My wife and I bought our home together I pay the house payment and most of the bills but she contributes to the bills and takes care of our only child we got this place together before we got married and before we had a child if things ever got bad between us wich I don’t see ever happening I would let her and our daughter have this place I’d rather them be took care of and not have to go through starting over or moving but that’s just me and to each his own this is the only home my daughter has ever known and I wouldn’t want to separate her or her mother from it
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That house is half yours. Your married. Unless there was a prenuptial, whatever he owns is yours.
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Let him have it. He doesn’t appreciate u
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You need to stop spending on him NOW and put that money for your kids education like now before its too late. He doesn’t love you and that’s why your not on the house. If he dies, you get nothing and your kids get nothing. Someone who truly cares about you and yoir kids will always find a way to take care of you even after they’re gone. Wake up!
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You are doing this on your own. Don’t expect him to add you just bc you are putting tons of money into his home. He must have his reasons to not add you. Maybe he’s going to leave that house to his kid’s. Harsh but could be true. 
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My question is why did u add that much knowing your name wasn’t on the deed??? Second I hope your in a commutative state.
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U must lay the law down and tell hime what you expect. I have a friend that actually made an appt. with their attorney for something similar and at the last minute, he went along with giving her a "in case of each other’s death " what she and he were to expect. Why keep shelling our money when in the back of his mind, he doesn’t want you to have any ownership at his death?
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I would give him 30 days to put my name on the house or I would pay nothing concerning the house including utilities and I would start removing what I added but I would give him 30 days to decide if he says no Then the Gazebo goes the addition goes and no more payments on anything concerning the house and I would be taking that money putting it in an account in my name alone and looking for someplace else to live
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Why does it matter? My sister was never added to her husband’s house and when they divorced her attorney pushed her to go after his house. You can do that because you’re married, but my sister isn’t a bitch and didn’t want his house.
So if you get divorced, I hope you’ve kept those receipts. I would drop my second job, too. And just focus on paying my half of the utilities and what me and my kids use 
Give him a bill for what yoy put into it and stop.paying on the household bills until he’s paid you off.
If he doesn’t want you to put you on the house then do less and don’t invest in it like that
It means that he is going to leave it to his kids when he dies and you are going to get screwed & your kids will. Since he won’t let you make any house payments he can say that he is the one that paid for the whole thing and it belongs to him and his children. If it was me I would have a lawyer draw up some kind of paperwork that can show what you have contributed through the years and what % of that home should go to you & your children also. If something happens to him tomorrow and he doesn’t have a will leaving you the house or a % of what the house is worth you will be out on the street. He is protecting his butt but not yours in anyway that you would need in the future. PLEASE GO SEE A LAWYER!! For you & your kids!!
I would not spend anymore money on his house!! Keep your receipts on what you have spent, just to protect yourself!!
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Find someone else. He is not for you. Just himself.
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Maybe he felt burnt after the first divorce . I know it’s hard because you have invested money . It’s a tough one and I’m not sure what the laws are like where you live but in some places once you’re married and living together you’re entitled to a percent if you ever split but if you stay together and both pass your children would not be I don’t think , something someone with legal experience might be able to confirm . Best of luck hon I lost over $300,000 with my last marriage I would be very careful again just saying .
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Stop doing the extras and write out a written lease so he can. If he’ll agree to refinance and pay back what you put into the home then keep that and put it in trust for your kids
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With the money you have spent on his home you could be putting that toward your own home he’s not sharing what he has with you or your kids but let’s you add value to his so start adding value toward yours
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Go buy your own home. Then you will both have your own home. Problem solved 
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That house is for his kids. you both came into that marriage with kids. Why did you already have a house for your kids? Why should your kids inherit what you found him with? Why invest so heavily in property you don’t own?
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In my opinion,
do you love him or what he has? -
Is he the love of your life?
Why did you marry him?
I understand your concern for your children, but all 5 children will grow up and leave. You and your husband will be in the house together.
If you’re more worried about what you’re going to get in return or what your kids get when you die, (in my opinion) you’re doing something for the wrong reason.
In a marriage, it’s give and take. If you’re truly worried about what your children will have when you die, leave a will and trust for them.
In no way is my comment meant for harm. I believe marriage is a team and it sounds like you both have a team effort going. You both are making it happen.
