Get a sitter and go out a day or two a week to have a break while he’s working then, if that’s how he wants to be 
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1st you discuss with your husband what YOUR NEEDS ARE. You show respect to him and your family by TALKING to them. You do NOT ask permission, you GRANT permission to yourself. IF YOU THINK “he’s” the decision maker for the family, you are giving him the power over you & that’s not good, period. and apparently he doesn’t want to be with His kids, looser. It’s easier to work two and three jobs than raise a family. I know!
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Respectfully, divorce him.
If my hubs told me I couldn’t work, even if my income didn’t support the entire household, but still helped, he would either put up and shut up or move tf out. If your hubs can’t match your energy and realize you need a break and his kids are ALSO HIS RESPONSIBILITY than exchange him for a man/partner that won’t mind sharing the workload.
Get day care for the hours you want and go anyway.
I feel your pain. I wish I could work as well, but I can’t. It’s a very difficult situation. 
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He’s your boss?
You do what you want. If you want to get a job then he’s not gonna have a choice but to watch his own kids
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Get a part time one while the kids are in school
So basically he doesn’t wanna be a dad to his kids… I’d be pissed. 1. Those kids are not your sole responsibility. You deserve a break even if it is to work. 2. He is NOT your boss. He is your partner and he should NOT control you. 3.what does that say to you about what type of father he is…
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No man tells me no. You live what you allow.
He doesn’t wanna baby sit the kids and Also sounds like he doesn’t want to gain some independence maybe try to find something part time and see if any grand parents could help out. With the kids
Ugh can’t believe… but What about part time while kids are in school?
I would definitely step back n reevaluate ur relationship. Me personally I’d leave with my kids n get up on feet n hire a baby sitter and get a job. No man should tell u what u can n can not do! Maybe he’s planning on leaving u hi n dry. Never depend on anyone
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Bahaaaa. Tell me No, I’ll be sure and do it for sure now.
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I’d still get a job and hire a local teenager for a few hours in the evening
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Why did you ask him? Is he your keeper?
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Why is he your boss? You are a grown woman and he made those children he can damn sure watch them while you are working! Stand your ground!
First mistake you made was asking.
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He better get nanny with that second job daycare or sumpn we equal and we both don’t wanna bbysit the kids lol split that fee and carry on this ain’t the 1700’s no more
Sounds like my husband… it is what it is. We signed up for this bs
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I have to agree with most in here on you shouldn’t have to ask permission. But I don’t agree that you should run as many say. This is something that needs to be discussed to find the reason why he said he doesn’t want you working.
Wow. Just wow. Well, I’m going to take a shot n assume that hes one of those guys who like to pull the guilt card about how hes the bread winner and him working is much harder than ur job as a stay at home parent. If I’m right about that, than PLEASE , nxt time he dares to say that u mention how if ur job is so easy but he would rather get TWO jobs than have u work part time cuz he can’t look after the kids a few hours a day. No one should be allowed to tell u that u cant work. I think its a great idea for stay at home moms to get a job, even if its a part time job with only a few hours a week because than if anything happens they have a job to fall back on. They don’t have to stay in a relationship because they have no income. Plus, it gives moms a life outside the house. Which they deserve! So many reasons its a awesome idea for u to work. Tell him u guys need to meet in the middle cuz he’s not allowed to tell u what to do
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Being a single parent in a marriage is more difficult than being a single parent.
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First Mistake was asking him. You do you seems like he just doesn’t want to be around Never depend on a man you never know when you gotta bounce out.
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Accept it 100% while you get your ducks in a row. Speak with different lawyers (many of them will help you for low payments or pro bono because I believe they’re required to do a certain amount of free/community work, called pro bono) get an exit plan in place, begin filing for child support, housing assistance and food stamps. Get everything in place then as soon as it is, get out and get out fast. I would actually start with the housing.
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Well, that wouldn’t stop me, but then everyone is not like me.
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Yea this is on you lol. Why Tf are you giving him a choice?
Wow tell him to pay for child care so you can go to work
Babysit his kids
What !!!
Get a job
Put them in childcare
And you married this guy? Good heavans…good luck.
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Um, you have a right to work whether he likes it or not. Why do women ask for permission? You don’t need his permission.
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Sounds like he wants to financially control/abuse you.
