My husband told me he isn't in love with me anymore: Thoughts?

Walk away now before it really sets in

Walk away …Do have children cause it makes it harder to leave.

You already have. It’s hard to take, but if he says he’s not in love anymore, he’s already checked out. The best you can do is try to come to terms and move on.

You need to fall back and say hey I love you but I can’t make you love me and maybe in time you will see what you really want! Trust me if you love something let it go if it comes back it’s yours but I know what he’s trying to do he is trying to get out there and play the field he wants to be able to date who he wants sleep with who he wants and he’s probably been doing it the whole time trust me this happen for a reason god works in mysterious ways he might be telling you hey I found you someone that will treat you ten times better

I’m sorry. That’s really sad.
I went through this 6yrs ago. Talk to him and see if there is anyway to work it out if you really don’t want to walk away. Don’t yell or get mad, just let him know you love him and don’t want to lose him and your willing to work it out. But! If he is adamant that he doesn’t love you or doesn’t want to work it out, that’s his choice and you cant force him to stay. Be strong!
It hurts but life goes on.
I was w my 1st husband 8yrs we had no children and that was part of the problem. He wanted kids and I never got pregnant.
I’m remarried now to an amazing man who makes me happier than I ever thought I could be…and we have a 2yr old daughter named arrow. :heart: Best of luck to you and again I’m sorry you have to go through this

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I’m so sorry. My self esteem is high and I would say well if you want to leave go ahead but I’m not taking you back ever so make damn sure it’s what you want.

Move on and deal with the pain it’s all you can do

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I suggest you sit down and actually communicate with one another, obviously you haven’t been talking because you felt one way and him another. Why turn to complete strangers to communicate with when you can’t talk to your spouse?

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Honestly in a long time marriage love waxes & wanes, most ppl don’t understand that anymore. Once the wirl wind love calms u just have to know that that’s your person and if love gets low u realize it & work together to bring some newness in, just to remind u why y’all love each other

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Don’t waste your time.leave him ASAP

Cant force love. Hes gone. Hes probably seeing someone else. After all a lot of marriages these days after that many years tumble. Seeing the same face every single day, doing the same thing on routine, having the same boring sex, arguements, stress, and even financial issues, or kids, can lead to all of this. You may still love him but are you in love with him? After so many years theres a difference. You can love someone because you shared your life together, everything together, flaws and everything. But to be in love still thats the biggest thing. Thats something that starts in the begginning of a relationship, the beginning of marriage. You have to go back in time and remember what made you both fall in love in the first place, what were some of the things you did together, what are the memories that made you both so in love with each other that had you wanting to get married. Sounds like all that faded. You got too comfortable, and who knows what he does behind your back. He may have found someone who makes him feel good, that has qualities that you lack. Who knows. But like I said, you cant make someone stay. Hes already mentally gone. You need to do things that you like and see how you are on your own without him. Ignore him if you have to, after all hes not really there anyway. Try a counselor together, but it sounds like he made up his mind. Sorry you are going through this. Change is probably what he wants, a new beginning, a new life, spontenious, and maybe a younget woman. It happens all the time.

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Whoever recommends counselling needs a reality check. Counselling is only an option for those who still love each​other, you could do hundreds of sessions if a person has fallen out of love then no amount of therapy will help that. Its something you’ll have to accept…we can only hope in time they might realise the love is there still, but if not then thats okay too.

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It happens …get divorced and find someone who does want and love you

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I’ve real literally a million of these posts in the last year so first off your not alone but second sadly 90 percent of these husbands not boyfriend ect for 10 plus years are already having an affair :pleading_face: this could be hormones age an stress he’s declining physically with age as well and some men aren’t strong enough to not need materialistic things as well as live their past young lives to feel young again :grimacing: this isn’t a fix all and they will still not be happy cause their not millionaires and most have family’s their still responsible for financially :confused: but their to dumb to figure that out off the bat so defiantly start digging to see what he been doing in his phone if he’s got hidden dating apt ect check you bank account for sure ! Make sure your affairs are in order if this is the end ! And just know you won’t have to be with someone who says they don’t love you anymore he obviously has no respect or care and you can believe in yourself enough to know your own worth !

Girl just move on being there with him does you no good if he does not have love for you anymore

He’s probably met someone else. The rotter… Prepare yourself now. Read. Books. Self love. You don’t need him.

Oh my. I fear this. I saw it happen to my parents. Does he want to call it quits? I’m so sorry hon. Did he say it while he was angry?

It’s never the same as when you first meet you get comfortable with each other and things do die off maybe he’s not as excited about the relationship as he was but I’m sure he still loves you in a way keep fighting

Let him go if it is meant to be he will come back

It’s actually pretty disgusting how many of you ladies want to automatically say he’s seeing someone else, leave, etc. it’s actually a really immature and bitter mindset and that attitude is why the divorce rate is so high and marriage means nothing to people these days.

