My husband will not let our son ride his dirt bike

What do I do? I live in a small mountain town where kids ride their dirt bikes on the roads. I bought my son a dirt bike so he could ride with his friends. The sheriffs don’t harass the kids, but my husband won’t let him ride it. I am at my wit’s end with this whole thing. My son is almost 17

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband will not let our son ride his dirt bike - Mamas Uncut

Probably should have had this discussion before you bought the bike. Although I really don’t see a problem with letting him ride it as long as they’re safe and the sheriff is okay with it.

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Is hubby jealous??? Maybe ask what his concerns are.

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What’s his reason?? Did he know you were going to buy one??

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well… ig when your son is 18 dad can’t say no :woman_shrugging:

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Maybe your husband would feel better if your son took a class that taught him how to ride the bike.

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It sounds like your husband is pretty smart to me. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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17!!! I’m here about to teach 5 yr old girl… Maybe hubby wants to ride too?

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Okay what are the legal rules (not what the sheriff overlooks but what are the actual rules)? Because I’m with hubby if it isn’t legal for him to be riding around on it.

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At 17?! As long as they aren’t causing trouble, why not? Listen to his reasons and think it over together.

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Talk to hubby about it . Are they deeper issues . Is safety a concern ? Whatever the issue is find out and maybe y’all can find a way to make him feel better about it . Also yes I agree you should have definitely talked to him about it before just buying him that lol .

At 17… ummm no
Why, because #1 he’s almost an adult n should know to follow rules of road. A sheriff might turn his head to kids but a judge wouldn’t to a young man breaking the law…
Take the money you spent on motorcycle n help pay half of drivers education so he can be legal n get an endorsement in time…
If a judge busts him, he can lose option till he’s 21 to ever be legal… Is that worth overlooking n taking a chance on…

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Tell yo hubby to grow some BALLS !

My husband can be the same way sometimes when our kids try something new and potentially dangerous. He just seems like he’s being mean when, in his mind, he’s just keeping them safe. That sounds like the case here. If he’s scared, have him sit down with your son and go over how to be safe when riding his dirt bike no matter what friends are doing (kids can be more reckless if their friends are being the same way).

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Are you married to this man or divorced?

Dirt bikes are not legal to drive on the road. Whether the sheriff ignores it or not there’s a reason they are illegal to drive there and i don’t understand why you’re fighting so hard for your son to break the law, especially as he’s reaching 18 where stuff will stay on his record a whole lot longer. Why not just encourage him to ride it on trails with his friends where it is actually legal to do so. As parents we’re supposed to be encouraging responsible behavior in our kids…

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But why won’t he let him? There has to be a reason.

Some of you are so lame :skull: “but what are the rules”
“But what are the laws”
Sounds like they live in a small town, where no one cares. The rules and laws don’t matter when it comes to stuff like that and kids/teens being just that.

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I agree with your hubby on this one🤷🏽‍♀️ also, that’s a pretty sh!tty “sheriff”. Y’all definitely need a new one🤷🏽‍♀️

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That’s a tough one. Good luck

It seems you didn’t talk with hubby before you bought the bike?! If it’s not legal, regardless of how inept the sheriff seems to be, why insist he rides it? His mates might be doing it , but if they jumped a cliff would he??!!

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Tell your husband kiss your bunz…
Make sure your son is properly helmented and protected.

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Maybe…teach your son that laws are supposed to be followed regardless of what others may do :woman_shrugging:

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If you bought HIM the dirt bike, i feel like he should be able to ride it. Hes at an appropriate age to ride. As long as he does it safely! Sounds like your husband is being controlling a lil bit… What is his reasoning for not allowing him to ride??? All the other kids are able to! Im sure it makes your son feel very left out!!

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Sorry but I totally agree with your husband. Do you realize how many kids get killed on them things each year? But there is adults to. My husband’s cousin was in his fourtys and he was killed on one. You made a bad decision.

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People walk outside and get hit by cars everyday also. Should no one leave their house? If your son knows how to ride SAFELY and PROPERLY then I don’t understand. You clearly think he’s responsible enough to operate it or you wouldn’t have bought it. As far as the husband part, I don’t know what to say about that. Unless he has a really good reason, he’s being unfair and controlling.

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I rather my kid be on a dirt bike (being safe and responsible) than being in his room all day depressed or out somewhere doing drugs :woman_shrugging:

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I’ll never understand why people ride dirt bikes on the roads when they aren’t meant for the roads. That’s just dangerous and really not as fun as riding it in a place where there are mounds of dirt. If your son has your permission take him somewhere safe to ride it. Why does your husband have final say and why does he need to know everything? You didn’t mention why your husband doesnt want him riding it, but if there is no good reason I would just let him ride it and tell him after. What’s he gonna do? BTW if you really care about what your husband says, you probably should’ve consulted with him before you bought it so this wouldn’t be an argument and leaving the kid to be sad he has a bike he can’t ride.

