My husband says he will hunt during Thanksgiving and I will not make him choose between family and friends. Am I overreacting?We have been married for 12 years and we have 7 year old twins. Prior to marriage and during our “childless” years, we always hunted together and it was so much fun. During the past 7 years, I have begged him for us to go together. But, he always went to friends to hunt while I stayed home with kids. This week, the conversation comes up and I tell him I’m tired of the same disregard every year. I’m also not using my vacation for his guy time. I said figure out how to get me there…now, I’m controlling his life and choosing his friends. HELP
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband wants to hunt without me on Thanksgiving: Advice?re
Something is going on you know
Don’t take off and he will have no choice next year to I close you
He don’t want you there coz that’s the holiday he can’t get out of spending with his other wife and family
Red flag! He don’t want you there for some reason!
Growing up, that’s what the men did. Went hunting early in the mornings and came home to eat Thanksgiving dinner. It was our norm. Do you go any other time with him during hunting season?
If you’re not allowed at the hunting club, there’s probably a reason…… I’d show up on my own & find out what that reason was.
Life with kids, maybe he just needs guy time. Maybe the guys don’t want any women along, most men go on hunting or fishing trips with the bros while the wives stay home.
Hopefully your instincs are rolling. Something is up
I’d say there’s an entire different side to this. My SO would never choose something else over a holiday he could spend with us. Now, on the weekends he does spend his time hunting and I stay home. However, he always offers to take any of our kids that want to join.
Go some were you want to go take kids to a families house to have thanksgiving then use your bad a were you want this is not a marriage you are a slave in waiting bad example for kids
Maybe he doesn’t trust anyone with his kids, seems like after kids that’s when he stopped including you. May be his time to get away, so do the same and plan something for yourself, either hunting trip or something else, if he isn’t accepting of that then that’s when I would see a problem.
Would you really get a divorce over that? Silly lady think about your kids first.
Um my husband goes hunting Thanksgiving morning, comes home eats then goes back. I dont see the problem. If you want to go hunting make your own arrangements and go.
Run did that stuff for 8+ years. Run!
My boyfriend hunts every year as tradition. I don’t bother him about it because its the one time a year he can do something he really enjoys. I wouldn’t think too much of it but if he wont take you too, that sounds off. My bf would take me if I asked.
Most men would love their woman to go hunt with them.
Lol so, speaking from experience
If your not thought of or considered every time your man leaves, he’s up to something
It’s absolutely healthy and normal to spend time with family and friends without your spouse but if it’s an every year, all the time thing sorry to say your not his #1
So let him go hunting this Thanksgiving and then you go next Thanksgiving without him so he has to stay with the kids
I love my woman to go with ne we are best friends it awesome
I feel like there’s more going on. I’d follow him to said hunting party. But im mental, so maybe don’t listen? or do.
Can there be a compromise like say he get up at 6 or leaves the night before to go hunting & is home for thanksgiving dinner ? Have you thought about doing every other thanksgiving skipping the “holiday” to go hunting together
Sounds like you’re settling up a healthy boundary. Why should you have to automatically stay at home with the kids. Plan something for yourself during that time.
my husband and I always hunt together even with kids. We will bring them to our camp he will get the early morning hunts while I’m in bed with the kids and I get the late evening hunts while he is at camp with them. I’m even 25 weeks pregnant now and due thanksgiving week and he is still trying to figure out how I can hunt with him before I go into labor. trust me if he wants a way he will find it. There’s no excuse he is just throwing off on you and turning it around on you. Time to get the game cameras out and cold trail his a$$.
In my relationship holidays are spent together not separate unless a work related matter comes up. So ya him ditching you every single Thanksgiving is messed up when he knows you want to go to smh.
Be with someone who wants to be with you!
Sorry is the guy not allowed to have guy time without the assumption he’s out cheating y’all are so fast to instantly jump to someone’s cheating is kinda ridiculous
Is there other days while the kids are in school you can go hunt together?
I don’t see an issue
Sorry but family comes before friends. Yes you can have fun with friend every now and then but prioritizing them more then you is a big no!
Plan a girls weekend away! Payback is better than bitching…
Is he going to be gone alllllllllllllll day?
Is it a traditional thing ? Could he not start letting the twins go to learn about were their food comes from ? Sorry but he’s a family man now and thanks giving is family time, not all about his wants needs now…
Do you go with him any other time? Honestly, I believe guys need guy time. I have gone with my husband hunting, but truly believe in him being allowed out with the guys hunting without me. When our boys got older, they started going with him…but when they were younger, I stayed with them
People need time to themselves. I get you miss it but honestly this isint healthy. The way you’re saying, you sound pretty harsh.
Maybe he jsut what’s guy time? We are avid hunters and we go together but when our kids were young I stayed home with them and he went hunting with his dad and cousins. I mean I understand wanting to go with him but I wouldn’t automatically go to he’s cheating like work if these chicks are saying. Maybe he just needs some down time.
