Hubby and I have been together for four years. We have three kids together (2 of them are my bonus children) with another on the way. We share money and do pretty good financially, but with us expanding our family, I have been trying to be more money-conscious so we can save more with having a larger family. We have a phone plan that includes his mom, his brother, and his brother’s significant other. His brother has been not good about paying us monthly for their portion of the phone bill and has even borrowed money for us while he was jobless for a year. He told us that he would pay us back for all that he owes us (almost 9000). He just started a new job four months ago and has yet been able to pay us back for his debt, let alone his part of the phone bill. I don’t want to be cold, especially since they have a baby on the way but getting tired of feeling like we are being used for our money. I also don’t think his significant other is aware of how much he owes us since his SO has only been on our phone plan for about a year. How you handle this situation?
Take him off the plan. He’s had more than enough time to make it right.
Take them off the phone plan, if they have a baby on the way they should beable to pay for their own phone bills
Confront him like adults would probably be your best option. Get it in writing the plan you make and if he doesn’t keep to the agreement take him to court. That’s alot of money.
Money tears families apart… never lend money unless you’re okay with never seeing it again, because even if it’s supposed to be a loan, it may never be repaid. Take them off the phone plan, or suspend their lines until they pay their part
Wipe the slate clean in 2020; while that’s a lot of money to owe someone he’s family and it’s surely not worth ruining a relationship over. Cut him off financially and from your phone plan and wish them well on their new independent lives as a fully functioning family unit of their own.
He’s a grown up. Take him off of your plan.
take them off the phone plan. be like yo the free contract is up and count your losses. you will never see the money back.
Tell pay up or you’re going to take him off the plan . By not asking him to pay ,is making him think it’s ok
Shut his and her phone off
Take him off the plan or/and ask him for a small amount on every pay to be able to pay.
I would have a serious conversation with them. Within 30 days you need to start paying your phone bill or we will be disconnecting those lines. Also he needs to start making payment on the loan say 100 a month to start. Times are tough for everyone but that’s not an excuse to not pay back family. In my experience if you let me use you they will continue to do so.
Advice is don’t give money to family and expect it back.
Cut them off. Dont worry about feelings buisness is buisness.
I would take him and his SO off the phone plan and I wouldn’t loan them money again. I wouldn’t count on getting that 9k back either.
Take him off the plan and learn to say NO
He Probably wants to pay you and just cant.
We have a family policy about “lending” money to others. We don’t lend, we give. If they ask and the amount is more than we can manage or agree too, we don’t give it. We’d never expect repayment, maybe just help if the tables were turned.
That being said, since it’s such a large amount and you need it, ask him about paying you back in installments he can afford. Also, get him off your phone plan. He and his partner can get their own plan. Maybe give them 2 months or so to make the necessary arrangements.
Take him n his girl off the phone plan don’t give no money when he ain’t got a job
If you agree to LEND money make sure you can afford to let that money go.
Take them off the plan.
Sue his ass, or lose the money, your choice. Never lend money o family then expect said family member remember the word LEND.
Set clear boundaries with end dates for support!
Take them off the plan.
Turn there phones off and stop handing money over. Plus have a conversation with his SO and him and lay it on the line…
Tomorrow im going to turn your phones off because you’ve failed to pay your bill for xxx amount of months witch totals xxx amount of money on top of the 9000 you already owe us.
Baby on the way or not you have kids to feed and bills to pay also.
Shut off their phones. Demand pay
You let someone get 9k behind without cutting them off at 100? Seriously now, let us know how that works out
My mom told me a long time ago to never loan someone money you cant afford to lose. You’re probably not getting the borrowed money back because if he wasnt employed for a year and has a child on the way then he probably doesnt have the money to spare but the phone bill needs to be paid or he needs to be taken off
Maybe consider bartering to bring the balance down? They probably really don’t have much extra cash yet.
Whhhaaaaattt… thats way to much monies and he has had a job a bit to at least give you something.
Shut off their lines. Stop giving into it. You’ll never see that money
Come up with a payment plan per paycheck until it gets paid back. $X amount per check, plus tax refund after they file for a bigger chunk of the debt to be paid off. If they do uber and lyft or a 2nd job preferably with tips to pay it all back quicker. Babysitting or anyother side jobs. Garage sale for items they don’t need.
Plain and simple. Sit down calmly and talk like adults. Tell them they have 60 days to either start paying their portion of the phone bill or their lines will be disconnected. And try and figure out how much each week he can start paying you guys back. And that until he can show you guys that he will pay off his debt you will no longer be loaning him anymore money.
U lost that money,u’ll never see it…ask for installments…yea rite,some people are moochers…just cut the phones off… he can get his own
Maybe you could set up a payment plan, maybe start out with $100. a month. Alot of times when you lend to family it becomes a gift! Bummer
Take their phones off the line completely.
