My husbands cousins want him to go on a guy trip: Thoughts?

A lot of my husband’s male cousins recently linked back up at a family funeral after many of them not seeing each other in a long time. Now they are contemplating on doing a guys trip to Miami next summer. My husband has already said he knows he can’t go cause I do not have it. I’m not overbearing, but I know what I will and will not put up with. My question is, “what exactly are they supposed to do there for damn near a week?” I’ve been to Miami, so with that being said, I only see a group of guys only going to a club, some drinking, or the beach. My husband doesn’t indulge in any of those things since we’ve been married for the past 12 years. These men are 40 plus-year-old men. A few don’t have wives, and I know a few have entanglements while they were married. Family or not, I don’t want my husband in that kind of company. He doesn’t get much at all guy time; he works a lot and is home with me and our girls. I want him to enjoy himself, but I also don’t want him in the company of men with low morals. Advice, please!

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It’s up to him to have self control.

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Let your husband go lol he is allowed to see family and have friends. He is his own person, you said it yourself hes only working or with you and your kids so let him have fun and be with friends and family for this small trip.

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Let him go with his family on the trip you sound very paranoid and if you don’t trust him then you shouldn’t be with him if you do trust him there should not be an issue

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If u trust ur husband then what does it matter. If my fiance wanted to go out he would be more than “allowed” to. Sounds like u control him too much smh.

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If you trust him it shouldn’t matter. Let him go if he fucks up he has to face you.

You sound too controlling.

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Let him go if he wants , enjoy himself if he loves you theres nothing to worry about ! We all need space for ourselves

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Girl. Let that man go outside to play.

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Did you marry a child? Let that man live :woman_facepalming:t4:

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He’s a grown adult, does he need permission? I mean damn

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Why all these other ladies are correct, he is his own person…I completely understand where your coming from. My husband is also a family man, he’s never been around that type of scene. I do trust him, but my anxiety would eat at me the whole time because of all the “what ifs”. And yeah maybe I’m a little paranoid or “controlling” but for the last 11 years my husband and I have been 1. I would want to go, and ask if the other married men can include their wives and have a group getaway.

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You have some obvious trust issues that you definitely need to work on correcting. However, I can say from personal experience that this kind of family relationship usually just goes back to the way it was and nobody holds to any of those plans. I wouldn’t worry too much about this even happening, but I definitely recommend working on those insecurities of your own.

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He should be able to go on a trip with his cousins. You sound very jealous and are acting like you don’t trust him. If you have a solid marriage it shouldn’t be an issue

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will they all be vaccinated before the trip? If not no one should be going! It doesn’t sound like a good idea anyway. A better idea would be something like on my mom’s side of the family where the guys would do a yearly fishing trip in Canada staying in cabins or camping–while the women would get together and do spa things. Something like that sounds better for a guys get together.

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Let your husband live a little, if he’s a smart man he’ll be fine. Seems like your being controlling. Like you said he never goes out so let him have fun

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I see that as time to go bond with family. Just because they have done wrong doesn’t mean anything like that will be happening there. They will probably fish and other beach fun. I would be excited for him and researching all the fun stuff they could do. They are 40 something not 100. Plenty of fun left to have.

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That’s his family. Period. Also there is SO much more to Miami than just clubs and fine ass women. :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

Well let’s put it this way if a woman on here said there husband was being controlling like this the other women would be tell her to leave the man so why is it different when the woman does it to the man

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If your husband really has good morals then you would have no reason to not want him to go. You obviously question his morals and don’t trust him

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Would let him go simply because it’s his cousins, not friends

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Its his family lol if being around people is going to make him cheat then honey its crossed his mind more than once! I definitely would encourage him to go and enjoy himself he should know what is acceptable and what is not hes grown and married! Smh geezus :rofl::rofl::rofl: let him go is too funny to me!

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YIKES ON BIKES

your anxiety doesn’t give you the right to manipulate your husband into staying.
I’ve been with my husband for 11’years and I would never dream of telling him he can’t go do something. I’m not his owner, he’s not my property.
Just like I would never let him tell me I’m not gonna go do something.

