What should I do? I dont even know what to think…my husband of 15 years told me today that he rented an apartment and is moving out. we have 3 kids together who are still pretty young and i dont want to confuse them…he said he does not want a divroce…just needs some space an di dont know how to geel…deep down i feel like this is a foot out the door and he no longer wants to be with me…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband told me he rent an apartment but doesn't want a divorce: Advice?
He doesn’t want to pay child or spousal support so he’s keeping you in his grasp so you don’t file.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t even imagine.
Let him go. Move on bc kids are not a reason to force an unwanted relationship.
If he needs that much space I’d say a divorce is coming. Most people needing space just goes for a drive or a weekend away not move completely out the home
He’s got a girlfriend or is looking for one.
Trust your gut and get a lawyer
That’s a cheating man. You only live alone if you are single. Get an attorney
Sounds like maybe he’s trying to dodge child support. Definitely lawyer up!! If hes not legally divorced he doesn’t have to legally pay child support.
As someone said, lawyer up and start filing for a divorce.
Hell no. He needs a break? He needs to move out? He wants live the single life he can live it ALL THE WAY. I know I’m not gonna be the foolish wife that gets slowly let go while I’m vigorously cheated on.
I could understand if he went and stayed at a family members house for a while, but that’s not what this is. He’s building 2 lives expecting to keep them parallel. Nuh uh don’t take that shit. You are not a fool wife. You are here talking to us because your instincts know he’s a sack of shit.
I would get a lawyer. Sounds very suspicious with him getting an apartment.
Get a lawyer asap he’s just going to live a single life while stringing you along, leave now
Um. He clearly is looking for an out. I’d be filing.
He doesn’t want a divorce, but maybe you want one if he thinks its okay to move out and confuse the kids like that.
He’s pushing you to see how much he can get by with. Protect yourself financially NOW!!! Consult an attorney!
He wants his cake and to eat it too. Tell him to eat shot instead
Duh the man is gone. Get on with your life as well.
Hell nah get that divorce
You’re either in or out. Can’t have both.
Sounds like he is cheating .
Sounds like he could be cheating and wants to keep you on hold at the same time, get a good lawyer incase.
That’s how it started with my parents but they got divorced. He also wants to be single so technically in his head if y’all separated he can do what he wants when he wants. I would definitely look into getting a lawyer
Let him go - let him figure it out - you figure out you - you can do separation papers - take care of the finances - and give it a year - see how y’all feel .
I hate to make you sad, but he might have the new apartment for another woman. Either get the divorce or get a key and sneak up on him.
Definitely lawyer up that is unacceptable if he needed space he could go away for a weekend or something and if he’s unhappy he should communicate with you not just up and move out !! Something smells “fishy” probably the other woman just saying …… good luck to you
Get a lawyer, he can’t have the cake and eat it aswell. You guys are married, it’s either all in or not at all simple. And don’t use the kids as an excuse sayin well stay together for them. It will be hard on them at the beginning but they soon see that your not happy and pick up on that
Doesn’t matter what he wants, file for divorce and start the custody paperwork
Damn. Nope. Divorce. He literally is already on the move. Of course he doesnt want a divorce. Just incase it doesnt work out with the new one he can come crawling home after he gaslights you.
Girl… he doesn’t want to lose that dependent pay. Boy bye!
Don’t put up with it! It’s BOTH feet out the door!
A foot? Honey that’s two feet out the door. He doesn’t want a divorce because that comeschild support and potential alimony. File for divorce on abandonment reasons.
File for full custody and child support immediately.
He wants his cake and eat it too. Don’t be a fool
all these people have literally no idea what’s going on. A lesson I learned is do not talk about your relationship with ANYONE but God. Humans have nothing nice or encouraging to say. This could be what saves your marriage! Never assume negative intent.
Um no… Get some paperwork going
You don’t sign a whole damn lease for just a little space. He’s moved on. You should too. I’d hire a PI to ensure he doesn’t have another woman already moved in to the apartment. That’s something you’ll want to know before you finalize custody arrangements.
Ask him when he’s going to move the kids furniture in, and will he need help. File for divorce, who cares what he wants, obviously it’s not you, he could be cheating, he’s better off financially staying married, don’t let him have his cake and eat it too…
Do what you have to do to protect yourself financially then start the divorce and custody paperwork✌️
He is gonna treat you the way you allow him to treat you. He is up to something. Time to hire a lawyer. So sorry you are dealing with this.
Get rid if his cheating ass
He has someone else. He’s already checked out. But he wants to keep you on the side in case it doesn’t work out with new girl.
YIke’s - he’s banging someone else……let him go, change the locks - consult a lawyer and file for immediate spousal support, child support and exclusive possession of the matrimonial home (since he left)
Trust your gut , sound like he wants his freedom and keeping you in his grasp to control you…
Lawyer up for sure protect yourself.
