My husband told me he rent an apartment but doesn't want a divorce: Advice?

MAYBE he is being honest about how he feels. Depending on how YOU feel, is it worth sticking around to figure it out? It very well could go bad bug if very well could go well after taking space.

He has another lady I think

Probably cheating. I wouldn’t stand for it I’d tell him if he leaves u want a divorce . Stay at q friends or family is taking space not signing a lease for a year or longer :roll_eyes:

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,serve those divorce papers…strong message he’s sending you, he’s moved out!!!
Abandoned the family so get rid do it all legit He can’t have his cake and eat it too.

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Big Red Flag! He wants the luxury of being with you without putting jn any work. That’s a double life honey.

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He literally just left you then smoothed talked you.

Get legal counsel immediately even if he’s says he’s doing this to “get some space”. You don’t just up and leave without prior indication there was a problem. If he’s cheating, you just have to let that go, sis. You have to think about your children and their future. Get child support for your kids and therapy for yourself. Hoping that you find peace :heart:

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If he’s already got a whole new living space this has been a plan for a while get a lawyer

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The next move is yours!

he wants his cake and eat it too. It is sad that people do this to each other. To spring this on you is unfair. I would tell him that if he chooses to live apart from his wife and children that I would consider our marriage over.

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He is most likely cheating

This happened to me. He was cheating on me. But now I’ve been happily divorced since 2009. The space did me good too. Made me realise how much he was controlling me.

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This is a foot out the door. Take the kids with him, use this opportunity to get a job if you don’t have one, and become independent and used to paying your own bills by yourself. CO parent with him. 50/50 you one week him the next. Talk to a lawyer about how you want the custody divided. And specifically put in that there are to be no over night guest on either side, or introductions to other people unless they have been privately dating for 6 or more months for you both. Put your foot down for your kids. If he wanted to work on your marriage he would have proposed counseling or other options that didn’t include privacy separate living quarters and “space”.

The only reason a man needs space and that includes privacy is if he’s looking for sexy time with someone else. Period.

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get a good lawyer right away

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Contact a good lawyer and get advice on how to move forward.

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D i V O R C E him and he can have his little apartment and his space.

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When it comes to children they are the one affected the most. What do you think should be the next move? How are you going about this? :heart:

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Sounds like it. Get a lawyer. File for divorce and support. Have a custody agreement drawn up. Don’t wait.

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He is married for a reason. Either stay or go. Simple as that!!

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Well with out nowing y’all’s story or what led to this it’s hard to give advice or direction. But if he’s stateing he’s doing it cause he needs space then there could be few reasons behind it. But ur welcome to message me or my wife about are past experiences. Happy to share. But at the time it was me being interested in chasing other chicks around ( I was always drinking n being straight up dickhead to my wife n family I def wasn’t being the man I should have. We been together 13 years now. ) But I never could pull myself to all out cheat I have kisses 2 other woman but never anything more my self morals wouldn’t let me. But if it’s not about another woman then he may feel he douse everything and for everyone and he thinks he deserves better. Locked state of mind. He needs a life changing event to happen to him. Mine was 1 year in county jail then spent 2 years in state prison. More then enough time for me to rework my brain and thinking and reacking ext. But if he’s already got apartment n moved out the chances are hes already lost his I love with himself and switch his brain to not feel / really care about others. And by sounds of it he’s pros got a chick on side. But enough all this bla bla. My thoughts. Even if he hasn’t left. That ain’t no man. U done married a WOS ( for those that don’t now that meaning- WAIST OF SPERM). Sorry. Don’t give him the satisfaction of being lucky enough to be married to u. Devorce his as asap. He’s trying to take u as a sucker and get n eats his cake too. Smash that cake in his face n spit on it. He’s supposed to be a father a husband a best friend. Na he’s couwered and he don’t deserve u or the kids. Devorce, child support, and everything u can take him for. Bet u he will be crawling back trying to get u to love him. Good time to except him as a human and mabey give him visitation mabey. And as for the kids tell them the truth. Don’t hide things from them. They see u and hear u arguing n fighting. And most time they will think it’s there faluts. I been in the child shoes of this same issue. Few times. Messed me up for years. I’m 31 now and it still gets to me at time. My biggest was that my mother stoped me from seeing my dad when I was about 4 mabey 5 n I didn’t see him again till I was 15 when I found him. I had him for 2 years n he passed away. He was an awesome man now. But back then idk. I only new him 4 years before he was out of my life. I was so mad at my mother for this ( also I didn’t now the past but I got to hear both sides. ) Although those times were always drunk n arguing n fighting. They did love each other. And when I reunited with my dad n we ran into my mom they just talked like old friends. Not enemy’s. And they apologized for there pasts. Sorry again for rambling off. If he’s leaven let him leave. Fight to not chase him… but def devorce n visitations. Or not.

