Stop working a second job that goes directly to a house that isn’t yours or in your kids future . Or stay at the second job and put the money towards buying a house that’s in your name that you can rent out for now until it goes to your kids.
Depends where you live. I live in North Carolina and my husband couldn’t legally sell without my consent even though I wasn’t on the deed. For complicated foreigner reasons
Personally I would have never put that much money into a house that wasn’t mine, I would request he puts it in your name as well. Doesn’t seem like a fair marriage to me, just because you make more doesn’t mean you should be paying more
Since you are married it doesn’t matter if you are on the house deed or not. You would be his next of kin. With that unless he’s directed in his Final Will and Testament, you would be the next up owner of the house. If you divorce however, this might get tricky. If 2 married ppl cannot come to a mutual agreement on the house they’ve resided in, the court may say sell the house and split 50/50 the profit made after paying off mortgage and any other liens that are on the property. You at this point may be responsible for the house being worth as much as it is, with your add-ons and fixes. So this may not work in your favor or be as favorable as you would like it. I wouldn’t think too much of this particular issue, but I think you need to gain clarity of where you stand as a wife and this just makes you feel uneasy as you too have been dedicating money for improvements as a partner to him, and he hasn’t really given you the validation you need. I would not stick anymore of your own money into the house unless the both of you are equally paying for it. So if the next faucet costs $100 each of you put $50. Match his contributions!!! Anything extra put away for yourself!! What I mean by this is, if your husband only makes X amount of $$ you need to start acting like you only make X amount of money also. All the extra nice things you buy, quit it. Seriously. Or splurge on yourself! I won’t say on your own kids because the kids have nothing to do with this. Buy only the things you want or that make your life easier. By doing this, you will 1. find out if the relationship/marriage has been based solely on your ability to give him financial stability 2. You will regain power over your own $$ 3. This will let him know that what you give you can take, and the respect you require is not optional 4. The money you save for yourself will become a cushion in the event that he kicks you and your children out of “his” home. If this doesn’t occur, you will still have a nice cushion for a rainy day or for your children to pay for your final expenses
You should start making a plan for your kids future as and said above buy a house put into it rent it for the meantime that’s actually a great idea you own a home and you’ll get money every month from it
Buy your own house and invest in the one you buy.
Are you in a community property state?
Yeah stop putting money in the house! Figure out a way to recoup some of the money invested already. Start banking YOUR extra income into an account and then make it work for you and grow. He’s taking steps to insure you have no rights to the house by not allowing you to help with the mortgage…. so he’s being calculating with that already and allowed you to invest your hard earn money into boosting his property value. If they are movable, try selling them… that would be a way to recoup some of your money. You need start investing in your future and preparing for a future without him present because that’s exactly what he is currently doing.
He’s probably doing this so when he dies his kids get the house. Maybe in his will you can still stay in the house till you die then the house goes to his kids
It means the house will go to his kids. It’s an asset he owned before you got together. Don’t dump any more of your money into it
I would be putting the money from the second on something for me and my kids
If he is having the attitude of keeping finances seperate, then ask for the money back that you’ve put in for house repairs. You’ll have to treat your relationship more like a housemate situation so that you both have your own money.
Stop paying for stuff and start a house fund and go get your own
Stop putting your money in it . I was with a man for 7 years and his name was on everything that had value . The only thing with my name we’re all the bills except the house payment which he paid , I too bought food , furniture , all excess household product , paid all bills including 2 storage buildings . He made way more money than me so he was able to build up a nice savings account , he would tell me if something happens it’s all for you . He passed suddenly of a heart attack and guess what I got ? Zero
So don’t invest another penny into someone else’s home , just pay a certain amount toward expenses and start saving your money .
Most states have common law so if he dies you get it but if you go first your kids don’t get anything.
I say go buy yourself a house and ask him to live with you and all he has to do is pay the utilities and food. When he says no (and sounds like he certainly will) be glad that you did something for yourself because staying with someone that’s not a partner in business, life and love is not good enough for you!
Get it written up that he owes u the money for what u paid for the improvements on that house.
