I need advice! I just started my job two months ago I just found out from him and his friend having a conversation that he took a traveling job today we have four kids, and he expects me to quit my job and be a stay at home mom since he is going to be making $20 an hour. He doesn’t realize why I’m upset that I was the last to find out instead of us talking about it I just don’t know what to do stay at my job making $14 an hour, so we both have income or just stay home with my youngest two
Sounds like HES jealous
Try to work hrs that are best for your kids and dont relay on him
It should be a two way street he should talk to you and now that you know talk to him uhaul is at home job $14 an hour thats something to look into so you dont lose out in yourself i wouls be upset as well
I would suggest keeping your job too. This day in age 20/hr is not much for a family with 4 children.
He doesn’t consider you his partner, but his slave. $20/hr. is chickenfeed.
Shoot, i have four kids. Id stay home. Lol id kill to be a stay at home mom.
How can he even support a family of six on only $20 an hour? I don’t see how you can provide for four children without two incomes. He should have discussed the job with you first. You have a right to be upset.
Have a discussion with him. Ask him to find something that doesn’t put so much stress in the family. If he’s un compromising you need to paddle your own canoe
He’s going to work away from home for a few dollars more than what you make and your going to be around for your kids ?? I’d definitely keep your job work hours to suit you if that’s possible…as for your husband you need to talk …good luck
Girl…I would think divorce…
Two incomes are better than one.
Family of 6 you need at least 40 an hour. 20 an hour is nothing special now a day
20 an hour for four kids and a wife isn’t livable, my husband makes 30 an hour and he got a second job, because we weren’t cutting it with the one job, he had to get a second job, I’m disabled, it breaks my heart that I cant help, he should have asked you how you felt about him taking a job that travels.
$20 an hour? To provide for a family of 6? But then if you are both working, and that brings in daycare expenses. Are you more upset that he didn’t talk to you first or the fact that you won’t be working? I’m really confused at this post…
Don’t quit. $20 an hour to take care of a family of 6 doesn’t cut it. Good luck
Doesn’t sound like a partnership to me or he would have talked to u
$20 bucks an hour isnt crap. I have a family of 4. My kiddos r 17, 15, 12. It still isnt enough.
Apart from anything else - he should have spoken to you about it first ,
I have been in that situation .
Wtf nah keep your job. $20 an hour is not enough. And while he’s “traveling” what are you going to be doing? Going crazy at home? I’m not saying to not trust your man but what would you do if he up and leaves after you leave your job? Who is going to take care of you? Keep your job. Do what you want to do. He can’t expect you to make changes based on him just making choices without you. Fuck that…
Where do you live? How can yall make it on $20 an hour?!?!
$20 an isn’t much at all girl. Keep your job
20.00/hr??? 4 kids??? How will you survive
Keep your job. If childcare is too expensive for the both of you, find a stay at home position
Get a babysitter someone u can trust so u don’t have to quit ur job…
Of you quit you will wind up resenting him in no time…what do you use childcare now…that you can’t use then…
There needs to be a conversation he shouldn’t be telling you what to do
Being able to be a stay home mom is a BLESSING. Not many couples can afford to do it. I would DEFINITELY think it through. Your kids are even more blessed to have one parent home. You have a whole lifetime to work outside the home.
Work and make your own money. $20/hour is nothing if he’s not even going to be there
$20 an hour to support a family of six…man, I only have one child and was a sahm for years before just getting 100% sick and tired of struggling. We are not a low maintenance family by any means, $20 an hour with overtime only mad us about $800 a week (when my fiance was working ALL overtime possible) and less when not working it all (you become burnt out horribly quick with that). We barely had $ to eat out even once a week. Granted, all of our Bill’s were always paid on time, if you yourself aren’t out making money so you can spend a little on yourself every now and then, you’ll go absolutely insane. I need my weekly shopping trips. And you’re supporting a family of 6! In my area, that would be considered living poverty level.
My first question is where do you live that 20$ an hour is enough to sustain a household where you stay home with kids??? Because i wanna move there.
talk to your husband so both of you could decide what to do.make a budget plan and show him .just be very loving and understanding to explain matters.
Keep that job! If he’s making 20 and you 14 there is no reason those kids can’t be put in childcare while you work and he’s out of town, you should definitely be able to afford it! Or have any family that can sit with the kiddos ?! Even if you can’t work full time try and work part time so you have your own money !