Cut your lose and move on. No need staying somewhere your not wanted

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Here’s a test to see if the relationship is over: if you can spoon together (naked) and feel nothing, or only anger and resentment, after 30 minutes- the relationship is over.
#truth

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I know you don’t want to lose him but don’t force him into a marriage he isn’t happy in… you have to put yourself in his shoes and think about how you’d feel. Forcing him to stay married to you will just make him resent you and things will just get worse and worse. And if you have children together, the children don’t deserve to grow up seeing dad unhappy. It will be severely hard but you have to tell him to get a divorce. . . I’m sorry hon

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Try counselling to understand why/how that happened then see if it can be fixed. If not, at least you tried before giving up.

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My question is why would you want a man who told you he doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Different words, same meaning. He told you in the way that places the least amount of blame on him. The “acceptable way” in his rationale. Does it matter why he doesn’t love you anymore really? It won’t change the results. You can try counseling or talk with a clergy person.

The divorce rate is high because too many rush into marriage. Many of these people are highly self-centered. It’s too easy to get divorced nowadays.

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Don’t ever stay with a man that doesn’t love you.you can’t force them to love you no matter what you do as heartbroken as you must be you need to move on find someone else or better yet take time for yourself start a new life for you

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My ex did this…he was also a drunk narcissist who was cheating.

To me, probably because of what I’ve been through a little bit, this post screams that your husband is a narcissist. He’s not in love anymore, and wants a divorce, all while throwing just a little bit of shade your way, subtly insinuating you deserve it and should take the blame while doing what HE wants.

That’s usually what cheating assholes do. It’s called gaslighting. Believe me, my ex did it terrifically lol :joy:

Get the cell phone records.

I contacted the chick he cheated on me with…she was overseas. As soon as she confirmed what I already knew, he ceased to exist to me anymore.

Harness your anger and get proof. It will get you through and you will be so much better off

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What would you do if you were the one who doesn’t love him anymore?

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I was told the same thing and then found out he was cheating

I’m not sure how much this helps because we don’t have close to 14 years together… but my fiancee told me the same thing a couple months after our first daughter was born. We split, I moved back in with my grandma, and honestly it was the best thing we could’ve done. It helped us both grow, me find my own strength again, and a couple months later we started to reconnect and our second daughter came shortly after. Maybe time apart will help you too? I know everyone is different but it will give you a chance to look differently at your life and come out stronger, whether the two of you come back together or not.

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You don’t just stop loving someone. It’s takes a lot to love someone… It might be simples as just not loving who you’ve become. But either way, u need to understand you are strong and need no validation from a man. Keep ur head high and take care of yourself and your children. It hurts but u never need to beg for love there are plenty of women and men that will love u right as you deserve. Don’t settle. Don’t try to fix the broken. Let him regret is loss. Be strong. Give yourself some credit! Stride on love stride on!!

I’ve fallen out of love with my s/o bout 4 times in the last 20 years. Love is a commitment, not an emotion. Work on y’all’s shit. If you mean so much to eachother, you’ll be fine.
Stop listening to these bitter women. Don’t walk out on your marriage because another adult was honest with you. I can almost bet depression mixes in here somewhere.

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Without fail every time I’ve see this, the man was cheating.

You’ve already lost him. What you are probably doing now is settling for what he gives you. It isn’t a happy place to be. He is also a huge ass. Even if he felt that way he didn’t have to say it. He was trying to hurt you. You don’t have to allow someone to hurt you because you love them.

Does he want to work on the marriage and try to fall in love again or did he say I’m not in love with you and I want a divorce? You can’t make someone stay who doesn’t want to. This may not be the popular answer but at the end of the day we all have a right to our own feelings. I’d rather him leave than stay and be unhappy.

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If somebody told me that I wouldn’t be sticking around hoping he would change his mind or wondering what I did wrong because it’s not you its him. It will be hard but you need to be on sorry

I’m so confused why these things happen…ok so ik it’s just a movie ok I get it. But tyler Perry made a movie called temptations. About a woman who had a longtime husband and friend. Met a man that did all these things and made her feel onto the world…it actually wasnt shit an she lost a beautiful thing because of it.

Again ik ik it’s a movie. But I feel like people forget who’s been right there the new wears off and people think they have settled.
Long story short you cannot beat yourself up. You have to keep your peace. You pray for yourself you love yourself. Dont think any part of his reasons are because of you dont be at yourself up for that ok. Love yourself love him and let him go. It’s ok to have all these questions and feel the way you do. Just dont lose yourself in the process. Nothing is promised to anybody. But one thing that will always be. You will always have yourself and it may not seem like much but it is. So you have to take care of yourself. Dont go looking for love in low places. You have a life. Your life and you have to give yourself that. Enjoy life. You are not living you are not here because of him. Go do fo yourself ok…go have fun enjoy the time you have. There is an independent person in every single one of us and ik it’s nice to have someone there for but what is the point if that if you’re not there for yourself. I promise it will get better. Just hang on. You are not alone in this.
An remember that it does get better.