You can’t baby sit your own children, it’s called raising them
It’s not babysitting it’s called parenting…
I’m married and decided to be a SAHM going on 7years now. Before we got married I was a working mamma everyday besides the weekends that was my kids time with me well now it’s getting to me and has been for YEARS. I’m regretting it the staying home part. I completely lost myself staying home all day every day getting out maybe twice a week. It ruined my credit I can’t even get a vehicle in my name, I have anxiety attacks whenever I go out by myself now, I even have them when I drive. It’s not worth it to stay home unless you have extra income coming in besides his.
Personally I would just go get a job if I was you
Tell him he will be spending time with his children, and get your job. End of discussion
DIVORCE HIM. This is clearly a toxic relationship.
It’s not babysitting if they are his kids. He should watch his kids for you to have your time…if it’s not to work then to make sure you getting time to yourself to stay healthy physically, spiritually and emotionally!!
1 Like
Tell him he won’t be “babysitting” his kids…it’s called parenting kids.
When they are your children it is called parenting not babysitting!!!
It’s not babysitting when they’re your own kids it’s called being a parent. He really needs to get over himself. 
If you got divorced would he fight for joint custody then? What is up with these guys not wanting to physically take care of their own kids?
-
He knows his children are safe with you. So instead of paying a babysitter he has u. But also knows there’s a potential that his kids may not be safe in someone else’s care . Someone can call off and render both of yalls jobs.
-
He may have to call out work in order for u to work if said so babysitter doesn’t show up.
-
He may just want u to stay home due to other reasons and only u would know that
.
I honestly have to work because my kids need my income. But I couldn’t imagine being a sahm or satf. It’s about sacrifice but he’s willing to work his boots off so there’s thay
Nope. I’d get a job anyways. That’s ridiculous he got another job just so you couldn’t. If they’re his kids, he can “be stuck with them”… what does he think you do all day?.. that is abuse.
Hire a babysitter a couple days a month with his new extra income and go out and have some you time… If he asks to join you, tell him NO
I don’t think I would trust him with the kids with that attitude. I would get a day job and pay a babysitter, you may not clear much money but at least you’re getting out of the house. I would also consider marriage counseling.
leave honestly not worth being with a controlling man. he should understand you need you time as well as he does. he sound disrespectful towards you and controlling telling you can’t work because he doesn’t wanna be home with the kids? wtf? it goes both ways not just one way it takes 2 to make babies
There is this thing happening…they’re calling it ‘The Great Divorce.’ Partly because women are divorcing their man-child husbands in droves, and partly because it’s SO GREAT to separate ourselves from the leaches that literally suck the life from us (ok, I made up that part, but it’s so true 
).
We do the mental labor of maintaining a household and everyone in it, the emotional labor of regulating everyone else’s emotions, and also being expected to be on call for physical domestic labor 24/7. This is, frankly, exhausting and there are statistics showing that married women do not live as long as single women and single men do not live as long as married men. They are literally sucking the life from us with their unwillingness to participate in their own family unit. This king baby is just one of many examples. I feel like he’s the type to smother all of your efforts at being an autonomous adult and taking care of yourself and then tell you that you’ve let yourself go or that you’re not interesting anymore. 
Girl…run.
I got bored staying home and got a job while the kids were in school. I then got a different one but I wasn’t always there when the kids got home from school. (The youngest was 12). When the youngest was grown I asked him about it. He said he wish I had been there when he got home. So in my case I would have stayed home if I knew how he felt. ……and then POOF…they are grown.
Your husband has no right to tell you that you can’t work. His excuse is pitiful. He won’t let you work because he doesn’t want to take care of his kids. I’m sure it’s also so you don’t have your own money, can’t leave him & he has more control. Contact a DA agency & ask them for help in getting a divorce. What he’s doing is abuse!
Well I mean they are his kids and if that’s how he feels this is awesome, start charging him a Nanny fee! Start adding it up you cook, clean, “babysit “ lol, and that’s just for the kids. Add his in and give him a bill at the end of the week and you will have a pay check!
If he’s that big of a jerk that doesn’t want to be around his own kids I would be afraid to leave them alone with him.
Sounds like financial abuse to me. Also, if he is their parent, he can *ucking parent. Allow me to demonstrate where he belongs.
