My husband wants to spend most of Mother's Day with his mom...advice?

What are yoru mothers day plans? My husband wants to go see his mom omost of the day while leaving me home with the kids…he said its MOTHERS DAY after all…

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My fiance always says it’s my day too and I have kids so I get to decide what we do that day. If I don’t wanna visit parents we don’t. It’s what I wanna do. And for people saying you have kids do something with them. The girl wanted one day to feel appreciated.

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These comments are so ridiculous! When people have young children they should get priority on Mother’s Day! He is the person who made HER a mother and she has his children he should be worshipping the ground she walks on and if she wants to go see his mother then go for it if not go another day tell her happy Mother’s Day and you will spend another day together because that is absolutely ridiculous and women,wives,and mothers DESERVE better !

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That’s fine as long as he’s okay with you going to spend the whole day with your dad on fathers day while he takes care of the kids without any help. Fair is fair.

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Go with him… that is HIS mother, you’re not his mother, you’re your kids mom

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My boyfriend (of 4 years) went to his Mother’s and I went to mine it’s just what works for us as a couple

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Wow some of these comments do not pass the vibe check. Anyhow, I’m a mother and a MIL and I do not expect my married son to leave my DIL with their boys to come see me on Mother’s Day. That’s insane to me and would be super inconsiderate to his wife. Now if one year we decided to do a brunch together or something like that which every person agreed upon then that’s great but other than that I expect my married son will be with his wife and boys.

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We spend most of the day at Grandmas house as a family.

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It’s not a competition. Him spending mothers day with his mother doesn’t mean he loves you less, just like spending fathers day with your father doesn’t mean you love your man less. We have a limited amount of time to celebrate our parents. Give them their flowers while they are here with us.

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Wow you have your kids do something special with them.

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He should go with your children to buy a small gift for you and you can all go give his mom a gift

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It won’t last forever she is older let him spend his time with her .You spend your time with your children let him have his momma once a year.

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My partner took the kids to grandma’s so this mumma could get some rest :joy: all these comments making me feel like a crap mum for wanting a break bahahha

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Umm these comments give me the ick. It’s Mother’s Day, he should take the kids to visit his mom and allow you to have a day to yourself to relax and do you. Or you all go together and celebrate his mother and you together. But to just ignore you and what you’d like is not okay… at least it wouldn’t fly in my household, and his mother would not be okay with it either. She was the first one to wish me a happy Mother’s Day

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These comments are insane. :joy: calling or visiting grandparents is cool but to dedicate the entire day to them when you have a wife and kids at home is icky.

Everyone saying you only have one mom, blah blah… people shouldn’t need a day to be nice to their parents. If you’re with someone and you made babies with them it’s their day over their parents. That includes the wife’s mom/dad.

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You are mum to your kids. His mum is his mum. He visits and spends time with her on Mothers Day while you spend time with your kids on Mother’s Day.

He isn’t ignoring you. His your husband and she is his mother. He is also not responsible for sorting your Mother’s Day. Ask your children what they would like to do.

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So? It’s Mother’s Day, not wife day and That’s his mother. I’m sure when you are older and your kids are grown you would want them to come see you?

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I don’t get why everyone can’t celebrate together.

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If a man makes you a mother then guess what it’s your day not his mothers. His mother got every Mother’s Day with him as a child… make it make sense when my son has children if that his choice I swear to the dear lord he better stay with his wife and enjoy her day with her not me. Won’t make me any less important to him but I’ll never be more important then his wife and that how it truly should be that’s the family he’s created I do not come before his wife or kids.

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What’s wrong with that? He is very lucky to still have his mom. I wish i still had my mom around. To me it’s just another day. You shouldn’t be treated differently just because it’s mother’s day. Everyone shoulld feel appreciated everyday. My kids show how much they love me every single day. It could be a phone call, a 20 dollar bill for gas. A walk on the beach with our dogs.

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All of you should have went with him. But it’s a little sketchy so I would call her and casually find out if he was over there and how long he was over there.