He wants the perks of a home but wants to live the single life. Kick his ares to the curb

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Hes doing this because he wants the single life, but he doesn’t want to pay child support.

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Maybe he thinks he won’t be responsible for child & spousal support this way. Where is your freedom?

Your right! Don’t be played!

Tell him he is either in this relationship or out. He doesn’t get to put things on hold anytime he wants some space. Y’all are married with kids. He needs to man up and stick around.

Get some counseling, get a lawyer.

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I would hold my chin high and tell him,… We’re married. You stay or leave for good. He’s up to no good. Just because he wants his own apartment. Should tell you he’s up to no good.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU! Thank

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Basically he wants to be able to keep a claim on you but doesn’t want you to know what he’s doing when he’s alone. You’re right, this is a foot out the door and a huge financial waste if he genuinely wants to be with you. It’s called a “Man Cave”… not an entirely other residence… remember that at the end of the day actions speak louder than words and he’s just left you and your children alone and moved out. Change the locks and take that man to court.

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That’s stupid. He doesn’t get to just make a decision for you both, you have a say too. If he is leaving the home, then maybe you should leave the relationship. Why would a man need his own private space other than to entertain things or people he can’t in front of you?

Kick his ass to the curb. It’s either he is all in or not. Married with kids isn’t for everyone.

He doesn’t want a divorce because he doesn’t want to pay child support or pay for the divorce.

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He wants the whole cake !! Hes in or out :woman_shrugging:

He can’t have both. He wants to live on his own, then it’s divorce time too. Your babies will be confused when he isn’t living there. Rip the bandaid off and live your life.

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Shoot my husband moves out then I’m done! I’m not going for any of that!

Chin up beautiful, you got this. Xxx

I’d immediately file for divorce and write down every interaction until court.

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Divorce him and get your shit together and do the damn thing

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Sounds like he may have a side chick and wants to see if it will work out or if he will stay with you! I agree with Debbie Cashiola Primrose, get a lawyer

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Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too… make the decision for him. If he needs space I ger that but there’s ways to have space. Without leaving. get some confidence and and stop putting up with that bs. Think if the tables were reverse what would he do

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You should file for one.

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Let him move out then file for divorce and custody

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Definitely has a side chick. File for divorce and custody

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let him move out get a divorce watch how fast he wants to come back but don’t let him. let him stew in his own crape!!!

I suspect a cheater.

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Pack his bags, let him rent and serve divorce papers.

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Lol 2 things might be happening — 1 ur up his ass so much he literally needs to get tf away or 2 he wants to leave / experience in a nice way being alone either or ull over think it it’s simpler that what it is

Get a divorce. It’s basically the end. Smh

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Follow your gut.
Separate and start thinking ahead for you and your children as soon as he’s out the door. For him to just spring that on you with no discussion, means he’s already got plans made for himself ‘for HIS space’. Once he’s gone, hire a lawyer quick and get your children sorted with support, etc. Then…start living for YOU again. So sorry this has happened.

Cut all personal ties with him. Business only. Give him exactly what he wants. Let him see the grass isn’t greener.

Um get a divorce. Smh u know this isn’t right in any way

Throw his ass to curb doesn’t want to have responsibility or child support

I have a great idea when he has that little new apt pack up the kids and drop them off. Tell him you need time to think. I know a woman who did that surprise hubby decided to come home.

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That’s so unfair!!Right after Covid 19 in the midst of these gas and food prices. You should see if you can get assistance with food and housing. Apply for section 8, energy and medical assistance.And find a good strong support group. I loved that I kept the kids and they were my mental health. They were so loving and supportive. My husband left me and when he noticed how well we were doing he wanted me to leave my new job and follow him. You may surprise yourself.

Duh! He’s leaving you with the house, kids and probably all the bills. Can you deal with all that responsibility on your own? Sue him by filing for divorce for abandonment!!!

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Just me but he’d be getting a divorce whether he wanted one or not. He rented that apartment for a reason!!!

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Let him abandon the house first. Dummy.

EDITED TO ADD: He is the dummy, not you.

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Your feeling sound right to me.
Did is get embelish on his decision?
Maybe just let him go and see what happens, set ground rules!!
Good luck and God Bless :pray:t2:

I am sure he doesnt want a divorce…. He would have to pay child support. If he gets an apartment he can do whatever he wants and not help with money or care.