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As long as the 17 Year Old is wearing the correct gear and following the laws then, he should be allowed to ride his motorbike.

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My sons owned motor cross bikes they rode on the local paddocks and they had made a motor cross club. It was awesome meeting new people and the kids rode with other senior riders. My 2 boys grew into adults and have obtained their motorcycle :motorcycle: licence. What helped them to gain confidence was riding their 40cc with gears motocross bike

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Risk healthy risk than stuck inside playing Games :video_game: not glued to their phone. Kill joy lol

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I’ll play devils advocate here for all those that are so pro bikes. I know one person with metal pins throughout his spine, one who was in a coma for months and took years of recovery, one that had full hip replacements in both hips - again years of recovery just to walk again, my own arm with shoulder issues meaning I had to give up on my career, plus my dad, crushed vertebrae in his spine - had to sell our farm and give up everything he’d worked for for 40 yrs. Changed my entire families life. also I went to school with a 15yr who was decapitated in front of his mates while riding their motorbikes. And just had a conversation today with another bloke who was saying how lucky he was - broken ribs, collarbone and ruptured spleen, he’s the only one of those I know who still rides.
Straight up if my kids father gave them a bike and told him to ride around illegally, he wouldn’t have a face or fingers to ask Facebook if I was being fair. The least you could do is teach your son to respect rules because they are there for safety, even then they won’t protect him but at least his chances are a little better. And yes most of these people were riding legally with all the protective gear and most with a great deal more experience than a 17 yr old.

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I mean he’s also his parent. So🤷🏻‍♀️

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Laugh at husband , then turn around and send teen out on a dirt bike haha. I bought my 10 yr old one for his bday as he’d outgrown his quad bike thats what kids do. Yours is 17 he’s practically grown up let him go on a dirt bike haha :joy: let the boy live haha.

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OP.

POSSIBLE SOLUTION:
You could probably just get rid of the dirt bike and either sell it or trade it in order to get him an Enduro (I probably didn’t spell that right)

If your husband is worried about the laws or safety issues that could be present in any accidents arising from riding a dirt bike on a county road, an Enduro is basically the equivalent of the dirt bike only it has the components that make it road legal in most if not all states it functions like either or

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Or I guess it’s called a dual sport my bad.

Get him one too, his probably jealous. :joy:

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Sorry to say your husband is right!!

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I don’t blame him shit happens especially route teens if not tought caution my bfs cousin died by fluke on his four wheeler passing a corn field didn’t yield fast enough hit a van head on and flew 50 ft

Is the bike road legal ?
I’m with Dad. Whether the Sheriff upholds the law or not…if its not a road bike you shouldn’t be encouraging your son to break the law. You should have talked first

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Ask your husband if your son takes a rider safety course if that would make him feel more comfortable. Make sure he’s taken a safety course in riding and wears all the appropriate gear. Your son needs to be a kid!

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I wouldnt keep my kids from this. If you dont let him do what hes passionate about there could be WORSE PROBS. Teens turning to drugs is just as dangerous. Kids shouldnt have to fight for their own personality. Maybe he will learn to wk on Harleys someday and make a ton of $$ too. Life is full of maybes. Alot of things are dangerous.

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He is 17 and most states don’t require any sort of permit or license to drive a dirt bike (as long as you stay off road). Let the kid, almost adult, ride. He is going to have to learn life lessons one way or another. If he gets hurt or anything then he will learn from it. As many kids learn that things are hot or how to swim or walk even. Humans are beings that learn from their actions and adapt from the consequences (good or bad) and preventing someone from even trying is hindering them from being the being they are. Yes doing this will cause complications for the short term however long term it’ll teach valuable lessons for everyone.

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Does your husband give a reason?

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17… what’s your husband going to say in the next year when he’s 18 and doesn’t need permission? no doubt he WILL end up doing it without his permission anyway. I do get keeping him safe by being on the roads but if your husband keeps up your sons just going to go and do what he wants anyway…x

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Better than him doing drugs. Have you mentioned that to your husband…what is his reason for saying no?

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My nephew died while riding his motorcycle. His wife was pregnant with their second child.

Last Saturday we just buried an 18 year old boy. He was riding his motorcycle safely and some idiot pulled out in front of him.

Your husband’s fears are legitimate. I would respect his decision until your son is an adult and can make his own choices. Heaven for bid something happened to your child if your husband gives in. He would never forgive you for that.

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My husband is same way… only because he lost his best friend when he was younger cause of a dirt bike. Maybe there’s more to it then we know. Sit with your husband and talk with him over his reasons.