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Maybe they need to be in the company of a man with high morals. Sounds like you trust your husband, and if he’s a good man that means he’s a good man regardless of company. You should encourage him to go.

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If my mind invited me and my husband told me no…happened once and I needed up divorced. After six years of never allowing me to do anything, and then couldn’t even go with my my fam…I divorced his ass. Let him go. If you trust your husband, and y’all can afford it, why not. Everyone deserves a life, and it doesn’t always have to be the one the married the enjoy it with.

No if you want to stay married

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Yeah, I’d let him go!

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Yikes. Let the man have some fun with his cousins. You can say “hey I really don’t feel comfortable with you going to strip clubs” and express that to him, and he hopefully will respect you and your feelings. But to tell your grown husband that he can’t hang out with his family is ridiculous.

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Oh stop it. Trust your man. Call some girls, pick a place you haven’t been and take a girls trip! Live and let live.

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I would let him go and and have fun. Trust him.

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All I see is
Your controlling asf
He’s a grown ass man, if your worried he’s gonna cheat on you on this trip, then that becomes his issue. He is aware of right and wrong
Let the man go
I’m dying for my partners mates to organise a weekend away. I can’t wait for him to piss off for a weekend.
Every relationship/marriage needs time apart.

I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either :woman_shrugging:

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Well aren’t you just a killer of all joy. If you trust him, why would you have a problem with letting him go? :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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It’s likely not the smartest idea to party, or travel during a pandemic. You do have to allow and trust him to be his own person. A partnership is a joining of two people - not two people with one person controlling the other person. Take the time to enjoy yourself with your friends and family. You’re too codependent and that’s not a good thing.

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They may be. They may want a break and relax on a beach. I don’t get why a grown man needs to map this out. He may go to a bar a few times and sit and drink. For you to tell him no would be wrong. What if he told you no? Either trust Him or not.

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Yikes. Do you monitor the GPS on his phone too? You sound like you are wanting to isolate him from his family. If you think he won’t act right without you there, you’re probably already controlling a lot of his life.

If a man asked this question, we’d be telling the woman to leave because it’s abusive.

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That is extremely toxic behaviour if you want to keep your husband from his own family.

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Just say you don’t trust him :woman_shrugging:t4: lol he is a grown man, he should be able to hang out without there being a problem unless you are that insecure.

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I understand your feelings, I’ve had them myself. But I also understand what it’s like to be manipulated and essientially trapped to staying home to keep someone happy.
This is where compromise comes into play.
If your ultimate issue, is the activities they might partake in because they’re in different life stages…perhaps your husband could suggest a change in venue? Maybe a camping/fishing trip instead?

If a change in venue wouldn’t help your…anxiety…over a guys trip.
Then I hate to break it to you, but at that point your issue is deeper than you think it is. And ultimately its something you need to work on inside of yourself.

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Do you trust him? You must since you married him. Don’t stand in the way of him getting together with family. You just said he doesn’t get out much. Works a lot and when he’s not doing that he’s with his wife and kids. Sounds like a good man to me.

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Insecure much? I mean if he loves you and you’ve been together that long I don’t think a trip with his family members is going to make a difference. Let the man breathe for god sake’s. And you go do something fun yourself a mini vacation for you might spark something great in your marriage.

Is it because they are going to Miami? Maybe you would feel better if they go to Boise???

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There is obviously a reason why you are insecure but keeping your partner on a leash has got to be exhausting

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If he is going to cheat, it will be or has been done!!! Work, car, under a expressway or with his cousin in Miami…

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If you have faith in your husband & trust him what’s the problem? If he wants to cheat he is going to cheat regardless of who, what, where & why. Let that man live, make decisions for himself & bond with his family. You try to make it a point to say that you aren’t over bearing but the whole paragraph says other wise, it screams that you are super judge mental & controlling.

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Just let em go! If he cheats, then you know to leave. But your married don’t have second thoughts he chose YOU! So take this as an opportunity to invite some friends over and have a little get together. Make some food, drink, watch a movie.

