So the week before Father’s day, my husband was avoiding me and hiding things, and then he finally admitted he had been flirting with other women on dating apps and whatnot. Well, there was a big blowout. Words were exchanged, and after a couple of days, we decided to work things out. He hasn’t been flirting with anyone anymore, and he’s been telling me if he wanted to be with someone else, he would be. Well, his best friend happens to be a woman, and I’ve seen the way he treats her and talks to her, and I wish he would do that for me. But when I expressed this yesterday, he blew up at me and flipped out. I know there isn’t anything going on between them, I’ve seen the messages, but he just acts like I’m such a horrible person. He’s been telling her all these things about me and saying I’ve said or done hurtful things to him, and I’m like I didn’t say or do anything hurtful until AFTER he broke my freaking heart because I was angry and hurt and confused and I didn’t mean anything I said or did at all. I even forgave him for what he did, and we were doing so well up until that point yesterday, but somehow even though he broke something inside me, I’m still the bad guy. Now today, it seems like things are looking up, but I don’t know what to do to make him want to spend more time with me and pay me as much attention (if not more) as he gives his best friend without him getting mad and thinking I’m suggesting they’re sneaking around behind my back. I love him too much, and I don’t want to lose him. What should I do?
I would definitely walk away. My husband of 16 years told my sister that he didn’t want to be with because I was a bitch and the only reason he was with me is because of our 2 children. My sister and I have NEVER been close so to find out he was talking to her about me completely broke me. If you don’t have children with this man the best thing for you to do is move on, it’s going to be tough but I promise you’ll get through it.
Emotional cheating can be even more damaging if not as damaging and hurtful as physical cheating. You’d need to decide if this is something you can and want to live with. If you ask him to cut his friend, he might resent you which won’t be good for your marriage either. On the other hand, you also need to take care of your own emotional and mental health. So, you do you first. What is it that you want? Can you achieve it with him in a way that will make you both happy? If not, are there compromises you both are willing to make that will make you both happy? And if not, what are the next steps that will lead you both to eventual happiness and freedom from pain? Remember, your happiness does not have to tie with him.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband treats his female best friend better than me and has been talking badly about me to her: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Invest your time in your own best friend and stop making yourself so available and vulnerable if he doesn’t care
Ask the best friend how long she has been sleeping with your husband 
I never experienced this in my marriage but I had ex bfs who did this, take it from me if he flirted with women once he’ll do it again and if he’s making you feel bad about your concerns, he’s dead weight hun, walk away you deserve better!
Grow up. Have some respect for yourself and get rid of your emotionally unavailable, cheating husband.
Girl sorry to say but you can’t force anyone to treat you better even when they should. He needs to figure out if he still wants the marriage.
Theyre either messing around or he has feelings for her. Walk away cause he’ll always choose her.
Any man who treats his “friends” BETTER than his wife is not worth keeping! Pack his bags.
Find a man that respects you and your marriage!
I’m sorry but what!!! I’d be damned if I ever allow a man to treat me as a door mat!!! Obviously they messing around. Idk what to tell you, you’re very naive and until you REALLY see what’s going on there’s no advice to give.
you’re not the one for him but that’s okay bc he’s not the one for you, there is a guy out there for you that would do anything for you without you having to ask for it, so love yourself enough and leave him, don’t settle for less
Hes definitely has some attachment and I’d bet it’s a romantic one with her! Run and run fast chances are they are together behind closed doors and you deserve better he already proved hes a unfaithful man through dating apps dont wait around to see the physical as well!
It sounds messed up but if you feel that way in your relationship, then it is better to walk away. No one deserves to be treated that way regardless of how someone says they love you. Sorry but it is time to leave him and start a new chapter in your life.
they are more than “best friends” and you need to walk. he already shows disrespect to you by talking to her about problems in your relationship instead of talking to you. if she really were a “best friend” to him she would be telling him to work with you, not side with him. please show the respect for yourself and walk, there is someone better out there you deserve so much more. hugs to you from a lived experience. it will hurt but so worth it in the end.
Sorry you or him cannot have the opposite sex for a best friend
Listen trust is very important in a relationship. If he gets angry because he’s not putting you first as his wife then there’s something underlying that he is not telling you. Second stop demanding so much because you are only pushing him further away. If you want to stay with this man and make things work you have to let go of the Pettiness or leave him. But you decide. To me once a man crosses that boundary with another woman I’m done with him. It’s hard to get trust back if nothing has changed. No amount of love it’s worth any mental anguish. As for you, start going out with friends and make male friends and see how he responds. I bet anything he won’t like it. Men tend to be territorial similar to dogs. Hope everything works out for you. Good luck!
He’s just not that into you.
