I and my husband of almost seven years met when my son was 1 yr old. He was good to my son up until he was about 5 when our daughter was born. I am very observant and started to notice he would treat my son differently than our daughter (ignoring him, no longer playful, making faces, getting upset almost if I bought i something.) I ignored it for a while; then, it started getting worse (never physical.) I finally confronted him, but he kept denying it and brushed it off. Until this day, he always contradicts me when it comes to my son and if my daughter wants soda for example and he gives her some, my son (like any other kid) asks if he can get some too , heāll say no. I asked him why not and heāll shake his head and not say anything (like if I was offending him) Weāve gotten into arguments over how he treats him but he makes me feel like Iām overreacting. Advice? (PS my sonās father passed away when he was little) heās really attached to our daughter; giving in to everything she wants, being extra cuddly and loveable with her ā¦ never my son and at times heāll ask me if my husband loves him
Dude needs to go then
Thatās weird if you ask me.
Fuck that. Iād divorce him.
Wow. He sucks. Buh bye.
Thatās shitty. Get rid of him.
Thatās messed up. Tell him bye.
Itās time to put your foot up his ass I would beat the shit out of him
Put your foot down! Or tell him goodbye. Not fair to your son at all.
He needs to go man, fuck that.
Bye husband. Kids first over everything and anything
Screw him, your son comes first and this will mess him up for the rest of his life
This doesnāt sound good
Thatās abusive. Get out of there
Been there. It only gets worse. To this day my daughter wonders why she wasnāt loved. I eventually got out. We are all much better off.
Bye husbandš Youbknow its wrong by asking the question, you and your babies deserve better xx
Marriage counseling and if that doesnāt help then ābuh bye 
ā
He needs to go! No one would treat my daughter differently than another child.
My son was treated the same way by my ex husband. We met when my son was one and he raised him until he was eight. He never treated him equally after the first 2 years. I made countless attempts at fixing the situation to no avail. I eventually divorced him. I hope you can get this worked out bc o know how hard it is to look in your childās eyes and not be able to give a reason why they arenāt loved the same. My son is 11 now and has a lot of issues bc of his lack of a father figure. Good luck.
Man screw that bs no kid should have to go through that i hope you tell your husband to fuck off and give him soda too
Iād kick my husband in the balls if he ever did that to my kid and then Iād tell him to get TF out and donāt come back
Best advice: confront him again when the kids arenāt home and floor him. Tell him he need to fix whatās heās doing or youre leaving with both children. Stand your ground do whatās best your you and the children.
I would have a long talk with him.
It can be fairly normal to be honest. Thereās a bond with the girl b/c itās his by blood. But the only thing you can do really is tell him flat out. You treat them the same or you donāt treat either period.
Do explain how it makes everyone feel, you, your son and that itās teaching your daughter that sheās more loved and can get away with moreā¦ in the long haul itās EXTREMELY damaging on everyone including g your marriage. You have to clearly explain it.
Donāt ever stop sticking up for him.
Why are you still there? If you brought up your concerns on his behavior and he hasnāt changed, Iām confused on why youāre still putting your son through that.
Ok listen to meā¦you need to leave. I had the same situation. For 10 years he treated my son like shit. I did all the things u didā¦but IT IS YOUR JOB TO PROTECT YOUR SONā¦AND YOUR NOT. He started having issues at school issues at homeā¦then i finally had enough and you know what? Weve never been happier. He is a good boyā¦BECAUSE I TAUGHT HIM TO BE sometimes you just need to cancel out the white noise. U want a good kid? Provide a good environment
Always choose your children over a man
All I had to read is my husband treats my son differently and he knows it wtf thatās your child mom up leave that scumbag
Do you know what his childhood was like? Doesnāt excuse anything but might help you both to understand. I suggest counseling. If you have a good therapist, you may understand each other and yourselves more, and fix the problem before it gets worse. I speak from experience! Good luck and positive thoughts!
Honestly i would bring up the fact that the son is questioning his love for him. If he still doesnāt acknowledge it then maybe have the son flat out ask him. Sometimes that sort of shock is necessary for them to see that the child notices and that mom isnāt just being ādramatic.ā
This is so not ok. Choose your son. I was that child that was treated differently and it has really effected me as an adult
Sounds like itās time to leave.
Tell that asshole bye
My ex did this to my oldest daughter. The child suffers the most. Get out and choose your son.