It’s not babysitting when it’s your kids
So it’s not babysitting it’s being a father… which he rather not do. Yeah nope, you need a break too momma
It’s not babysitting when they’re your own kids. And if you don’t want to be involved in raising them, then you should either make sure your partner knows that before having them…or maybe don’t have them.
Mine was trying to block my ass from going back to collage for this month so I could go into my dream job, even put himself towards a pointless course just to be spiteful 
(unknown to him I was requiring for next year 
so he’s stuck at this pointless course while I have the house to myself, can clean up and do as I want an do the school run without being harrassed and told to stay upstairs all the time! maybe even go wild and adventure out the house without being stressed out 
It’s a way of controlling and you dont babysit YOUR kids. Get out and get a job, moms need a break too.
Bye little boy I would be gone & get a dam job
Then he shouldn’t have had kids 
tell him sucks to suck, your getting a job, he needs to learn how to watch his children. I will never understand allowing husbands to think they can tell you what you can and can’t do.
Hey, he got another job??? Awesome 
that should bring in enough extra money to pay for day care so you CAN afford to work 
If you want a job, get one. If he won’t HELP a with his own children THEN he can HELP finance an actual “babysitter” also you are NOT another one of his kids, you shouldn’t ask him can you get a job. He isn’t your guardian. The dynamics need to change. I don’t mean where you are overpowering and the controlling one, I mean where y’all are both respected and partners. Instead of “can I” it should be, soooo Im getting a job, I need your help around the house and with the kids or we can pay someone… from the sounds of it, I say you need a job a lot more than you even want a job…
First off it’s not babysitting his kids it’s him being a dad and I’d tell himto quit his second job and go get one yourself
You can’t “babysit” your own kids. And get a job if you want want.
Umm, they’re his kids right? That’s not babysitting, that’s being a parent. Get a babysitter and a job because I doubt he will be around in a few years and you need some financial stability so you can take care of yourself and your kids. Don’t let him take your independence.
I would be mad he’s being a controlling jerk .
First of all why do you need your husbands permission to get a job . And they are his kids to so he shouldn’t have a problem staying with them.Stop letting this man control your life .
Omg, he isn’t babysitting, it is called parenting
FIRST OFF!! Its not called babysitting when you’re watching your own kids… he’s got stuff backwards.
Go get a job anyway don’t let no man tell you what you can and cannot do, I’d be so gone
Have a sit down, have a in depth conversation about how you feel. Communicate with him that you either get a part time job or you have planned ahead time to leave and have some you time, it isn’t healthy to be with your kids 24/7 with no break and no social life, it causes depression and resentment.
Try to utilize things like childcare a lot of two parent households use that while they both work or leave him and still get child care to work simple what right does he have to make those kids if he didn’t want to watch them
There’s no such thing as babysitting YOUR CHILDREN
First of all I would never ask no damn man what I can do and what I can’t do. Second of all if he doesn’t want to be around the children that he made, then he can just get out all together. I’ve never understood people having to ask permission to do something simple like work
His way of controlling you.
He don’t want you to make your own money and he doesn’t want to watch his own children 
leave his ass
so get a day time job and he’ll have to pay for day care he can’t watch his own kids? it’s not baby sitting. they are his kids. i’d leave, and leave the damn kids with him for a few hours. see how that goes, if he freaks out then i’d think about splitting up. you already a single mom sis, go be single.
Sounds like you had kids with the wrong person 
does he even like his kids?
If he only provides financial assistance maybe child support would be more suiting for him 
2 Likes
First off…its not “babysitting” its parenting, went through that. I kept extra kids for $$ at the house, try that
Girl I would go get a job that ends after his second job. He’s gonna be one tired dad after 2 shifts and watching the kids
Years ago I’d be like ok dear. Now I’d be like F@#k you and GTFO!!!
Yeah my boyfriend also told me I couldn’t get a job either, which then left me going to a DV advocate and starting over with two kids & nothing on our backs when I decided the abuse was enough and my kids had seen enough.
That’s financial abuse.
Get a job, and leave him.
My ex husband always told me if I ever went to school or work I’d never have a family again w him I’m so happy we are not together anymore after his 10 years of emotional physical mental and financial abuse
Why did you have to ask to get a job ? Your husband sounds lazy. Good luck.
Erm. Run away. Far, Far away
First of all …why you asking? Second…if he don’t want to watch the kids make arrangements with friends/family or put them in a part time day program…then go get you the job of your dreams. I went emotional, physical, and financial abuse. Life is so much better without his sorry ass.