Write a letter with everything he owes you down on it. Call him to come over and discuss what he owes you and how he plans on paying it all back. make him set up a payment plan with y’all and have him sign it. Also let him know how much he owes you on the phone bills and set up a payment plan for that and tell him he has to PAY it on time in full from now on or you will suspend the service that you guys love him and have helped him out when he needed it and now you expect him to make good on his promises that y’all have bills also and children of your own to take care of and that if the well that he got the money from is dry and he does not pay you back that if he needs help in the future that you will not be able to help him because you wont have it plus he doesn’t make good on his promises. AND ALSO QUIT " LOANING" HIM MONEY>>> QUIT ALLOWING HIM TO USE YOU GUYS… Because that is what he has done is use you and he still is he isn’t respecting or appreciating what y’all have done for him or still are doing for him… End the Madness… It is up to you to put your foot down and make it stop … you can be Nice, respectful and TO THE POINT all in one… JUST DO IT !!!
The money owing as of now consider it gone next phone bill ask for the money if he can’t pay say sorry we can’t keep paying your bill so it will be cut off
9000.00$ honey … he isnt paying u back trust that … 9k in the hole
first ones to be screwed is family then friends then friends of friends and then credit card companies… u see the picture…
Always look at loaned money as lost money especially with family. Set up some kind.of payment plan let him know that even if it’s $20 at least he is making an effort
Turn their phones off and don’t loan them anymore. Get them on a plan to pay you back. Tell his SO how much he owes y’all. Having a kid isn’t excuse to not pay bills and money back to people you owe.
Y put someone that doesn’t work on ur phone plan ? Adding anyone to a phone plan is always recipe for disaster. If he hasn’t paid for the loaj why would he pay for the phone . He knows u will pay it since it affects your phones
I would take them off the asap & write off the 9000 or the brother in law.
Never loan what you are not prepared to possibly lose. Best financial advice ive gotten yet.
Ask for it. And cut him off. It is a great welcoming into adulthood.
Get off their plan and start your own. I’m pretty sure they arent going to be paying you back anything. Dont keep letting yourselves get used like that.
I would not give them a dime more and take them off the phone plan. You can make him sign a contract stating he will pay you x amount of money a month
Fact. You will never see that money.
Get a plan for you and your husband. Move on. Lesson learned
You can count that 9000$ as a loss and tell them they need to find their own phone service because you will not pay for their bill anymore. I too made this mistake with family and it was a lesson learned. I won’t loan a penny ever again
Take them off the plan…
He’s taking complete advantage of you and he’s doing it on purpose because he knows you’re not gonna do anything about it.
Move the ones to his own plan.
Please do not give him any more money and maybe look at reducing or cutting off his phones… at some point he has to give back… your family is not an infinite money source
Cut their phones off. U have to pay for yours n if u dont your will be off. As far as the money I wouldnt do anything for him until he shows effort. Tough love
Girl tell him next month he will be taken off the plan now cause he’s working and it be nice if he can pay you little by little now bs he’s grown let him pay bills
Cut their phones off
Kick him out turn off his cell phone
Keep them the f*** out of your lives but them pay for what they use! Why would you even question this?
Turn their phones off
sounds like he’s taking advantage of you & you’re letting it happen. cut it off or it will continue
Stop paying his share of the cell and tell him you want so much from his wages a week to pay his debt off. If he is not happy then just cut him out of your life until he mans up.
Well tell her and take them off the plan
Forget about what’s owed right now but let him know that since he can’t pay his share of the phone bill his phones will be shot off next month.
Lesson learned and dont help them anymore they are adults
Let’s be real you’re probably never going to see that money again but I would tell him that everyone is going to be responsible for their own phone plan now. 
The money “loaned” is a loss, family/friends never repay what they owe. The phone, let them know they owe x amount on this date, if not paid in full, their lines will be disconnected.
Then do it!
Well you gotta make him get on his own plan first off. Cut off any more money. Make him sign a payment agreement. Get it in writing. Once it’s signed by him he is acknowledging his debt and can be used if you need to go to small claims court to at least get some of it back.
Will never get that money back.
You’re not being cruel by looking out for your own family. Time to sit down and tell him you can’t afford to pay for their phones anymore…especially since YOU ARE $9000 SHORT bc he hasn’t paid you back.
Upfront & Honest. If he gets angry at that then he’s just a mooch. If he’s not a user then he will understand. Either way, STOP PAYING HIS BILLS!!
Take them off your phone plan. He has a family of his own he needs to learn to take care of them
Take them off your plan, he’s grown make him pay for his own phone bill.
Let it go but cut them off the plan
Tell him and the SO together he has 1 month to pay you. After that cut the phones off. Stop loaning him money! As far the $9000 debt no idea
Tell his SO so that she is not clueless. Then give them a week to start paying & if u see nothing, have their phones turned off & quit forking money out to them
He should deff be at least paying his part of the phone bill! So I will say this though when I was out a job for 3 months and finally got a job it took me like 4 months just to.get caught up with bills. With that being said though he should be able to start giving yall something even if its not the full amount, even if it’s just 50 dollars. Talk to him and put him on a payment plan and if he doesn’t agree take him off your phone plan.