I would be kicking his ass out no one treats my kids different
Thats a problem that is hard to fixš
If you donāt put a end to that. Your son will grow up blaming you because you stood by and let that happen. I know this first hand. I have a brother and sister that grew up watching my dad favor me growing up. Their dad passed away when they was little too.
Thatās something that my stepdad has/dose done to me. It makes you feel unwanted and it really hurts you mentally. From some whoās mom brushed it off or ignored it. My relationship with him is very little. I still live with him and I can weeks (or I use to until my daughter was born ) with out talking to him. It can get very hostile if not stopped before it gets worse. And if he doesnāt change. Then maybe there needs to be a bigger discussion there
Imagine how your son feels 
poor lil guy. If you expressed your feelings about it and it continues then why are you still there? As he gets older it will only get worse.
Counseling and if he isnāt willing to change then for your sonās sake Iād leave. I would also keep a journal of things he does that yju view as favoritism or things your son says or how he acts to show in the counseling session.
Tf.
Leave.
No child should ever have to ask if they are loved.
Sometimes I feel like that cause my daughter dad died when she was 2 weeks old and I got with my sonās dad when she was 2 Yearās old and our son has a disability and sometimes it feels the same with her but now I think he see what I was talking about back thenā¦ Hope thingās get betterā¦
Iāve seen this happen and itās sad
That makes me so sad for you little boy. Donāt put up with it because thatās not right
Ohhh nooo 
. That baby sees him as daddy and heās just ignoring him .
It takes a special person to be a stepfather, and for them to treat them as their own. The average step father will choose sides. . And its bad for the step son or daughter. It is only time before the child notices it. and when he does, It is the fault of the Mother. She needs to be smart and give that neglected child more attention ever.
I wouldnāt be with someone like that. Kids deserve to feel and know they are loved
Its time to tell ur husband to fk off. Ur son even knows ur husband isnt treating him right. If you keep letting ur husband do this to ur son its really going to mess him up the rest of his life. What if you and ur husband has more children ur husband will even be more worse to ur son.
I was with my ex for 7 years and I am still working with my oldest to get past the way he treated her for so long. But in DV relationships, itās difficult to leave. I finally did and am still working with my kids
My Prayers to you & your son! Your husband should be a better and understanding and shouldnāt treat your son any different! Maybe itās time to have a serious talk with him with ultimatums! Your children are far more mentally, physically and emotionally more important than your husband could ever be! Good luck!
You have to try to get your husband to understand that heās doing something that can have awful long term consequences. No one especially someone that small should ever wonder why they arenāt good enough or why they arenāt loved- if he wonāt acknowledge it then Get him to family counseling and see what you can do as a family. Thatās not ok and Needs to stop. Now.
Call him out everytime he does it. Immediately. Stand up for your kid! If he denies it even when itās obvious, then tell him to get tf out until he can be an adult. And tell him that if you meet someone new in the meantime, how tf will he feel if this new guy shits on his little girl and acts like it never happened? So he can fix this now, or wait until it happens to her, and heāll have no say in whether or not that guy gets to stick around and shit on his baby. He gets 1 month to fix it or get out.
Nope, nope, nopeā¦your husband should NEVER make your son feel less deserving of love than your daughter just because they donāt share the same DNAā¦that is an issue that will have very negative consequences for your son and daughter if it continues
You have to stand up for your son, and if he can no longer accept him and feels like he loves his daughter more than I would personally leave him because my son wouldnāt deserve that, he deserves a father who loves him equally to his siblings
You need to nip that in the butt before it gets worse
I wish I guy would I would tell him to kiss my ass as I walked out the door with my kids in toll
Yeah thatās super not ok. and I donāt think the behaviour will change. Itāll just get worse. I would leave. The child deserves better.
My sister had 2 children from a previous marriage when she met her current husband. He was amazing with her kids at first. When their first kid was born (a girl) he got a little distant from his step kids, but wasnt necessarily ugly to them. Theyāre second kid (a boy) was born and then passed away at 4 months old. From the day his son passed away (17 years ago) to now, he has treated my sisters oldest son terribly. Never physical, just hateful and ugly to him. Like he resents the fact that HIS son died and my sisters son lived. Itās a very hard situation as a mother to find yourself in, and I honestly have no advice. But I wish you the best and hopefully you and your husband can come to an agreement that things have to change before your son ends up resenting him.
