My husband and his ex wife had their own home. The loan payments was very behind when they divorced. He took her name off the loan and refinanced it. His father is the co signer. Fast forward 10 years later My husband owes 27,000 on his home. We have been together 3 years and married 1. He will not add my name to the house. I have done an add on that cost $12,000 and I remodeled everything about another 10, 000 to bring his home more value. Also bought a $6,000 gazebo and a $8,000 building. I donât what that means since they can be moved but property taxes went up on it so it had something to do with value. He has 2 kids I have 3. We will not have any together because we are to old lol. What will this mean for my kids when I die. He wonât let me pay the house payment either. I offeredâŚI do pay half of all the other bills but actually spend more because I also buy all the food and cleaning supplies. I make more because I work 2 jobs so we can have nice things and all the repairs or remodeling is from my second job. What should I do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband will not add me to his house - Mamas Uncut
As far as Iâm aware, if youâre married it is half your house wether your name is on it or not. Unless he had you sign a pre-nup stating otherwise.
HonestlyâŚbeen there done that. In process of getting divorce and he always made sure he paid the house payment. He doesnât want you added because if he adds you and you make payments then that gives you right to his house.
Look into state laws. Iâm not on my husbandâs loan for the house but bc we are married and he sells we both have to sign
If your state has community property laws, heâs way off base.
Buy yourself a vacation property
Definitely look into the laws of your state, but if it was his house prior to your marriage, it could mean itâs separate property.
Here in Maine if you buy a house before youâre married, and no one else is on the mortgage, then you get married and divorced the house belongs to the person whose name is on the mortgage. My husband bought our house before we were married, Iâm not on it. If we got divorced he would keep the house free and clear.
You might want to talk to a lawyer.
If youâre married, everything that is his is yours whether your name is on anything or not. My husbands name is on everything because heâs the one that works & pays for everything. Usually if something happens to the spouse, the other spouse will get everything he owned anyway.
Get a new house âŚand a new husband.
Stop putting money into âhisâ property and start worrying about getting your ownâŚ
Stop putting money into âhisâ house
Never put a dime into anything unless your name is on it. Regardless if your married or not. All your doing is fixing it up an making it look nice for him. Not to mention increasing the value.
If he had it before you it is not marital property. But in NC if your married he would have to have your signature to sell.
Iowa you get automatically get what you had before marriage. Everything bought during its supposed to be split up
It means they have nothing. His kids will get everything
Pennsylvania, youâd be entitled to half the equity increase from the time you were married.
Keep the receipts for remodel/additions and put a line on the house. And get life insurance on him so you will have something if he does pass before you.
Why would u buy anything or remodel anything on a house that is now in yr name? Divorce his ass
Quit investing into his home own and get your own since seems like heâs protecting himself from the unseen in my opinion maybe he has some idea if things donât work out u may take everything from him happens with multiple marriages itâs some sort of ptsd Iâve been told coming from a relative Thts been marrried and divorced numerous times
To me, thatâs just weird that he is being like that. When my dad was setting up to tell my step mom he wanted a divorce, he got everything in his name only. I know youâre name wasnât on it to begin with, but it makes me think of that. I would get a lawyer.
It means you shouldâve just bought your own since he isnât sharing that with you, youâre just financial help
It really depends on if your state is a community property state or not.
Should have never went into that womanâs house!
I would have made him get us a new house .
either sell or add me on (I would have wanted a fresh start), but nonetheless what ab the security of your kids?!
He knows what heâs trying to dođ
I would have never put all that money and additions on to that house without having some legality to it.
What if he says peace 
and youâre stuck with having to get something on your own anyway?
He should have sold that house, split/dealt with the old wife and purchased anew togetherâŁď¸
This was all wrong from the jumpâŚbut now we wonder?
No.
What state are you in??
Sounds like heâs scared to lose everything if things fall apart again ! I canât blame him ! But if something happens to him unless he has a will you will lose the house and also if the kids arenât put in the will they can contest it
He wont put your name on it because he is protecting his kids and what he will leave to them. Instead of adding value to his house start saving and investing into what you are leaving behind for your kids
Also, if his Dad is on the mortgage, he is entitled to his share as well.
