About once a week (sometimes less) I hire a babysitter to come over and entertain my toddler so I can focus on organizing or cleaning up. The house stays fairly clean but sometimes I need to do more than pick up, which is why I hire someone because it’s hard complete a full few hour long task with a wild toddler Anyway so my husband told me next time I hire someone I should go spend time alone instead. Like go for a massage, mani pedi, shopping, all of the above, etc.I feel a little silly doing that because cleaning and organizing really brings me peace for days on end where as if I “waste” time doing those things outside of the house I feel like I’ll just be stressed coming home and not having that dedicated time since I don’t have help with the toddler (My husband does do a great job but usually by the time he’s home/she’s in bed I’m just too exhausted to start a whole ass task like organizing a pantry or rearranging a closet lol)I have someone coming to keep her Tuesday. What would y’all do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband told me to hire a sitter and go out...what should I do?
Hire a sitter for an extra 2 hours on the days you do that cleaning and organizing. Do all your cleaning stuff then go spoil yourself for an hour or two before going back into mommy mode!
Just go out. Even if it’s only one time for an hour or two. We all deserve a break even if we think we don’t need one.
Whatever YOUR heart desires!! Sound you a little OCD about your home, maybe why hubby thinks you need ME TIME!! NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT EITHER!! SO DON’T FEEL GUILTY!! I’M SURE YOU DESERVE IT!!
Go on a walk, go out to eat with a friend, get your favorite take out and sit alone in your car or at a park and eat in peace, go to a store to just browse.
Girl be grateful you got a husband like that seriously! There’s so many women who would love to be in your shoes. He’s trying to tell you he doesn’t see anything wrong with how the house looks and wants you to take care of yourself and to pamper yourself.
In my opinion is a great idea, just have an extra day and spend sometime to yourself, go to a salon to get your nails or hair done , go shopping with a friend or get lunch to catch up .etc
Do it once a month at least just to help you feel refreshed when you need it.
Hire the sitter, get a couples massage! Set a date with him.
Maybe one week out of the month go pamper yourself and the other weeks do your cleaning.
Go out n have a girls day out…the closet will still be there tomarrow…lol…enjoy
Enjoy yourself
Nice hubby
That’s unheard of. Take the suggestion…go for a drive alone even.
Do what makes you and your life easier. If you know that doing your usual helps than keep to it. Some people don’t like doing stuff and that’s ok. If however, it’s more of a guilt thing (we all know that too well) then maybe use it as a finding yourself outside of your norm. Obviously your husband thinks you deserve you time not involving the home so maybe you need to learn that you deserve it too. We can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do because at the end of the day it’s your choice and your mind, body, and soul. Find peace however that looks to you. Also if you do choose to stay home make sure to express to your husband why and that you appreciate his offer.
The house isn’t going to fall apart over not cleaning out a closet for a extra week lol. Take that time. You will enjoy it and look forward to it after actually having it regularly. Maybe one week Pedi, next deep clean, ect…
My husband and I do this too. It’s a blessing to have hubby like this.
Take some alone time or couple time. Sitters are a good idea
I would hire a sitter and go out.
Take advantage of it 
go enjoy yourself
Hubby is onto something - go and enjoy yourself. Life is short, get a massage.
Maybe once a month instead of the sitter get a cleaner for a few hours so you feel like you’re more on top of it and can enjoy some downtime when the sitter does arrive. 
Your husband is looking out for you you schould hire a sitter and you both go out
Self care is not time wasted. You are so blessed to have the opportunity to do this. Take it!
I am the same way! When i finally do get a break or get to go out and do something i stress about needing to do stuff around the house, or laundry. Or anything else i know needs done.
It’s called self-care once you start doing it more often you will enjoy it
If it bothers you that much alternate doing stuff outside of the house and inside the house. Honestly you can drive yourself crazy with the whole organization and cleaning thing- the chores will still be there tomorrow. Cut yourself some slack. We always think we have to do everything and do it perfectly but we don’t. Our kids won’t remember how clean our house was, only the quality of time we spent with them.
Once in a while I would treat me😊
Hire a Cleaning Lady ???
Sounds like he sees that you need some self care that maybe you don’t realize is needed. Take his advice, or take a nap. Do something for yourself
Hire a sitter and go out
Your husband should “babysit” and you should use that additional money saved on treating yourself.
I feel this so much but I would just maybe go out and get pampered like once a month and the rest of the times clean and organize so you can set up a plan so you won’t be stressed coming back home and enjoying your night stress free and do a couple things a day during nap time up till the day you’re going out and you won’t be as stressed to use the day for yourself all mommas need it:purple_heart:
Do what you feel you need. Maybe there is a way you can do both?
You need to take time for yourself. Go get a pedi, massage, mani…whatever.
Hire the babysitter to come a bit earlier, clean then go out!