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When I was a child we did something special for my mum in the morning and then we all went to my grandparents to be with my granny. My mum has passed but if she were here it would be the same thing.

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As his should… it’s his mother. Spend the day with the kids who made you a mother. She will only be here for a limited amount of a time and he can spend Mother’s Day with you n his kids after that.

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Would it not be possible that you all visit his mum that day?
That way he sees her and you’re not just left home all day considering you’re also a mum so it’s your day too

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And are you not a mother?:pensive: some men seriously…

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It’s his Mother for Gods sake and she may not be around for long go and spend a great day together and enjoy your day.

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The day should be spent equally between wife and mother if that is possible that would be the more common sense practice would it not???

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We spent an hour at the Cemetery putting flowers on my moms and 3 others Graves, went to bring a gift and hangout with his mom for a couple hours and then my hubby and kids took me to dinner. When we got home I got gifts and we watched movies… we were together the whole day.

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I don’t understand why families can’t celebrate together. Why not invite both parents over to celebrate all moms? You don’t throw your parents away when you have children of your own.

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Our moms aren’t here for long! Spending as much time as we can with them is priority aswell, I would expect you to go see your mom too if she is in your life, if she is not here on earth still go visit her if you can!

Do you have to stay home with the kids? I’m sure they will love to just go for a walk down the street or around the block, pick some flowers and leaves take them home and make a pressed bouquet. Do some baking together, set up the lounge nice and cosy and watch a movie. Or if you just want a break, get him to take the kids with him, pop a bottle or two and sip on some champagne :champagne: play your fave music and pamper yourself. :bouquet::cherry_blossom::nail_care:t4::lipstick::bathtub::peach:

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Its Mother’s Day. He should be with his mom… I would not expect my husband to stay with me and the kids. I am his wife, not his mom…

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You should have posted this in a moms group you would’ve received so much more support :pleading_face::heart: this page is full of bullies. Ignore them your feelings are valid! He should’ve split the day or taken the kids.

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Go do your own thing with your kids, the people who made you a mother.

My question is why aren’t you going to see your mother

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I don’t know why he can’t celebrate both. He doesn’t have to go ALL Day.

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Makes sense
As your not his mom
So it’s reasonable for him to spend time with his mom
The same way you would like to spend time with your mom
It’s one day of the year

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My husband always goes the day before to see his mother and he spends Mother’s day with me . If you’re father is around do the same on Father’s day .

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Ummm go with him? Or split the day.

You only get one mom, plus, statistically speaking it’s likely you’ll both divorce.

We go see both of our mothers on mothets day! Go with him

Take your kids and go spend time with your mom, or let your kids spend it with their mum.
Life’s simple don’t complicate it.

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He won’t always have his mama….

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Well that’s his mother ur not his mother

He can go if he takes the kids only

If he spend the whole day then that’s not good. Father’s Day is coming up. You go spend it with your father. And leave the kids with him. At least invite you to there

Why doesn’t he take yawls kids with him and give you a break at the same time

Wow. We visit Grandma’s on mother’s day not the whole day.

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Mine, even after 57 years and 3 kids, won’t even wish me happy Mother’s Day, says I’m not his mother. A**.

Have her over for the day simples🤷‍♀️

Would it had been an issue if he took the kids? She sounds upset about the day with the kids as well.

My husband and boys cooked a meal for me and my MIL. We ate as a big family. Grandma’s are just as important.

You can go tell that man that we said he needs to get his priorities straight. He is not a child anymore. Why can’t you and the children go with him?

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Why can’t y’all join in Mother’s day together yes he is his mother but you are the MOTHER OF his children!!!

<3 He made YOU a mother! It is so odd to me when men think they don’t have to celebrate the person they literally got pregnant with little humans. He celebrates his mother because she gave him life but he equally helped create your kids! A man with that mindset is ignorant. I wouldn’t get mad though. Father’s day is rolling around, get up extra early and leave him with the kids ALL DAY! Go to dinner, shop, and enjoy the peace! Consider that your mothers day present from him.

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I wouldn’t mind that at all, however, remember that on Father’s Day!!

