This will not change sadly if he cannot treat them all equal then you have to leave the relationship from all of your children sake. It is unfair for them to grow up knowing they are treated differently and if they dont already see it they will.
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Wow, I married my husband 3 yrs ago. We both had teenage daughters. They are and have been from the start. OUR DAUGHTERS. Equal without a doubt. We raise and have full custody of my bio grandson⌠also known as OUR son. Please talk to him now, donât allow any child to grow up feeling second best in their own home.
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Take the bank card and go by the kids something
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Iâm going to take a different spin. Do you receive child support from the other childrenâs father? Maybe he feels that they are taken care of. Have you spoken to him about it? Like really talked. Ask him why?
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Definitely talk to him about it to give him the opportunity to change however be prepared for him not to change start taking steps to seek out a divorce lawyer and everything else. It is of the opinion that menâs frontal lobes are fully fucking formed at this point girls so heâs going to act this way no matter what I feel
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Have you asked him why this behavior is happening? usually thatâs a better course to finding the truth behind his actions than asking strangers on the internet 
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My mom had my 2 younger sisters with another man who I called my step dad for many years and who Iâve known since I was in diapers. (they arenât together now though). To put it nicely he was definitely not the greatest guy to my mom. Addicted to drugs and alcohol and abusive verbally and physically. When I was young and my sisterâs were babies I remember my mom would say he wasnât very nice to me and didnât trust me. But as I got older he took me under his wing and never treated me any differently than my sisterâs. This was over the course of years. Maybe things will change. 2 years is not a long time.
To REALLY love youâŚIs to love your child as his own. 1000%.
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Have you talked to him about how you feel? What is his say on it? Though there should be absolutely no difference in parents behaviour to kids, a lot times parents pamper their youngest ones more. Also, may be your husband feels he has limited resources and the elder kids being at a more understanding age are made to âunderstandâ. If thatâs not the case, put your feelings across in as direct way as posted here and if your husband fails to convince you, remind him he knew what he was getting into when I decided to marry you. If he canât own the elder kids, he doesnât deserve you!
The only way to make it change is to tell him.
The one that makes the rules is you! Teach him a lesson on being a father! Leave him and he will be reminded that his child can suffer the same fate the other kids have! Remember that you decide what u take!
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My hub and never treated my son from a previous marriage any different than the 2 we had together. It took him 2 yrs to convince me to marry again and when I finally said yes, he gave a toast
Hereâs to you and me and boy makes 3. I couldnât have asked for a better daddy for my son. He was 2 then heâs now 38. He loves his daddy more than his father.
When my husband and i got together we experienced this as well. What helped us alot was counseling. Having someone else help him to see what he was doing instead of feeling like i was pointing blame helped. Blending families is crazy hard! Good luck!
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No one perfect try to talk to him or if you can, talk to his friend he may need attention brought to him. about it by someone other than you
Talk to warm line over the phone they will ad ice you
I made it clear to everyone involved that all of my children are equal and they will be treated such and that I will choose them first every time⌠make a stand or find someone that loves them enough to treat them as they should be. Child support doesnât always help and itâs reembursment for what youâre already providing.
Hopefully the boys will sleep in!
Should all be treated the same. I have two children from a previous relationship. And my partner has one from a previously relationship. They are all a similar age (3ish) they all get spent exactly the same on them for Xmas and birthday. If they need something they get it. Because my girls live with us full ti.e obviously a bit more gets spend on them on everyday things but other than that exactly the same.
He earns around d 6/7 times more than what I do.
Sorry but fuck him off if he wonât change.
Does it really matter? I would talk to him of course. Really though your relationship with the children is your business not his as long as heâs kind to them I really donât think you should worry.
You have to talk to him about it! The key to any marriage is communication. Dont be accusing. Use feeling words. *Youâre making me feel (blank). *When you do this is makes me feel (blank). He will be less likely to get defensive & more open to what you say. I doubt he wants to hurt you & probably doesnât know how heâs making you feel.