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Honestly what I went through with my ex, I will never have a joint account, joint rent or mortgage joint anything ! My husband now understands and accepts it! We have been together almost 5 years now. No issue’s, he pays half always and never complains.
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What state do you live in? In Texas it becomes community property if you have lived there more than 5 years. Also if you have contributed to the value.
Get an attorney. If he doesn’t do it. Divorce him and get half.
If anything shall happen to you hope not . You kids will be adults. Unfortunately if he won’t put you in the house it won’t be yours . Don’t take everyone’s advice to heart here as everyone is reacting to own emotions. The only thing you can do in this case is ask him to put you in or pay what he owes you should not be investing in the first place . It appear this guy has played you like you are gonna be to gethrr b’s and is using your resources but not sharing his.
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No freaking way I would put up with that BS!!!
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You also spent close to the amount he owes on remodeling. Seriously you could have just said you would pay the other part and have your name on it.
Invest your money elsewhere also not in this marriage.
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Stop paying for his house and bills…Save your money for your kids…
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Keep records and if together, doesn’t matter it is marital property. Just need proof you have been there, paid bills, etc.
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Go to a lawyer they will give you advice…
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Lot of yaas girl! Comments on here. He has lived there longer than a decade , raised his kids there and it sounds like he has taken full financial liability for it that whole time. Meanwhile you’ve been there for a small fraction of that time so just chill a bit and enjoy what you’ve got. If that’s the only complaint you have then it’s a touch trifling. Especially if you follow the demand it or divorce him advice which would only show you weren’t really in it for love. And no divorce judge would grant you half that house after such a short time. Try having a sit down heart to heart with him like an adult
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Get your own property that you put on a will is only for your kids if you can do that depending on the type of marriage you have. In SA we have COP so spouse automatically gets 50% of everything.
Stop paying towards the things that are adding value to his house and let him pay for it. Very unfair that you pay but cant benefit from it for your kids. You need to think about your kids and invest for them like he has done otherwise they will end up with nothing
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Laws depend on what state you live in. If you live in a community property state, you both own everything, no matter what. If it’s not, then the house belongs to who is ever on the deed. My son just went through this; his now ex-wife thought a bogus DV order removing him from the house would ensure that she got it in the divorce, even though her name was not on it. They do not live in a community property state. She could not take his house in the divorce and ended up having to move out of it. Check your local laws.
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Should’ve had that discussion before doing all that to a home that didn’t have your name on it. Hopefully all the receipts are in your name only should the need to use them as evidence in a divorce arise. I would not invest another dime into “his” house. Find other things to invest in that your children will profit from once you’re gone.
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If he won’t be reasonable, see if you can place a mechanics lien on the property and file it with the county. This way at least if he gets shady when he sells the house you get what you put into it.
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If you’re worried about what will happen to your kids if anything were to happen to you stop adding to HIS HOUSE and start saving for your own or save that money in a trust fund for your children 
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He doesn’t see this house as yours… Yes, you live there… but if things don’t work out between you both he wants to make sure his house remains his and his children’s.
If you or him or God forbid you died together… He’s making sure his kids are all set… How does he treat your kids? Like his own? Probably not.
Did he have a terrible last divorce?? Maybe he doesn’t want to go through that again…idk. how long have you been married? After a certain amount of time…none of these reasons probably matter
Just because you are married does not make you entitled to his house that he had long before you and wants to make sure stays his. It is his backup plan, his insurance policy and it has nothing to do with you. It sounds off to me that you are comolaining about it. Of course his kids would be entitled first, 3 years is a small amount of time in a lifetime. If you want your kids set, set them up with your own property. You may have paid that much (by your choice) but he has paid more. You may make more but it seems like a dick move to hold that over him. I see red flags here but not with his actions. He doesn’t owe you or your kids his home, sorry. If you can’t understand why he feels that way maybe you need to do some soul searching. All these comments about putting leins on the house or talking to a lawyer are just plain cruel. Did you marry him for the house? You asked, he answered, respect him and make your own plans for your kids.
Get your OWN home period and don’t invest in this house or this man any longer. It’s his house his actions made it clear
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You still get so much of it because your married and you can get so much not sure what the percentage is but also his super so much you name doesn’t have to be on the house
Don’t invest on HIS HOUSE. SAVE MONEY FOR YOUR CHILDREN , if you keep paying bills and putting money to remodel his house ,YOUR KIDS WILL END UP EMPTY HANDED. anyways is not like he cares since he haven’t put your name on that house. Plus you make me wonder if you are in this marriage for a good reason? Why did t you have your own house ?? Why do you think marrying him gives you the right to own what was his already?? Why are you investing in something that’s not yours? , 1 year of marriage is nothing. You should buy your own house or land so your kids can have something when you’re gone.