He can’t have it both ways… give him rent money and pay ur half of the bills… thats it… if he won’t let u make that house a home for u and ur kids… stop paying g so he has it all to himself… his house his responsibility… why dont u get a mortgage on a much smaller property … rent it out, so that’s urs for ur kids future…
Don’t line the pockets of others … like I said he can’t have it both ways… stop paying mote than half to live there
Not sure what state you are in, but there are laws that protect the wife from dis inheritance. Either why you need to seat down with your husband and truly talk to him about how things are. And make plans from there. Dont allow this to be a wedge between you.
Look for u and ur children and build ur own home…
In Texas if you are married he can’t sell it without your signature.
Sorry, but I wouldn’t add you until the house was paid for. Especially if I Co- Signed for my son or daughter. You put money into the house on your own free and will. IF, there was a divorce , it’s up to the judge to decide if you get anything back. Your father n law being the Co- Signer is first on the deed to the house and loan. Also, the way your sounding, I think it’s a good idea not to have your name on it. It was his before you came into the picture.
So you put $ into a house that isn’t yours and never will be yours. If he died tomorrow you would be evicted. You have no legal right to the house. Either his dad, his kids or the mortage company would get the house. You need to protect you and your kids and stop paying his bills.
You have to decide if that’s a dealbreaker for your marriage if it is moving on telling so
He might be think about his kids. Exemplo my grandmother owns a home and when she dies her house would be divided by 2 my dad n uncle, both now dead so would go to their wifes, my mom n aunt, my mom remarried and have other 2 kids, so technically my moms part would be divided by 4 instead of 2 of my dads kids, so my grandmother contacted a lawyer and made a contract that the house would be divided by only 3 of us biological kids, I thought this was fair, he might be thinking the same, he has responsibility w his kids, your kids will have whatever their dad n you have. I could be wrong too, best way to find out is sitting down and TALK, ask him, if this is the case n u want to leave something for your kids, there’s plenty of options, exemplo a bank acc or a investment hone.
Stop putting your money into it. Sounds like he’s setting it up so his kids get the house
Cant be mad that he wants his own kids to inherit the house or funds from it when he passes. It’s his house . You should’ve talked to him about adding you before you spent all that money on a house that isnt yours.
Stop spending your money on his house because as far as he is concerned it’s his house also make sure every penny that is spent on food bills etc is 50/50 if stuff need doing let him pay it’s his house and he’s making that perfectly clear save your money put it away for your kids or your own home
Take a lean out on the property for the amount that you put into it. Or tell him he needs to pay you for that
Get a second home in your name to rent out for additional income and to leave to your children. Then you can reassess how you divide the bills as you now have a second mortgage but also additional income once the home is rented. This could also allow you a future where you can quit the second job as you now have another stream of income. I would not invest anymore into your current home either. Tbh you will have to prepare to invest in the second home at some point should you choose to get one. He can take over future investments in the home you have maybe?
Girl leave and get you own house
Quit spending your money on him and his belongings and invest it for yourself.
Buy your own
property and rent it
out. If he can leave an inheritance so can you.
Since he won’t add your name to the deed for the house, go ahead and add his name to the deed for all the improvements that you did.
It means U put a shit load of money into someone else’s home and Ur kids ain’t gtn shit out of it , unless he’s a decent man and he puts them in his will.
NC half of everything is mine, name or not.
Even so with what you put into it, how much is the house actually worth too? I mean you may have put some into it but if he put 250k into it, I’m sorry but that’s not even close to being even for half of it. I understand your married but it was his before and had put tons of money into buying it I’m sure.
In Missouri once you are marries it becomes community property. If you sell it takes both to sell and both gets the proceeds. That does nothing for your kids if you die unless there is a will inplace giving you children your half
If you put money into remolding it after you married it becomes marital property …,.look into
Honestly you should have discussed all that before you put all that money into it.
I understand where he is coming from. But I was under the impression when you married someone, you became a team and split everything equally. If he is showing you that Everything is his and that you guys are not a team, what is there left to work towards? I would consider breaking things off with him so that you can go purchase a house to pass down to your kids in the future. If you buy it while your married he maybe entitled to half, so keep that in mind. I wouldn’t continue sinking money or time or energy into someone who is building from me and not with me.
