I told my husband I was going to get a cleaning lady for our house to help with laundry, dishes, sweep & mop once a week. He is adamant he doesnt want a stranger in our house. He wants privacy and he thinks they’re going to steal something. I clean up after him and our one child everyday, and we both work full time. He told me he would deep clean once a week if I paid him instead, problem is he would mostly would be cleaning up after HIMSELF, and I dont want to pay him to clean after himself & tell me “Oh I’ll do it tomorrow” which is code for "its not getting done."What would you do? I’m seriously considering just getting one in secret and have them clean one day a week while he is at work.
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Well considering you both live in the house and both dirty up the house,it’s both of you’ll place to clean it.i would pick one day a week and the both of you tag team the house and knock it out in half the time.
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Get rid of him and get a cleaner to move in 
sorry couldn’t resist x
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Throw that one out and get a new one
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That is unbelievable. It seems as if he has lost touch with reality!
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Like you said…while he’s at work .
Have him write a check for himself to deep clean the house to your standards.
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If he doesn’t want someone to come in to clean up after his man/child mentality… he better start cleaning up after himself!! Then it’s a win win.
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Sorry buddy, I am getting a cleaner and you’re paying for it…no argument…is what I’d say…
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The cleaning will not be done. Maybe once or twice. He wouldn’t get paid. However it will just make everything worse, the nagging and arguing and you will end up helping or doing it yourself. I don’t know if I would go along for a couple of weeks to prove my point or just hire the cleaner. No I would go along for a couple of weeks and then it’s settled and you won’t have to hear him complain about the cleaner lol.
Definitely get someone in and don’t tell him,
I’m a cleaner maybe a way round it is your home while a cleaner is there? Mist cleaners that are reccomended or with loads of reviews can be trustworthy. I treat a clients home with nothing less than the respect it deserves
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Hang on a mo…he wants you to pay him for cleaning up his own mess which you don’t want him doing but if he lived alone and had a flat or something wouldn’t he be doing that anyway? How about if he gave you a helping hand the work load would be halfed…stop mothering him and boot him up the backside for a extra pair of hands
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That has got to be one of the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard
I would get a couple nanny cams and give the maid a 2 week trial. He can monitor the cameras and if she is sketch then he can take over for 2 weeks and see how it goes
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Lol just do it, it will never get done if not .
Have them come when you are home. Get referrals from your friends
I kinda feel the same way, I don’t feel comfortable with someone being in my house when nobody is there. So I’m going to hire a cleaning person to come in when I’m there. I’ll be in my office, and won’t bother the cleaners- just until I get comfortable with the idea. Also, tried the husband doing the cleaning- nope not worth the fight! 
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I’d just tell him I’m getting a cleaner if you don’t like it then start cleaning up after yourself, he lives there just as much as you you should not be Paying him to clean his own house
I wouldn’t lie to him about it. I’d have a deeper discussion about it. It’s kind of ridiculous he wants you to pay him to clean his own house/mess. Do you know anyone who cleans? Maybe you could find someone he will trust to come in and do it. Or schedule the cleaning when either you or him is home if that makes him more comfortable.
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Just hire someone if you feel like you want too. It’s your money 
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Sure pay him once a week to deep clean but make sure you also receive payments for the normal and unpaid labour that you put into the house as well.
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Tell him you’ll pay him to do it then ask him to pay the cleaning service people once he’s done.
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You shouldn’t have to pay him to clean the house that he LIVES in aswell. He should just do it!
Your husband needs to grow up that’s what I can tell you. Dear you are not his mother or his maid but his equal partner… He should be taking care of you just as much as you are taking care of him with no expectations…
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Get that cleaner if he was going to help he would’ve sad he thinks he deserves payment
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Make sure they are licensed and insured:)
along with references for peace of mind. Keep valuables locked in your room when they come.
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I’m sorry what? Pay him to clean his own home?? Is he for real 
that’s actually hilarious that he’s even said that
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Tell him to pick up after himself. Or make a system where the both of you split chores.
Does he pay you to clean the house when you have been? Maybe sweep him and his ridiculous demands out the door 
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How offensive and disrespectful of him.
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Slack off on the cleaning and show him what all you do. Especially HIS stuff. Then when he complains tel him THIS is why!
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Def get someone in.even of its a trusted friend. Someone struggling that could do with some extra money.
Tell him you’re not his mom and you’re not going to pay him an allowance to clean up after himself
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Tell him straight that it’s his mess that’s the reason you need a cleaning person and that if he can clean for money why can’t he actually clean after himself normally
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That’s ridiculous, to be honest. Tell him he can pay for it, and you hire who you feel safe having in your home, while you’re there to supervise. No way would I pay my spouse to clean up after himself! He must think you’re stupid, & I mean no offense.
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Tell him to deep clean the house once a week for no other reason but to do his part. He lives there, he makes it dirty, it is not YOUR responsibility alone to keep it clean… and if he can clean for money then he has the time and energy to clean.
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What?! Throw the whole man away 
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Get a cleaning man. See how he likes that 
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Maybe pay a older niece or nephew if you have one if not maybe a friends has a teen who would like to make a few bucks
You need to communicate. Tell him it’s ridiculous you should not have to pay him to clean. You should both just split the responsibilities.