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I had two daughters before I met my husband. His mom sat us down and said those girls are part of me and he must accept them as his own. I donât believe she needed to say that because heâs amazing. My 19-year-old son thanked us the other day for raising them with absolutely no division. My husband is a man. Not a boy.
If you donât know how to even talk to your husband, I think less expensive presents for your children is the last of the worries in your dilemma
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That is no good I would leave to be honest. My husband now treats my two girls as if they were his. He honestly may do more for them than his own two boys who are much older. But he is an amazing step dad. Thatâs not good. He should accept them just as much as he accepted you
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Leave the husband and take all the kids
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Well, to put it bluntly, get a backbone. Youâre their mother, the only person that can advocate for them and if you stay quiet what you allow is what will continue. He knew you had children when he chose to be in a relationship with you. He knew you had children prior to having a child with you, he CHOSE to take them on as his own own and he needs to be the man and father he decided to be. I would be furious, not tip toeing around the subject. I also hope that you realize that being a SAHM doesnât mean heâs doing you any favors. You work at home, to take care of house and children. Thatâs not free work, just because you donât punch in and out and get a paycheck doesnât mean you donât do your part in the marriage and for your family. Stand up for yourself, stop selling your things just to be able to buy your children something because because he wonât. You SHOULD have access to your money and if you donât I suggest a divorce. He sounds like an asshole because thatâs not ok and could be considered abusive. Put an end to it ASAP.
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Marriage counseling. And then family counseling. The kids see the differences and will need to talk.
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Thatâs sad when he married u he basically took the role to love ur children as his own if he canât do that than he doesnât love u
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Leave him if he loved them like his own he would show it (he is not showing you that) actions speak louder then words donât be so hard up in wanting a man in your life you allow him to put your other two children second to his own you are married to this man his is no longer you boyfriend he is your husband walk away he is showing you where he stands point blank periodâŚ
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âDo not know how to talk to himâ
Just do it. Itâs your husband. Communicate. Communication is one of the biggest parts of a relationship. Especially since you have kids in the mix.
If you canât talk to him about how you feel and have to resort to facebook, you should probably file the divorce papers now
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This is why people need to spend more time together before having kids and getting married within two years. You truly donât even know someone in two years.
Best of luck to you
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Just tell him fuck worrying about hurting his feelings or upsetting him. He needs a wake up call asap. And you need to tell him the truth and if he doesnât change his tune then you know what you gotta do.
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Just curiousâŚhave you expressed any emotion or thought to your husband about this? Has he noticed youâve been selling things to accommodate your boys? Do your bio children call him dad?
Our family is a blended family as well, or as I like to call us âweâre a Bonus familyâ. The first couple years were hard for us as well with money towards our kids & creating division between our kids. We definitely lived withâŚhis, hers & ours instead of realizing we were a big family. It took several talks & even a few arguments to realize how we both felt. I seriously think you need to talk to him ASAP because itâs not fair to you & your kids. I understand on one level itâs his own bio child but marrying someone with kids means marrying them too.
You know your husband better (obviously) but with my husband we talk really well during a date night just me & him. A nice dinner & a beer changes the tension for sure 
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Lets chill out here people. There is a very very REAL possibility that he doesent even realize he is doing it. Some guys arent wired that way. She should just line up the toys, line them all up and just say what the fuck man? Talk to him like a person. If he says its intentional maybe try some counsiling or something but noone should encourage her to leave him when there is a potential of him not even knowing there is a problem
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Once you marry someone with kids, those become your kids too and should be treated the same. You just need to come right out and say that youâve noticed his behavior, it hurts and is unacceptable. If he canât accept your oldest 2 as members of the family and treat them as well as the third, thereâs no point in being together.