In Canada the matrimonial home gets shared no matter who name it’s in. What is his reason for not adding you?
Go see a lawyer asap.
Girl. Invest in yourself. If that man is willing to leave your kids nothing but let’s you spend money on him like that and lets you work two jobs you might want to reevaluate your marriage. I know I would. Think about it. It’s like you adopted a more expensive child. You’re basically already a single mom. I have a feeling you’d be better off without all that dead weight
If he dies before you u will have to move my friend went through that
Sucks that you put all that money into HIS house .you should of saved it and got your own house in your name only …
Everyone says once your married it becomes both of yours .thats only true if you purchase it after the marriage but because he owned it before marriage than it’s totally his even in a divorce it’s his
Stop paying what’s never going to be yours
He probably has trust issues because of his ex respect his boundaries
Dividing everything when you’re married was always odd to me, like marriage is supposed to be a partnership where you do everything as one. This situation doesn’t seem like a marriage to me
In Michigan what’s his is yours even if before you married but if you owned a house before you married its yours only laws are crazy in all states but no matter you get half of every thing he has
If you can afford all those things and help pay then you can afford to buy your own house. Invest in yourself put your name on your own house.
Do not put more money into that house. For one it’s not in your name as well… so whe you do divorce you won’t get nothing back. Unless proof of said things … small claims court… let him dwell in loans and late payments. That’s not your job. That’s not a man either. Lil boy
Invest in yourself and your kids sounds like he is using you to be successful
Unless there was a prenuptial agreement made prior to marriage you have legal right to 50% of anything and everything is yours. You’re each others next of kin.
His property his house but as you pay for bills you may be able to claim on it seek financial advice asap
If you get divorced you’ll get half anyways, as for if you die… Even if you die everything would go to your spouse unless you had a will made out, and then when he dies it would be split equally among all 5 remaining children anyways because you are married
My Mom just passed away, so I just had to deal with all of this. It’s different in every state, but the way I explained it above is how it is in almost every state. I live in Wisconsin.
Buy your own house and let him get another job to pay for his own
This is something that should have been discussed before marriage. Talk about it or go to a financial counceling.
Check with an attorney in your state.
His dad is co-signer, so if anything happens to him, will go to his Dad…
Not sure where you live, but in Canada if we dies without a will, you get 50% of his assets and the other 50% is split between his children. Whatever you have put into the house means absolutely nothing except for possibly adding to the value of the home.
My name isn’t on the house my husband purchased. He purchased it while we were together, but still only dating. He, myself, and my two kiddos live in the house. We split all the bills, in fact, right now I’m paying most of the bills, but It doesn’t matter to me that my name isn’t on the house.
Don’t put any more into it. It will not matter what you do or what you spend on the house. That’s his house. That was kinda my situation before I worked. Only we rented the house. Now working almost 7 years. Everything in this mofo is mine. I had no choice because I’m not going to be left with nothing
Doesnt sound like a marriage at all. He had it before you all were married and your name is not on it. It is his then
Take a lien out with the county for money owed to you when the house sells.
Depending on the contracts you signed you may be up the creek with no paddle.
I definitely would not put another penny in,check with local attorney’s, each state and country is different
Don’t put anymore money into that house!!!
Well for starters stop putting money into his house… it is clear that is how he thinks of it if after doing all of this work will not allow you to be a cp owner…
However on thr flip side… if thr payments were very behind and he refinanced and caught all that up himself maybe that man just wants to keep it that way without having to worry…
Honey- you get nothing unless he has you in the Will. If he leaves you tomorrow- you spent a lot of money with no recourse- he can say it was ‘rent’
If he wont add your name you cant force him to i guess? Best thing is have a " safety net " get all the evidence of whats in your post together n hide the proof or give to sum1 responsible that u really trust because if push ever came to shove the courts would demand proof n receipts etc of what you paid out…inc evidence of 2 jobs ask workmen to send another invoice say u lost last1…anything but get all relevant proof n documents invoices receipts as proof of what youve told us…is hubs giving a reason why not,?