Your kids should be #1 If he is bad for your childās mental health itās time to make changes
Make sure he knows that his little girl will only know your son as her brother and will love him just as much as he loves her and when she is old enough she will notice and not like the way her father is treating her brother. If he isnāt gonna treat them equally he shouldnāt get to be around either. The last thing you need is him brainwashing her against yāall.
Stand up for your son. I wouldnāt be able to stay with a man that treated my son that wayā¦
Leave, it will ruin your son and it will probably be on you thats awful
Your kids come first. Always. Leave.
Tell your man if he canāt treat them equal then he wonāt treat either and leave with both sooner than later
Therapy. Heāll have to admit he does out loud. The therapist isnāt going to let him slide with bs like he doesnāt. And heāll sound ridiculous having to say his selfish ridiculous reason out loud.
When you marry someone with a child itās a agreement that you will love them and treat them equal. Period!! Donāt want to thatās fine marry someone with no children. I would seriously divorce a mother fucker over some shit like this
I went through the same exact thing was with my ex husband since my older one was 2 after I had my little one he was making my older son feel bad about things well after 16 years of this I finally left it has been 3 years well my older one is now 19 and asked me how I could have been with someone who was like that to him and I constantly apologize to him please know that kids know everything donāt make the same mistake I did
Talk to your son, have a sit down meeting with with the 3 of you and if your son is noticing and feeling unloved have him talk about it. Tell your husband tou see it as well. Maybe get counseling and if all else fails and you can afford it think about separating. I can only imagine how your you first babe must feel. 
. He and your daughter come first. My husband knows that no matter what our kids come first, they need the love and caring so much when they are little and also to be treated fairly and know that what they feel matters, because it does to them. Good luck.
My ex did this to my children and still does 22yrs later, heās a dick thatās why
It amazing what an adult does when confronted by a child on the subject. My advice to you is if your son is already noticing it have him ask the question why he is treating him differently and playing favoritism but make sure your present
Thatās so sad, your poor kiddo 
I say do what you would want your mom to do.
You need to do the best by your children.
Wow. This broke my heart.
Please stand up for your son.
I know leaving isnāt easy. But, donāt allow him to treat him this way.
Could be a boy vs girl thing š¤·
Family counseling perhaps
Yeah Iād be done, nobody would be treating my child that way !
Very sad. I would address this immediately. Counseling, boundariesā¦ If not, leave.
Please stand up for your child.
I wouldnāt still be with my husband if he treated my children that way. This is sad and will affect your son in the long run . Also your daughter will start noticing the difference and in one way or another I will affect her too. I would do whatās best for my children.
This is truly heartbreaking. Your husband needs therapy to help him learn to treat the kids the same . Youād need to go with him for couples counseling to explain to the counselor the issue at hand .
Thatās SOOOO sad!!! Poor little guy!
Now that sucks that your husband is an asshole.
He needs some family/couples counseling so that these issues can be brought to light and have a neutral mediator to help each person understand each otherās POV. I would try to calmly tell him again when situations arise and after they arise to discuss but if that doesnāt workā¦ I would push counseling.
I would also make a weekly mommy and me day for your son so that he can feel specialā¦ sounds very much like heās feeling awfully lonely at his age and that is so depressing!! Have him go grocery shopping w you and teach him how you shop, let him pick a snack just for him and give him some soda 
when heās with you. Buy him milkshakesā¦ just spoil him on those outings with you. Give him that love and attention heās obviously needing. Counteract what your husband is doing.
Heās fkd up to single out your son.
This is serious and I think that you need to have a real conversation with your husband where ultimatums must be made. You canāt force your husband to love your son but before anything happens, please really do some self inventory.
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Do you overreact to every little thing? Sometimes motherās overcompensate for the absent parent (so sorry for your loss) and we tend to be overprotective. You being overprotective may come of as controlling and that may have made him back off.
