My husband told me he was in love with his best friend

I don’t know how to move on from here. My husband cheated on me years ago when he was in college and last night he confessed to me that he was in love with his best friend. She’s been over here with her kids, he’s helped her with just about anything she’s needed, I’ve watched her kids and I even watched her baby over night before. I am just so heart broken I don’t know what to do. He is going through a lot and we’re trying to get him diagnosed with 4 different things. We have basically been together since we were preteens and have been married for almost 4 1/2 years and we have 2 small children. I still love him. He’s currently away getting help so I have a few days to think about things. I don’t my children to grow up in a broken home

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband told me he was in love with his best friend

How do you not know what to do? You will be harming your children 100000% more if you stay with him. Two separated parents does NOT mean a broken home. I hate when people say that. The answer is as simple as one word: divorce. You will be doing your children a favor as things will never ever be the same with your husband going forward.

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Bet they are his kids. Get out girl. U deserve better than that.

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People fall out of love doesn’t make him a bad guy…so move on he don’t love you :woman_shrugging: it’s pretty simple to leave… as long as he is a good father to his children that’s all that matters

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A ‘broken’ home is better than a fake home filled with regret and anger.

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Who the friends baby daddy? :thinking:

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“A broken home” can sometimes mean two happy homes.

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Sometimes a broken home is better then an unhappy one… think of yourself too, u deserve to be with someone who loves u for you an not with u for the sake off it…

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A broken home would be better than raising a child in a home that the parents don’t love the other.And one parent is in love with somebody else. There is such a thing as co-parenting and it works well if both people can be adults and put their kids first.

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Honestly there’s really nothing you can do, but let him go. Yes it sucks and hurts but what else can ya do?

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I’d run cause he’s just going to keep on cheating your entire relationship

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If he loves her… Let that man go. He’s not yours to keep. Sorry sweetie but that’s reality. You will get through it and be better off in the end to find someone who is in love with you and wants you . Trust me.

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You’re not the one who broke the home. Move on

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Your home is already broken. He told you he loves someone else. Leave him and start over fresh. Your kids don’t need to grow up like that.

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I bet her baby is his too

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Leave! You deserve better & your kids deserve a happy mama! :wink:

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My dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this….from my experience, your home is already broken, it’s just pieced together under false pretenses

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If your referring to a divorced home as a “broken home” I assure you if you stay it will be a broken home! Your kids seeing their mother not loved the way she supposed to be loved and their father loving another female while being married to their mom is far worse then a single parent household!! I will most definitely take being a single parent over this situation!!

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There would.be no forgiveness for an affair that used you to watch her kids no diagnosis is an excuse for being that low of man you deserve better then that. You do.

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Don’t let them grow in a broken home.

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Individual therapy for you; family therapy for the entire family. You’re going to have to set your pain to the side to coparent.

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Let the best friend have him and leave him. He was already honest and told you he wants to be with her so let him, you aren’t the one who broke the home. Plus just because you aren’t with him doesn’t mean your kids can’t have a happy normal life

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Let him go. You will just keep getting hurt. I’m really sorry.

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Your home is already broken if he’s in love with someone else

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You mentioned she has a baby do you know if the baby’s his or not?

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Leave him get child support

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I didn’t grow up in a broken home, but wish I had. There are far worse things for a child to have to be subjected to.

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Who cares about a broken home, better than a shitty toxic one :woozy_face::woman_shrugging:

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You’re already in a broken home. He loves another woman, are you sure that baby isn’t his? Let him go and concentrate on getting through this yourself and with your kids. It must be awful for you but if he loves someone else you can’t force him to stay.

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My dear, it never ends good if you stay. You want your children to have a Happy, Healthy mother. Not an unhappy one. It’s hard, trust me I know from experience. But you must do what you need to do for your own sake. Your kids can still see their dad and still have a relationship with him. You have to let him go for your sake

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Don’t let a man tell you twice, he don’t want you.

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I’ve got two son’s co- parenting just fine. Just because you don’t continue to live a lie, doesn’t mean miserable kids. The easier you make it for them, the easier it will be for you. He’s an ass, yes, but an honest ass

Children growing up in a broken home is better than an unhappy home. Prayers for you girl

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Leave and don’t look back. Cheats once he’ll do it again regardless. You deserve better x

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I’m sorry for the pain you’re enduring. Put you and your children first, he put himself first, now you know where he stands.

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If you stay your keeping you and children in a broken home. You all deserve more :heart:

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Broken home doesn’t have to be a bad thing. A loveless marriage, is not a happy home. Staying with someone for the sake of the kids, is not a happy home. Two separate loving homes can be a great thing. You said this best friends he’s in love with has an infant, Are you sure this infant isn’t his?