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My husband treats my son like his very own hates to even say he adopted him cause to him thatâs his biological child. No man should ever favor a child, one day your kids will grow up and notice it and ask you why you let it happen. Itâs best to leave the situation before it gets worse
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I would just sit him down and tell him how you see things and how that makes you feel. You should be able to tell your husband anything.
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You are the mom. Take what he buys for the bio kid and put it up. If he doesnât get something for everyone, then the baby doesnât need anything. If he says something there is your open door and just let him know how it is, how you feel and if that doesnât work tell him you have to get a job so heâs going to have to take care of the kids while you are at work. If things still donât change then you will have some thinking and decision making to do. My bonus daughterâs motherâs boyfriend is like this and she comes home from her weekend s over there heart broken. Kids know. Good luck!
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Can you babysit as a job?! You can make pretty decent money doing that. Also, you need to be able to talk to your husband. What are your afraid of? If he has a problem with how you feel, thatâs a major red flag!
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I have a bio son and two basically adoptive daughters, they also known me as their mom. I have never treated or spent money differently on any of them because i love all three of my children. You defenitely need to talk to him because the kids will eventually catch on that theyâre being treated differently which is not fair. He needs to step up for all of them. You are married to him you shouldnât be afraid to talk to him, that would be the first thing Iâd start of doing.
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As long as the basics are taken care of: mortgage, lights, gas, water, groceries, etc. then you should be thankful since youâre a stay at home mom. Worrying about the prices on given gifts is petty.
Ps: as their parent, itâs your responsibility to make them feel special if you feel like your husband isnât doing that already. 
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How old are your other children??
Tell him if he wants you your a package deal or gtfo thatâs shitty of him it wouldnt fly with me his childish ass would be down the road
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Get a job. You canât control how others do or feel but you can provide for them yourself. Heâs already paying everything for them to live. Itâs unfair for you to think itâs his 100% responsibility to buy extra when you pay nothing and they are not his kids.
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He knew you came with kids should be mature enough to treat all equally Ofer rid of him
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Coming from the same place your at. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage and 2 with my current boyfriend. Before I had his 2 kids he would do anything for my 3 kids without me having to ask. There bday was coming up he would go buy them gifts and cook dinner for them, Christmas was coming they were the 1st oneâs on the list. After I had his 2 which are almost 3 and 1 yearsold everything changed. Everything they did it would bother them. He saw they needed hair cuts he wouldnât offer to help pay for them. School was about to start and he wouldnât help me with back to school expenses. Im also a stay at home mom because he doesnât want his kids in daycare so I have no income. I had to relay on my mom to help me with my 3 kids expense. About 6 months ago I got sick and tired of me seeing the difference. I confronted him, threatened him that I was leaving because of the way he was with my kids. I packed all of our bags including his 2 children. When he saw how hurt and serious I was being he agreed that he would change and make things go back to how they were. Now he gives me $200 a week for my 3 kids expenses plus if his 2 need anything I ley him know and he gives me additional money for them, he makes sure that he is treating my kids the same as his kids. He even set a limit that we would spend on Christmas for each kids and all 5 boys have the same limit. You need to talk to him, let him know how you feel. If you dont do that he will never change and your children will resent him for it.
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âHey babe, do you realize that you treat a and b differently than c? Iâve noticed it and Iâm just hoping we can talk it through before they notice it â
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Talk to him the same way you told us what you donât like about how your husband treats your older two children. Remind your husband that when he married you the kids were a package deal and you expect all the kids to be treated the same.
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I say talk to him first and if things donât change you should leave. Me and my siblings lives might have been better if my mom didnât stay with my step dad. Basically just lived with someone who yelled at my mom all my life.
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TALK TO HIM! My bf has been in my daughters life since she was 2.5 years old. Me and him have a child together. But he actually spends more money on her than he does on him.
Talk to your husband. Tell him what you have observed and how it makes you feel! And then youâll see his reaction.