Always, ALWAYS lived by the rule “don’t loan anything you can’t give”
A phone is not a necessity, he’s a grown ass man, he should start paying that stuff on his own. Cut him off now before his kids get on it too:v:t2:
I’m gonna day getting the money back is a long shot. However, I wouldn’t be giving him anymore money and I would get them off your bill pronto. Even if you have to pay the early disconnect fee, it’s less than what it will cost to keep paying their portion.
I would tell him point blank that he needs to do a payment plan with you, make it a contract. Tell him he must pay $x.xx each month for the current balance of $9,000 due as well as $x.xx for phone bill each month, no later than the x day (work with him on a date. For us the best date is the 15th since all major Bill’s are on the 1st).
Bottom line it’s not your responsibility to pay for his phone. Simply tell him now that he is working he needs to pay for his phone or you will be taking him off that plan and he can get his own or get a pre paid phone. Also mention that it would be nice to come up with a plan for him to pay you back what he owes. Have your husband talk to him probably since it’s his brother
But even if you wanna let the money he owes you slide I would for sure say he needs to pay for his phone or get his own plan. He is not one of your children you are not responsible for him or his phone.
Consider the money as gone for good. Tell him he is off of your phone plan for good. Tell him to pay 50 or something even 20 a paycheck. But dont expect it. Know that his gf prob has no idea
Cut them out of the phone plan, and no more money is to be lent to them.
I don’t think you will see any money back. Just cut your losses and move forward
Write off the debt and cut him off. Tell him it is a gift.
From this point on, DO NOT LET ANYONE BORROW MONEY. It’s the best thing I have done for myself. If I can give a gift, I will give it. If I can’t bear to part with it, I tell them I just can’t; it’s not in my budget. I even have a savings specifically for helping others.
You’ve been more than helpful. It’s time to stop enabling.
If you’re financially able to allow it, forgive the debt. Cut off the phone plan…tell him that’s his burden and the rest is a gift. Money comes and goes … Believe me you’ll feel better forgiving the debt than holding on to “when will he pay”. (Been there done that with my family).
You gotta talk to your husband and figure it out but at the very least he should be paying their part of the phone bill consistently. Maybe payment plan for the rest of whats owed. But its not our place to tell you how to handle your money… thats between you and your husband.
Count the money as a loss! Hopefully it won’t cost you much to cut their phones off. Regardless you will be better off to cut the cord! Also tell his SO, and his mom! Don’t give money to family!
Cut him off now.
NO MORE MONEY
or
EXCUSES
He is a fucking Piece of Shit. Cut him loose
Get him off your plan and sot down and talk about a payment plan that he could afford to start paying you back. Have a 3rd party that isn’t family that can be like a notary. Write out a contract and have him sign, you and your husband sign, along with the 3rd party. Get a receipt book and fill out a receipt every time he pays that way you both have proof
Easy, cut him off since he seems to think it’s ok to take advantage of people as well as his own family.
Cut his phone off and take him to court.
Cancel his line
Unless u take him to small claims court
Have proof of letting him borrow $
If not…move on
Cuz he started job doesn’t mean he has money
Accumulated a lot of debt when jobless he has a baby on the way and hes not thinking bout u guys
So best u can do is just move forward
Try not to hold grudges. Ur pregnant and need to stay calm for baby
This is why I stick with the rule… never borrow money to anyone ever. My family comes first and even tho my husband makes good money, I never want to be without and something happens and we are out of that money because we helped someone but obviously they cant respect you enough to pay you something anything at this point. He wouldnt be on my phone line since he can’t afford that either. That’s a the simplest decision to stop losing even more money.
Brother needs to start to pony up or cut him off. Don’t help him anymore. He needs to figure out his own way and learn to not fuck his family over. Take him to court if you have to. You won’t get the full 9k depending on your state, but you’ll get some of it.
This is exactly why I don’t help anyone but my dad anymore. My in-laws (specifically my monster in-law) did this to my hubby and I. I had to pull rank and cut them off.
Sit them both down and discuss it. If they refuse to start paying their monthly part + extra to start paying off what they owe, then remove them from the plan. You’ll have to write off the past balance though.
Take him to court and shut him off the plan
I would suspend their phone lines until they pay their portion.
I would start by removing him and his SO from your phone plan. They can be adults and get their own phone plans you don’t owe them any favors. Then you need to sit down with him and work out some kind of a payment plan for him to start paying yall back. Do not let him free load off you anymore until he has paid you back completely.
I can’t help you get it back but I can tell you what I was taught. Never lend money with the expectation of getting it back, lever lend money if it’s going to break you.
I’m not quite understanding why your paying for all of their phone bills. Unless they aren’t able to work. They need to pay theirs. As for his brother…your generosity went farther than it should. Once you seen his bill wasn’t being paid. Cut that line. I would tell him that you guys need to sit down and write up an agreement. And everyone involved needs to sign it.
Ridiculous that you guys are paying other people’s phone bills a hole you should never have gotten into. Cut them off or that 9k will quickly turn into 18k