The first thing I would do is sit down and talk to him about all scenarios! Maybe he wants you to be home with the kids because he wont be there as much and he wants them to have as much comfort as possible with the transition! However if you do not want to quit your job then dont do it! Also none of us know your financial situation to answer if it’s a good financial decision for you to quit! In my case, my husband and I own our home we do not have to pay rent or mortgage or anything like that so literally we could make ends meet with $20 an hour at 40 hours a week (I’m also not sure you mentioned how many hours he would be working and getting paid for) I personally do not like not having a job! I work in home health and the times that I’ve been without a permanent client! So this is a decision you have to make based on your personal feelings! But in would deff talk to him about how he did not talk to you first and how you were the last to know when you should have been the one he discussed it with first! Good luck mama!
Stay at work ! For many reasons forst for your independance second to teach you kids see you also are a part of the structured family and many other reasons
He thinks he’s going to feed six people on 20 bucks an hour? I don’t think so…where are you living, under a bridge?..as I rethink this, do the math…it may be cheaper to stay at home (and actually better for the kids) than to pay for daycare.
Def take some time to sit down together and discuss all the pros and cons. Do So this alone in a quiet area. Both of you should be willing to compromise based on facts not feelings. Of course your feelings should be considered but when making good financial decisions they should be considered secondarily. Good luck and good vibes for whatever you choose to do. Remember to en Joy your lives✌
I make more than $20/hour and I’m single and it’s tough…
Uh, $20 an hour isn’t nearly enough to support your family.
Husband & Wife should be a team . Explain to him ur his wife and any decision made about ur family will be together. Certainly not told about from him or his friends. Therefore you need to seat down and discuss this together.
Keep your job! He shouldve discussed with you about getting a new job, selfish move. Besides 2 incomes are better than one.
Not a lot of income divided by 6 people…
…and what year are we in??.
At the end of the day - if you can be a stay at home mom raising your own children yourself instead of paying someone else to do it, please stay home. It will benefit your children beyond what you can imagine. Then when they are in school, go to work if thats what you want. And maybe in the meantime, take classes so you can get a job that pays more than 14 in case you have to get rid of hubbie. Its concerning that he has 4 children and seems to be excited with this "traveling " job. Mommy, be aware and be ready.
$20/hr puts a family of 6 on welfare. That’s a pretty selfish choice he made for you.
He’s mad. Surely he can get a local job for the same money. DONT STOP WORKING.
And not discussing a traveling job with you FIRST is a red flag.
keep your job. use childcare
My husband makes $22 an hour. I haven’t worked in over a year for health reasons. We struggle!! And it’s just the 2 of us.
Dont give up yourself.
You have to look at the cost of daycare vs the money you bring home. $20 an hour is good money when you’re single living in a decently priced area, but to support 5 others on that will be tough. Also if your money will only pay for daycare, it may not be worth it. If there’s enough left over after the expense, I say show him the numbers
As an older woman my advice is to always have at the very least a part time job. My husband was “no wife of mine is going to work”. He left me and our three year old son. He closed all our accounts and took all our money (in the old days the bank did not even need the wife’s signature). Needless to say with no job skills and a baby to feed my life was a real nightmare for awhile. DO NOT be me dear.
Dont do it. My hubby makes 28/hr and there 7 of us. I just started working a month ago at 13/hr.
I’ve been through that myself, my hubby made more than $20 PH… I quit my government job, raised my children wo him home, I wished I never quit, I would be retiring in a few yrs, along with my coworkers I worked with back then…
He sounds very selfish!
Do not!! I repeat, do not give up ur job and lose ur independence. Men switch and turn the tables in an instant, speaking from experience, I wish I didn’t give mine up
Keep your job. You will regret it later on. Plus $20 an hour is crap. You can’t feed 6 people with that.
I quit my job and stay at home. I think the worst feeling in the world is not having money, and having to ask for it after working harder at home than any job. It puts them in control and by him not talking to you first isnt right either so sounds like the type I deal with. What will he do next? Just my opinion though. If I could do it over, I’d make sure I had access to the finances and if he considers it his money or your money as well. Also, does he help with the kids? Because otherwise you never get a break. Even if you dont make alot, a break from your kids is good for both you and your kids. Even a little money is better than none especially when you have kids just in case you need something. Otherwise, the money is spent on what he thinks it should be spent on. Hopefully he looks at it differently, but it truly sucks to have to rely on someone else and asking for money like you’re a child.
He is getting ripped off Big time. Or lying or something doesn’t add up. 20 dollars an hour for a job that travels is garbage!!!
… $20 an hour is not a lot of money. ESP not with 4 kids. He better turn it down and find something else local
Keep your job! It’s tough living on one income especially when you have kids! And 20.00$ an hour isn’t that much to support a family! Maybe you should send him grocery shopping
I have been married for 37 year now. My husband and I sit down and talk about things that concern our family and decide together. I bothers me he didn’t talk to you about this travel job he has gotten. Not only will he be away from you but the children too. I know some fathers or mothers are away some because of their jobs but he didn’t talk to you about this. You both needed to talk about how it will be for you to have the total care for the house and children while he is away. Plus do you have a child that seems like he/she needs that extra time with daddy. The children could think the daddy doesn’t want to be with them. There is a lot to talk about and to decide if $20 a hour is what the family needs if a absent father with hurt the children.
