My husband wants me to quit my job because of his: Advice?

Work work keep your job

$20 an hour, what a jerk, omg, contril freak much?. Leave him. Support a family on that. Welfare!

I how old are your kids
If there old enough to go to school work when there in school

Don’t quit your job for him. Don’t do it. He can get a different job that also allows you to work. If he dies or leaves you for some bimbo he meets while traveling you will be destitute without any recent job experience. If you finally get tired of his controlling ways you will be trapped because you have no job experience. I was left at 41 with a special needs toddler and an infant son after being home for 10+ years. I had to start all over and go back to school before I could get a decent job. Better to start over now and let him take his traveling job. Thinking of it that would be perfect as you will not have to worry about him trying to get custody of the kids and you can find a smarter man. Me jaded much.

2 Likes

Keep your job maybe cut hrs a bit. That way ur bringing in $ n getting out some. He should have talked to u about his job to make a joint decision.

You should keep your job for many reasons. $20 an hour financial isn’t enough to support a family. Not only that but what if your husband falls ill? No one knows what the future holds…

1 Like

Working is security for you and your kids. Keep the job please.

4 Likes

The discussion should be between the 2 of u first.y r u the last to know?and then he will ask you to be stay at home mom.i
I would kip my job

Work mama, work work work

1 Like

Not discussing this with you first shows a total lack of respect and commitment to your marriage. Keep your job. Find some child care.

4 Likes

If it bothers you enough to seek outside advice, you should keep your job. If you quit, you’ll never forgive him for it and it will take its toll on your relationship. $20 an hr is not enough to travel and be away from his family. In this day and age he can find a job just about anywhere for close to that and still be with his family every night. Hell either respect your decision or hes not the one for you.

2 Likes

Keep your job! Lack of communication in any marriage is not good at all. A waiter can make more than 20/hr. Must be other reasons for this stupidity. That not enough for 1 to live on let alone a family. Seriously must be more to this nonsense

2 Likes

I agree with Audrey Leblond not discussing it with before he decided to take it is a clear sign of disrespect. Keep that job girl. You’re not far from that $20 an hour yourself!

1 Like

Keep your job OPEN A SAVINGS ACCOUNT IN YOUR NAME ONLY and research daycare

3 Likes

Keep your job, make him pay for child care since he likes to make life decisions without you…

2 Likes

Keep your job. It might be very hard to get another if you need it. As for his earning $20 - but wants to lose $14? So he’s saying your time is only worth $6 an hour? Mmm. I wonder what else he has up his sleeve?

Keep your job!! If you don’t you have no Independence and that’s when the control starts!!

1 Like

Dont quit your job!!! He shouldve talked to you first. Find out if you can get a child care subsidy for the littles and continue. God forbid something happens to him at least you have an income.

You are a grown woman I understand why he wants u home but I understand you at the end of the day u have to make yourself happy or no one is happy . Do you

2 Likes

I say keep it. Not telling what the future holds

You have a marriage issue. Taking a job that includes travel needs to be a discussion of the family. Try to communicate with him. Keep your job! You can handle this situation. Don’t be ready to give up try to go to counseling together. Find out why he’s telling you vs discussing as a family.

1 Like

He is a bastard for doing that! Keep your job! How old are the children? I survived on my own working full time with two children. I’m glad that they are big now. But, I would have never quit my jobs to end up on the welfare system. Not that it is bad. I just prefer my own money without giving explanations!

Where are you located
Where I live $20 hr is below minimal wage

$20.00 an hour is not much unless there’s more than 10 hours overtime. I would keep my job and save as much money as I can.

Child care is expensive and at $14 and hour that’s exactly what your paycheck will go to. Question is does it make financial sense?

Dont don do it you won’t have any social security built up unless he claims you and your kids as dependamts

Law of Attraction - Ask, Believe, Receive
Whether it’s your health, wealth, happiness, or any other element of your entire life experience, it is essential to keep in mind the importance of the movement of your attention. You must be obstinate and persistent in not allowing the viewpoints or information of others to alter your inner world. You know what you wish to become and what you would like to manifest for yourself.
― Wayne W. Dyer

1 Like

I wouldn’t quit I would find a babysitter. Cause, the fact he did this out of spite.