I’d go out but that’s just me. If you would rather stay and clean, like that’s what you enjoy then do that. Your husband probably thinks a break would be nice for you. Do what you want or maybe hire the sitter for a little longer or for an extra day.
Nails. Coffee. Lunch with a friend. Once every two weeks I go get my nails done and go get coffee afterwards.
My husband would tell me the same if we could afford that and if we had kids.
Also, you’re lucky because most husbands and partners don’t support their wives in this way. So, we’re both lucky to have husbands who would tell us to take time to our selves every once and awhile.
Hire her AGAIN, Wed
…
Go out! Taking care of your mental health isn’t " waisting time." Your house will be fine. I hsve found taking time for me makes .e a better wofe and mother. Maybe go out once or twice a mpnth.
Trust me. Let that all go. Enjoy the time you have now for one day cleaning and organizing will be all you have left to do. Go enjoy yourself take some me time.
I would do what brings you peace. In your case, it sounds like it is feeling organized at home which is ok. I get that.
Marry him AGAIN!! Lol. My husband is the same way. Except I don’t have a sitter 
(ok. Mine is failing) take the time. Trust him. He knows you before the baby and after. He knows you need it.
Or pay a few dollars more and ask the sitter to do a little bit of the cleaning that you would be doing while you are out so you can not stress to much that it’s not getting done!!!
Dude. I used to have my son go to the sitter so I could take a nap. It’s not silly to take a break.
Maybe you could do this once a month perhaps?
Dedicate one day a month where it’s purely for you to do things outside of the house
We need a break otherwise we’ll wear ourselves out!!
Totally get it if my house is a mess im irritated. You need to do other thibgs for yourself too though! My husband makes me go out and get my nails done or give me a shopping spree to get away and chill etc Maybe hire a cleaning lady as well that way you can come home to a clean home and happy toddler 
Go shopping for new organizing stuff, like totes or shelves or baskets, a nice dry erase board, stuff that would help you enjoy doing what you do. Grab a lunch while you’re out…
Just do what you gotta do…
I get that the cleaning and what not brings you peace, but you still need YOU time! I only WISH I could have me time. I’m a stay at home mom and literally with my kid 24/7. I never go out, we never go out. yes we do occasional food shopping without our almost 3 year old, and literally just went out for lunch by ourselves over the weekend for the 1st time in like forever. if I could just go one day for a nice massage and a pedicure I’d be all for it!
Oh go out enjoy personally I’d go for a needed massage. That’s so relaxing. Or find a friend go to lunch go shopping. Idk go take him up on it.
get the massage. It will really reawaken you to new possibilities.
Uh I’d go and just have the sitter there a tad longer than normal. Or do these things once he’s home so then my day out I don’t have to worry about it.
Every two or 3 weeks see if she’ll come 2x a week so you can treat yourself and or your hubby! 
The pantry does not HAVE to be organized, lol
Go pamper urself , u know u deserve it
Explain to him everything that you just explained to us, about how if you take that night with the sitter and go for a relaxing evening, that when you return home, you wouldn’t be able to relax because of the house. Ask how he would feel if you hired a sitter twice this week… once so that you can do your cleaning and once so you can truly go have a relaxing evening.
If I had someone tell me to freely go spend a day to myself, you better believe I’d take it!!!
take your husbands advice a lot of women would be dying to be on your shoes right now.
OCD is a b*tch…girl… go have a drink and chill out. Hire a cleaning lady…she’ll won’t do it right for a bit, but, together you’ll work through it.
Do both. Think of it this way, it’s possible your husband is stressing because he feels you deserve some pampering. Please, appreciate that he is expressing gratitude by suggesting you treat yourself.
Girl keep that man!!! He’s platinum baby. It’s so nice to have a husband that is supportive of taking care of you like this. I would be out the door telling sitter to call or text if she needs anything.
He’s right! Go find something to get lost in… the library, a pottery studio… something that interests you. Don’t loose who YOU are.
I’d go shopping for house stuff to make things easier for you like storage decor etc I always feel less stressed in a tidy/organized home
Omg go out!!! Dontou know how many of us would love to have this option?! Take rime for you and make a day if it.
Do what makes you happy.
You said organizing brings you peace.
I’d rather garden than go out n spoil myself. I get you.
I’d rather deep clean the house. More satisfying for me also.
Cudos to Hubby for his thoughts. Your time your wants.
I’d ask the sitter if they’d be willing to come an extra day. That way one day can be about organizing/cleaning and the next day can be for you to relax
Be thankful that he sees the hard way you work taking care of your family. Go get a massage. Have a drink with friends you don’t see often. Let me tell you… That’s a good man. He’s appreciating your efforts. You obviously deserve time to yourself. Go do it. However you want to
You do what is best for you.
Hire babysitter twice a week.
Best thing you can do for her and yourself is get her to doctors and therapists. Don’t let anyone downplay her issues. Believe her and advocate for her until you find someone willing to help her through it.