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Hire a friend or family and keep your bedroom off limits. You get the help that’s need throughout the rest of the house and he still gets some level of privacy and trust. If he’s against this idea, then tell him you want to be paid for cleaning. Why should he expect you to pay him when he isn’t paying you???
Tell him to start cleaning up after himself or HE can start paying you child support and alimony
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If the only way he is willing to pick up after him is if you pay him then there’s some serious issues there. Tell him he either does it because he’s not a child earning pocket money, or you will hire a cleaner. Or hr can simply pay you 
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Hand him an invoice for all of the times you picked up after him and cleaned the house. Tell him he can feel free to pay you back through his own cleaning services.
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I retired at 53 yrs of age. I worked for three USPS for 25 yrs…I started a housekeeping business with just ppl I knew, then trough word of mouth they recommended me to their friends, before I knew it I was working full-time, no weekends, and ppl trusted me with a key to their homes. I did that until I was 62 yrs of age then illness struck and I had to quit. I’m still friends with alot of my customers. But I couldn’t recommend anyone because I didn’t work with anyone to know that would do as good a job as I did. Some ppl I did the laundry, or put a roast in the crockpot for them or baked a cake. Ask ppl you work with who they use and would they recommend them. Do your research on whomever you decide to hire. First few times be there when they are there.
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If he is worried about theft and privacy then have the cleaning lady there while you are home. I think its HILARIOUS that he said for you to pay HIM to clean when it’s his house too. Like WUT. 
That’s like paying him to shower when it’s clearly something that has to be done. If he is capable of doing a deep clean now he was always able to pick up and clean after himself. Idk what kind of flag that raises but raises one for me.
If you know someone who cleans houses maybe that’s a compromise or being home when the cleaner is there. I wouldnt lie to him though.l, that will make the situation worse. Have another conversation about it.
I think most of the women here have felt that frustration of their partner not cleaning up after themselves or similar
If he helped out in the first place you wouldn’t need to be thinking of hiring a cleaner dies he not get that🤦♀️
Oh I’m so glad I’m single
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The stuff i read i here ! Lmao
I mean… I don’t get paid to clean my house… single mom… toss that whole husband out and get a new one.
get him to do it and take the money from his account…
xx
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If he isn’t contributing to the chores - stop cleaning up after him. Don’t do his laundry … the dishes he uses - and tell him if he wants that sorted he can pay you to do it…. Then hire a cleaner
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I would stop cleaning until he paid me to clean at that point😂
just put the money y’all saved into a vacation account.
Pay your husband to do chores in his house too? What is he, 12?
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If he can get paid to do it he can do it solely on the basis he’s AN ADULT wtf
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That is incredibly horrible of him to suggest you should pay him instead of him just offer to help you. Point out to him he does not pay you to do it but you do it And work And probably cook and shop this is why men are looked down in in the home. They do the bare minimum and then suggest they deserve paid to help clean up after themselves.
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The heck !! You do not have to pay him a dime to clean his own mess and the house he also lives in.
Give him to options
1: he can clean for free if he doesn’t want you to hire someone
2: he can buy inside cameras to your house so he can be more comfortable with someone helping you out , and you hire someone to help .
You should respect how he feels about outside help, maybe split the chores and no one gets paid?
Tell him either help clean up or go live with his mother seeing as he wants to be such a baby
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I would put that money in an account in my name in a bank that he does not bank at and pay your self. Then one day you could retire.
No he doesn’t get paid for taking care of his family home. He should be an active participant in all parts of taking care of it. It shouldn’t be on one person to take care of the family home.
I d ask him to pay you to do that and see how he feels about it. How ridiculous if you both work he ask you to pay him? He should do half and half, maybe you need to write schedules like for kids and have them 
when job is done so you can split it properly and maybe after doing all he will be ok with cleaner
It doesn’t make sense, because wouldn’t that be kinda like just paying yourself? Lol. Unless it’s money he spends on just him, but that’s ridiculous, especially when you wouldn’t likely be considering a cleaner if he helped in the first place
He’s being a smart a$$, my husband says this when I don’t clean the house up the way HE likes it or when I have my lazy days… I feel some type of way tho because I clean EVERY single day and it never stays clean, EVER… I have kids lol… even when he cleans he knows damn well it doesn’t stay clean… I would like a break tho but “hey babe we should hire someone to deep clean the house.” He NEVER touched the bathroom lol GODFORBID
I have no words… sorry honey, I’m not paying you to clean up after yourself.
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He needs to grow a pair. Nervy asshole
Hold on, he wants you to pay him to clean? How about, no. And stop picking up after him. He’s a grown ass man he can pick up after himself. 
My ex used to throw his clothes and socks everywhere . I always threatened to stop picking up his stuff when time to go to the laundromat . I never followed thru with that threat but I wish I had .
My grandson lives with me now and he throws his stuff wherever . I don’t pick his up. I’m done picking up after grown men . If he doesn’t take his stuff to the laundry it doesn’t get washed .
And he’s always asking where are his clean socks . I have to point out to him he has dirty socks on the floor .
