My husband wants to get his own apartment...advice?

Has anyones husbands asked them to live apart? My husband and I do love eachother but we have been married for 20 years and he told me he wanted an apartment so he can have his own place…I dont think he is seeing someone else…but at the same time idk how i feel about this…

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Take the opportunity to get yourself one too! Make it a girl cave :heart_eyes::heart_eyes:

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Do you have a basement? Tell him make it a man cave!

I feel this all the time! It’s hard living with people! :joy:

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I personally would never be able to say yes to this. If he wants his own place, he wants a space without you…but why???

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Just give him his own bedroom. Might helo for space

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Nope sorry! Marriage is forever…he knew he would be living with you for the rest if his life once he said I do. If he gets his own place may as well break up or have an open relationship…imo

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I’m single because I couldn’t live with someone! I have many friends in relationships/long term yet don’t live together! We all need space and a day off… Talk about being able to give each other that! No drama…on the understanding that he’s open and honest, no secrets ect! Just peace and quiet! You also have to factor in finances…

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Sorry but if he feels that way then it’s time for either marriage counseling or divorce. My husband and I are very different and he goes and does his own thing (camping, hunting, etc.) and he works a lot but he’s always happy to see me at home! I could not fathom this nor would I tolerate it. He could do a man cave attached to the house or in a storage building etc. wanting his own APARTMENT means he’s wanting to cheat. :triangular_flag_on_post:

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A Realman husband would Never leave his wife add a room he can have his own space

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Let him, but, don’t them back into your life. See you!

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If he needs an apartment by himself then you better believe something up

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if my husband ever said this to me i would tell him go right ahead but don’t come back :blush::blush::blush:

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Tell him to get a man shed in the garden.

Been with my husband 10yrs and I might joke about having my own place that’s quiet, spotless and have no mom or wife duties and no animals to take care of but I’d never do it and we could never live apart.

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That’s nuts if he loves you he wouldn’t want a separate place from you I can see like a guy’s weekend or something like that but not his own apartment

Growing up my friends dad made a studio like apartment in their garage and he pretty much lived in there. He would occasionally let us have sleep overs in it. Her parents are still together and happy 20 something years later.

I’d say find out his reasons and go from there :smiling_face:

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36 years we have our own bedroom.

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If he truly loved you, he wouldnt wanna live away from you

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Sure let him have his own place and a divorce too

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Yea man cave or separate bedrooms I could understand but not that.

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He’s totally seeing someone else!

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I’d be having a serious discussion with him about his reasons as well as a discussion about any issues you both have within your marriage before coming to a conclusion. Ask the hard questions. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Good luck with this.

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You want the apartment… you get served divorce papers. :woman_shrugging:t2: That’s just not how marriage works and don’t let him convince you otherwise. Be on alert for a side chick too… Hope you do what’s best for YOU!

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I understand different beds or bedrooms for a “man cave” etc. but a full on apartment…

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That’s fine, start packing & say, ‘When we moving?’

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My dad did this to my mum. He got his own place and we could “stay” there. About a month later, they were split up and a few weeks after that, he was introducing me to his new gf.

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Thts a way to get out of the relationship :cry:

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I don’t know… I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and I feel like the moment we want to live apart is the moment we probably should just not be together any more. That sounds super depressing to me.

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Something is definitely up

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Tell him to get a He Shed and then he has his own place but a whole apartment… No Way unless he is seeing someone else!

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After 20 years that’s not normal. After a couple years it would be weird but more understandable because some people really like their own space and many couples live apart while fully committed to each other but to suddenly after 20 years want his own place? No he wants space to do something you wouldn’t be ok with. He may not be cheating now but he may plan to or he may have a substance abuse problem he’s hid from you but wants to indulge he may be getting involved in a number of things that don’t involve another woman but that you wouldn’t approve of. Something is definitely up though. I’d tell him sure but I need the key and to be able to come over any time I want and then see what he says and go from there.

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Ummmmm …… would not happen with me

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See ya later don’t come back

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Seeing someone else for sure…

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I mean living with your own space for your own stuff be cool. But the point of being married normally is live together etc.

If my partner asked to live apart I’d be asking for a divorce myself.

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Something fishy let him have it but be cautious mbe his seeing someone or want to separate

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hes deff seeing someone else

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Huge red flag… time to become your best FBI agent when it comes to him

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Y’all want to normalize stuff that SHOULDN’T BE normalized. If my husband ever said this to me, we’d be splitting up. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married. So many marriages fail and stray from what marriage is ACTUALLY supposed to be.

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I know two couples who are married and live separately. The one couple each had a house close to their work they live separately all week and come together on week ends. The other couple love each other but struggled occupying the same space. They were married over 25 years and he got a little Casita of his own. They got together for dinner and did everything together.

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That’s a no for me. All in or all out.

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Wow, just wow. Either your married and live together, or you get divorced date and live apart.

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My husbands ex wife wanted to get her own place with his daughters to “save the marriage”. My husband told her “that’s not marriage if you want to go that’s it, we will get a divorce.” Turns out she was trying to test the waters with someone she was talking to online. He found all these lingerie photos of her on the computer, it was very messy.
:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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I would create a man cave for him. Let him go in there and spend alone time each day. One rule… you must never go in it. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: That gives him alone time and space… it also saves y’all a bunch of money.

Sounds like a silent break up

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Yeah, he’s either seeing someone or he’s thinking of an escape. It’s definitely normal to want your own space but to actually like get a whole separate living quarters is kind of strange, especially after 20 years.