If he didn’t discuss with you 1st before accepting that spot,then he must be up to something.Keep your job & put the kids in daycare.Then look out for you & your kids.Open an account in your name & just take some money out of your joint account & put into yours & start saving in case of the worse.
Sorry but you have bigger problems if your husband accepted a new job, traveling no less, without discussing with you.
So she’s supposed to stay at home lose her identity while he travels?
Oh hell no!!! Keep your job!
Keep doin what u were doin, what he talkin about, depend on no one, take care of ya family and be strong in your independence, even wit a man, apply common sense before anything…
So you will go from 70,000 a year down to 40,000, like make it make sense he’s trying to control you.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Do some research and figure up a budget that includes child care
Keep your job! He will switch up and tell you his life sucks because you quit your job. He will make you feel guilty.
Keep working. could you get a work from home opportunity and keep making that money in that way?
Something is not right him to start with…a controlling issue here, and yes, 20 an hour isnt much…
Keep your job. You will want and need that.
Keep your job, always be independent
Talk to him and keep your job.
Stay on your job!! How old are the kids if their in school all day find a sitter for after . Now way ur gonna make it on one income at $ 20.00 an hr unless he’s working 50+ hrs a week
Two incomes is better then one maybe sit and talk about how to make it work for both of you to work since it will benefit the family
Keep your job and save what you can…if he’s going to control you it’s time to go because it’s only going to get worse… To stay at home with the kids everyday is great and all but you will need a break and a job can do that and you’ll be making your own money
Don’t quit. Been there. Done that. Regret it to this day.
If you want to work and that makes you happy and gives you Independence! Keep your job!!! Good luck!
If it was your choice you could make that work. But if it’s not, dont do it. You don’t want him to leave you, and you have no job. You may want to keep it for many reasons.
U better keep that job…
Keep your job it takes two people working to raise kids
Married long time.I would never give up my job.You can change hours childcare or other things but no dont stop.
Definitely not cool on his part but this just comes down to simple math. See if paying for childcare is worth you working. If it makes sense financially AND makes you happy to work then you shouldn’t quit. Honestly it takes 2 incomes these days and $20 an hour after taxes isn’t enough for a family of 4+.
Two incomes is always better and you always need to look out for yourself also things come up in life where you might need the extra income
First of all, how old are y’all?
First think how old does your children are? Then think how much you love your job? Another option if your children are too young and you need to be there to look after them you need to find alternative ways to earn. Online selling nowadays is common and very idealistic way to earn. Depends on your specification’s. It’s all about idea and time management.
Keep your job. $20 an hour isn’t enough to support a family
keep your job he should have discussed this with you
He sounds selfish af, 20 bucks an hours isn’t going to pay well for 4 kids and bills smh , some men don’t completely think things all the way through or use common sense. You need to put your foot down. Or you can work from home possibly?
Keep your job love! He’s trying to control you on the low!!! Keep your job!!!
Put them I daycare . Sounds like he is controling .my husband tried the same thing with me but I stood my grounds
Depends on how much childcare is
PLS ,STAY ON YOUR JOB BECAUSE TWO INCOMES WILL SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY BETTER. Further more, No one, NOBODY KNOWS TOMORROW, NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT, THINGS & SITUATIONS OR CIRCUMSTANCES DO CHANGE A LOT AND THERE IS RESPECT & DIGNITY IN LEGITIMATE, CLEAN LABOUR, SO KEEP YOUR JOB & YOUR FAMILY. Your Great Children are MATURING & GROWING ON DAILY BASIS. BUT RESPECT YOUR DEAR HUSBAND & DIALOGUE PEACEFULLY & CALMLY WITH HIM TO THE GOOD REASONS. GOD BLESS.
He havent even had his first check nor does he know if he will even like the new job…keep your job
I dont quit my job for no body ,if make you happy keepit
Don’t quit your job.
$20 an hr. To travel?? That is nothing. Better keep ur job and he better look for a second job
Keep the job and do you have family or friends who can help with childcare? Grandparents even, let’s not forget to pay anyone, even if it’s not the going rate! It’s still their time and food they have to purchase. No one knows how long his job will last or how long he will want to do it! I see no talking as his way of “do as I say” You need to sock some money away, many men start this when they go are thinking of leaving the wife. Cover yourself and start a separate checking account. Keep the finances separate till you see where this leads. Good Luck.