1 Like

Work. keep your independence and maybe part of your sanity.

10 Likes

Keep ur money momma!!! You’ll miss it

3 Likes

What do YOU want to do? He didn’t discuss his new job with you first so do what you want. That’s what he did.

6 Likes

Do what YOU want because it’s YOUR career

4 Likes

Men aren’t reliable. Keep your job bc if he ever walks out you won’t have anywhere to go bc you’ve depended on his money. Always look out for yourself & your kids first. :woman_shrugging:t2:

19 Likes

$20 an hour for ab out of town job is hardly worth it. What are your daycare expenses? Do you take home enough money after paying daycare to make it worth it for you to work?

I was making more than $20/hr and I quit to stay at home with my kids, but my husbands out of town job pays way more than $20/hr…

You need to do what’s right for your family…

2 Likes

$20 an hour full time is not enough in this day and age to support a family. Keep your job.

5 Likes

Keep your independence. Find a babysitter and make that money.

2 Likes

$20 an hour isn’t enough for 2 adults and 4 kids to live off of comfortably…

4 Likes

In this day and age $20/hr is not enough to support your
Large
Family. And I’m always
Leary of
A man wanting his partner to quit work and
Be a sahm. A woman needs to be
Able to support her
Kids in the
Event anything happens
To the
Marriage.

3 Likes

You’re going to need that second income… trust me. Tell him when he makes $35 an hour you’ll be able to work part-time. (Plus he’s a dumbass, but that’s something you’ll have to figure out how to deal with on your own.) Good luck!

My husband makes 20 an hour and we still struggle to make ends meet and it is just 3 of us including him. Might want to consider keeping your job. Hope all works out for you.

1 Like

4 kids? Keep working. He has no idea.

2 Likes

20 an hour isn’t as much as he thinks my husband was making 20 and hour and we were barely getting by I’m a stay at home mom of 3 , he’s now making around $500 to 800$ a day because we own a business but that 20 an hour just wasn’t enough

2 Likes

It’s pretty much up to you! If you want to keep your job then keep it! He can not force you to quit, and if he does… Then I’d be keeping my job and finding a divorce lawyer 🤷

1 Like

This is doable. My dad worked away for months at a time, and still managed to work. We live in different states to the rest of the family, so my mum had no other support systems. Check out the school before and after school care, if you work shifts, look into family day care, they normally have more flexible hours. You got this mumma and you will do it well.

Real question is what do YOU want to do? He can expect all he wants but if you don’t want to stay home then don’t.

3 Likes

That’s only $38k before taxes. It ain’t worth it

3 Likes

Keep your job. Your $14.00 is only the beginning. It takes two incomes to support a family of six. I was a much better mom by working.

2 Likes

I would stay home with my kids

Personally I would work also even if my husband made enough

20 /hr out of town isnt worth it really. And if you can make it work while he is gone with the kids then I would keep your job. I’d be upset to if this is something he has already made a decision on and you were the last to know…

3 Likes

Idk 20 an hour I couldn’t imagine being able to do everything needed without 2 incomes but I live in FL which is expensive anyways. I personally wouldn’t do it.

Make a list of all your bills and stuff and see if you can anyways

Sounds fishy to me, if he didn’t discuss his new job with you I wouldn’t quit my job yet until you find out what’s going on.

1 Like

If you can swing working an child care. Do what makes you happy. Some people aren’t cut out to be a stay at home mom. Think of the big picture if being home was something you always wanted do it. If you like being out making your own money. Do pros an cons

I’m actually more bothered he made a life altering decision without even sounding the idea out with you. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. I’d keep working, set up a network of family, friends, school and daycare to make sure the kids are taken care of. If he’s willing to make a decidion like that without you, I would worry what else he might decide to change…like the locks. Good luck!