Yeah he’s moving out cuz he doesn’t want to see him what he’s really doing good luck sweetheart I’ve been through this one too many damn times not to know how it is
Yep it happened too me he wasn’t cheating I know that for sure we where having problems for awhile I did his laundrey for a couple of months after a 28 yr marriage he decided he liked the single life thank god he decided that because I have never been more happier I also had a lawyer the next day just in case
Being with me wouldn’t be an option! If he’s big enough to walk out…he better be big enough to stay gone!! Protect yourself above all. Don’t give him the opportunity to come and go, I would have his keys, remote and whatever else. You are not a doormat!
step aside and let him go. you cannot make someone love and care for you no matter the relation ship status. Release him…
I guarantee you no one would need that much space with a women and three children runnnnnnnnn
Sorry but excuse my bluntness I would tell him oh HELL no, that we would file for divorce before he moves anywhere…
Rip off the band-aid… he commited to a lease. Prepare your heart.
Put up some cameras to see who come and goes!
I’m going to retain me a good lawyer on his money and have the lawyer have him serve and he needs to continue paying bills at the this house like he was here and I’m going to start moving on
Uh no… girl he is only going to do what you allow… F*** all that.
Sounds like he wants a hall pass to play in another playground. I’d be done and he’d be gone. Kids always come first.
That’s very concerning.
Nope. He definitely is up to something.
What do you look like lol
He wants to stay married but living single.
He’s cheating. File for divorce yourself.
This happened to my husband with his ex wife. She wanted my now husband to rent a unit for her and the girls to live in so she could have a break. He said no way, if you want to leave, that’s not marriage so it’s over. Turns out she was seeing someone else and wanted to see if it would work first He found naked pictures of her on the hard drive if his computer which he had never seen.
I would prepare an escape route, save up heaps of money to back you up, he is on his way out or he has already left.
It usually means he has someone else he wants to see and wants you to stay attached in case it doesn’t work out… No good luv
Protect yourself and your children especially financially. If joint bank accounts, change tomorrow. Have a consultation with an attorney asap.
Pack his bag. Don’t beg or argue.
Yeah at that point I’d break it off
Let the kids with him at least 50% of the time.
He wants his cake… and he wants to eat it too. You know the answer already.
Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too and if it dont work out hes coming home. Thats not what marriage is about.
That’s more than a foot out the door hon. His entire body is not only out yalls door but all the way into another.
Tell him he’s going to get all the space he needs and then some.
He wants to string you along while he’s free to f around.
Snip that string… oh but no!
Without mutual consent that is considered marital abandonment. Look it up for your state.
No way I’d agree to that he wants his cake n eat it to file for divorce it’s already over for him
I’M SURE THAT YOU KNOW THE ANSWER! WANTS ALL THE PRIVILEDGES OF MARRIAGE BUT, NOT THE RESPONSIBILITIES!!! i HOPE THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD ATTY.
He’s seeing someone else , you are back up. I would get a divorce.
That’s not ok. He’s out the door but wants to keep you there in case he can’t make it work with someone else. Id tell him that if that’s how he feels then the only option is divorce bc you shouldn’t want to live elsewhere ever. You want space go for a walk, go to the movies alone, go out with the guys one night a week or hell go to the garage and chill. But know that this isn’t ok ever.
Leave the kids with him. He’ll not have “space” for whatever he was up to
He wants a sex pad. File for divorce your relationship is over.
Honey, he’s establishing a separate residence ( domicile). First step of divorce.
It doesn’t sound like he wants to be with you anymore. And you don’t deserve that.
We all know what he wants space for
Talk to a lawyer. This could really hurt him and benefit you.
Wants to have his cake and eat it too unfortunately
He is leaving you but wants the option to come back if his single life doesn’t work out. Have some self respect and file for divorce.
Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry.
You divorce him. He probably already has a roommate.
Tell him to take the kids too ! He would not be able to cope…but you have to!
He may not want one but that would definitely make me have one. Space would be a night in different rooms, a friend’s place, or a hotel, NOT a whole ass other home I’m so sorry. Know that you matter and don’t deserve this curve ball. Stay strong best you can and go one day at a time.
Oh hell no. His side piece wants him to leave you.
He doesn’t want a divorce or legal separation bc he doesn’t want to PAY SUPPORT.
I would say this is not normal and maybe the beginning of the end….get an attorney NOW
I would say if you leave I will file for divorce. You need to be assertive and make sure he is held accountable for the children.
Just serve the divorce papers get it started. You can’t just go get a apartment because you just want to when your married. Don’t let him lead you on
Give him his space n only message when its about the kids.
You and your kids deserve better
Get a lawyer NOW!! He rented an apartment AND then told you…he signed a contract for an apartment behind your back…what else is he doing behind your back??? Is he going to use a joint bank account to pay for it?? He needs space??? Give him all the space in the world and file for a legal separation… can’t get much more space than that apart from divorce!! My instinct tells me he is cheating or wanting to be cheating…leaving his wife is bad enough when he hasn’t the guts to admit something is not right, but leaving his kids because he wants to cheat is shocking treatment of his family. He should man up and admit he doesn’t want this lifestyle now
The Bible says it’s OK to separate for a short season! Then come back together! I would let him do it and have no preconceived notions and see how it plays out day by day! Pray hard too!
Let him go. Getting his own space is him leaving. Let him leave, focus on the kids.
lawyer up and say i dont need part tym husband and father
Yeah just end it then the joke it on him. Get child support started or the kids can go live with him in his new life.