My Husband Treats His Female Friend Better Than Me: Advice?

QUESTION:

“So the week before Father’s day, my husband was avoiding me and hiding things, and then he finally admitted he had been flirting with other women on dating apps and whatnot. Well, there was a big blowout. Words were exchanged, and after a couple of days, we decided to work things out. He hasn’t been flirting with anyone anymore, and he’s been telling me if he wanted to be with someone else, he would be. Well, his best friend happens to be a woman, and I’ve seen the way he treats her and talks to her, and I wish he would do that for me. But when I expressed this yesterday, he blew up at me and flipped out. I know there isn’t anything going on between them, I’ve seen the messages, but he just acts like I’m such a horrible person. He’s been telling her all these things about me and saying I’ve said or done hurtful things to him, and I’m like I didn’t say or do anything hurtful until AFTER he broke my freaking heart because I was angry and hurt and confused and I didn’t mean anything I said or did at all. I even forgave him for what he did, and we were doing so well up until that point yesterday, but somehow even though he broke something inside me, I’m still the bad guy. Now today, it seems like things are looking up, but I don’t know what to do to make him want to spend more time with me and pay me as much attention (if not more) as he gives his best friend without him getting mad and thinking I’m suggesting they’re sneaking around behind my back. I love him too much, and I don’t want to lose him. What should I do?”

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“Love yourself more then you love him. You can’t make a man love you the way you feel you deserve. The only thing you can do is love yourself enough not to stand second best. A man who genuinely loves and wants to be with you, will do it on his own. You will be his best friend. You’ll waste a big chunk in of your life trying to beg someone to love you the way you feel you deserve… Focus on loving yourself and walk away. In order for you to find “the one” you have to love and respect yourself differently. Until then, you’ll always find yourself not being worthy to a man who isn’t even worth half of what you deserve.”

“Either seek counseling or be on your way out. This relationship sounds absolutely exhausting. From the lies, betrayal, lack of attention or love. This is not how love is or should be. I RARELY say this, but this relationship would be absolutely over for me.”

“I’m going to be honest, he’s either in love with her and has been since they’ve been best friends, or he’s cheating with her. Otherwise he would have no reason to blow up like that at all.”

“He’s not treating you right. Something is up and you are better off doing therapy or getting out.”

“If you have to beg to be treated like you matter then it is time to respect yourself.”

“You gotta love yourself more than you love him. If he’s treating another woman better than his own wife, that’s not okay.”

“Choose yourself above him, you owe yourself that much. Also what’s love when it’s one sided? Trust is broken, respect is none existent, love is one sided, now ask yourself why it’s worth it?”

“You’ve already lost him. If he wanted to spend time with you he would. Move on.”

“I’d step out of the way and let them handle their relationship.”

"Stop doing for him! Start living YOUR LIFE! don’t text him don’t call him. Find something to do even if it is sitting in your car at a beach crying! You will get stronger and realize your worth let him be!

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