You sound like me 
sending lots of love. I guess go do what he says? I wouldn’t know where to start either 
Someone take care of this creep
Go out. Be thankful your husband’s like that. Half of them don’t appreciate the work a housewife does enough to flat out encourage time off for themselves. The cleaning will not go anywhere. You can do it the next day
It’s silly to hire someone to watch child while u clean the house
Do both if you can afford it. But never ever make yourself or let anyone else make you feel bad for having someone come sit with your child so you can have some alone time. I used to beat myself up SO BAD for wanting a little time to myself. We have three children ranging from 18 months to 9 years old and while it’s normal for me to be with all three, he hasnt as much so instead of making him uncomfortable and forcing it on him, once a month I have our date night babysitter come during school hours to stay for about three-four hours with our toddler so I can have some “me time”. 99% of the time I just end up going to get a solo meal (I don’t have to share!) at my favorite fast food joint and sitting in our library parking lot to play on my phone in peace, maybe take a nap, or read. Whatever. Point is, I end up being in so much of a better headspace. Much better mom and partner. Do what you feel you need to, and don’t feel bad for it.
Seek therapy for anxiety .
Go Out! Do it! You can leave a list of things the babysitter might be able to do, if baby is asleep. You are paying so, go for it, (perhaps not like the oven but empty dishwasher, put on a load of washing, vac this area. Anyone BABYsitting gets a false sense of what it is like to have a child or more. I am not saying work them to the bone, little things. .Bath them. It shouldn’t be. I got $20 an hour to do nought except for if they wake
Do what you feel would be best for u. If u don’t need alone time then do what u normally do since it’s peaceful to u.
I would keep the sitter, use the massage/mani/pedi/ treat myself money to hire maid for the day, give the maid a must do list and take myself to the beach with a book! And when I got home I’d show my man how much I appreciate him…
He sounds like a keeper!
Do both? Do what you need to around the house while the sitter is there. Shower and then go treat yourself. Only you know how long it usually takes for you to get your cleaning done. So alot time for the cleaning and then a couple more hours to go treat yourself. Make sure babysitter is aware of the plan as well that way she or he can distract your child so you can leave the house without them noticing so there’s no meltdown.
Do what makes you happy. I like to sit on the couch, by myself, watching TV and scrolling FB or Tiktok so that’s what I do with free time. If having that time to clean and organize makes you happy then keep doing that. If there is a time you want to go out then do that. I think your husband is fine with whatever you choose to do with that time and that us the message he is trying to convey. I think he appreciates everything you do and wants you to know it’s ok to think of yourself every now and then.
Hire a cleaner, husband watches kid, you go out.
How about you hire a cleaner to clean up then you can sit and play with baby!
I would organize something then go for a pedicure. Nails seem pointless to me because they won’t stay done. Mine would chip and look awful in a day.
You can strike a balance. If your schedule works keep it. But nothing wrong with maybe once a month using the sitter time for the purpose your husband suggests. You are important too. Finding a little time for you is important.
You sound JUST like me! We have a similar problem I think…combination of guilt and keeping unreasonable expectations of ourselves. I’m slowly but surely learning to take care of myself so I can continue to care for everything and everyone else. Take the day and do something for yourself ESPECIALLY if your husband is telling you to! If he thinks you need that, he’s probably right, and how beautiful to have your husband wanting you to care for yourself!
Do what makes you happy.
I also find peace in cleaning, organizing, moving furniture, completing a task etc.
If that’s what brings you joy, then do that.
However, maybe take some time to reflect on why you become focused on tasks like that and not take time to do the “unnecessary but 'fun stuff”. Maybe try and learn how to balance both.
Take time for yourself. The housework is never ending and it’s nice to treat yourself like you are a person, not just a mom, atleast every once in awhile.
Good for him! I think it is great that your hubby is thinking of you and that you need time that is not solely dedicated to household stuff. But if going out will make you feel guilty then it’s not the peace you need. If it would only make you feel guilty because it’s out of your comfort zone, then try it, just once and see. It might be great and you do it once every couple of months but do your typical cleaning on your normal babysitter days. Mamma you need you time! Do whatever it is that brings you the peace you need!
I would get a pedi since I can’t reach my toes (broken ribs).
Your husband’s trying to do something nice so I wouldn’t just blow it off. Find something close by like maybe get a simple mani and eyebrows waxed and then go back to clean. Close by with an appointment you should be in and out really. You appreciated his gesture and you still got some cleaning time
Hire a cleaning lady instead
Take it! That’s amazing that he wants you to do that!
Hire someome to clean and get a babysitter…then go out!
Get the sitter and you and your husband go out on a date.
I feel this! usually when I get a sitter I use the time to do deep cleaning and stuff like that but I also 100% agree that sometimes you need to take a day to just enjoy yourself!
he sounds like an alright guy!!!
Hire and sitter and go out!!! You need alone time! Go get a massage!