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Ok? It’s mother’s day, not jealous wife’s day

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She is his mom. I’m so different on this. I wanted my fiancé to spend the day with his mom. I don’t have a mom and I would give anything to spend the day with her. Our moms aren’t here forever so I am one that believes we spend with our moms not our wives.

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Ok and? My husband went on a mini trip with his mom for her grad that lasted past Mother’s Day. That IS his mom. You’re not. I’m sorry but I don’t see anything wrong with his request as long as he tells you happy Mother’s Day.

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They should celebrate with both moms……make a few sides,throw a London broil on the grill and spend time with both Mom’s……both my Mother in law and my Mom are gone……I would have loved to spend the day with them.

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His Mother isn’t going to be here forever. He should spend time with her while he still can. You spend time with the ones that made you a Mom.

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All the women saying he should spend time with his mom, I get it. My question is why didn’t he take the kids to give his wife a break on the day she’s supposed to be celebrated and have a break? If your the majority parent and always with the kids, it’s not awesome spending the day like every single day of your life. There’s a reason that restaurants bank on mothers day brunch and golf courses bank on fathers day outings… she still has to parent and he gets time away on his own.

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I spent the day at home with my kiddos.
Playing outside, doing laundry, cleaning etc etc :slight_smile:
We didn’t do anything special, nor do we ever. It’s really just another day for us around here. No point for gifts or anything like that. He gets me things year round, so we don’t really like to do the traditional gifts on the holidays for one another.
Just how we do it.

I think if you all did something with his mom and you to make it a special memorable mother’s day with her, her grandkids, her daughter in law, son and then for you as a mom and your kids and your husband.
It definitely could have been a great day, aside from leaving you at home.

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Parks, hiking places, movies, his birthday comes up make plans to do something with kids leave him out nicely

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I would have asked him to go! My husband and our kids went to see my mother in law. My mom and dad came down to see us. You have to have communication I guess he doesn’t understand your a mother as well- time for a talk with him. Good luck

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I think you’re going out for a spa day on Father’s Day.

“Well dear, since you decided to leave me home with the children on what was supposed to be a day celebrating me, the active mother of young children; it’s only fair I return the favor. Maybe you’ll get it right next time, but until then what you give is what you will get.”

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Well, she is HIS mother.

You are his CHILDRENS mother. He made you a mother, and yes he should spend some time with you, but he should also be with his mom.

I didn’t get a happy Mother’s day from my kids’ dad, until I reminded him what day it was. My kids’ and step kids told me happy mother’s day and that’s all that mattered to me. They love me.

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My opinion:
I have a 16 year old and a 12 year old. My Mom has no kids at home (I’m the baby). She has 18+ Mother’s days, it’s my turn! Not saying I don’t get her a gift and call her, etc, but it’s my turn. And when my kids have their kids one day, I will remember this! You are the current Mom. He needs to celebrate you bc you gave birth to his kids. He can see his Mom the day before

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I’m lucky enough to have great in laws so we both go to his parents. We have a tradition the men cook for all of us moms on Mother’s Day and we cook for them on Father’s Day! Maybe you could talk to him about doing something like that? That way mom can spend time with the grand kids as well!

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Honestly I wouldn’t be bothered. My husbands mom won’t be around forever. I won’t be either but he sees me everyday and he’s not the only one who made me a mom, I made me a mom too. I’d be ok with him spending the day with his mom, it doesn’t happen nearly enough. I’m content being with the people I am a mom to. My two kiddos. His mom is getting older everyday and needs him as she gets older, she needs me too. I wouldn’t be upset about it. I don’t get what the big deal is unless he’s always spending time with his mom over his wife and that’s a whole different issue.

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The morning is for me, and my brothers and their wives, then we all gather together at my mom’s to celebrate her for dinner. Idc what anyone does in their lives, but my feeling is my husband wouldn’t be a father if it wasn’t for me. So I deserve that time as a mother too. Maybe split it between Saturday and Sunday. If it bothers you, you should def communicate.