I’ve been in this situation. Although they will both deny it, ask them how long they’ve been having an affair. 
Leave his sorry ass, there is no way I would be with a man that treats another woman better than he treats me.
Men only become the men a woman needs when he’s with the woman he wants, truly wants!! No relationship is perfect but you must care about the other person enough to have conversations and actually care about what the other person needs as an individual and a unit! I’ve learned this the hard way and found the guy that hasn’t given up and has grown for us both! Wish you the best!
The fact that you have to go to a public forum and ask, you already have your answer. Trick her, and tell her he admitted to everything. That way she’ll confirm any suspicions.
He loves her but can’t have her so he keeps her around so he can be close to her. Get rid of his ass. He can have a best female friend (whatever 
) but you should be above anyone.
This is called gaslighting, classic emotional abuser it’s just hard for you to see. This kind of thing may get better with counseling. Finding someone that treats you like the queen you are is another option.
I remember getting treated worse than the female friends and it felt pretty shtty, I’m with someone now who would never make me feel like that and my life is so much better. Starting over is hard, being made to feel like sht the rest of your life is harder. He tested the water with the dating sites and you didn’t leave him, he’ll get bolder and push that boundary farther next time, it’s only a matter of time before he cheats if he hasn’t already.
Leave that waste man
I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t believe the best friend and husband aren’t Messing around
U can’t make some one want to spend time with u they either do or they don’t start doing things that make u feel good about ur self. I hope things work out and always remember u are good enough and u deserve to be happy too.
It’s fine to have friends of the opposite sex, but if he’s OK telling her bad things about you, and he treats her better then you, they’re sleeping together, or at least planning to.
Omg dump him hes absolutly sleeping with er!
He’s a narcissist. You’ll never win.
Hes probably sleeping around however if he’s not he’s disrespecting you. Don’t put up with it. Start making plans on leaving him and get out.
Let that mfer GO. Let him do whatever hes going to do…you cannot stop or control anyone other than yourself. If you dont like his treatment towards you…LEAVE. Do it before anymore time is wasted. He sounds like a manipulator
Has hard as it can be it’s time to move on and finish this relationship. You are always going to wonder if he is doing it again. Not worth it and you are seeing what you want from him and he is not giving it. It’s hard but there will come someone who will love you how you deserve . I left my ex after 9 years and now I’m happy as I can be
If my oh treated his best friend better than me I would be out the door. You should always come
First regardless if nothing is going on. I would tell her your side of the story. How do you know what he has told her did he tell you if so why. Something is wrong here
Should’ve hired a Private investigator when you found out he was cheating and got the evidence and filed for divorce. Still isn’t too late for you to file for a divorce. Divorce him because things will continue to get worse before they get any better.
More than likely he is sleeping with her and he could be deleting the texts so you don’t see them just be sure to follow your gut feeling a woman’s intuition is never wrong
You can’t make someone love you the way you need to be loved and it doesn’t sound like he is willing to even try. Stop wasting precious time hoping he will change. If he wanted to he would have already.
It’s called gaslighting. Get out
Since when is this a question and answer forum? I’m here to see nails, not some dumb drama
Where you see smoke there is fire. Your feelings are the true sign girl! Follow your heart but listen to your brain. Ive been on both sides the female (truly just friends) and I’ve been the wife that was cheated on with a girl that was just his “best friend”. Her loyalty is to him not to you. I wouldn’t try to trick her. You’ll just end up hurt even more. I would suggest a therapist for you both. See if you can truly hash out the issues you’re having. If that doesn’t work maybe its time to move on. I was with my exhusband for 15 years. I tbouvht we would grow old together but sadly we grew apart and instead of coming to talk about us to me, ge went to her. Thats the sad thing about relationships we don’t stay in tbe same place or time. Its dynamic and people fall out of love I wish you the best 
Sounds like he’s in love with his best friend and she doesn’t like him that way so your a second choice for him because his first choice isn’t an option. Don’t settle you deserve to be #1
Leave him. Follow your gut instinct. Learn to trust it. Don’t make excuses because it’s what you want. Been there.
He getting that defensive they fuckin. Idc. Did yu ask her also
Run…. If you have to make him treat you nice he’s not worth it. His heart and mind are elsewhere. You deserve someone who’s heart is filled with you.
He’s definitely having an affair
Why is this on a nail page?
I don’t give two shits about who’s cheating on who, who’s doing who, or any of that.
If you don’t like him seeing ole girl then leave, or sleep with them both. Idgaf.
Leave him. Breaking the tie of intimacy is cheating.