Heâs looking out for his kids not yours
Quit one job and enjoy his home !
Your kids will be left with nothing. Get your own house for your kids.
Why on earth would you spend so much money on a house that is not even yours?
Demand that your name goes on the house
I got married 4 months after buying my own home. He also wanted to be on it but I really didnât have time or energy to figure out how to do that and due to state laws it was pointless. In my state, he owns part also since we were married, doesnât matter if he paid anything into it or not. When I sold, we both had to sign. But I would for sure check into what your state laws are because if he passes away the property may or may not legally go to you.
The problem was that you are investing in a property that was bought before yâall got married and belonged to him and his wife⌠(not smart)âŚThatâs his house not yours and if something happens to you, your children, wonât have a place to live. You NEVER invest in something that doesnât have your name on it. Try to invest and buy an apartment and put it in your children names so they have something on their own. Be smart and start investing in Yourself.
Maybe he had a bad experience with his ex wife and doesnât want to go through that again. HOWEVER, doesnât mean itâs okay heâs let you put so much money and work into the house and not give you the credit where itâs due. Iâd be pissed. Wouldnât have put a dime into it in the first place but the deed is done so I would tell him youâre not gonna put any more money into it and start focusing on putting it towards your own place. Make sure you and your kids are good cause doesnât seem like he is. You need to leave them something like you said god forbid
My opinion is stop investing in his house. I would start saving up n put into my own house and fix it how u want n do not put him on it. Than make a living will so when u pass ur children get it
I hope u have receipts for everything u put into the house. Now take him to court and sue him. If he donât pay then put a lean against the house for the stuff u had done and he didnât pay for.
Buy your own home, rent it out if you donât want to move out. That way you can leave it to your children. Stop putting money into his house.
In TX if youâre married itâs all 50/50 no matter what but idk where yall live. If he doesnât want you on there bc bad experience w his ex than I would not invest any money into something he clearly doesnât want to be mine. You and your kids may be left w Nothing. So either find lawyer discuss rights n talk to him or buy your own house 
I technically donât think it matters because it becomes marital property once youâre married, however with his dad on it, Iâm not sure how that would work.
Iâm confused as to why everything is âhis and mine, I pay this he pays that, I make this he makes thatâ. You are married, where is âourâ? All this separation from both of you make me think it would be best if you both write out a will stating your own children get your stuff and be done with it. How can you be upset he wonât put you on the house when you have everything divided in your mind too?𤡠Good luck though.
Sounds like he hit the jackpot when he met you, keep receipts, if yâall divorce anything bought during marriage has to be split 50/50. Either he has to pay you for 50% of it or sell it and split it 50/50. But anything you did prior to marriage would be his. If he died right now, his father who is the cosigner would get the house, not you. Iâm sorry.
I just donât understand some of these posts⌠why marry someone you have 0 communication with. I would never have married someone that didnât put my name on a house we both live in. I would never spend money on a house that doesnât have my name on it.
Stop putting money into it.
I would stop putting money into this house if he refuses to put you on the deed. I would seek legal advice just to make sure you are covered. You may be entitled to equity depending on how long youâre married. This is not stability in my eyes, buy your own and rent it out.
Youâve invested too much in to something that you have no legal ties to . Stop!
I would throw the whole man away, but thatâs just me. I would also have had this kind of conversation before I got married.
His dad will get the house. Get some legal advice and protect yourself and kids
Why u putting all this money into something that isnât yours?? I wouldnât have changed a light bulb in that house, you put up all that money n youâll have zero to show for it, you better use your 2nd job to buy your own property!
Heâs probably not wanting to have to deal with it again after his ex wife, canât say I blame him.
Most states the wife owns half regardless. You need to check with your local laws. FB is too broad and varied.
Did he make u help invest in the home? If not you choose to do that on your own he doesnât owe you anything. If you want your children to have something get your own property and invest into it
Nothing in regards to his house. If you want a house to leave for your kids then finance a home and rent it out.
Stop adding money to his investments, and save for your family and your future. You could put a caveat on the property since you have added value to it.
The $36000 you have added to his property could have started a decent investment portfolio for your kids. Do not support this man and his kids anymore.