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Very wrong! Mine told me if I start working full time we would get a divorce. He’s scared ill leave him… well, guess what?!
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Nope. That is financial abuse as well as emotional abuse if he isn’t willing to give you a break from having the kids 24/7.
P.S. It isn’t babysitting if they’re HIS kids. It’s called PARENTING
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First off he is your husband, not your father, them children are his responsibility too. When my husband told me no I wasn’t allowed to work because he didn’t want to be stuck home with them… I went and got a job and told him if he didn’t want to man up and be a father then pay the daycare of my choice 
No women should feel guilty to want to have a break from kids and working to bring in money while doing it is something that will help the whole family… while you get alittle sanity. My advice is find a job and let him know the day you’ll be starting and he is to be home with the kids. If he doesn’t like that, then he can pay out of pocket for the childcare!
Best of luck to you!
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It’s not babysitting if it’s his kids, it’s called responsibilities.
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They are his kids. Its not babysitting its called being a dad
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Every time I’ve seen this firsthand there’s either emotional/mental & or financial abuse. This is a time I would step back, evaluate the relationship & possibly split.
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You go get a job and do what you gotta do for you, yours. Try to find someone to watch them possibly part of the time. I found a drop in daycare that is only $5.50 an hour that he likes going to. But I only have one so i understand if that’s infeasible. Or you could just get a third shift/swing shift job lol he can’t work 24/7 and I’ll be dammned if my man starts telling me what I can and can’t do. Watch me. Especially if it’s something I’m 1. Not “asking” or 2. Want to do for myself (of course we have certain things we have boundaries with like with spending a lot of $ or big purchases.
I went through something similar a few years ago. My son was starting kindergarten and I was planning to go back to work then as well. I desperately needed dental work done. No insurance. But I decided I needed to get them done for my health and appearance and going back to doing hair is a very up close and personal job and I was so self conscious. So I told my husband I was gonna start saving once I went back to work that next fall and he basically told me I didn’t need it or we had more important things to spend money on or I even got “what about mine”. To make things shorter the next day I went in and got rehired and started that weekend and I not only was saving, I was saving every cent I made untill I had enough to get my teeth completely fixed.
I’m still at work and they work around my kids school schedule then on weekends when my husband isn’t working I leave him with him, I shouldn’t need to ask for him to watch his own kid while I go to WORK. And during the summer I use the drop in daycare more. In the end it’s not like your “asking” to go out drinking or doing anything that isn’t contributing to the household. Do what you gotta do. I know you can figure it out. 
compromise goes a long way too in these situations
Personally I’d tell him to kiss it !! Get a job never let a man have full control of everything .
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Bye 
sorry but someone will never tell me I am not ALLOWED to get a job
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I’m still stuck on “I asked,” lol
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Wow. Yes! Be angry! Refuse to be controlled. Put your foot down. Don’t let him dictate you! I’d be divorced so fast.
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I wouldn’t have asked permission…
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First of all you never ask permission from your husband to do anything. You sit down and talk about it. If he doesn’t want to be with his children maybe he should leave and you get a job and he can pay child support.
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My thoughts are, he’d be single and I’d be out.
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I would tell him to be sure to keep that second job, he’s going to need it to pay child support and alimony. It is not wrong to want and need time outside the home. Adults need connections with other adults even if they have children.
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I mean, of course you have the right to be mad, but if my husband wants to work extra so I can be home with my babies I am for it. It’s something I would never ask, but I’m not going to turn it down. If you feel like you want to for sure Work, then it needs to be a serious sit down calmly. You deserve that right as well.
You have the right to be mad. He’s shirking his parental role by avoiding actively being a parent. “Working” doesn’t constitute the beginning and end of his responsibility as a parent. Interaction, love, conversations that have meaning, etc: those are also part of the package.
Not only that: but not “allowing” you to have a job can actually be a tool used for financial abuse.
You are a partner in this relationship: don’t ask for permission ever. You are not beneath him - he is not beneath you: it’s 50/50 mutual respect or there is no relationship bc it’s slavery.
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You shouldn’t ask. You’re a whole grown woman. I’d bet he doesn’t ask. He trapping you so you’re dependent on him. Get a job, look into resources for daycare and housing, and file divorce.
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See if grandma and grandpa can watch them a few days a week while you work. Never ask permission to your husband. I discuss things with mine, but I don’t ask his permission.