8 Likes

Idk we have five kids and my kids father makes $19 an hour and we make do just fine. But I won’t lie sitting home with kids sucked :rofl: I missed work, socialization, all if it. Lol

1 Like

You are not a fucking child you are an individual with aspirations and personal needs. You shouldn’t have to fucking ask for money or explain yourself in order to get it Idk if he allows you access to the bank account. Independence is important as a woman. Sanity too. Your purpose on Earth is more than just a stay at home maid and mother. You have to keep a part of yourself and take care and create and maintain a sense of self. One day your kids will grow up and move on with their lives while you loose yourself if you don’t acheive a career etc. Time to your self for.your sanity. Online jobs business ownership, etc. Is optional. Don’t completely depend on anyone if you are able bodied it’s not productive for you.

Don’t quit your job. Has he ever had a traveling job before? It doesn’t work for some. You would hate to quit and then have to go begging for your job back if that is the case for him.

It depends on how both of you feel. I wouldn’t be able yo justify spending almost every dime I made paying someone else to watch my kids. But to each their own. I do also know that having a job can be very beneficial to mental health because you get time away from your house. If it was me, I would probably make a list of pros and cons.

1 Like

$20/ ain’t shit with 4 kids. You might wanna keep your job

$20 ph is NOT a lot for a family of 6. I think it would be best to keep your job mama

10 Likes

Neither of those are killer salaries. You should both keep your jobs.

4 Likes

I make more than that myself and I assure you we wouldn’t make it if my husband didn’t work, also. I’m also bothered that he mad this decision without consulting you. Sounds fishy.

1 Like

My ex husband made $35 an hour and we got divorced over finances. I was a SAHM with 2 kids and we could barely afford to live with that salary and it was not anything comfortable by far.

1 Like

Keep your job! Extra money and allows you to save

2 Likes

Find child care. I seriously would never let myself be 100% dependent on anyone things happen

4 Likes

I’d keep it. Extra money never hurts. What if his job doesn’t work out? Finding another job if it doesn’t, at the last minute, isn’t as easy to find as people think. I say work for a while, at least give it a shot, get your routine and plans for kids in order and try it. You didn’t mention kids ages but figure out cost of daycare or whatever you may need for them and go from there.

3 Likes

It’s the 21st century, u need ur life too

1 Like

20 and hour doesn’t get you far in this economy lol

6 Likes

It really depends on several factors honestly. 1 where do you live? With the cost of living is it possible for your family to live on only $20/hr. Where I live that’s a no it would be impossible with the cost of living so that job making $14/hr would be a great help in my families expenses.
#2 what do your benefits look like? Would you have to change your families benefits based on his job and is it cheaper for you to keep your own. #3 keeping your job will allow you some financial independence from him and should an unexpected expense come up you won’t be strapped for cash because you have your job. #4 what does Day care look like? Is it worth it to spend the out of pocket on what you guys will be bringing in or does it make more sense to stay home?

I would say honestly sit down with your husband explain the pros and cons of you keeping your job and then explain to him why you feel it’s important to keep working and go from there.

1 Like

No don’t quit.You two can get ahead by both of you working.

1 Like

Don’t discuss anything while you’re mad. Sleep on it.

1 Like

Poverty line for a family of 6 is $35k/year. $20/hr is $41,600 before taxes/insurance. Don’t quit your job.

8 Likes

Well 20.00 is not very much

2 Likes

Find daycare keep your job atleast try it out and if you rather be a home mom then you can transition and give your job advance notice

1 Like

I’ve learned being completely dependent on someone financially is never a good idea.

3 Likes

My husband works out of town, I quit my job 6 months ago, however, I quit because I’m a mom and full time student. 20 an hour is doable, here is my question… does he get per diem for living expenses? Is there plenty of overtime involved for him? The reasons I’m asking, if there is no per diem, housing, or overtime $20 an hour is not worth traveling. As far as you leaving your job, completely should be up to you. :slight_smile: praying for great, happy results.

2 Likes

20 an hour is decent pay, but with multiple kids, itll never be enough to not have to struggle.