My ex cheated quite a few times and I always took him.back cause I was staying for my 4 boys…I thought I could fix whatever the issue was…thinking it was me…that I was doing something wrong…well I had enough…divorced him…he remarried 6 weeks after we divorced…5 months into his new marriage he started flirting and sleeping with her 20 year old niece…
Who is sons ex girlfriend …
She just had his baby! ( my exes baby) he’s 47! Anyway…God guided me back to one of my exes and we both were put thru bad marriages…I wouldn’t stay where your not loved…
U deserve to be happy
First it all, he couldn’t be talking about me to another woman. The signs/flags are all there picking a fight is his way of avoiding the subject so you don’t ask him. Last, he really couldn’t treat me or talk to me any kind of way. Walk away before it blows right on your face. Find someone who really be into you. He lies to you he has a more serious relationship with his so called friend.
I had the SAME problem with my BD. Unfortunately we split and I ended up catching him in bed with his “best friend”. It didn’t work out for us. I was heartbroken. But I found out that I was better off without him. You deserve better than that. To me, it’s ok to have friends of the opposite sex, but it is NOT ok for you significant other to treat you worse than said friend. It’s really up to you to decide, but I just don’t see this ending ok.
He should not be treating anyone better than he treats you. If he is, you’re not the one he cares for the most. I’m sorry.
Its the shit you allow
You already have your answers no need to ask them anything. It’s time you stand up for yourself and just walk away I know it will hurt now but in the long run you will be better off. Don’t let anyone walk allover you.
lose weight buy a nice dress and get a fresh haircut and go out . fight fire with fire
He sounds like a textbook narcissist. If you have to convince him to want to spend time with you and treat you well, you have your answer. This is not a toy problem, it’s a him problem, and not one that you can fix.
The only thing you need to put that much energy in is learning to love yourself! Sounds like hes not on the same level with you, trust has been broken and thats honestly not something repaired over night. What you accept from him and forgive him for he will continue to do because he knows you’re not going anywhere not anytime soon anyway. Focus on you because the only person you have control in changing is yourself. Good luck sometimes we want to make someone love us the way we love them but you cant do that… no matter what you do you wont be able to make him love you the way you love him… so the answer is simple work on loving yourself more.
Why is every question coming from women without the common sense of a housefly? This is stupid.
No they aren’t sneaking around behind your back they are doing it right in front of you! That’s not Love in my opinion
He’s Gaslighting!!! Look it up 
Confront him about it or leave him. You’re HIS WIFE. You’re feelings should come first before any of his friends especially another female that’s he talking bad about you to. You’re his wife you have every right to question a friendship he has w another female . You have every right to forbid him to talk to her if you’re not comfortable with that friend ship in my opinion. Remember YOU ARE HIS WIFE.
Gaslighting! He’s turning it all around on you to make himself look better when he was the one in the wrong!! You deserve better!!
I’ve had this similar situation where my fiance seems to be “mr. Rescue” to these others while I was pregnant with my first. So I confronted the girl from his work - because I had enough of hearing about her and her problems with guys - and my other half had the nerve to flip the f out on ME! So I told him,"i have every fg right for what i did, this is MY family, and if you dont like that I protect my own, then pack your bags and gtfo, you are not my family and will no longer be part of my daughters life, or tell dat homewrecker to start paying some damn bills if she wants to be involved with you, and start buying me some baby things!" Lol, none of them liked that! Eventually, the girl lost her job at his work - I’m sure it was because she was trying to get with other womens husbands at the job (like, Bh, dont you have anything better to do than be a company whore, spreading your cross contamination everywhere?).
Anyhow, men dont understand that men and women work differently, what he might think is ‘being nice’ is something that means the world to other females, and ot means more than just friends!
I guess my advice would be, start sending your mortgage bills her way because obviously she and he dont respect your marriage, and if he cant grow up and be a man to you the way you deserve and stop playing you with these pathetic words that he “loves you,” but is mr prince charming to his “best friend,” then they can both enjoy paying all the bills together, and honey, rack those bills up HIGH AF! 
even an opposite sex REAL best friend should know their place!!!
I’m going through the exact same thing and we have a son and I’m so torn prayers for you
He is a narcissist- run
Husbands come in adult size ladies.
This is a joke right? What should you do? Seriously?
This is why I don’t have guy friends as well as my husband has girl friends. Too many issues there.
If he hasn’t cheated on you with his “best friend”, it will happen one day. Especially if you and him had another big fight or etc.
Save yourself the heartbreak and leave.
give yourself the love you have been craving. Do what makes you happy as an individual and in time he will come to you without you asking for it. Or he won’t and that will be the sign you need to decide what you need to do for yourself! Noone can tell you to leave or stay you are the only one that can choose that. Love yourself 1st. Good luck
Narcissist, leave now!!!