I’d be sure he is REALLY hunting!! Sounds fishy
Go hunting with your friends. No one said you have to stay home
Sounds like it’d an annual guys trip.
Plan a girls trip
If it was me I would plan my own hunting trip either by myself or with some girlfriends. If he doesn’t want to listen to your feelings then do your own thing and plan your own thing and maybe he might change his mind
His children too tell him your going hunting he can stay . That’s crap not happening ! Y’all are married not just your children wow and more wow . Just expected to like it not happening wow and more wow.
Tell him to take the kids too you deserve a vacation lol
I would sit him down and talk to him. Express how you feel it’s not right that it’s automatically you that stays home with kids and he gets to go do something that you used to do with him too.
You had kids together, it takes 2. And it takes 2 to raise them as well.
Well I mean it doesn’t necessarily take 2, if he wants I’d tell him- it could just be one raising him.
I am just wondering why he would go over thanksgiving? Maybe go a different weekend
I totally see both sides. I feel Thanksgiving should be more of a family deal. He can hunt with his buddies another time
And it’s fucking thanksgiving.
Spending time together is important but so is spending time apart.
Why don’t you hinting with your friends. You’d it. Need jinx and why can’t he take the kids hunting with him
Not enough info here, but I’ll give it a shot. How long will he be gone…take that same amount of time for yourself…make him stay with kids while you do your thing. Cook nothing if he expects to come home to a huge meal. Go to someone else’s house for dinner, or take kids to a restaurant. Sounds like this relationship has been in a downward spiral for awhile. DO YOU TIME TOO!!!
Hunting around Thanksgiving is for several days. Why can’t he go one day with the guys, one day with you and still be home for Thanksgiving day ? It’s called compromise
SMH. Wow! He’s being disrespectful and uncaring of your needs. Sorry to hear. Men think we don’t ever need a break. Much less that you’d like that break alone with them. Make a plea that you feel y’all are drifting apart and would like some time alone with him. Maybe he’ll be understanding that way. If he miss’ you as much as you miss him. If he still refuses tell him it’s on the rocks and he needs to step up to keeping you in his life. Otherwise he’s going to start having More bills to pay in the name of alimony and child support.
I would def tell him it’s YOUR time. For 7 years you’ve stayed home and been with the kids while he’s been doing what he wants and he’s got a problem!?
You’re right. It’s not right, fair, or even beneficial for you to spend your vacation simply so he can have fun without you. ESPECIALLY WITH IT BEING 7YEARS.
This year, I would plan my own thing and tell him he either has to take the kids or he can’t go. If that doesn’t work, I wouldn’t do shit for him for the year. No time off for him, no birthday celebrations and shit, NOTHING. Hell, I’d probably do it anyway, take 7 years of your vacation life back and he can’t say SHIT.
(Yes, I’m probably just pregnant and hormonal, Idk why this made me so mad lol)
Sund like you’re just being a clucking hen let him have friends wtf smdh
There is no me time as a parent there’s no boys night as a parent or married ! You need down time or me time you need to be single.
As a man , I speak for myself …
We do need that time with friends alone , SO HE IS RIGHT .
Ma’am are you serious? Let that man go hunting with his friends he has to live with you every single day of his life and you’re wondering why he doesn’t want to go hunting with you. Think about it maam is not difficult￼. It’s his chance to get away from you and have some manly time with his friends. And if he’s done it every year and you sat at home why would this year be any different.￼ Ma’am don’t unnecessarily hound and nag that man about something that’s been continued for years and years and all of a sudden you wanted to change and you want to get in your feelings about why he is against it… Stop feeling sorry for yourself ma’am you’ve allowed this to continue the way it has been so leave it that way
I’m sorry but you two are married with children both your children! Those plans change once you both brought children into your lives, priorities change! I don’t understand this whole concept of he needs guy time or you need time. If that’s so then make time for each other. Not time to be alone bc he needs time away from the family or vice versa. It’s both your families you both chose.
Wow that’s rude. Time to plan your own trip that weekend. Send to kids to the grands and have yourself some fun.
So when you both go hunting where will the children be during Thanksgiving? Are they going with you both as well?
I have lived this for 48 years my husband hunts every year on Thanksgiving
Realize that there are things that us men just like to do without women, and hunting is one of them. Plan something with your girlfriends and let him be.
The best hunting days we ever had was with our Grandkids.
Well on thanksgiving, neither of you should be out hunting. You should be spending it with your kids. Period.
If he can’t commit to basic expectations ( home with family on holidays) I’d see to it he doesn’t have family to come home to. The only exception would be work
Let him go!!!
So many of our friends go on this day.
If he gets a buck
It will feed your family alot!!!