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Have an honest and calm convo with him about it. If that doesnât work, Get some family counseling for the two of you and if that doesnât work, honestly? I wouldnât stay. Why set an example for your kids showing that youâre willing to stay with a man who treats them as less? Thatâs just showing them youâre willing to accept less. Is that what you want to show your older kids theyâre worth?
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Your kids come first all kids should be treated equal. I would encourage family counseling
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AweâŚthatâs just plain olâ BULLSHITâŚ
If that was my husbandâŚwell, he wouldnât be my husband if I had seen him treat my kids that way before we marriedâŚ
âŚbut,in this case, this is neither here nor thereâŚback to this bullshitâŚbecause thatâs what this isâŚlike someone has as already saidâŚRRUUNNN.
Food for thought on what your future may hold if this behavior continuesâŚIT WILL ONLY GET WORSEâŚAND WHAT IS THIS GOING TO TEACH YOUR YOUNGER CHILDâŚthat this is okay to treat others differently for whatever reasonâŚoh hell noâŚI would even go as far as saying that not only will this be a type of mental abuse, physical abuse may very well soon followâŚ
God Bless You and Give You the Strength you Need to Deal with ThisâŚ
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Communication. Talk to
Him, let him know your position and how itâs effects you and the children. Donât just go straight for divorce. Listen to his side tooâŚ
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Talk to him about how u feel
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Exactly how you said it on here is what you need to say. I see some people on here that are saying well itâs not his child or not his responsibility but no Iâm sorry IMO doesnât work that way! He married you knowing he was taking on the children too. There is no a.b.c child all are equal!
Iâm gonna be honest if my husband acted that way towards his non Bio child before our children together I wouldnât have married him and if he ever treated them differently I would definitely set that straight immediately.
It is not the childâs fault for not being their bio so why should they be treated differently
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I wouldnât ever raise kids that werenât mine, so Iâd never get into a relationship with someone that has them already.
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Me and my boyfriend are not married. His 3 daughters are older. We have an almost 5 year old. I call them my bonus daughters. I treat them like mine. Only difference between the kids are the ages. Therefore I treat them age appropriate. Iâm a sahm, I get money whenever I need it. If I want something I get it. If he thinks Iâll want something, I get it. All our kids are spoiled. It shouldnât matter if the kids were before him or after. He chose to take on this role, he needs to grow up and be a daddy to all of the kids not just the one you have together.
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He either treats all of them the same or you should definitely reevaluate your relationship. Thatâs bullshit. Ride for your kids no matter what cause they were there before him they will be there after him believe that!
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Iâve been with my fiance for 7 years, I have a daughter thatâs not his biologically and we have 2 together. He doesnt treat her any different than the 2 we have together. We spend the same amount on all 3 of them. He has never treated her differently. Her biological dad isnt in the picture often so itâs my fiance who is buying everything she needs. If he got with you knowing you had kids, he shouldnât be treating them any different than his own. Dont automatically leave him, talk to him, communicate how you feel and go from there. If he doesnt treat your kids the same as his than you do what you think is right. But your kids always come first. They definitely know if they arenât being treated the same.
Im sorry youre going through this. My advice is donât attack him. Heâll only get defensive and that could escalate to a fight that Iâm sure youâre not looking to have. Sometimes communicating on something thats hurtful seems scary not because their reaction but because you donât know how to start the conversation. Just talk. You got this! Everything will work out!
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How old are they? Where is their bio dad or his family? Child support? I hate these things like this bc we donât even know the whole story
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What a twatđĄ
They may not all be his children, but they ARE all yours!!!
Grow the F**k up and stand up for your two eldest.
Kick him to the curb, and raise your children the way they should be - surrounded by loveâ:heart:
Just gotta communicate your feelings. My husband loves my daughter as his own. If anything, he spoils the crap out of her more than our son we have together! But his family is the same way. They welcomed my daughter and would do anything for her. Hopefully he will be back from his deployment soon so our babies can have their daddy back!
