My husband told me I could not get a job...thoughts?

i asked my husband if I could get a job that starts after his ends…and he straight up toldme no…that he doesnt wanna be stuck watching the kids so he got a second job…do I have a right to be mad? Like I just wnated a little break from the kids while brining in some income and this dude straight up said no…he doesnt wanna babysit his kids.


Maybe I let my hubby talk to him coz mines the total opposite prefers to watch kids and let me do the hard work of earning :grin::grin::grin::grin: I would really wanna just stay home be with my kids and go back to school. Enjoy your time with your kids for now coz once they are in school you’ll have time to work or for yourself. I see that in my husband’s. He gets to take a nap or watch or play after school dropoff for at least 3 hours.

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Get a work from home job my daughter does it

You have every right to be mad. Being a stay home mom is HARD!!! Mentally I definitely wanted a break in any way I could get one. Driving alone, grocery store trip alone, going on a walk alone.

I would explain to him how this makes YOU feel. Don’t label his emotions or his behaviors. Have a conversation about YOUR feelings calmly. If he can’t be calm about it then tell him you’ll discuss it later. Don’t push the subject but don’t let it slide.

He needs to be told by you how this makes YOU feel. Explain what you would like to have happen.


Well you are being submissive by asking him first, which is good quality of a wife. However, you have a right to excel in your career too you know. He can’t take stop that.

I’d leave unless he can let you, my partner would never keep me trapped like that. Its abusive.


Get the job and then be ready when he gets home.

You can be mad, it’s mad worthy. My opinion on how that affects your relationship doesn’t matter. But I definitely think it should be a mutual agreement, not a he decided for us thing.

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He’ll yeah…u have a right!!

There should be some compromise that ain’t right

It’s not babysitting when it’s your own kids.


I’d be getting a job and a babysitter haha


Wow. I’ve got nothing nice to say :zipper_mouth_face::zipper_mouth_face::zipper_mouth_face:

Anyone else you could have watch them ? Show him, you don’t need him.


Have you told him you’re going to leave if he doesn’t do better as a father and husband and help with the children so you can have you time? I’d tell him just to see his reaction and that will decide if you need to leave him or stay and give him a second chance.


Those divorce papers would be coming in hot. He doesn’t want to be stuck with his kids? That’s disgusting. He is hindering your freedom? You have one life and one life only, are you willing to be under his thumb for it? My marriage would be ending so quick.


Babysitting his own kids!
Tell him it’s called PARENTING

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Take advantage of being a stay at home mother. Children need security knowing that when they come home from school you will be there. Your there for their homework and more. Yes, you do have the right to be upset with your husband, you need that break and they’re his kids too.


Tell him that you’re sorry to inform him this but it’s called PARENTING, not babysitting - which he obviously needs to step up and do!


Tell him you’re getting job and since he doesn’t want to watch his children that he can spilt the cost of daycare with you. Problem solved.


Leave him… Then when it’s his turn for visitation he’ll have no other option but to “babysit” his kids


If he wants to die younger and NOT know his children, wife, family… I say good luck to him… BEST MOMENTS LIFE OFFERS ONE, IS TIME WITH YOUR BABIES… SOAK in all the love and let him go hun…
You don’t NEED an extra rebellious man CHILD. Life is hard enough. Hugs and a boot :boot: :hugs: :heart:


So read your paragraph again. There is more stuff wrong like having to ask if you can get a job, not wanting to babysit his children and you not thinking you have the right to be mad:

First of all if you wanna job go get a job. That should have been a discussion on how you’d make that work, how many hours you could do it full/part time, kids schedules, etc. BUT he is NOT your ruler, king, master or not should he hold the power to say no.

This are his children. That’s NOT babysitting as they are as much his responsibility as yours. You don’t babysit your kids. You are withi them a lot . I read once that a stay at home mom’s responsibilities is the equivalent of 3 full time jobs. You deserve to have a break. I bet he can pretty much anything and you probably have lost the ability to have a hobby, see friends, go to the store by yourself. Be something other than a mom and wife by having your own identity outside of that. I was and am a stay home Mom with periods of working part-time at night to avoid sitter fees, worked for 8 years full time and back home two years ago. I get wanting and needing a break and having something that is just yours.