Everyone saying “leave him” obviously doesn’t realize how hard that really is sometimes. Maybe she can’t or doesn’t want to leave him. My husbands best friend isn’t a woman, but he spends more time on the phone with him, video chatting, playing videos games, getting drunk together than he does with me. And talks bad about me to his friends and makes them think I’m controlling. Am I going to leave him because he is acting childish? Nope! Talk to him again, tell him how you really feel, tell him you will leave if things don’t change. If he wants you, he will stop, if he doesn’t then he will let you go.
My at the time boyfriend said he had a best friend that was a girl it was his ex and they are not best friends anymore im his best friend thats a girl I wouldn’t of married him if he had a girl bestie he gets mad over girl you come first not anyone else unless u have children leave him he is just walking all over you
Learn how to give better BJ’S or do it more frequently.
Ask ridiculous questions, expect ridiculous answers.
Give him head more often just randomly all over the house when u can if u have kids pull his ass into a closet make him want nothing but time with u get ur sexy on give him something to think about 
Yup I know that feeling so well.
Girl you blind… they be fucking in front of you smh how can you not see this… he Def has feelings for her
No married man should have a straight women best friend … isn’t that what marrying a female is partially about ? Best friend / lover ?
Couples therapy, not Facebook. When he sees this it might not go well. Facebook is not the place. Good luck!
He’s gaslighting! I’d tell him, I’m NOT attacking you but you broke trust and my heart. The consequences were I said sh!t
…deal with it. Then tell him it’s inappropriate what he’s saying to his friend especially because it’s not true. Then bring up a Male he may be insecure about it that you both know and ask him how he’d feel if you went to him telling lies about your husband. Alternatively, leave! No one deserves that. Grieve and hurt. Then heal, really heal. And eventually meet someone who is capable of making you and only you number one.
Leave him. If he don’t fight for you, then honey you ain’t the one. Period.
Well all I got to say on this is.
If he loved you like you say then he would be spending as much time with you and doing things with you and treating you with respect.
If I was in your shoes I would be gone and be getting a divorce.
However it’s up to you if you want to keep staying in a relationship that has no respect .
All depends on what you are willing to tolerate. I had that problem with my ex (no it’s not why we split) and one I told him it was me or her. He should NOT have time in his life for 2 women. He chose me, or at least I thought so.
If that girl is being treated better then you that’s a problem in itself. And you’re finding yourself asking for other people’s advice about it online because you don’t know what to do about it because it’s ALWAYS going to bother you. I would seriously tell him you want to have a serious adult conversation: NO FLIPPING OUT bc u are both adults right? And let him know WHY you act the way you are acting. If you feel he’s treating her better then you his own wife then HE IS and it’s a f*cking problem. If he can’t honor your wishes he ain’t the one girl!!! If it was me; it would’ve been over bc that whole “she’s my best friend” or “she’s my cousin” all those situations always end up breaking the other persons heart. You are worth MORE THEN THAT! You deserve to be treated like a queen!
Love yourself. Thats what you should do. And LEAVE.
Confront them both, then get rid of him.
If he’s not messing with his “best friend” it’s not because he don’t want too! As soon as she would allow it he would do it!! That’s why he tells her bad stuff about u! Leave now! Save your self the time and heart break to wait for it to eventually happen if it hasn’t already!
Your husband is with the wrong chick
Just do what he is doing if he ask you just say we are just friends.
Put some money to the side and when you ready leave ASAP!
Abusing you emotionally and then making you the bad guy when you blow up is classic narcissist behavior and is not curable.
Pack his bags toss him out
Tit for tat… Do unto others as they have done to you… Play him at his own game…
Suggest date night once a week or maybe like twice a month (depending on finances) and you guys can’t be on your phones unless it’s a legit emergency (or you have kids) and try spicing things up a bit (could be trying new things in bed or even just doing new things together in general) you could also try like gift exchanges just randomly.
Quoted from you, “what can I do to make him WANT to spend more time with me”. The only one who can change that is HIM. He’s not worth it, there are secrets he is keeping from you rather you are blind to the fact of that or not. I have been through it &I have seen it first hand. Don’t be a door-mat, want happiness and respect, every woman deserves it. ESPECIALLY if you have his children or his last name for God’s sake 
Don’t be too sure nothing going on with them
He’s telling her all the bad things about you to her to make her feel sorry for him and make her want to be with him. You know to make him feel whole. LEAVE HIS ASS ASAP!!! if not you gonna find out in the long run they been sneaking around behind your back which will leave you more broken!!
Just go. Seriously. He’s not worth trying to change.
They more then just friends
Walk away it’s gonna happen sooner or later.