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For everyone says fears of husband well that an.issue in itself…the husbands fears shouldn’t stop the near grown adult. We all have fears in every day life, choking, falling , swimming ECT …but we have to let our children go it’s the part of parenting that isn’t easy…OP my husband currently is having a hard time watching our only daughter eat due to her choking he has decided to take cousling courses to get himself through it …loosing a child is a huge fear we just have to know when to let go…he actually just got over this fear of dirt bikes this year with our boys and now he enjoys it

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I mean sit down and ask him why, maybe he feels like he needs to be trained more on safety with it or just how to care for it,
He is still a parent and still has a say over the child. I get it may be frustrating.
But like I said sit down with your husband and find out why and come up with solution

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Maybe he is afraid that he will get hurt.

I’d be over ruling dad, sorry not sorry

My son rides his dirt bike he’s 15 and has a 250! We live all around dirt roads as long as he has his phone he can go down any of them. Of course I tell him not to be reckless :heart:

I don’t see the big deal. We have a go cart, and allow my son who is 12 to ride it around the neighborhood. You spent the money on it, just tell him to go use it. He’s 17

I give it to the kid for listening because if my parents had told me that I wouldn’t have listened soon as dad wasn’t home :joy:

My brother rode once since he was like 5

Your husband is a snowflake. The kids 17 just hand him the keys and let him go.

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If it’s a dirt bike and not street legal then he absolutely should not be riding it on the roads. Excellent example you are setting, “don’t worry about laws or rules, do what you want” Your husband is absolutely right.

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I have a 10 year old and a 15 year old n they both have dirt bikes. If they have the proper gear and are responsible then I don’t see why not. I mean he is 17 let the kid live alittle

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My ex won’t let our son ride his 4-wheeler on the roads. We also live in a rural area and all the other kids do it. I think he’s afraid he’ll get hurt. Which is so strange to me bc I dated my ex in hs and I know he rode them all the time back then. Plus- I’m usually the over protective when it comes with to them getting hurt. :woman_shrugging:t3: I just support my ex in it bc it’s something he feels that strongly about and I would want him to treat me the same way and support me if I was adamant about an issue.

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Your husband’s fears are legit.

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Maybe that should have been a discussion before you bought it? Personally, I think riding in the roads on a dirt bike is extremely dangerous.
He’s 17, does he have a driver’s license or motorcycle license??? If not… that would be an automatic no for me. Is it street legal??

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I don’t blame him! Dirt bikes are for riding in the dirt. Way too dangerous!!!

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U said my husband not his dad…dirt bikes on the road is NOT illegal here

He’s 17 not sure on your laws in your state but here He can do as he please and you can’t stop them. I give your son credit for being respectful.

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He shouldn’t be riding on the road! fully agree with your husband. Regardless if the sheriff cares or not it’s against the law, who is going to pay for damage if your son ends up causing an accident.

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U say “MY”like he isn’t his. That might be the problem.

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First what’s his reasoning?
Has he took a safety class, if not maybe that would change your husbands mind

I’d tell your husband to get bent. :woman_shrugging:t2: You don’t have to agree on everything and just because he doesn’t like it, doesn’t mean you have to abide by that. He is your husband, not your boss. Let him be mad. There’s nothing wrong with him being mad because you made this small choice by yourself.

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He can ride it on the dirt and not the street! That’s probably why. Last month, 2 people I know were riding dirt bikes in the street and ended up crashing into a car bc they were speeding and died

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Of it isn’t street legal then no he doesn’t need to ride it on the roads. As an ex volunteer firefighter I’ve heard plenty of stories of people getting hurt when riding four-wheelers and dirt bikes when not street legal riding the streets

My husband and son were avid riders, but despite taking every single safety precaution, my husband died. My kid hates that he can’t ride anymore, but it’s just not worth his life.

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Any vehicle that isn’t street legal shouldn’t be on the road regardless if if live in a rural town or not

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It’s so easy to say…well he’s 17, but being 17 isn’t necessarily end of story.

You guys are still responsible for your son.
Has he made poor decisions in the past? Has the people he’d be hanging out with made poor decisions? Does your child know what to do in an emergency? Would he be riding in areas with poor cell reception? Is the dirt bike safe? Does your child actually know what to do with it? Is it actually illegal? What roads is he wanting to ride it on?

So much to consider.
Getting fed up with your husband saying no without really taking into consideration why he’s saying no is your mistake.
You may feel like your reasons for wanting to let your child go are valid…but it’s entirely possible that your husband’s reasons for saying no are every bit as valid.

The solution is to really listen and consider what he’s saying. Not listen while mentally preparing your argument for why he’s wrong.