Get a job. Put money aside for the inevitable.
Well for one it’s not called ba sitting when you take care of your own children. And if I wanted s job I would get one . He is keeping you on lock.down it sounds like you better run while u can
He needs to step up and be a husband and a father, which he seems to be failing at both, just in that post I read. I would go get the job, let him figure it out. It’s not your responsibility to “babysit” his children! Grrrrr, this shit makes me so mad.
Why did you even ask ? Get a job 
I can understand.Men are not equipped in their brains to handle kids for very long like we are. Maybe 10 % of men can the rest,forget it. Can u get a job the same time he has his in the morning and put kids in daycare and him pay half?At the same time does he give u money at all for anything? He should plus some spending money if not then that’s not cool.I would just enjoy the time u have with the kids before their grown and gone. I’ve been a stay at home mom since 2007 but I did work for a couple years in 2013 til like 2016 but still its great to be home and take care of the house but at the same time its good to have money which he should be giving u to spend or save to leave him one.
If I was you I’d be leaving him. If my man told me I couldn’t help out financially then he’d be coming home to a empty house with just his stuff. Nothing of my kids stuff there or my stuff there. There would be a note saying “here’s your house alone, have a nice life, enjoy the house by yourself!” I would take a picture of it so if he tried saying I said something in the note I have proof I didn’t do nothing wrong in the note.
Wow, why does he think it’s baby sitting? Aren’t they his kids
Cool!
Then his ass can pay child support. 
Lmao it’s funny how y’all post my SO won’t let me do blah blah blah…bro wtf
He’s your husband not your dad. Pretty sure he doesn’t get to dictate what you do. Oh, and it’s called being a dad, not babysitting his kids.
Ummmm… he is their father it isn’t called babysitting its called parenting ffs. I HATED when people would ask me if the kiddos dad “BABYSAT” while I worked. Nope he’s doing his part in this thing we call parenthood. Don’t ask… just do it. Find someone else to watch ur kiddos a couple hours a week if you can afford it and get that job girl. We all know what it’s like loosing ourselves while raising babies!!
It’s not babysitting your children it is called taking care of your children.
You should probably get a job good enough to support you and the kids without him and leave his ass
Is work from home job a possibility?? Tell the bloke to bugger off into the dog box and keep keeping on with U and ya kids bub. He’s an arse
Babysit his kids? Hell no. It’s called parenting. And you deserve to work just ad much as he does. Some men are just disgusting. Nothing like being controlling. It’s not just our jobs as mothers to take care of the kids. It takes 2 to make them. Should be equal to who takes care of them. I would be getting a job and a babysitter. You deserve better.
What the actual fuck? He actually got himself a second job so you wouldn’t work? I mean ot would be great if you needed it just for the income but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
First of all the husband needs to learn,when they are your kids……It is not babysitting
It called taking care of the kids
Second this sounds more like a control move. If the relationship goes south you have no financial support to help you get out. I would tell him to suck rocks
You’re husband is a PoS and you’re being financially controlled.
You need to start secretly putting money away, I’d suggest a high yield savings account like Synchrony bank (not the credit card, the savings account) and turn off paper statements. Because I’m gonna assume you don’t have a separate account that is just yours. This puts you in a very sticky situation where you don’t feel like you have a choice and he has all the control and say.
Do you want to be a single married mother? Or would you rather get out of this relationship, heal, and actually find an equal partnership?
In the meantime, if you don’t have any family or friends that can help you get a break, try to make friends with the neighbors or parents at kids school and you can set up play dates and get some adult interaction and maybe an occasional babysitter.
Your “husband” is a absent father and a shit partner.
Start making a plan, keep the peace as hard as that can be but start moving those pieces to get the hell out of that controlling relationship, I promise it won’t get better it’ll only get worse.
If these are his kids, it’s not called babysitting, it’s called parenting!!
1- you get a job if you want
2- you don’t ask for permission
3- their his kids aswell
4- leave that asshole.
I’m sorry I hate when me. Say I have to babysit my kids… wtf. You made them it’s your responsibility to help raise them. If you think spending time with your kids is babysitting then pay the momma for raising them 42/7. Grow up boys.
It’s not babysitting when it’s your kids fuck that asshole narcissist control freak I said what I said