This whole post is a red flag. He shouldn’t be able to control you .

So YES be mad. Tell him you will be getting a job as he is responsible for the kids as much as you are and he is capable of caring for the children . Those are HIS kids. You don’t babysit your kids.

Also you are entitled to your feelings. Wanna be mad be mad. Asking if you have the right to your feelings is further control of the situation.

Girl you don’t have a husband you have a warden.


Parents don’t baby sit their kids and yes you have every right to be mad it should have to discussed with pro and cons of you going back to work and him being home after work etc compromise that’s how marriage wotks not just right have refused there and then yout not a child etc plus you don’t ask you tell him you want yo discuss going back to work you don’t ask permission to do anything you work it out together if this doesn’t work out or you can sir Down and have a simple conversation then that shows red flags n you need to have a think going further

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I wouldn’t have asked I just would have done it. Shame on him! I’d be mad too!


This is why I choose to be single


Imagine being in a marriage where u have to ask to get a job and then he says no lol i feel bad if woman actually puts up woth this. Life is so short


My bf watches my kids when I work that’s crazy … Why would he not let you work I be mad


It’s not babysitting when it’s your own kids ! It’s parenting and spending some quality time with you’re kiddos


Ummm yes you should be livid. 1. You asked permission? You don’t need his permission! Did he ask your permission to work? 2. He’s not babysitting if they’re his own kids, it’s called parenting!
3. You deserve a life outside of the house if that’s what you want!
Sounds like financial abuse to me, and I couldn’t have children with someone who doesn’t want to be involved in the parenting!!!


You women be letting these men control your life and thats why your’ll end up in nonsense.

There’s just too much wrong with this.


Stuck babysitting his own kids? You can’t babysit your own kids! May aswell be single

After 4 yrs staying home with my twins I wanted to go back to work. He worked 4 10’s. Told me I had to pay the childcare bill because I wanted to work. I sure did! Love my kids with everything in me but I was losing my sanity staying home and doing everything all alone as he was a drunk when he was home.


After being with someone who wouldn’t “let” me see a dr alone or go for a cup.of coffee with a friend. He also tried to limit the amount of time I was working as so I didn’t have enough money to leave… never again


Easier to throw the whole damn man away. Get a baby sitter then go get your job babe :black_heart::heart_hands:

You ask him…
That was your first mistake.
You don’t need his permission


RUN!!! A"man" that doesn’t want you to work, is controlling you. Reach out to your family/friends to see if they can help you with the kids until you can get the money for child care. Get you a job, even if it is part time during the day. I don’t know why “men” think it’s babysitting when it’s their own children.


Yikes…we alternated working till I finished nursing school now guess what he does it all I just make the money and we both are ok with that. He takes care of the kids the house the yard the cars me I got the better end lol.

You can get a work from home job and still watch the kids. Bringing in income+watching the kids= Win/Win for everyone. I absolutely love my work from home job. I also make almost double than what I would be making if I took a job that was outside of my home. So there’s that too.


You asked permission? Tell him you’re getting a job and if he doesn’t like it tell him to leave, he obviously doesn’t want to be a parent.


Your first mistake was asking him…


You ASKED?? You don’t need to ask him !!!


Being a mom I understand the burn out that raising kinds 24/7 365 can cause. Regardless if you’re a stay at home mom or not you deserve some alone time away from the kids. Don’t ever feel guilty or let anyone make you feel that way. I think it’s a crappy thing for him to say he doesn’t want to watch his own children. But he did step up and get a second job. Not a lot of husbands would do that. He is taking care of the family which is great. I think you both need some decompression away from the kids. It’s completely healthy to pour into your own cup. Have a serious talk and you both need to get your points across. I don’t think you should leave him yet. There seems to be hope with this one.