Thanksgiving is a big day for hunters
Hummm that’s a red flag. Or you take a vacation with friends.
Leave him with the children.
Let him go and go on a ladies trip Vegas here you come
Let him go hunting with his friends! Calm tf down. Not that serious!
Find a babysitter and tag along YOU make it happen mama…
Maybe start a new tradition a different time yall go together and let him have his guy time on Thanksgiving. I totally understand your side, but u want him to choose you not to be forced. Everyone needs their own time. While he’s gone you plan a fun tradition w your friends as well so u both look forward to something. My family leave by noon on Thanksgiving bc it’s a huge deal for hunters so ladies spend the night doing their own thing n all guys go hunting.
Tell him your going hunting with your friends and see how he reacts!
We go on a 10 day hunting trip together over thanksgiving every year. We have 7 kids and this is our couple time. My parents come and stay for two weeks with the grandkids. Time as a couple is super important! If hunting over thanksgiving is super important to you, can you get someone to watch the kids? I love going out with him and his guy buddies. Or maybe you can plan a time to go just the two of you Near that time
I hate how everyone is saying let him go, let him go and giving you such a hard time.
Wow. You deserve time off as well, not just him. if it was something you did before then it should have continued. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean your life stops.
I’m sorry but your husband is an Ah and isn’t considering your needs as well. Your not being over bearing or anything especially since this has been something that has been happening continuously.
If you have been forced to stay home with kids for the past 7 years and he gets to go but suddenly he has issue with you going…I think that’s some kind of weird.Were you thinking of bringing the twins? Is that the real issue because its hard to hunt with noisy munchkins? Without all the info this is hard to give a true opinion on it.
Yall are ridiculous. Thanksgiving is a family holiday, one that obviously they used to spend together and enjoy. Now that they have kids, it’s his “break” from the family to hang with the guys. Why was it something they shared prior too, and now its his time his choice? Pick a different damn weekend and spend time with your family, or make it equal for all FOUR of you. Grow up, you chose to start a family.
Yuck. Tell him to figure out childcare so you can go do your own thing.
My uncle went every year. They were married 30+ years. I never remember my aunt going…
Maybe alternate days? The season isn’t just one day
If he used to regularly take you hunting and now all of a sudden he doesn’t and is making that big of a deal out of it he may not actually be going hunting. Or someone else may be going with him instead
Tell him “yes,I am” or you can stay home with the kids, and I go hunting with the guys
I think its ok if he went in the morning then came home to celebrate the holiday with his family, but being gone the entire day seems a lil much since its been every yr. Does his friends spend the entire day away from their families too?
Wow didn’t realize so many people hunted on Thanksgiving!
When he gets back take your vacation and leave him with the kids then you get a break from all three of your children the twins and the man child.
The whole day or a few hours? The whole day no. Till like 1pm sure.
Wow these comments some of you are controlling asf .
You’re not flirtatious and fun anymore you’re comfortable like an old shoe he knows you’ll be there when he gets home he don’t have to try to impress you anymore’s , the piazzas ￼is gone￼ he wants new and exciting friends are more fun he twists everything you say and he’s always right and you’re just a motherly nag. SORRY ￼
Family over friends 100% it’s not like you ask for it to be every dang time it’s this one time all the other times he got his way. Stick to your word or he will never take you seriously. Don’t be the wife that kisses there man’s feet and does as he pleases just because it hurts his feelings
Your husband sounds like a rhymes with bunt. (Too many times in fb jail. )
There’s lots of step dad’s who’d love to have thanksgiving dinners with u and ur kids. Don’t forget that
I understand being mad but coming at him like that and stomping you feet trying to have it your way isn’t going to get you anywhere
Pray he will be successful in first hours and be thankful you aren’t the prey!
Tell him that you are sick and tired of his selfish behavior. He gets to take care of his children while you go off with your friends
Tit for tat!!!
As an avid deer hunter, in the area I hunt, Thanksgiving is usually prime deer hunting. Not sure how far away he is hunting from your home or what the accomodations are. You need to see if he can hunt a split. Maybe hunt before Thanksgiving day, go home for Thanksgiving and return after Thanksgiving day.
Leave him alone while he’s out with his girlfriend
Ditching his family on a holiday for friends. When he signed up to be a husband and father he signed up to put his family first. If you can’t go but use to go then I would feel like he is hiding something or really not hunting. Throw the whole man away. Something isn’t right with him.
Book a girls holiday.
My dad always goes early in the morning then makes sure he is home for thanksgiving dinner
Maybe the dudes side chick now goes with him and gives more than a “helping hand”
Okay then it’s time for you to take a vacation with some girlfriends or by yourself I would take a week and tell him from now on he takes his little vacation and you’ll take yours but you would rather spend it with him hunting but since he doesn’t want you around you’re taking a vacation without him!