First, Mother’s Day should be everyday, treat your Mother with love and respect everyday.
Second, you’re not his Mother. He should spend sometime with her.
If you have children, and they are old enough to understand what the world perceives to be Mother’s day, then they should spend that time with you. Unless of course you need a break from them then your husband can take the children with him to see his Mother. Problem solved.

I think you should have sent the kids with him or y’all all went together, I don’t see a issue with him visiting with his mom and celebrating with her. I totally understand where you’re coming from and want one day about you. You are the mother of his kids. I’m sure when Father’s Day rolls around the red carpet better come out for him. I had a husband this way and it definitely didn’t work out. So on Father’s Day go spend it with your dad. I get the ones saying it’s his mom and she won’t be around much longer because this year was the first year without my mom, but he also chose to have children with you and start a family. It’s a very touchy situation and there’s no right or wrong answer. Your feelings are valid and you have to express those to him. Maybe he just simply doesn’t know . Is he a Mama’s boy ? 

Celebrate both of y’all. However I think the day should be geared more to you. Also note you are his wife/mother of HIS kids. Tell him that grandparents day happens once a year as well. Go celebrate grandparents on grandparents day.:woman_shrugging:t4:

I hate that the holiday has changed so much …. It use to be you celebrated ALL moms in your life .
Just a card , maybe a picture inside for them
Now it’s only the mom .
So many women that fit into your life that are a great female .
And same for Father’s Day.

i spend mothers day with my mom still to this day? my man usually comes with but if he wanted to spend with his mom we would do that also or we would each go our separate ways to our moms? you’re not HIS mom so idk why you think he has to be with you? i mean he could take the kids and leave you a peaceful day but maybe your kids wanna spend the day with you?

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Why didn’t you go to your mother’s or grandparents and spend time with them because time is at a limit because they are older and this may or could be the last one they get with them .I don’t see a problem I do see he is trying to make time for you both and that is at the upmost important at this point .

My husband and I would take the kids and spend the day with my mom, his grandma, and his mom. Then the following day we would do something special to celebrate me. Leaving you at home isn’t right, he should have taken you and the children with him.

Oh so his momma birthed his kids? It’s now his job to celebrate you. Yes go visit but the day is supposed to be yours now. Who IS supposed to do you then? Lol my ole man spent his whole day with me and the kids. He’ll do what he wants to it’s your reaction to his :poop: that’s going to matter

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It is mother day. You can go along and be part of the day but truly it’s his mom day.

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I always spend part of the day with my mom and my mother-in-law because it’s their day as well as mine so we set aside half the day to spend with them and then the other half we relax at home or do something that I want to do.

We spent most the day with my husbands moms we had dinner and then I took her to go do something we just me and her. Would have seen my mom too but she was out of town but made sure to go see her yesterday and take her something. Most Mother’s Day we celebrate morning is for me around lunch if his mom and evening is my mom we make time the whole day to show them they are loved and I get my time usually breakfast in bed and good snuggles and then we all have dinner together kinda thing

As a Boy Mom of 30 yrs I’m gonna weigh in on this one, Absolutely NOT, being Honored by my children on Mother’s Day is the way THEY celebrate the Woman THEY made the Mother of My grandchildren. Coming to My House for Dinner and seeing all the cute gifts the babies made for their Momma , and a BIG Smile on her face for the Gift My son gave HER and just couldn’t wait to show Me, IS MY MOTHERS DAY. It is confirmation as HIS Mother I did a Good Job. Any Woman with expectations of being put BEFORE the Mother of Her grandchildren has serious mental issues.

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Everyone’s like…why can’t you go together, he’s entitled to go see his mom, yes, for sure those are all valid…But… why couldn’t he take the kids?! What does this mom want? I’m guessing some time to herself which is also valid and she deserves that as wells. It’s a day for ALL MOMS. We should all get to do what WE WANT.

He can go, just say, awe so sweet of you to take the kids with you to your moms… cause after all it’s Mother’s Day and you deserve the break!