Those are his children. It’s not “babysitting “.
Maybe something part time opposite of his shifts so you both can have individual time with the children? Or 1 or 2 shifts and hire a family member or a safe sitter?
And no you shouldn’t have to even “ask”.
You should sit down and have a conversation about how you feel before it becomes a real problem in the future is my suggestion.

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  1. Asking permission to go to work is ridiculous.
  2. He needs to watch his kids on the weekend then.
  3. He’s a parent not a babysitter
  4. I would get a job anyway and get a friend or relative to watch the kids if your husband can’t.

Wow wtf it callf be a dad take care of the kids u maded n help the mama

That’s bull crap I wouldn’t put up with that


Hmmm yeah dads don’t babysit their kids hahahaha it’s called parenting


He can’t tell you what to do, you don’t need his permission to be an adult and get a job, id not only get a job but I’d leave him too,how can he not want to be “stuck” with the kids, its called being a parent, run, don’t walk,run


Time to throw out the whole husband

It’s not “babysitting” when you’re a PARENT.

He didn’t say babysit in this paragraph he said watch. She said babysit. I think he also has a right in their family to say what makes him the happy also. If the kids are like 2 years and younger I get that if possible someone should stay home

What the actual. That’s abusive straight up. I’d never ask permission to get a job. He needs to chill on the drinking. Seems that is more important to him than your happiness and sanity


I never understood one adult asking another adult for “permission” to do something. I haven’t asked anyone’s permission for anything since I was under the age of 18. That’s where you lost me. I feel like this is how Lifetime movies start. A wife not “allowed” to work. You gotta put a stop to that now or there’s no telling what else he’ll be having you “ask” him permission for.

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Why would you ask? You should have found a job and once you got it tell him hes watching the kids while you go to work

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Get a sitter & get a job - he’s not your Master, God or King & you do NOT have to obey him !!!


WTF he needs a reality check he ain’t no babysitter he is a dad no such thing as that sort of nonsense and why is not acceptable for u to have a job takes 2 ppl to raise a family and putting money and food on the table for the family Is priority, go get that job I say…

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Babysitting is not meant for YOUR kids.
I would get the job and leave him there without asking. The fact that u asked permission shows the dynamic in the house
Take it back !!!

Tell him you’re getting a part time job for some mental clarity and if he doesn’t want to watch HIS kids, he’s more than welcome to pay for a sitter so he can have his free time :woman_shrugging:t2::joy:


Look for part time while he’s at work.

Taking care of his own kids is not babysitting.

It’s not babysitting his children it’s parenting his children you have access to the bank account right ? I would start pulling out money and putting it in another account that only has your name on it then I would also pull money out of that account for daycare they are his children and if doesn’t want to care for them then he should pay for them to be taken care of why you get a job I would even go as far as putting him on child support and yes you can put the other parent on child support even if you live with them but idk mental health is absolutely number one and him not participating in raising HIS CHILDREN is not okay just because he works doesn’t mean anything if he isn’t helping you and BEING YOUR PARTNER

You asked him like you’re a child so he treats you like one. Smfh

I would get a job and a baby sitter to get out of the house

Should you be upset? Yes.
At least he was honest with you. Now you know how he really feels about your children.
I recommend getting a trustworthy sitter if you want to leave the kids to work. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t like your children well enough to raise them and you shouldn’t try to force alone time between him and them.
At this point you should probably be glad he hasn’t left as long as he isn’t abusing you or the kids.

Girl I hope you really read these comments. That’s all. These ladies are correct. No permits needed. He can pay for childcare. Sounds controlled to me. Smh

I couldn’t be married to someone who didn’t even want to spend time with their kids.