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Well we know who wears the pants in that family!
Get family to watch the kids and go get a job anyway.
It’s suppose to be 50 /50
So get a job and tell him. I’m going to work, kids in bed @ 8. Love you
Make sure you spend all that extra income on fun outings & trips for you and the kids.
Well, he wouldn’t be ‘babysitting’ his kids. He would be parenting.
Get a job with the same hours as his And put them in daycare . Or find a Mother’s Day out programs and just take a day off . I mean you’re asking for time without your kids and he’s asking for time without his kids but somehow he’s selfish and you’re not ? That doesn’t make sense really. But i am sorry that you’re in a difficult situation that is hard to navigate , life is full of them 
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Tell him GOODBYE, see a Lawyer, get good child support, then get a job and send the kids to Child Care while you work. Tell him he doesn’t need to “babysit” his own children anymore.
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Its not babysitting and you dont need his permission. He can parent his children
Wow! You most certainly have a right to be upset. Hopefully he’s not also controlling the money and limiting/tracking your spending. You shouldn’t have to ask for permission to make your own money.
Also, it’s not considered babysitting when it’s your own kids! He’s wild for that. I’d pay attention to the signs before it goes too far.
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It’s not babysitting if they’re his kids. It’s parenting. Secondly It’s extremely unfair for him to put that on you like this isn’t the 50’s women are allowed to work and he helped make those kids he can help take care of them end of story.
I feel so sorry for all the women that needs their husband permission to do stuff as WORK, you have the right to be upset, I will get a job still, and a babysitter and he will pay for that
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He is basically setting you up for absolute failure if he leaves you. It’s just a way to control and manipulate you so you have nothing without him.
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I’d be sure you get that on recording. Incase anything goes down between you to, you can tell the courts he wouldn’t let you work.
Why is he still ur husband? That’s all I want to know
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Wow! Time to get a new husband! First of all he should never tell you no…second…you don’t Babysit your own children… you Raise them. Personally I would not stay in that kind of situation.
He can say no because you asked. If you ask a question that gives someone permission to decide what answer benefits them the most. If you had started applying for jobs and went on interviews then that’d be different. I can’t imagine asking someone if I can improve my life and sanity.
Take the money from his second job, get child care and work anyway
The first problem was asking, get a sitter during the day and get a small job! That money he’s bringing in with the second job should cover the sitter🤷🏼♀️ your mental health should not be up for discussion, you need a little job or hobby to get out the house!
Stuck watching his kids? Shouldn’t be just his decision if you get a job. He sounds pretty controlling. It won’t get better.
I get running it by him, having a conversation. But I’ll be damned if a dude tells me what to do!
The fact that you felt the need to ask for permission and that you don’t know if you have the right to feel how you feel are major red flags. Seek professional help. ASAP.
What a way to say he doesn’t like his own children and doesn’t want to parent them.
This is very concerning and I’ll bet there’s other red flags that you don’t recognize as such. Make sure to save up and have a secret emergency account so you always have the option to leave if it comes to that
Start planning your exit! That’s straight up ABUSE! 
I’m ready to throw hands at this man child!
I guess you didn’t know who you married 
You have a control freak. Poor planning on your part is not a concern on anyone else! You know what you need to do.
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Leave. He’s trying to control you financially, mentally, and emotionally. By the way it’s not babysitting when he fathered those children it’s called being a parent. Why do we as women set the bar so low for men as parents? And why do we allow them to do this? You would be so much better off without him.
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I wouldn’t want anyone keeping my kids that didn’t want to
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Number 1 I’m sorry you are going through this. Number 2 you “asked if you could get a job as though he is your father” why are you asking permission? You could have asked his option but not his permission. Number 3 he is their father as well and he is NOT babysitting he is their father. Number 4 go get that job!! Even if it is part time a few days a week. Hire a sitter. He is dominating you and the finances. You need a mental break from the children. Stand your ground. If he doesn’t like it that is on him to work through it. You have to know and understand when enough is enough and I believe you are there sister.
I’d tell him I don’t wanna babysit him no more
It’s not babysitting when it’s his kids and you don’t get to be bossed around as if you’re a peasant go and get the job without asking permission tell him your schedule and put the kids in childcare not ok
That’s more than a red flag…. Idk how anyone can say they need a break from kids on either side.