I mean if he wants to be paid for chores like a child… treat him accordingly… and PAY him with money from his own damn account 
What is this nonsense? You are married, do you not share money? I’m seriously confused. I’m also baffled that you would go behind his back. How is that healthy? So many questions…
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Definitely go with the secret option. Why should you pay him for his momma not raising him right? Do take precautions though like research person coming, hide any valuables and toothbrushes
Maybe suggest to him kmart sells cameras for cheap, just put a few up and only have them active when the cleaners there (if your worried about them being active all the time)
Hire someone . He’s stupid.
He may be right, people do steal. I’ve had it happen to me that’s
why I don’t like anyone in my house.
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If my hubby told me to pay him for cleaning the only thing ide be paying for is a divorce!! What a lazy prick !! Ide be making him pay for a cleaner if he is the one refusing to clean!
Go to a reputable agency with insurance and who do DB checks before employing someone.
As long as u get paid for cooking and washing his jocks
Just stop cleaning. Or get a divorce and pay for a cleaner at your own house but then you probably wouldn’t need to hire one in the first place because he wouldn’t be there to create the mess. What a gross 
yuck I’d also start to reflect on other awful things he does and thinks. Women need to raise their standards.
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This fool wants to get paid for being an adult and doing necessary chores for subsidence. Make it make sense. 
The fact you even had to make this post shows that this is not his first bullshit tactic, you will have to center your answer around him. Be fucking for real!!! Drop his ass!
I cleaned houses during the pandemic, but it was people I knew. They were ever so thankful, because one was remodeling and the house was a collecting drywall dust. It helps people catch up so they can get back to the routine of light house cleaning. Don’t feel guilt about it and neither should he. It gave me satisfaction to see a deep cleaned house along with my clients.
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You gotta do what’s good for you.
Oh, no way. You aren’t paying him to clean in HIS house that HE lives in. This is a joint effort. You owe him nothing! In our house, I do most of the cleaning. My husband contributes by doing many other things, but cleaning isn’t his thing (and if he does clean, he definitely wouldn’t do it up to “my standards” lol…) but, there are times I ask him to load the dishwashers, mop or vacuum. He actually just gave me a number of a cleaning lady but I haven’t had the chance to call. I definitely need the cleaning help. So, no- do not pay your husband to clean the house. It’s like paying him to watch his child when you go out. No way. If he doesn’t want someone in the house while you guys aren’t there, I would hire a cleaning crew. You can usually get them on Groupon. They come in with a few people and they are done in like 2 hours. That way, you can book them when he or you are home. Good luck! I know keeping a house is a full time job and nearly impossible when you actually work a full time job. You definitely deserve the help.
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I like your idea… just do it when his at work…
Go on strike. It’s hard I’ve done it. Let it all go. Do the bare minimum. When they see just how much we do that is taken for granted they’ll help. My husband did. Not that he wasn’t appreciative or willing to help. You’re a team. Sometimes they just have to see just how much we fi and we make it look effortless;) good luck in whatever you decide that is best for your situation.
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I would do what is necessary for me and the child let him fend for himself and start appreciating what he has and learn that he needs to help out because it’s his home his child too!!! Maybe you should create a list and find out how much it costs to have somebody do the laundry to clean a bathroom etc and he can start paying you.
You’d be surprised how many wives do just that and husbands don’t know 
I would at least give him a chance, he just might surprise you!
Don’t pay him a dime!!! That’s ridiculous!
Lol, nope… get out than… can go live with his mom, he can be paid to do chores… lol
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Throw the whole man out sis
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I would say okay I’ll pay you
Than not clean anything at all ever
When it’s his hired day to clean I would let him clean and either take the money from joint acct or tell the cleaner that you husband will pay him since your husband doesn’t like to help around the house as an equal partner (hope that makes sense)
I’d find a teenager to entertain my child while my husband and I cleaned the house together.bonus points if you can find one trust worthy enough to leave alone with the kid so you can reward yourselves with dinner after.
I have girl who does great
As a maid, I feel extremely offended…
Just hire a cleaner you work earn your own money you are an Adult your choice if you work as well as do housework and he doesn’t . You shouldn’t need anyone’s permission.
I’d tell him he has to pay himself half and you’ll pay him the other half for his service. The whole idea of hiring someone is so you guys have more time together doing fun things. He won’t do the cleaning because he’s not doing it now. House cleaning sucks on a daily basis, but it’s a necessity. If you both can afford a cleaning person keep trying to convince him it’s in your (both) best interest. Good luck. 
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Have him do it once and see! I’m like him nowadays can’t trust people in your house…stealing stuff, your husband, your child, or yourself! Sounds crazy I know, but it happens more often then you think. 
I went on strike. I kept a bowl, plate, cup, and silverware just for myself and my child. I only washed and put away are clothes. We both work 40+ hours a week with 45 minute one way commutes. I didn’t do anything for 2 weeks. Everyday I told him I now understand why he doesn’t do anything to help because it’s nice to come home and relax. I was a nice 2 weeks. Now we do light cleaning in the house on week nights, and deep clean every other weekend together.
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