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He dont let him ride it at all,or just not on the streets

A house divided, cannot stand.

Communicate
Communicate

Your certainly withholding information that is critical

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My kid has been riding for 2 years he’s 14 now. Dirt bikes are NOT for street pavement but for dirt tracks. Know where they are and make sure they understand the rules. No riding without safety gear. Don’t be cheap with safety gear it’s for their protection. He rides on dirt tracks not the street. Yes I get nervous but he knows his limits.

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Let him ride the damn thing!!! Poor guy you go deal with dad HAVE FUN SON!!!

You let him go do it anyway!!

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I’m sure your husband had given his reasoning behind not wanting him to ride and honestly after having a family member die while riding an ATV on the side of the road I don’t blame him. He’s young and has his whole life ahead of him. I’m sure your husband is just looking out for his safety.

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So you and the son want to have something on the rod that shouldn’t be? Without insurance?

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Can’t imagine a 17yr old obeying. Is the dad home 24/7 hawking him. He needs to just go and ride it.

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This is something you two need to discuss in therapy together. We have no idea of all the nuances of this situation between the 3 people involved. Honestly the fact that you’re ok with him breaking the law bc everybody else is doing has me poss siding with dad. You understand that the end result for him riding however he wants is death right? Just bc everyone else has been fine doesn’t mean your immature 17yo won’t make a bad choice. And if you two do decide to allow him to ride it I’d make him sign a safety contract. Once he’s 18 he’s supposed to be able to make good decisions and he’s legally responsible for himself.

Only people that actually ride knows you should just let the kid ride, slap a helmet on him if on pavement! I’d be more worried about him doing it on his friends without your knowledge bc he’s not allowed to on his own bike. Any bike or quad can be dangerous rather it’s on the dirt or road bc anything can happen dirt will hurt just as much along with the trees people don’t take into consideration are also dangerous. . Just the risk you take when on anything with a motor like that.

Your husband isn’t wrong. I got hit by a quad that wasn’t supposed to be on the road. Me and my kids were fine, but the kid on the quad got seriously injured and is now facing a lot of charges due to the accident. It’s dangerous for the kid and anyone else on the road.

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I guess I missed the part where she said pavement :woman_shrugging: let the kid be a kid. Ride it’s a great hobby! Dad will either be mad about it or get over it.

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I wouldn’t let my kids ride on the street. The other day in a small town a 17 year old hit a child with his dirt bike that was playing in the street. The child had to be air lifted. I’m not sure if the child made it. The 17 year old also was in critical condition. I would find some where for him to ride that’s more safe.

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Just let him be a kid… you said he’s almost 17… soon enough he’ll be an adult and have to do adult things… and he’s gonna miss being a kid…

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He’ll be 18 soon. He’ can move out and then he can ride. Till then i think his dad has his right to make a rule in his home. Must be an reason why he’s hesitant.

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I’m taking the dirt bike part of it out of the equation. (To add I love dirt bikes and would let my kid ride)
Your son has 2 parents. If it comes to anything involving safety. If One parent says yes and one says no. The Anwser is then No.

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Maybe your husband is scared he will hurt himself. Normally it’s the woman who gets scared. I would have never got the dirt bike without talking to your husband as it is safety.

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Omg, let the kid ride. The husband will get over it or be mad. Either way the husband’s behavior is ridiculous and he isn’t the last say. It’s your son too. Let him ride

What are your husband’s reasons for not letting him ride?

Kids shouldn’t ride dirt bikes in the streets. If he’s riding out in places he is supposed to thats fine. But if dad is saying no riding in the streets i agree

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I would sit down with your husband and talk to him about how your feeling and why you think he should be allowed and you should listen to why your husband is saying no. And find middle ground

I feel like no matter what you choose, it needs to be something you guys agree on. Talk it out. That’s probably something y’all should have done before you bought the bike though. Now your son wants to ride the bike you already bought him. It does kind of suck for your son.

when he gets a driver’s license then he will know the rules of the road your husband is looking out for your kid even if your not. You should have spoken to your husband before you bought the dirt bike.Now you are pitting your son to hate his father.

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Grew up around racing, hell my brother raced motocross for many years until a very bad accident which unfortunately started his addiction ANYHOW. I (someone who has a LOVE for dirt bikes, quads, sprint cars) let him ride anywhere but main roads. So many things can go wrong weather on main roads on not but on main roads much more can happen.

Then Tell Your Husband To Get Off His Ass & Teach Him How To Properly Ride Them So He Can Start In The Back Yard Or Some Controlled Area And Work His Way Up. A Straight Up “No” Is Unreasonable. Especially To A Young Adult. Cuz Ma He’s Gonna Do It Whether Y’all Want Him To Or Not, Might As Well Teach Him The Correct Way.