. It’s time to face up to splitting up :disappointed_relieved:

Well sounds like he is cheating on you.i was married to my late husband for 14 years and the same thing happened to me.and i found out he was cheating i got a divorce .

If you don’t want to lose him, set him free.

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Just because he isn’t in love with you doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love you. Being in love with someone is basically more so a honey moon phase of the relationship, I’m not in love with my boyfriend of 6 years but I still love him and have no intentions of leaving him. Ask what he means by that and see if he still loves you, if he does you can most likely work things out, you probably just don’t do enough things together that make you guys happy is all

I loved my husband but not ‘in love’ anymore. He had 6 affairs that I know of. So it was mutual. I set him free and left with our son. We were best friends after that. We were together since I was 15. Left when I was 27.

I would not want to be with someone who doesn’t love me, fully. I would suggest both going to therapy together. But if he just doesn’t love you, nothing will change that

Maybe it is the “arguing” that killed the love for him
Belittling, crazy making, acting like victim never taking accountability
When people argue we dont always argue intellectually we argue to fluff up truth to deny and to put the other one down…and then arguing continues

So arguing can be a deciding factor in not being compatable

I had several ex’s who loved to argue
It drained me
They thought I looked sexy and cute when I would get mad​:expressionless::roll_eyes::expressionless:
I was losing my mind . It was insanity to argue bout every tiny things… I lost interest

Anyway…he obviously wasnt loving life
Its very sad you had no idea
But its helpful… u noticed arguments
Eitherway…not sure if he would want to give another chance
What I do know is it’s very healthy and also attractive to work on self

I’m so sorry :confused: that’s one of the hardest things to hear…here for you!

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I would suggest going to couples counseling together. See if he’s open to it and wants to save the marriage. Let him know you love him and have every intention of fixing the situation and not just giving up. Best of luck to you :two_hearts:

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I’m sorry, this might be heard to hear. You already lost him. Sorry, but his just not that into you. It’s going to hurt for a long time, but you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

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You have to move on. trying to get him to love you is too much work . You will find someone who does love you for you <3

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Welcome to marriage. It’s not always going to be butterflies and rainbows. Remind him why he fell in love with you. Take a weekend trip together. Work on it.

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I think this is very common. Coexisting is one option unless of course the other wants to find another partner. I wouldn’t sweat it. Let him be happy somewhere else.

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Let him go if he wants to go. You will forever be wondering when he will want to leave again if he stays.

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I am literally going through the same thing we have been married 10 years and he just told me last weekend for like the third time he didn’t love me and he wasn’t happy,he did this back in December then we were supposedly working on this then he did this in the summer time and then changed his mind but this is the final straw I meet with divorce lawyer this week. I can’t continue to fight for someone who doesn’t want me. Me and my daughter are going to be better off

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That’s terrible but at least he had the decency to tell you so you can make a decision on how to move forward. At least he didn’t cheat on you or lie. It’s hardly a silver lining but I hope things get better for you.

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That is so hard! It happened to me as well a few years ago, but I’m telling you it does get better with time. Now I am happier than I’ve ever been with my soon to be husband (2 months til we get married) and I quickly realized that it was for the best even though it hurt then. Feeling rejected and unloved is horrible, but you deserve the world. You will get through this, I promise!

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I’m sorry I understand it hurts, however it sounds like “ he isn’t in love with you anymore” really means he has fallen for someone else. He just doesn’t have the guts to tell you. Get your finances in order, think of yourself and children if you have any first. Not him.

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My dad told that same thing to my mother after 28yrs of marriage and they divorced and a year later they got back together after he regretted it and said at the time he didn’t even know why he said that and did what he did…talk about it and ask him how and when it started…maybe there’s a way to fix it…

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Couples counseling helps a lot of people :blush: good luck!

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Speaking from experience, you cant make someone love you no matter how much you love them. Get a good lawyer (especially if there are kids involved) and let them go. You’ll realize in time that you’re better off not being with someone who doesn’t love you.

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I don’t want to be with anyone that doesn’t love me, I personally just couldn’t stay together with them.

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I literally just read a post talking about exactly this by someone’s personal experience. I wish I could share it. The grass is never greener on the other side!

Like the song says “If he don’t love you anymore
Just walk your fine ass out the door. “

“Woo, girl, need to kick off your shoes
Gotta take a deep breath, time to focus on you
All the big fights, long nights that you been through
I got a bottle of tequila I been saving for you
Boss up and change your life
You can have it all, no sacrifice
I know he did you wrong, we can make it right
So go and let it all hang out tonight”

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So sons dad said the same thing to me me the day after I told him I was pregnant.

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You have 2 options. Let him go so he can be happy and work on moving on and discovering who you are without him or go to therapy, try to work things out, and risk ending things on worse terms. I am sorry. It’s not really a fair situation to either of you.

Okay but is he willing to try falling back in love or is he telling you because hes just completely done with it? We need more info in order to help you and give sound advice…

Been there girl trust me it gets easier with time and I know I don’t know you but I believe you deserve way better than that

I have a friend going through this and it breaks my heart watching her go through hell. I wish she lived closer so I could physically be there. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do :heart:

Someone once told me: I love you and I like you too.
Being in love can feel like it’s gone sometimes, but still LIKING the person you’re with means something completely different.
Time for y’all to tAlk and try not to let it turn into an argument

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