If it were I ans I was staying in the relationship I might look into purchasing a home for rental property. That way your kiddos have something when you pass if thatâs a concern to you. Will they be young enough to benefit from a home being passed down to them? Maybe a life I surface policy would be better.
Depending on the state where you live it may be an automatic when it comes to real property. In NC it is it takes one to buy but 2 to sell. Meaning your husband canât do anything to the house legally such as selling without your signature. Ask an attorney.
If you plan on staying married I wouldnât overthink it and would not worry about it.
Since he will not put your name on the house,Stop putting money I to a house you have no right to. Stop spending all your money on the bills. Divide them 50/50 . Have him pay you back for the remodeling and everything else you paid for and start saving your money to make sure you are in a good position for retirement or if he passes.
Itâs his house why would your kids be entitled to it?
Tell him you want the money back you out into the house since itâs his tell him think of it like a loan 
Keep all them bills from everything you spend
Unless u had a pre-nup stating that u DONT get anything,After only 6 months of living together,U OWNS 1/2 of what he ownsâŚwhether she likes it or notâŚ
Stop putting money into he clearly sees it as only his.
I wouldnât paid to remodel until my name was on the house now you got to stop doing and paying and start saving your money.
He had the house before you. Just because you are married does not entitle you to it. And no one forced you to put that much money into remodeling the house. Heâs also not responsible for making sure your kids are taken care of when you pass. They have a father and presumably other blood relatives. Instead of putting sooo much money into the house you should have had that money set aside for your kids.
It depends on which state you live in. Consult a lawyer.
My husband had a home before we met. We both lived in it for 4 years before moving out into our new home. The old home was paid off so when my husband went to sell it, I HAD to be at closing due to us being married and sign the same things he did. We are in TN so I would look into what your state requires. I do not see it being a big deal you are not on the deed. If he were to sell, and you feel entitled to the money you decided to put into the property while you lived there, Iâd ask him politely for what youâd like. You are both married so it shouldnât be a problem!
Talk to a lawyer about it
You guys are married and you should be a team. It shouldnât be I pay this or half of that. But you are doing things like you are roommates. I would say he doesnât want you to have his house and make a commitment so maybe this isnât the relationship for you but you are married now. You could stop paying anything for the house and get your own which seems again more like roommates than partners but thatâs the situation you have.
Most US states recognize the asset as a martial asset. Once you were legally married, and as long as the property is in his name and not an LLC, he cannot sell the house without your signature⌠and if you were to divorce, heâd have to buy you out.
Stop contributing, buy another home to rent out to someone, and your kids can have it when you die.
And keep track of all your Receipts and what you put into it
If you were getting divorcedâŚin a community property stateâŚit would either become community property or he would have to reimburse you for what you spent. So maybe talk to an attorney about what can be done when either of you passes awayâŚand for goodness sakesâŚquit putting money into HIS house⌠if he gets angry âŚthen you know you have been taken for a sucker.
Your name has to be on the deed not the mortgage
Tell him to pay you back all what youâve put into it or put you on the house deed, he wants his cake and to eat it too also stop helping out so much when he clearly isnât appreciating it
Your money now goes to an account for your kids point final.
Put a lean against the house for the money you invested . So if he croaks it goes to his kids .But your lean has to be paid off first . Might I add why would you remodel anything your name wasnât on .
Start putting money into your own home girl. Those are boss moves putting that much into a home that isnât yours and wonât be touched by your kids. Have him start paying and putting money out on HIS house.
Depends on the state. I know someone who went to divorce and because only his name was on the house and he purchased it 1 year before they got married she was not entitled to it at all. They had been married over 10 years too.
Why would you pay to remodel a home thatâs not even yours move out get your own home
NEVER would I put that kind of money into an investment that does not have my name on it. Wow, just wow.
His exwife must have done a number on him and he has past hurts. Pray.
I wouldnât pay another dime. I would tell him he can pay you back for all of the remodeling youâve done to add value to your home. Youâre married, I donât see what the big deal is?!