Omg I wish mine would leave for a week. :rofl::rofl:

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Let him go. If he’s a good husband and is faithful than he wont cheat on u. But in all honesty you do seem controlling. Also regardless of where they go if he going to cheat he going to do it regardless.

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You are overbearing… he is smart guy and he shouldn’t get into trouble

Everyone needs time away but I agree that it sounds more like you have no trust or faith in your husband. Just because your hubby’s relatives may have questionable morals doesn’t mean he does. Let him go !

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Wow. News flash: you’re the wife not his mother. You’re not in charge of whether he goes to make fabulous memories with his cousins or not. This is important…he should go if he wants to.

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You “don’t want him in the company of men with low morals”? Their morals aren’t for you to judge. And he is not your child. And if they are how you say they are and he is a guy with “high morals” … he won’t go again…or will come home early…but that is not for you to decide. And if you make that man tell his family he is not allowed to go with them because his wife said so…except you expect him to lie about why he can’t go… so you don’t look bad…would make you a hag.

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Plan a girls trip around the same time . If you don’t have trust why be together

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Do you own him? Is he a possession? No? Then why the fuck do you think you can tell him what he can or cannot do.

If he told you what you were allowed to do thatd be abusive and controlling right? Smdh. Some peoples children

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12 years and you still don’t trust him ?

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You’re wrong. Your are ABSOLUTELY overbearing. So what if he goes to a club and drinks? Or goes to the beach with the guys? Are you that insecure that you don’t want your husband around other men that have cheated? Like, what are you afraid of happening? If he’s loyal to you, he won’t be influenced by being around other men that chose not to be faithful in their own marriages. You don’t want him in the company of men with low morals? Are you his mother?
You’re relationship sounds unhealthy and you should consider couples therapy to get to the root of your controlling behavior.

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If u trust him…then there shouldn’t be an issue! He doesn’t get much guy time
…this could be good for him. Plus, these aren’t just any guys
.its family
Just cause its drinking and clubs doesn’t mean they can’t talk, reminisce, laugh, catch up, make new memories
Its simple, if u trust yr husband why shouldn’t he be able to go?

Enjoy your week off :rofl::rofl:

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If you have no trust in your husband, you both shouldn’t even be together. I would let mine go, nothing wrong with men wanting to band together with family.

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Sorry but you are, in fact, overbearing.

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Tell ya husband I said he could go. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Omg girl, let him go and make memories with his family. He may not indulge with beach and drinking on the regular with you but what’s not to say he won’t have a blast with other guys.

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I’ll be dammed if someone wants to control me like that…

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Kinda messed up you won’t “let” him spend some time with his family.

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Yikes… I don’t even know where to begin with this one.

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Cousins are like best friends and funerals make you realize how short life is! If you can’t trust him it doesn’t matter who he goes with or where he goes. Please seek therapy your mentality is not healthy.

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You’re controlling him and that’s actually a form of abuse. :grimacing:

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He should go but if he needs to decide if he wants to or not u can’t decide for him

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Encourage him to go and enjoy! He’ll be so happy when he returns. Loosen the leash ma.

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It’s called a marriage and it’s about compromise. Knowing the type of men that are in his family, just express to him your concerns. And its not about control, when your married and have children … planning a week away isn’t something that you just do without discussing it first. Its about respecting each other, communication, understanding and making the decision together.

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Maybe he will resent u one day maybe he won’t :woman_shrugging:

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That’s a control issue honey. If you trust your husband this should be a non issue and he should be able to go

Are you his mother or… are you his wife? This is his family inviting him on a trip. Chill out :joy:

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Tell him to just go for the weekend not the whole week

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You should have trust that he respects your wishes…and if you can’t trust that you should either reconsider the relationship or look deep inside of you at what’s holding you up. There should be no problem with this in my opinion.

Fuck that, he can’t have no fun without me :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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You’re a contolling woman. And very overbearing.
The man is allowed to have relationships away from you!