3 Likes

I’d be pretty mad I was the last to know as well. Don’t quit if you don’t want to or Maybe work part time if you want, It’ll cut child care down to half and then you’ll have your own money plus extra time. He’ll be traveling so it’s pretty much up to you

1 Like

My husband makes 2 different amounts per hour during the day. 16 first 4.5 hours and 17.85 last 4 hours. And we struggle. My Bill’s are only cable/wifi, phones,water and electric. Plus groceries. We have 3 kids and I wish I could work!

1 Like

I can understand where he comes from but 20an hour is not that much so I would wait and see how it goes or if he even likes it and then make a budget and figure it outďżź

Whats best for you and the family? That’s the biggest question. Not about what you or him wants but what would be best for you both and the kids.

weigh your options. It may not pay to work if you have to pay for childcare, and 14 bucks an hour isn’t much when taxes are being taken out. But he should have discussed this with you first. Is his job that much more hourly that you can stay home?

Um I make more than 20 an Hour and dont feel its enough to support 2 kids. How can you support 4 for 20 an hour? I guess it depends on your circumstances. I’d love to stay at home but not unless I’m able to do so comfortably. I’d say do a budget with only his income vs both your incomes and see what the difference is and what you can do with that money and if it’s worth not being with your kids.

5 Likes

$20 an hour isn’t enough to live on FYI. We’re a fam of 4

3 Likes

If you have someone u trust watching your kids, stay at work. I stay home with mine, day care didn’t work well for us and I have 2 under 2. My work would have me back if I needed it so we have that if something should happen with his job. Being a SAHM is exhausting! You literally NEVER clock out. All things to consider.

I quit my job because husbands changed his hours so our night shifts overlapped I didn’t think about nanny’s or babysitters and have spent so long trying to find another job that suits and I resent my husband for it. I would keep your job both of you can find away to make it work there are a lot more options for chidcare now.

Since you two don’t talk things over don’t leave your job you may need it

3 Likes

Don’t quit. 🤷
That was a crappy thing to do to you.

1 Like

20 dollars an hour for 4 kids isnt much at all. his judgement is off.

7 Likes

some people are just selfish, and always want their way. Do NOT quit.

1 Like

You were both making MORE together… $14 (you) + $14 (him) = $28… and now the family is only making $20hr? Sounds like a dumb move for the family? That’s an extra $320 a week LESS!!! $1280 LESS A MONTH!! wow!! That’s a mortgage payment… that’s ALLOT of money you BOTH are Losing because he wants the prestige of a $20hr a job. I would NOT do it!

4 Likes

$20 is not enough to live plus him travel for work…how and what job only pays $20 an hour to travel. What about the travel portion how does that work out? Any extra pay for that? No keep your job.

1 Like

$20 isn’t even close to keeping an entire household afloat and 4 kids. My boyfriend makes almost $30 an hour and I’m making almost $20 and we struggle with just 1 kid.

3 Likes

Don’t quit he was the one who didn’t go over his job with you. $20 an hour is decent pay but not enough with multiple kids. Id tell him srry I am not quiting my job just because you couldn’t discuss this with me before you made a decision as I’d like to keep my job to earn money of my own we can get a babysitter. All I got to say is even if it was my husband I wouldn’t quit my job my dad raised me to not rely on a man for all the money and all that. Do what you think is best…

2 Likes

If you want to work, keep working. I wouldn’t quit.

1 Like

Keep your job. Advise him he doesn’t own you and that you do things together. He’s not a husband if he doesn’t include you x

1 Like

I wish my husband would do this, I’d jump on it in a heartbeat, but everyone is different, and what I wish for isn’t for everyone. Talk to him about keeping your job and both of you working if it bothers you.

2 Likes

Stephen Papagno not rudely judging but the amount some of these people make and have 3-4 kids omg! 1 is a lot with only $20 per hour!! That’s nothing these days!!

Keep your job!!!

Find a sitter, keep your job. 20 an hour is not much for 4 kids. He obviously, doesn’t do math.

2 Likes