Plus remember when you are both gone his kids will also get a part of it , all that house for 5 people? By Selling it I wonder how much they will get? Not much I bet.
Quit doing things and do it to your OWN house.
The man has been married and divorced with that house. He’s being smart and not making the same mistake. What do you mean, what will your kids do…? They’ll continue living in their home until they grow up and move out. It’s no less their home without your name on it.
Never invest in a house that doesn’t have your name on it 
. Sorry mama! Get your own house. That’s a big red flag.
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Get your own house and rent it out or all the money you put into making his house better put into a savings account for the kids. I understand that if anything happens to you its your kids left with nothing. Are you in his will or just his family!
That’s BS. save your money.
Get your own home. He doesn’t see that house as both of yours! And the moment something goes wrong you and your children will be screwed.
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His children will get everything
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Simple…Stop doing it.
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What state do you live in?
Get your own house. He’s making sure if y’all fail. He wins… GET YOUR OWN HOUSE GIRL
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Do not put money into the house put it into a savings account or something else for your children. Buy your own home and rent it out.
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I would not put it in your name either but in North Carolina it doesn’t matter if you’re married it’s half yours.
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Keep records of all the money you invested and how it was invested. His kids will have no alternative but to sell it if yall divorce or he dies and you will at least get your money back. Plus, if you’ve lived there over a certain amount of years, depending on state, the judge may give you the home since it’s your residence. I personally have seen this happen 2x in the last 3 years 2 different families.
Take him to court Get both names on deed!
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His kids will get the house if you guys separate
Stop helping him fix his house. Use your own money and get yourself a house for you so if something was to happen, your kids will have something for the future. He obviously doesn’t give 3fs about you or your childrens future either. Start investing in you and yours.
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Get some sort legal document showing the amt u have contributed have sign it. At least u can get reimbursed , myself I’ll be looking for a place of my own
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Smart man.
Your name does not need to be on the house. Depending on what state you may legally have to be added to the deed though.
DO NOT GIVE any more large funds , SIMPLY pay rent and keep your OWN money, Start saving NOW , cause thats bullshit … NO way is that right 
Smart man. Why do you think YOUR children are entitled to this mans house if y’all die? Why don’t YOU start investing and planning in case of your death and stop relying on this man.
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Depending which state you live in, Community Property which means you own half of the property.
It’s too late to do anything about it unless you can change his mind. The time to ask for advice was before you invested $36Kin someone else’s property.
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Shouldn’t have done all those things before he put it also in your name. For all you know it might still also be in his ex - wifes name and she will get it all if something happens to him first. I’d talk to a Lawyer.
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Your children will not get one dime, keep All your bills, they may help you, if he dies first, my name goes onthe deed or I will be seeking a lawyer to see where things stand. you may not get any thing if he dies first. Get your hands on that deed, it may not b recorded
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You’re married to him Sweety, so regardless if your name is on the mortgage or not, you now own half. In a divorce you can force him to sell it and give you half the money, also keep all receipts for everything you buy for that house, like all of them. And last thing, start laying down the law, if you’re paying for all this shit and he won’t add you to the mortgage, then tell him he can pay you back for all of it because you’re not adding value to a house that is his alone. That right there is str8 up bullshit. This guy is coming out on top and completely disrespecting you on his trip up there. Seriously, time to put your foot down girl.
Ask him why he won’t add you! It’s probably because if you divorce he still wants a roof for his children.
See an attorney, pronto!
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Pay off what’s left first before doing anymore work on it also be thankful you ain’t named on it
You have cut off your own nose to spit your face…you have thrown money into a wishing well that you or your children will never drink from…this home will go to his children and all the money you have foolishly put into is home is now theirs to enjoy…please stop !!! Your his fool…and he is more then excited for you to up the value of his home…if I where you…I’d sell those items you have bought for this home and have them removed…don’t you dare buy another item for (HIS) home…you have been played friend…
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First… Why are you putting your money into “His House”. Don’t do that!! He don’t seem to mind letting you do it. Don’t… Second of all you need to work on his house you need nyour finances. He is not willing to put you on there don’t waste your money.