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Let that man go and have fun with his family… What ever he do will come to light eventually… U seema lil insecure… U probably feel that way because he probably already cheated… If it’s in Miami or the neighbors u can’t stop him

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Sounds like you don’t trust him. :woman_shrugging:t2:

You sound selfish AF… that’s his FAMILY.

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If you have trust and love him you should have no problems with him going. He’s married not a prisoner. He should go make memories with his cousins tomorrow isn’t promised. You should encourage him to go & enjoy their company.

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Off he goes!! Have fun

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If you know he won’t get wasted and cheat, or cheat sober for that matter, there should be no problem. He sounds responsible from what you said so honestly it doesn’t sound like an issue. But if you have suspicions he might… :woman_shrugging:

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You made this private because you know it’s not right. I would never tell my guy he can’t go on a trip with his family. That’s not the kind of sacrifices people should make in relationships. Getting over discomforts on the other hand is the kind of sacrifices expected to be made

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If you trust your husband, then the morals of his cousins shouldn’t be an issue. This sounds like you have insecurities that you should really work on. Let that man go have fun with his family.

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My husband went to Miami for a bachelor party weekend & he called me everytime we spoke…I never called him because I believe in letting people enjoy their vacation. If you don’t trust him you have bigger problems…

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Regardless of what the others have done… your husband will make his choices based on what HE wants to do !! Someone else’s actions shouldn’t affect your husband’s :red_circle: Imo This sounds like a you issue and your insecurities. My husband and I do wkends away with our friends… been happily together for 25yrs … trust is key.

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Let it go, what happens, happens. You really can’t do much about it other than hope he will make respectable decisions! Trust me I’ve been there and I’ve learned to just let it go!

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It’s called marriage do as a family

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I mean if the tables were turned what would you say? If you wanted to go on a girls trip and he told you no because he doesn’t trust you how would you feel?

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Let him go and spend time with his cousins. If you trust him and then you have no worries . It be different if they were gonna be doing illegal stuff like drugs and out stealing stuff but its just a trip to Miami to have a good time. I’m sure he would let you if your female cousins wanted to do the same

If he respects you out of your presence there shouldn’t be an issue

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Send your husband away for a week? Thats vacation for you too boo! Go have some girl time! We all need a break every once in a while!

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He’s a grown man. He decides to go or not.

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You won’t stand for it? If I had a husband that wouldnt “let” me go on a vacay w friends…we’d be having serious discussions abt our future

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Sounds like your worried they may have some influence over his behavior while he’s gone. Fact is, he’s going to do whatever he wants regardless of whose company he’s in. His standards and morals are his, it doesn’t matter whose around. If he’s going to do something regrettable, he doesn’t need them to do it. If he’s not, then he’s not.
If it’s not affecting anything as far as work, & stuff, why shouldn’t he go? What they do in their own personal lives have nothing to do with you or any of your business really.
Would you wanna have to stay home from a girls trip because your man said no because Lisa has an entanglement?
Trust honey. And they’re his friends/family. He can choose to spend time with people you don’t care for. That’s why they’re his people.

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Bye …

Then again I was the wife that rented a cabin for him and his friends for his 40th by a lake for a long weekend about 30 Min away since we all have toddlers and I wanted his friends to get home easy if need be or they could only stay a night. and I was gonna put a big ass box with some fishing stuff booze and a few other things in his car. As I planned on telling him that morning by leaving a big note on the box :laughing: cuz I had it all set up with a few guys to meet him at the cabin LoL and was working on more covid killed it.

N if I want to go somewhere I would kill him if he told me no. With having a toddler right now I feel more comfortable letting him go and me staying here and having my friends over.

He is a grown man. He can’t be influenced to cheat on his wife because the ‘cool’ cousins do. If he cant hang out with his cousins/friends because you dont trust him, there is a lot more than a guys trip you should be concerned about.

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I wish my husband would like literally wish he would so I can go on a girl’s trip because we are our own person and enjoy our own things just as much as we are a couple and enjoy doing things as a couple

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