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Were there boundaries set since the beginning of your relationship? Ex he is not to discipline your son, only you? Discipline is part of bonding. You have to allow him to make mistakes and figure out the whole parenting thing as well. Im sure you are not perfect so to expect your husband to be perfect is simply not fair. I intervene with my husband and I canāt help it but sometimes I have to take a step back and have that discussion with my husband behind closed doors. You jumping in to defend your son has set the precedent of us vs him. Obviously Iām speaking of small things, not major blatant disregard for your son. Do you allow him to parent your son without intervening? I had this problem with my stepson. I did not want to discipline him because it was not my place so instead I became the tattletale and would tell his dad who would ultimately side with me no matter what and I saw that as unfair. So I sat my stepson down and said, āno more telling. These are your consequences if you do not listen to me.ā I did not raise my voice but things were confiscated and extra chores were being done until I sat him down and told him how much easier it will be on him if he just does his chores. Our. Relationship flourished after that. It was huge! But my husband never ran in and intervened (not saying thatās what your doing)
You maybe need to take a step back and really see the situation for what it is. If you are questioning your husband in front of your son, it might hurt your son more than you think. He will see your tone and follow suit. Please understand that I do not know you and Iām only speculating given the limited information. My husband favors our 3 year old over our older two because thatās the apple of his eye. All three are his. Little Girls LOVE their daddies. My husband goes out of his way to get her attention but thatās usually because the older two really donāt care. Maybe let your guard down a bit and try to give him reign for 2 weeks. Do not tell him you are doing so. Just see if anything changes.
Why are still with him your son comes first. NOT A MAN. Do right by your son and get a divorce before he grows up and hates all yāall.
Your husband is going to get worse . You need to leave now.
Why is this even a question ? And then people wonder how their children end up dead because significant other loses his shit when you arenāt around! Do people not watch the news ?? This happens everydayā¦ or maybe Iām just a paranoid freak and worry obsessively about my children being safe 
I would have my kid ask him right on front of me and if he was rude to his face then I would drop him. When you get with someone with a kid that is a package deal and if he canāt treat them equally then
Why would you let anybody treat your child like that shame on you cause you know its going on and doing nothing about it. r people so desperate to be married that they would give up there childs wellbeing to be with somebody who treats there child like that
Stand up for your baby and especially when he canāt stand up for himself. NEVER EVER FORGET THAT. If you do, you will be giving up on him. I KNOW YOU WOULDNāT DO THAT. Or you wouldnāt be here asking for advice. Please please please donāt let this husband do this. You canāt fix a broken heart.
Yuck thatās NOT a man. Throw him in the bin. Your kids come 1sr and heās not only damaging your son, but his own daughter as well!
Hopefully you get up and get your son some soda or whatever it is he doesnāt get but his sister does after he says no. Then you need to tell him to stop treating your son differently or he can leave!
My heart hurts for you and your son.
Family therapy would be good. He thinks youāre favoring the son over his daughter, and you think heās favoring the daughter over the son. Unfortunately, itās going to cause damage for both kids.
Maybe you need to remind him that when he married you, he became the only daddy your son has, and will, ever know. He might be favoring the daughter simply because sheās the youngest, and a girl. Daddies are partial to their little girls, even if they have several boys and girls ā¦ They will always favor the little girls just a touch more. They want their boys to grow up strong and tough and responsible, and sometimes their way of teaching boys how to be strong and tough is to be tougher on them.
I really would suggest family counseling. Try to work it out before exploring other options. If you leave, youāre teaching your children how to run from their problems, and youād be asking for a lot of heartache on the kidsā part, going through custody battles.
Your son deserves all the same love. My fatherās dad treated me differently (I had no dad) and it scarred me for life. Please put your foot down with this man, for the sake of your child.
Get rid of this tool, show him what itās like to not have a child to love, maybe heāll realize he used to have two, you are hurting your Son putting him through this kind of treatment, youāre teaching him that itās ok for people to treat him like heās less
Fuck him. Your son was there first. You need to,excuse me you owe it to him to make sure he is ALWAYS loved.
Some men donāt show affection to sons, and will be very affectionate with daughters. Some men believe itās a toughen em up kind of thing.
He should never make your son feel unloved though, Iāve been through it if you even need someone to message.
Breaks my heart but he is wrong keep fighting for your son . Or take him to therapy your husband . BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATERā¦MOMMYS CHOOSE THER KIDS FIRST ā¦POOR BABY BOY SMDH .
That is horrible!! Stick up for your son, he will remember if you donāt. I would have got the soda myself for my son. Stand your ground when it comes to your son. Donāt have to fight just ignore him and do for your son. I am not sure I would stay with him though.
Sounds like emotional abuse to me. Heās telling your son āyouāre no good because your not mineā & telling your daughter āyouāre worth more than your brother because youāre mineā then he belittles you. Family counseling might help.
And your still with him??? Why???
Ask him to participate in family counseling or two he can get out!!! Secretly record him, favoring your daughter, versus your son. Then play it back and point out each thing.
If heās unwilling to change then you as their mom, must remove him. Because your son will grow up to resent you, for allowing a man whom he thought loved him, treat him so badly.