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The home is already broken. Pray about it and follow what you know to be right for you and your family

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When he is discharged from the hospital he can go to her house. Let her have him. Why would you want to raise your children in a home that their father doesn’t love their mother? A happy and healthy environment is what your children need and deserve.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…

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How about having an open marriage

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Your husband is confessing to loving ANOTHER woman. That’s a broken home. Period.

Get divorced, get the support you need for your children and don’t look back

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It’s all about trust. If you don’t think you can ever fully trust him again, then what kind of future can you really have, not to mention the impact of all of this on your children.

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What are you teaching your children by accepting that behavior and especially since that has happened in the past…girl, your young children will grow into big children with the wrong idea about love and respect.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

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I understand you don’t want your children growing up in a broken home. But if you stay your keeping them in a broken home. And teaching them wrong about love and what a marriage is supposed to be.

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Men and women shouldn’t be friends

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Your making Excuses for him!
Get on with you and your childrens lives as you know it should .

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You prefer them to grow up in an unhappy home and learn that this is how relationships are? Parents splitting home doesn’t automatically mean the kid grows up in broken homes.

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A broken home is a home where people stay together ‘for the kids’. A broken home is where people feel forced to stay together where they don’t want to be.

A broken home ISN’T separated parents / families. That can make a home very happy and less toxic.

If he doesn’t love you, he shouldn’t be there playing happy families

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I’d rather my kids live in a happy “broken” home. Than living through the unhappiness y’all will feel if this continues and he truly loves her more than you

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Meh broken smoken, I use my time while they are gone to clean, organize, work overtime, dates, lots of things that gave me my life back out of a shit situation.

The home is already broken. You need to pray and think really hard what you want to do with your life and the kids lives. I will be praying for you and those children

Sad situation, but move on , have respect for yourself.

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If they’re best friends I would guess that the feeling is mutual. And it’s probably been that way for a long time. And the fact that they couldn’t do anything about their love it just makes the anticipation even more. “You always want what you can’t have”, right? It makes you want it even more.
It’s going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but I’d walk away.

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Coming from a “broken home,” staying pretending it’s okay…gets worse…

Life gets better let someone love all of you :two_hearts:

If he thinks he’s in love with her, believe him. If he loved you he wouldn’t do this. Get therapy for YOU. Kids are better off with two happy parents apart than staying together and miserable for the sake of them. They aren’t dumb. They pick up on things far earlier than you’ll ever realize.

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It will be more broken if you stay together and force something that just isn’t. If he loves someone else and not you then walk away with dignity and know your worth. It is better to walk away as friends and be able to stay civil. If you don’t then you may grow to hate him later.

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I could never stay with a man if he admitted being in love with someone else that is no way to live . It may be hard but you will work through it and get over him and hopefully find someone that will love only you and appreciate you. You have to go be happy .

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Better broken than toxic… u leave for ur children.

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The fact she is his best friend was a clue, it needs to be over.

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Have you talked to her and is she married?
This is not uncommon unfortunately. She might not feel the same about hi.

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Why are you making excuses for his poor behavior ? He cheated you said years ago, so he has looked at you, kissed you, had sex with you while lying straight to your face, and her too. You walk away, get your support, and find a man that wouldn’t do that to you.

Staying in a broken home is always the excuse that “ I don’t want my children in a broken home “ they are already in a broken home. You are exposing them to a home that is ok with cheating which will lead later in life to think it’s ok for a spouse to cheat. Leave him and find someone that will love you and show your kids the real way a marriage is supposed to be

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I’m so sorry for your pain. As hard as it may be moving on is probably what’s best for you and your family. Best wishes, I hope you find strength to get through this. In the end you will be better off.

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A broken home is one where the adults are unhappy not one where there’s only one parent. He says he loves another woman…help him pack

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Fighting a losing battle…He doesn’t love you like he should… Move on with your children.

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If he cheats once, he will do it again and again. Best to get rid of him and care for your children. A broken home is much better than a loveless one.

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I personally would let him move out, the feelings will be mutual and I’d never be able to stay in the same room as them without feeling like a spare part. Get some help for yourself, learn to love yourself again and prioritise you and your children needs over his.

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A broken home is two unhappy people in an unhappy marriage which will always end up distorting the children’s view of marriage

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You can’t help who you love. He came out and was honest… you can still love him and keep a close relationship as you do share children together but everyone deserves to be happyyy, I’d let him go …

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He’s telling you he loves someone else, you cannot force him to love you. You need to move on and let him go

Out of curiosity, how old are yall? It says y’all have been together since teenagers?? If so, it’s no surprise that the relationship has grown and changed. People grow and change, and they HAVE to choose to love the other person and to honor the marriage in order for it to work and last for years. Sounds like he has checked out.

It’s time to move on. Even if you manage to guilt him into staying, he will only grow to resent you and your children will see and feel this. Then they will grow up thinking that is what a relationship is supposed to be like. Set a better example for your children. You can find someone who is going to truly honor and cherish you like a husband and partner should. You deserve it, and once you find that, you will see the difference.