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Been married 23 years I can’t sleep if my husband isn’t home and my husband says he can’t sleep if I’m not home

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Get the divorce papers ready… he is trying to ease you into it gently… please dont be naive…

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Own room or space yes, own apartment? He might as well just tell you he wants a divorce :woman_shrugging:

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We have been married 63 years and no way would we want to live separately. What is his problem??

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That’s a red flag. Something is definitely up

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Let him, get your own bank account, file and move on. If he wants a bachelor pad, go for it in the true sense.

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I tell my husband all the time I want my own place lol I don’t think I’d actually do it but the thought of being alone and quiet, no one needing me, not having to worry about cooking and all my mom and wife duties sounds so inviting!!!

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How about a man cave? Like a she shed but for a pool table, tv, football games, grilling, etc

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Red flag for sure! :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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He’s trying to let you down easy

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We’ve been together 8 years and I have my own studio apartment. One’s own space and individualism is good soul stuff! Sometimes I wonder why is better this way but it always is a good feeling to come to my very own space!!

Ask him if just moving to another bedroom would work . I don’t think it’s normal that he wants out of the house altogether unless he wants out of the relationship . Come out and just ask him - you may already know the answer .

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He just wants to leave you and can’t find a way to end the relationship.

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After 20 years I believe he is cheating

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Oh heck no. He’s wanting freedom like a single man I’d say. He wants his cake and to eat it too. No thanks

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This is his way of wanting to leave. Pay attention something is definitely not right.

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If my husband wanted his own place after 20 years. I would give it to him along with divorce papers.

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Plant a big red flag in your front yard

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I wouldnt be quick to doubt. It seems like something’s up

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We have been married 66 years, and there is no way we would want to live apart.

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He’s seeing someone else. I’d separate or divorce and move on.

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Sounds like he wants to be a wusband.

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You think he’s not cheating but he probably is. He probably wouldn’t even give you his address

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Oh no no.

Something is up for sure.

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Lol. I’ve heard of separate rooms and partners who live apart bc of work situations ( ones career takes them across country or something ) but living in separate apartments bc you need space ? Seems a bit like he’s got someone else

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: nope he has another woman in the picture :camera_flash:

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Have you had a talk to him for why he needs his own space? Are there young kids involved?? But after 20 years why now? An honest conversation needs to be had.

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This sounds like perfect relationship to me :rofl::rofl:

Having your own space is needed, like a man cave, craft/hobby room, garage etc. Heck, even separate bedrooms and separate vacations are ok… but a whole apartment? Wtf?
If my husband didn’t want to be in the same house as me, I’d be rethinking my entire marriage.

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I’m sorry but wouldn’t work for me. If u need to be that apart from me then we can be all the way apart.

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he can have his own space when it’s time to be put in his casket :coffin:

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Get him a nice big shed and make it his man cave. Exclusively for him!! Or if you have a finished basement let him make his man cave there.

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Wtf yeah that’d weird and answer would be no get over it

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Tell him once he leaves no coming back stay gone

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I’ve been married 23 years, if my hubs asked me this I would be very upset. This is NOT the path of a happy successful marriage. This would put serious doubts in my head about my husband and our relationship. And it wouldn’t really matter if he asked and I said no or not…… those troublesome thoughts would already be there. I’d forever doubt him.

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Apartment? No. Maybe convert the garage or build an apartment onto the house etc… but that’s basically being separated if he gets his own place. I would be asking the big questions.

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If you happen to have a garage or a basement suggest renovations for a space just for him. If that doesn’t work just let him go and move on with your life

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Separate rooms I understand. Separate homes? Might as well divorce. :person_shrugging:

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Red flag! Something is definitely up. Getting his own apartment means he wants seperate lives like taking a break from the relationship. That’s way too much space between u two

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Now give the real story why he would wanna move out?! Only one sided story here

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You suffer from the biggest reason for divorce. Lack of communication. What’s his reason for wanting space? You need to communicate your concerns and find out why he’s leaving.

What in the actual heck. I would ask him what has happened in 20 YEARS that has prompted this? Does he want the basement or a office so he can have privacy? I think it’s odd . Maybe try counseling and see what’s going on.

Me & my x were together28 years & the day he said he wanted to live alone I had a Uhaul ready and I helped him pack!! Best decision EVER what a waste of years I feel at times but YES HE WAS CHEATING AND NOW IM LIVING MY BEST LIFE IN A GREAT RELATIONSHIP & MUCH HAPPIER!! MY POINT IS JUST THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A REASON AND NEVER WHAT U WANT TO THINK!:person_facepalming::neutral_face:

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Start going to the gym, ask for a new car, cartier watch & a trip to paris. He can have his place. Get a key for it.

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I would say sure and don’t come back. That is ridiculous

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After 20 years? Give him the freedom along with divorce papers. Something isn’t right

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Ive been married 24 years and my husband would NEVER allow those words to leave his mouth. Tell him go get his own apartment, and life

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Get a “man cave” built outside your house. Something else is up if he really wants to be further away from you where you can’t get to. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I would want to live apart from my husband too and I would still be faithful

Bye :wave: and don’t forget to sign that paper I filed :wink: (your own room, maybe turn the basement into a man cave but your own apartment…:person_facepalming::joy::joy::joy:)

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Ya get your ducks in a row hun

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Put a dog house out back and tell him there’s his space

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Been with my husband 20 years too and we wouldn’t even dream of even sleeping in seperate rooms let alone a whole other residence