Enjoy the day. My Mom is no longer on this earth. I wish she was. Empty nester with no family close by. Worked all day. Hubby got me a card and flowers. First time in 20 years. No children together. Was a pleasant day

Mothers day is over beautiful next year do a day for you the next day for her. Or just don’t leave it up to him. Wake up and go tell the week before ur gonna go.

But also it’s his mom I mean. Duhh. Don’t be jealous.

Me, my daughter and my mother all work at the same place. My daughter worked a double and I worked night shift so my mother could have the day off to enjoy. My hubs took her out to lunch for Mother’s Day from all of us and went to spend dinner with his mom. I know it wasn’t much but I know she wanted the rest as she works extremely hard.

He is right. He should also make sure your kids, if they are small, have something special planned for you.

Why don’t you and your kids go with him?

You could ask him to go, me personally I would tell him to take the kids with him and spend the day relaxing by myself

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Shoot lady, send him to his moms with the kids and take a nice quiet day to yourself and relax, or celebrate it together :heart: you’re not his mom, it’s mothers day he should celebrate his momma!

What if she wanted to go visit her mom? Why not gather everyone for lunch or dinner out etc

These comments are kind of funny on both sides
My husband didn’t even call his mom and he didn’t say happy Mother’s Day when he first saw me until later when I went downstairs and then we spent the whole day chilling on the couch with all of our kids watching fallout and we made some salmon for dinner and we texted my mother-in-law to say happy Mother’s Day and that was our day. It really wasn’t a big deal it’s another day honestly.
But my husband and I also really enjoyed doing everything together so if he were to go visit my mother-in-law in Utah, he definitely wouldn’t go without me. He would always bring me along, so I did think that was a little odd that he wouldn’t invite you or take you with or bring the kids. :woman_shrugging:t2: I’m going to assume he’s pretty close to his mom. I think spending time with both would be nice & I do think he should hv taken the kids to give you a break.
BUT- did you voice that you’d like a break? Cause men don’t just go off assumption even on holidays you need to tell them what you want & need directly

My husband, myself and my kids spent most of the morning/afternoon taking gifts and spending time with his mother, my mother and my step mom. Once we had all that done we all came home and spent time together… Who says you cant do it all?

When my mom was living, we would visit her briefly with flowers because she loved flowers. Sometimes she would go to dinner with us. When my Grandma was alive we would also take her flowers. His mom is out of state, so we send her something and call her. I always call my step mom. The rest of the day, my husband tries to make special for me, because I am the mother of his children. We would never do things separately on Mother’s day. My first husband didn’t understand why I was upset when he didn’t tell me Happy Mother’s day or do anything for me. He said “You’re Not my mom.” (Even though we had a baby) I guess it’s no wonder that marriage didn’t work. In retrospect, he was only 19 and I guess no one ever taught him to respect the mother of his child…
Maybe no one ever taught yours. Did you try explaining it to him calmly, that you are the mother of his child/children and he should respect you & celebrate you? Did you offer to go with him? You can’t expect him to not do some small thing for his mother. But you should do for both mothers & grandmothers, (even if it’s just a phone call & ordering flowers) & celebrate your motherhood also. I was always taught that a Valentines gift should be romantic, a Birthday gift should be a personal wish, and a Mother’s Day gift should always be something that makes a mom’s job easier.

So…Mother’s Day is like every other day as a mom when your kids are still young and you can only really enjoy it when your kids are adults and can celebrate you. That’s some dumb shxt.:dizzy_face:

You all spend it together. That’s what we do. Both Mom’s and me. All together. Guys cooking, kids preparing, Mom’s relaxing. Family. It’s what it’s about
Family.

Well my husband for the past two years has done something with his grandmother and nothing with me. He’s not a big fan of his mother.

I’d let him go live with her too. If she’s all that matters she can take care of him

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I think he should atleast cook you breakfast and take the kids with him so you have some time to yourself

Mother’s day is for the kids to celebrate their mother’s. Even if they are old mothers now. Tell him to tale the kids. Go visit their grandmother on mothers day and give you time to chill

My husband doesn’t do anything for me for Mother’s Day. He says, “I’m not his mother”. It used to hurt my feelings, but after 17 years I’m used to it.

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