I am sorry that your marriage didn’t work out, but I promise you, better is around the corner.

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So you rather have your children in a toxic household… It’s not a broken home if your not together.

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Never stay together for the “childrens sake” children rather see their parents happy, then miserable in a forced relationship. Many people think that kids want their parents together but in reality they just want their parents happy. Sadly, You’re already in a broken home, even if you do decide to stay, and If you do decide to stay all trust will he gone and you will question everything your husband does and that’s just not a good way to live.

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He choose to marry you even though he was in love with someone else? Steupes ! He doesn’t deserve to be happy because he is ruining his on family

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loving homes is what’s important…and if your husband says he doesn’t love you…it’s time to move on …and love yourself and your kids. If your going to be on any relationship what your kids should see from that is LOVE…

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My daughters dad and I haven’t been together since I was 6 months pregnant with her and she’s 9 years old. She’s as happy as happy as can be and we’ve never gotten along better.

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I always believed that home is where love is .

You can’t hold on to something that he doesn’t mutually want. it’s just going to hurt you more

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A broken home is better than an unhappy home… his and your actions set examples and so your children will learn that this is healthy and it’s not… if he doesn’t change you need to put you first, and your children and being selfish to be happy is the best thing a mama can do for her babies… sorry your heart is hurting*

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Hun a broken home is a home that doesn’t function not a single parent home it’s alot to think about right now sweetie, firstly does she know this? Secondly who says in a few years time you can’t be even happier with someone else or yourself? He’s been honest about this (not sticking up for him as he should of ended this himself if he has feelings for someone else no matter who it is)
Take one step at a time, sending bugs your way x

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Move him out and focus on your and your kids. Much love :heart:

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Always always remember- two happy homes is far better than one unhappy home.
I left my relationship/marriage of just over 15 years with 3 young kids and it’s the best choice I ever made!

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You are in a BROKEN HOME NOW. #readthatagain

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Okay you can’t hold him hostage in a marriage because you don’t want a broken home for your kids. That makes a hard life for them children as well

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A broken home is an excuse for us not to leave, because we’re admittedly not thinking of our children, we’re thinking of ourselves. He is not it for you, and there’s no groveling, begging or anything you can do.

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He won’t let the other woman go i promise. U can’t live like that. Free yourself of the extended heart ache and walk away with ur dignity

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Honey if he’s in love with someone else the homes already broken. If you stay you will stay knowing that you are second to her every day for the rest of your life. And that will be much worse on the kids and you than 2 separate happy homes

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A “broken” home is better than an unhappy home.

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That is a broken home now go find happiness for you and your kids :100:

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Lady, your heart is broken now but just think if he leaves now you won’t have to take care of him when he is diagnosed. Let her look after him. I am sure you don’t want to look after a man who doesn’t love you. Let leave, he will still be a father to your children but you have a chance to start over. Let the bastard go he doesn’t deserve you. If you look after him he wouldn’t appreciate it. Dump HD sorry ass.

So, toxic & built on lies is fine? :confused:
He’s in love with someone else but you want to what…?? What is there to work out?
Would you tell your daughter to stick around with a man who didn’t love her?
I don’t care what he’s diagnosed with, that won’t make him love you the way you deserve.

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I’m so sorry this is happening to you. My advice is to seek therapy. To help you process and navigate your situation. I also think family therapy may be a good option so you have the tools to communicate and successfully coparent…plus your kids could benefit from it. I will say my father was the same and the best thing my mom ever did was leave. It shows the kids how you should and shouldn’t be treated in a marriage. Also 2 happy homes are better then 1 that becomes a toxic environment. You cannot change how he feels or his actions. But you can control how you respond to it. Actions have consequences. My other advice is speak to an attorney* and file for custody, child support, DIVORCE (site adultery for reason plus anything else lawyer recommends), and don’t forget about ALIMONY. You and the kids deserve better. What one man won’t do another man will.

U may love u
But if he cheated on u once and now again

Once a cheater always a cheater

U deserve better

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I say tell him don’t let the door hit you in ass getting out. And by the way don’t worry about packing your shit it’s done outside. You deserve better, let him go and don’t look back

Home is already broken, dear. Keeping them in a toxic environment of parents cheating, lying and fighting is much worse for them.

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Have they been messing around? Is the baby you kept overnight actually your husbands :eyes:

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Your raising them in a broken home right now, when there is no love uits already broken

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A home isn’t broken unless you let it be. Being in a loveless marriage and staying for the sake of your children…THAT is a broken home. Truth is you’ve been together since you were children, and people grow up and grow apart. Just the way things go sometimes.
I’d ask him to leave the home, that way you don’t have to uproot your children. On this, your husband is being honest with you and is likely trying to save you from more hurt…listen to him. Don’t force anything, just accept and make a plan. You’ll get thru it and so will your kids

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