I would find a sitter and get a job. Make your own income. Control is never a good thing.
It’s not babysitting if it’s your kids. Put them in daycare and get a job. He could go on out the door 
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My ex used this as a control tactic. I couldn’t leave if i had no money or means to support our 3 kids.
He told me “I’m not paying someone else to raise our kids; that’s your job.
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Get a job and when the time comes get up and no. He is the father. He is not stuck watching them or babysitting. Not how that works. They are HIS kids too. Not right at all. And I would be pissed as well.
I guess your first mistake was asking him. If you want to get a job get one. You don’t have to ask ANYONE.
It’s not babysitting when it comes to your own!
Then he shouldn’t have had them, I would leave a man that said that and go get myself that job. The fact you even asked, I would have just done it and he can deal or you can get a sitter and he can go do his own thing without being part of the family imo 
I say…stay home enjoy your little ones because they will not be for long and you’ll be glad you did. If he’s a good father in other areas then it’s no big deal
Well with that attitude he better hope in his aging years that his kids aren’t the A hole he is…
I need to know more before advising you.
Assuming you have small children not in school. Money is tight . And you are just needing a break. There is no abuse going on, just growing pains and you still love each other.
He sounds like a man willing to work hard to be a provider. You sound like a a lady who misses adult time and friends. Try finding a moms day out club or a moms group in your area. Or just a daytime babysitter where you can do for you . Maybe a mini vacation for the two of you .( A local motel, dinner , movie whatever 24 hours just you and him reconnecting.
He isn’t babysitting HIS kids. He is spending time with them.
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Wow I’m shocked at reading all these angry responses ….
I personally have a totally different take.
I believe no marriage is 50/50, if you expect that you set yourself up for failure. Where one person lacks, the other makes up for it.
NATURALLY, we - the mothers- are the primary everything for our kids. Our kids depend on us, and if we are not around, it’s dad or grandma or whomever stepping in. I get that it’s hard for you to be a stay at home mom and you need that break, I’m in the same position with two kids under two and a husband who works full time. Just the other day I went to get my nails done, third time in the last two years, and he couldn’t stop calling and texting … where am I, how long, he’s overwhelmed, kids are crying, looking for me, not sleeping, etc etc.
Well, my first instinct was to go shopping after nails. I was a little peeved with him- I mean, I can’t even enjoy a mani/pedi after being stuck in the house all day every day? But then, my heart truly went out for all of them…. I am the main puzzle piece. I am MAMA. Without me, they really can’t - or won’t - do it. If my husband is so overwhelmed with only two hours solo with them, and they are going crazy wanting me, well, call me insane but I’d rather be home with them too. This is a short time period, while they’re young… we’re all going to miss these exhausting days and sleepless nights.
If you just learn to look at your situation with different lenses, perhaps a different perspective can offer you what you’ve been missing.
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I always told my husband “once all the kids go to school I’m gonna get a job” and so the time came I got a job and my husband stepped back at his job so that he could help out. A year and a half later I quit and went back to being a stay at home mom. My husband told me one evening “I’m so glad your back home” when I asked why he never told me to stop working before he straight up told he was not going to hold me back if that’s what I wanted to do but it definitely made him see that’s there’s a lot to do even if all the kids are at school.
YOUR feelings are YOURS. You have a right to feel everything you feel. Period!!! And honestly, yes, it would be crazy if you weren’t mad about this.
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Maybe he does not want his wife to work. It is a man’s responsibility to provide for the family. Before you make any rash decisions sit down and talk to your husband. Then go from there. Explain your feelings and let him explain his.
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I’m feeling bad for the kids to have a dad that’s completely uninvolved and resistant to having anything to do with them. Not knowing how many there are and their ages, this is just sad.
I’d be getting a job and a babysitter. He doesn’t want to babysit his kids, now that’s funny!!!
Parenting is not babysitting. You can’t babysit your own kids. So he basically told you he doesn’t want to parent his own kids. He doesn’t deserve them. I could never be with someone who felt this way. I’d be packing mine and my kids’ crap so he didn’t have to worry about us anymore. Since he doesn’t wanna participate.
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I would ask a family member to watch the kids so I could get a job.Thatd be the day a man tells me no about a job.