I’d be wary that he wants to control you and have him dependent on him. He’s probably using the kids to “keep you at home” and financially dependent on him😨

Go get that job and hire babysitter :sweat: . You will have that break that you need, have a great relationship with your kids and you will have financial independence :revolving_hearts:

Also remind your husband that taking care and spending time with HIS kids is “parenting” NoT baby-sitting :roll_eyes:

He should also contribute to baby-sitter😏

Your basically a single parent now with an extra kid “Him” get rid


I’d tell him he now has to pay you (whatever his second income is as a stay home fee). That entire income is yours if he ask why simply say because I have supplies I need every day to keep my sanity

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Why are you listening to him who put him in charge your your own person go and do what you want to do

If he stops working to stay at home so you can work how much a month would you :balance_scale:lose? Would your job cover this loss? because apparently you have not heard of a daycare. :roll_eyes:

He doesn’t want to watch his kids? Then maybe he shouldn’t have actively participated in making them. Get a job, throw the whole man away, and find a sitter or daycare. You deserve financial independence and a break from your kids.

You have to go back I’m not sure 5 maybe 6 decades to catch up to a time that level of misogyny was normal, its up to you whether you going to acquiesce to it


never ask if you can get a job. You just go and do it… Put kids in daycare and go to work. If you can do it on your own then id do that too.

You’ve answered your own question… he doesn’t want to babysit his own kids. What kind of father says that? Find a better father. Also the fact that your allowing this man tell you what you can and can’t do instead of encouraging you to be your best is disgusting. Time to Make a change.

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Uh h*ll no. Sorry, that sounds toxic af. As a parent, you don’t “baby sit” your children. I’ve always been the breadwinner in my family, but my husband and I both work full time jobs and we both share in all of the responsibilities of raising our children. My husband pays childcare, and I pay rent and utilities and we each make our own car payments and cellphone bills. It’s called being a team and being parents.

Dad’s do not babysit their kids. It’s called parenting. If he’s calling it babysitting then send him back to his momma until he grows up and is ready to be an adult.


I would let him know you’re getting a part time job (if part time is what you’re looking for) even if you want full time. That is your choice not his, he can help take care of the kids there is NO reason he shouldn’t be helping with the kids. Moms definitely deserve breaks as well. Do you have family around that could help with the kids? Maybe you could find a job while they’re in school (if they’re school aged). Not sure what city you’re in but my son hangs out with his friends as the ymca after school. Maybe having some friends help out. You got this momma, if he isn’t willing to help then it’s time to show him you don’t need him. Controlling you is not cool.

If he gets a second job then when does he spend time with the kids? He needs to spend time with the kids, too.

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I hate when men think it’s still 1950, it’s his kids too. Do what you want, if he doesn’t like it oh well. If he says anything it’s on him. I would not let my husband say what I could do.

Maybe he should be leaving since “he doesn’t want to babysit” just get child support and get a job you don’t need him.,

Red flags he doesn’t like his kids ?!

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If they’re his kids it’s not called babysitting…. It’s called being a parent.

It’s not babysitting when they’re his own children. He sounds like a loser

Sounds like you need a job and a divorce. What an ass

You are a grown woman do what you want. why give him the control over your life? Instead of asking can I get a job, inform him your going to get a job or better yet just go get one and not tell him until he asks. Never let a man control you in any way shape or form. If you need a babysitter depends on how old the kids are. If there is a teenager they can babysit and give them some spending money, if not ask relatives if they would watch the kids. Also tell him he isn’t a babysitter he is their parent and start acting like it.


He got a second job so that he doesn’t have to look after the kids.,.then why did he agre to have kids if he doesn’t even wanna see them? Get rid of the lowlife

Yall better stay off of FB asking for advice. Just saying.

Get a job while the children are in school. No sitter needed…

Is he your daddy? Why do you let a boy control you? Put the kids in daycare and go make a life, make a career! Be a strong woman! Stop being weak

I saw something that really sank deep with me. How you see them and how they make you feel, is 2 different things. You need to figure out how he makes you feel and decide if you can live with that.

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Sounds like 1960 when most Mom’s stayed at home.
Personally, if you can. Afford it, it is a blessing for kids to have a sahm.

Wow. That’s all I can say. He is NOT your master. If you have no say so in this relationship hope it makes you happy. Otherwise grow a pair and stand up and say he isn’t your boss.

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Great Dad! Get a job and a sitter

Use his income for a sitter, go relax have lunch with friends a movie on him :blush:


I love how he said babysits

It’s not babysitting! It’s parenting!


I would get a job regardless

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