Fuck his dad, might actually work in this case
What should you do? You should contact a real estate attorney and ask him what you are looking at in the event he dies. Your rights vary from state to state. Save your receipts showing YOU paid for the add-ons. That way you may be able to get half your investment back in the event you were to divorce. And you won’t be blindsided in the event he dies and his kids want to kick you out of the house.
I had a similar situation with my husband. I argued with him numerous times about us getting a home together so I could have something that was mine and I could leave my kids. He refused so I wwnt out and bought my own land with the intention on building my own home with or without him. He finally caved and WE bought a double wide and put on my land. I pay the land payment and since he went so expensive he pays the house note and rents out his old house. Also until I bought my own land I refuse to do anymore upgrades to his house.
If you didn’t sign a prenup, what’s his is yours so
Stop paying for all of that stuff. Save your money for your kids!
Buy your own home for income residue
It will go to his children as it should.
It depends on what state she is in. Is it a community property state? Then half Is already yours.
Why didn’t you two discuss this before getting married??? Kids come first. You have to ask hard questions… in the event of you passing… will he continue to love your kids and raise them? Let them live at home even if they are in there 30’s…. All these questions should of been discussed before marriage
Stop doing it and prolly shouldn’t have done it int eg first place!
So you put money in to a house for him? Has he offered to pay you back since your investment only helps him? Stop paying for everything, split all costs down the middle. Talk to him about it, you need to have something more to protect you and your kids. Work it out so you are more financially secured.
I would start saving your money and ask him to divide bills more evenly. Then invest your money in property and rent it or secure the savings in your IRA.
He obviously wants to pay the house off and own it outright to give to his kids.
And you should be protecting your asserts the same.
It might go to his kids, as it should anyway. Quit paying for stuff to be added into his house and start saving for your children’s future
As far as I know the wife will get half in case of divorce.
if he owned it before marriage it is his. If he won’t add you then you are kinda screwed on all that. I’d be concerned after 10 years he won’t add you but I’m sure y’all had a talk about this situation prior to marriage. Maybe now realizing you were blinded by love. Save your money. Let him work on the house
He had it before you it’s his …
Stop investing In his home and see about getting your own. It can be a rental property until it’s paid off. Then you can leave it to your children.
To add a name to a house you have to refinance, maybe thats why he won’t? Maybe he doesn’t want anything combined so he can give it to his kids. I would start saving your money and split bills more evenly. Invest in some property or start an IRA to give to your kids.
Are the house payments made from a joint account, if so you are entitles to half anyway, If you have seperate and paid for the upgrades from your account tou are entitled also
Stop what you are doing married or Not He Is Using You…
Take the remodeling and all the things that you did to up the value of the house and tell him you want that back since he don’t wanna act like you are his wife and all. I get he had it before you but you helping with money into the house you should have something for doing that
This all depends on your state law… In WA, if community funds went into it, then it becomes community asset/debt.
i never put my husband on my house or my depositary accts…his ex kept us in court tried to seize property she was not entitled to…i feared she would find a way to take it…
Stop investing in his house, he plans to give his kids and you will be left out
Depending on state you are in. Here it’s all half yours. No matter the repairs or bills etc. Also make sure you have a will done up
get the receipts on a paper and notarized so you do not lose everything if anything happens to this union protect yourself
I don’t know how it is in other States, but in Ohio when you marry, you own the house you have, from the time you get married, if you and your spouse do any remodeling, or fixing up, your spouse is intiled to half of all new remodels! Anything that is added to the property, a new room, garage, drive way, pool, new siding, anything!!! I know that for a fact!
Check into things and see if it’s a community property state. If so then it’s legally half your house too.
The house is his BUT the worth of the house changing does mean something. If he dies before you the house will likely go to you because you are married.
It depends on the state you are in. In Oklahoma you can just do a quit claim deed to add you to the home. You could file a lien for the work that was put into the home (this has to be renewed every 7 years) Also the home would have to go through probate if he passes first and there is no will I believe it would go half to you and the remaining half would be split equally between his children.
Find an investment for yourself to leave for your kids. That’s what I would do.
I wouldn’t pay one more cent toward his house. Save up, invest in your own property and rent it out. Let the rent buy it for you. Make extra payments to knock off interest and leave that to your kids.
If he adds your name….then cool.