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I dont know why put money into a house when his ex is still listed on it. That means that,if anything happens to him,it goes to her. You will be tossed out and lose all that money you put into it. Cut it off now until he agrees to put you on the home and take his ex off. Save up your money in case something happens to him and you and your kids are booted out…bc that is what is gonna happen if things dont change legally.
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You need to talk to a lawyer!!! You husband needs an attitude adjustment and he NEEDS to start treating you like his wife not a girlfriend. Most states as his wife you automatically own half of everything!!
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You need to get something in writing that shows proof of what you’ve paid, and the amounts of money you’ve put into the house, keep all receits etc. talk to an attorney & ask his advise & have it documented. Then when and/or if the time comes, You can challenge his will/or last wishes… BUT unless you have proof & documentation, it’s just his family’s word vs. yours…
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consult a lawyer immediately
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Just because your name isn’t on the house doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to it,Which u should be because you have put in a huge amount to the home and our married, if you were not thats different story. Every state is different but like in Indiana its 50/50.
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He sounds very selfish. Don’t change you’re a very giving soul. But you also have to follow your gut feeling and obviously you are feeling red flags. Consult a lawyer, educated and protect yourself and children. He obviously is!!!
Keep receipts for Everything you have contributed to the home and property. See an attorney.
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Keep your receipts. In Canada if you’re married u automatically own half of the marital home. If you’re common law …u can put a claim on some of it if u can prove you improved the value of the house. And get a will.
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Go get your own house, for you and your children, obviously he doesn’t want team work! Stop paying for stuff!
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If his x-wife is still on the deed to the property, she will get at least half, their children the other half; but she will get all of it if something happens to him if the deed is set out with the “right of survivorship”… Have a lawyer do a title search to find out exactly how it is set out and go from there!
Invest in Something else for your kids, clearly he wants to leave it for his….and it’s considerate of him to not take any contribution for that. I mean your only a few years in, and you’ve done a whole lot in that time, maybe you should be pumping your breaks and investing in other things.
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He owes you something common law
He needs to put you on the deed.
Reading this I just saw … I I I …
Forgive me but when you’re in a relationship don’t you do things for eachother without any intention other than to just help?
I wouldn’t put your name on my house either. That’s for his ex wife and his children and how’s he to know they’ll be taken care of if something was to happen to him should he put your name on the house?
Stop putting money into his house.
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You guys don’t sound like your on the same page. Do you trust him to look out for your kids if something happened to you? Do not leave it to chance, see a lawyer
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Keep your Receipts every last one down to his toothpaste. Good luck if you last 10 yrs and ask him again and he still won’t He’s a Real dick! Run
Check the laws in your state. Some states, the house belongs to both 50/50, whether both names are on mortgage/deed.
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Depending on your state and if you can afford a lawyer, otherwise your screwed. Premarital property.
Stop doing what you do
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What state? Ohio it don’t matter you own half and he can’t sell it or do anything without you now!
Go to the land office at the county courthouse and put a lien on the house for the addition and remodeling. Tell him when he adds you to the deed you will remove the construction lien. 
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If I where you stop investing in his home, buy some property, and save money back for your children. So then if something does happen to you, they have property already and they can either sell it, or use the money you saved and build on it. Buying a separate home if you plan to still stay with him would be wasteful unless you planned to rent it out, BUT buying property and saving money back to potentially build on it one day could be a good way to go.
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Just sell any additions you made to the house that can be sold. Don’t pay anything towards the house like repairs. . Just contribute to living expenses. Why spend money on a house you don’t own.
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Go get your own home and forget about paying for him and hers house.
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I would keep all receipts wht I have spent on his house I would go and get yourself and children your own property
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10 years later and why are you still spending $$$$$ ON THE HOUSE!!!. if I were you, I’d find a way to get back the $$$ that was INVESTED ON THE HOUSE! You live there with YOUR children, so yes, buy food n cleaning supplies but STOP fixing up that house! Try and get back the money you invested, even if you have to hold back from what he gives you and do yr best to secure YOUR children’s future. Invest in their education especially, so they don’t have to end up in dead end jobs, working 2 n 3 jobs to make ends meet
Oh boy… my little apartment looks good right now
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Stop cooking him dinner, and stop doing his laundry. Play his game. Withhold anything important to him.
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