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You feel like it’s a foot ouy the door… It’s actually 2 feet walking out the door Yes a close step to divorce, something is going on

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I hope it’s a 4 bedroom apartment so he has room for all his kids too. Wouldn’t it be nice if life worked this way? A woman tells a man after she rents a 1 or 2 bedroom she’s out? GTFO man, just make sure you have room for all the kids and enough money to support both houses. Find you a sugar daddy or two and date a little too. It’s your time to glow up girl.

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Must be nice to just remove yourself from reality huh? I hate men like this. I hope you have a new man by the time he decides to come back that is 10x better than him.

Next he will be telling you, he is seeing someone else and he didn’t mean for it to happen, it just happened.

Good luck.

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Grab all the money and run…then file for divorce he’s got another woman

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Fk that. Take your kids to your moms for a couple days…. And stake out his new apartment… get pictures of him & the side piece bc I can guarantee there is one… & that apartment probably isn’t his… the more PDA in the pics, the better. Once you have your proof, file for legal separation if that’s a prerequisite in your state & file for divorce on the grounds of adultery. Tell them you want Alimony AND child support…. He might be fkn a new b1t€h but you gonna fk him

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You’re either ALL IN or ALL OUT!!

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Get rid of him.
Just a excuse to see other women

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Leave now. Take care of you and your kids.

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Leave… Hes trying to cut slowly

He is planning on having a place to bring all the women he is planning to have. Or that he already has.

He paying both house bills ? :eyes: he just can’t quit like that .

He wants to mess around. He needs a place to bring the females to. He doesn’t want the divorce because he doesn’t want to pay spousal or child support. Tell him it’s not his choice to just check out on his responsibilities. He is a husband and father and he’s obligated to take care of his family in all aspects that a husband should. He either takes his new apartment and gives you the divorce or he gets his ass back home and makes good on his commitments! I don’t know about your wedding vows, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t like “For richer or poorer, in sickness and health, in good times and in bad, in our home or my apartment?!” No.

Red Flag he want his cake and eat it too Now if he has gotten an apartment already what does that tell you he’s gone just file for divorce you got the upper hand anyway

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Time to lawyer up. This sounds like a way he thinks he can avoid alimony and child support. Think again!

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Well, like you tell your cat or dog when they stand at the door like they want out and you open it and they don’t go out. IN OR OUT. Which is it.

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Doesn’t look good.
Try to get him to go to marriage counseling with you. This way you can hear what he has to say, get some closure & you can both say you tried to save the marriage.

If that’s what he wants to do let him, but tell him you what want a legal separation so that if there are any bills he stacks up with other women you won’t be responsible. It sounds to me like he wants his cake and be able to eat it too.

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First off that’s a very selfish move on his hand if he’s cheating or not cheating but he got an apartment so he can take a break from you and the kids are very selfish you don’t you have to take care of kids all the time this is not I wanna be married I don’t want to be married you need to just cut ties and let him go because if he’s going to be selfish like that what else can I do to you hell no I’ll be fine divorce tomorrow

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See a divorce laywer and prevent your husband from taking everything. You are entitled to half of his retirement, 401k, stocks, bonds, savings, cking and all property(sometimes the wife keeps the house. Do not trust him. He is getting as much away from you that he can. Also, you can request spousal support, child support and he keep insurance on the kids. Also, you at the time can get part of his SSI since you been married more than 10 yrs as long as you do not remarry. Forget him. Its time you put you and the kids first now. Make a family law appointment tommorrow for asap. Protect yourself.

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He’s wanting to keep u as his backup supply. Change your locks and file divorce and block him on everything. Move on baby girl. He’s not worth it​:muscle:t4::+1:t4::point_right:t4::point_left:t4::grimacing:

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He’s seeing someone else

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Perfect. He left. You get the house. File for divorce while hes out.

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Good advice . Martha never let man talk to you in this manner ,

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Girl he’s a jerk. Leave him

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Is definitely a ruff patch in marriage he really love you he will be back don’t feel pressured to rush the divorce and you two make up I rushed my divorce out of anger we still made up now we divorced but together made the relationship more complicated

File for legal separation protect yourself.

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TRUE LOVE LOVE doesn’t need a break … GOOD LORD… THANK YOU YOU … FORGIVE HIM AND TAKE YOUR HEART BACK … Give it to ONE WHO’S WORTHY … :pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray:

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Or better yet let him go and move on.

Tell him you are not prepared to hurt your children like this.
He either stays or goes for good.
Get an attorney.

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Space for a year? Most places has a year lease as others say file for divorce keep the house he left

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Cover your butt lady asap.