OK so the big thing with this is every state and every county within the state is different so Iâll actually work in a department that is for when someone passes away and thereâs still a mortgage left on the house and thereâs no one left on like the mortgage so if he were to pass away and his dad is still living that automatically makes the house his dadâs he is the cosigner heâs the co-borrower itâs his no questions asked on the other big thing is is because you guys are married depending on the state like if he passes away you sometimes automatically get his assets unless he has a welll that states differently and if you pass away he gets yours so I would also look into getting a will that is signed and done over by a lawyer and notarized also I would stop putting money into his house and possibly do an investment or something for your kids in some type away if you guys are worried about like oh my kids should get this and your kids should get this instead of like one of you passes away the other one gets everything and then that person passes away and then the kids divide it between the five of them
Go get legal advice to see where you stand⌠hes obviously not thay invested in the marriage⌠just what he can get out of you
This is his and you canât have itâŚ
However quit the second job and stop paying for stuff. If youâre not on it and he wont let you. Then you donât need to pay for anything ⌠otherwise. Get your own place for your and the kids and move on.
Stop spending your money on HIS house
If he owned it before you were married, it will always be separate property.
Itâs time to get your own home , if he ask why just say you have to be protected if God forbidden something happens to him , YOU need to make sure that you are secured with home and cash, if he doesnât like it then let him add you
If you live in Ohio your house his house is 50/50 trust me I was widowed after 28 years and I remarried I did not ask for a prenup I owned a home or still making payments and my husband did not so when got married I had went to an attorney to change stuff around and lo and behold he owns 50% of my property if something happens to me he gets my home now after I was widowed I had had three brain aneurysms had to appoint my niece as my POA because I was not remarried and I had made my house out to her and they meant that someone happened to me but this was before we got married this is why you even met my husband but now that we are married he has the rights to decide if he wants to keep this house but thereâs not going to be an issue with her because she lives in North Carolina and owns property itâs not a big deal but just know that when you get married most states itâs 50/50 it doesnât matter who owns water whoâs whatâs names in you own 50 of everything and so does he the best thing for yâall to do is to go and get a will made he gets his will melt you get your will made and you get what they call a survivorship if anything happens to him the house automatically goes in your name you want to make sure that it doesnât go back somehow to his ex-wife get an attorney go talk to one you donât even have to tell him that youâre going
Most attorneys will let you have one appointment without charging you as well
Sell that house, ask for compensation of the gazebo and shed.
Buy a house together and put in equal amounts.
There, itâs both your house.
That is the home that was an investment long before you came along
Okay hereâs the big question. Did he ask you to put all that money into the house? Or was he fine how his house was and you wanted to change it once yâall got together and he allowed you to make changes to the house that he owns. Because that part matters a lot. Itâs his home and thatâs something that you should have discuss before you put in all your money. If there was ever a chance that he would put you on the house. Also, what was his ex like? What kind of trauma did he might have gone through that he might not want to put someone else on the house. Thereâs a lot of variables. So I donât think thereâs enough information. But with as crooked as people are these days I honestly donât blame him not wanting to put someone else on the house no matter how long yâall have been together. Because we as a public donât know how you are. We donât know if youâre shady or if youâve done things in yâallâs relationship that has caused him not to want to put you on the house. As far as your kids go since you seem to be making so much money, I would suggest that you have a will worked up and a bank account set on the side that is specifically for your children
Iâd just save money for your kids & invest for them unless you want to leave them a house as an investment that will appreciate and they can sell it. Who knows if they will stay in the area or if they might live in military housing one day.
Hubs probably has the house he paid for as an asset for his children; you and your kidsâ father need to provide for yours.
No guarantee your marriage will last, though I hope it will, so maybe easier this way. Blended families are tough.
STOP this is crazy j/s . You have no equity coming back for all you put in donât spend another dime buy your own house in your name without his name on it that way your children have a secured savings account
Well Iâd go back in time and discuss these things before spending a chunk of money on a house that isnât yours.
He has got burned before so he will probably never put himself in that situation again. So if you do not like that then quit spending money on his house and instead use that money and buy you a house. You can still live with him bit if you want something for your children when you pass then buy your own and put a will in place.
#1 do not spend one more dime on the place. #2 itâs his house. He has made that clear. He had it way before he ever married you, paid for it way before you. Drop the subject and just enjoy life. Instead of spending on his house, buy something nice for your kids now, and take out a nice life insurance plan & make them the beneficiaries.