Can you get a credit card in both your names? If so, I would get a card and buy the other kids the same level of everything and when asked about it tell him they will be treated equally. If we can afford for one, we can afford for all. If we canât afford for all, then we canât afford for one. Iâm a bitch like that, though.
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You let it happen. The first time he done it you shouldâve put a stop to it right then and let him know that wonât be acceptable in this marriage.
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I think you need to talk to him, He may not even realize the difference himself, And itâs not uncommon for him to feel strongly for his bio child, That doesnât mean he dislikes yours, But it can be different knowing that is HIS child, He helped create etc, If he continues after the talk, then I would suggest leaving and doing right by your kids so they donât grow up thinking you are ok with them being diminished in any way, That said heâs still going to see his child and likely spoil the child, So youâll also need to build resilience in your children so they donât feel jealous about it.
My kids would come first. This will effect them forever. Very sad 
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File for child support from their dad.
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put you foot down. Not that hard. Dont be a weak woman,mom
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That is so wrong,if he accepts you then he should accept your children,sit down and have a conversation with him about the situation,tell him if it doesnt change then you will find someone who does,he might just think about it
Do you get child support from their father?
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You really do need to have a conversation with him about this⌠Its not a nice burden for you or your children to carry. All the best 
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Tell him just exactly what you think and make sure he knows everything he has done to yâalls kids and you mean it that if it doesnât change quick something will change with him tell him how wrong it is to treat the children that way I would really give him whatâs going on talk whether he likes it or not he needs to learn to grow the hell up and now before it costs him everything that really does matter to him and mean it
If the guy was a man he wouldnât be like that out of love and respect to you. He should treat them like his own. Some guys are jerks. Tell him how you feel about it. If heâs a dick move on because itâs going to be on your mind all the time. If he donât step up and be a real man. Then he donât deserve you.
put your kids first girl , youâre their only advocate !!! if that man canât love your kids then you shouldnât be with him, 
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Im a father of three that are not biology mine but when i married my wife Krista Smith all them became mine i got custody of my son a few years ago and i treat all four the same they ours together
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That is literally bull and I would say something! Maybe you just buy the Christmas for all of them instead of him
If they only know your husband as their dad you need to talk to him and remind him he has 3 children, not 1. All should be treated equally.
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Why do other women bash this woman? This group is supposed to give advice not put her down. It is amazing we can say such awful things. We should be non judgmental. We are all moms. We all do things different. We never know what itâs like walking in someone elseâs shoes. She just wants advise not bullyingâŚ
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Thatâs up to you to make sure he knows you expect equal treatment if he feels comfortable to do that itâs because he doesnât value you or your children. It will cause long term issues for your kids and between your kids as siblings. His kid will know he or she is valued more and you will have a big mess as they grow up. Itâs sad that the question even needs to be asked. Should be a clear choice.
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I agree, talk to him about how youâre feeling. But I guess what you should be asking yourself
is, what are you going to do if he says something hurtful??? If his response isnât what you were expecting!? It can either go one of two waysâŚyou have 3 children who all need youâŚitâs sad because Iâm sure your kids see it and feel the difference 
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Well why isnt the bio dad paying support? Just because your 2 kids see stepdad as a bio dad doesnt mean he will see them as his kids. Thats how many people think about their stepkids.
I believe in buying equally for all kids. my stepson is 8 and i have 3 other kids.
BUT if Bio dad isnt in the kids lives and he is on the Birth certificate still, you shouldnât be letting those 2 kids see your husband as their dad. Big mistake I see many women make because Bio dad can come back anytime and force visitation through court or the new guy leaves and pops off with youâre bot my kid. Either remove the bio dads rights to the 2 kids and let hub adopt them, get child support, get a job and support your two kids, or sit down and have a heart to heart and find out why hubs isnt treating the kids equally gift wise.
Now I hope thats not the only reason you are upset. Honestly id be pissed if he treated them differently/play favorites, but really you need to have a heart to heart and ask him whats going on. Remember those are not his kids. He technically isnt obligated to care or provide for them.
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Fuck him⌠he married you knowing you had 2 childrenâŚits not like he has 1 child and you have 3if he cant treat them all the same dump his ass âŚhe is not a caring man
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Itâs easy. Think of ur two children. Do not let anyone shit on them. Itâs all or nothing. My opinion
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Tell him they are all going to be treated equal, and youâll except nothing less. You are all three of those kids mother and you need to be all three of their voice.
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What about their biological father? Is he doing anything? Do you get any child support?? If not then you need to and get a job if itâs that big of a problem
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Iâve been in your kids shoes all my life and it sucks. Try to do something about it because your children will resent you for allowing it
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Something fuckey with this story
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Sit his ass down and tell him to treat all the kids the same way or hit the curb.
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I think heâs forgetting those are his babyâs siblings. Soon enough, the baby will realize that the siblings are getting treated less than him. Either the baby will grow up thinking the siblings are worth less than him or will think his dad is worth less than him. Itâs all about respect. He will either lose respect for his dad or his siblings. That could also include his mother.
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You know my friend had a child from a previous marriage and she didnât tell him her husband wasnât his dad til he was 16 and his response was now it all makes since why i was always treated so much differently⌠That hurt my heart all them years that kid wondered why he was treated different in silence 
I would never want that for my children⌠Just something to think about
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get professional help. dont take chances with this type of thing.
My dad always did this to my brother. It was his stepchild but my brother and the woman he claimed to loves son. So. I guess itâs natural in some ways. But it really. Really. Showed to the point it was almost ridiculous.
When you marry someone you love everything that comes with them. Especially the children.
Its bullshit to have one left out while the others get everything. Its pathetic for an adult to do that.
I hope he turns it around because those poor kids dont deserve that shit. Not their fault why should they get the shit hand and practically favoratism. Parent fail at its finest folks. And those poor kids will see that all too well. I know my brother did. And itâs just sad. Iâd lose my shit.
P.s Iâm not saying act out in anger. But something needs to be done cause its things like this that shape children into who they become and essentially their growth. Mentally. And how they will do when they are parents.
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Iâd leave him. Not a chance in this world my kids are going to feel like they arenât as special.
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Question. How did he treat them before you got married?
Say to him exactly what you have written here.
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Okay so using christmas scenario⌠my ex and.me had 7 kids between us⌠i had 2 from previous he had 4 then we had 1 together, his children got £100 each, my children got £200 each (I paid for all) his kids had their mums presents to go back to where as my children had just me & him, he didnt pay for nothing for any of the kids 
⌠look at it if was on the other foot, would you spend the exact same on his kids? 
You do for one as you do for the others thats how i was raised in my home, 1 bio sis and 2 half siblings and my bio dad their step dad always always used to say that and prove that⌠And if you dont or cant do for all then you dont do for any⌠Simple as that. Figure out a how.much money is being spent and split it 3 ways⌠Its actually quit simple in a situation now where im with someone and have 2 kids from prev relationships he has 1 kid and we have 1 on the way and i will be damned if these children get treated differently⌠I have already told my SO how ive felt and make it a point even if it makes a problem because every child deserves to be treated equally⌠My opinon. Thats how i was raised.
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Honestly be brutally honest. A stable relationship can handle it.
My kids bio did this, he favored the youngest each time we had one, hell he still does, though she doesnt even call him dad (we have been seperated almost a year and he has seen them once)
It pisses me off royally but i tell him its not acceptable.
And that is something i made very clear from the beginning with my new bf. He has a kid from a previous relationship that he gets visitation with. She has grown up with my kids and so she is just as much mine as my own. I make sure she has her space and is t left out of anything, he is good about doing the same for mine. He does stuff with them even when she isnt visiting. They do call him dad but he earned it in their eyes.