My husbands cousins want him to go on a guy trip: Thoughts?

You sound more like his master than a wife. Life is short. There is nothing wrong in having some fun with his cousins.

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This post only speaks to your insecurity. He is your PARTNER NOT YOUR CHILD. Frankly, I don’t agree. I think couples ate so quick to place these expectations on their partner or these limitations (don’t hang out with so and so, don’t go there, you don’t “need” to be in that company of friends, etc.) THAT is ridiculous. You know vice versa if he EVER said anything similar to you than you would be offended and you would feel controlled. He is a 40+ yo MAN for God’s sake. I wouldn’t be so quick to say “he doesn’t like those things” and also have you ever thought that maybe him having a good moral compass would be of benefit to those men you think have none (not that it’s your place to judge them).

Id wanna go too shit

My fiance “let” (:joy:) me go to Maryland for a week. 1000 miles away. I took our son to see family but still. Time apart is GOOD for your relationship. You need to trust your spouse! Goodness

So I may or may not catch shit, but I don’t care.

So I have trust issues from a previous relationship - even entering into my new relationship. I would be worried and afraid - because anything can or could happen, From death to cheating. But I would also let him go if that’s what he really wanted to do.
First though, I’d make him understand that if anything happens between him and another female that the relationship is terminated, not even a second chance would happen.
Second - if you both have jobs then his money is solely used for his trip. If it’s both your money then an amount needs decided between the two of you that he can be allotted that doesn’t affect you paying bills and taking care of the children.
And third - after his trip you get an entire week/weekend to do whatever you want. That means he keeps the kids, goes to work and does the house work while you go do your thing. If that’s you staying in a hotel room for a week, watching movies and ordering take out - so be it.
Compromise and discussion between the two of you is better than asking a bunch of women on the Internet, that can only provide their judgmental opinion and nothing else.

I would let mine go, but I Trust him and I’m not a control freak.

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Y’all should just go to Miami together and enjoy yourself his cousins sound like trash men anyway and he doesn’t seem like he really want to go anyway if he would’ve insisted. To many people don’t value their marriage enough to want to make sure to avoid problems it’s good that ur husband respects u enough to have already told his cousins no there’s nothing wrong with that everyone lives there life different just keep doing you. It’s good to voice how you really feel.why play with fire and expect not to be be burned. It’s like some people just inviting there husband to cheat :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming: and it’s not about trust it’s about making wise choices and this is clearly a foolish one.

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Has he ever cheated… If u cant trust him to go on a vacation with his family and do the right thing u might wanna reevaluate some things… If the man hasnt done anything wrong Let him go

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There’s nothing wrong with him going. Give the man some time away. You said he works and comes home. If it were you and you wanted a break from home life, you’d resent him for not “allowing” you too. He deserves it.

If he does go, leave him alone and don’t constantly text and call him. Plan some fun for yourself while he’s away and you both get well deserved breaks. TRUST your husband to have fun and be smart. Jeebus.

got nothing to do with what his cousins are like its your insecurity fuck I’d more worried about him going to work everyday and all that over time hes doing LMAO :rofl: :crazy_face: :joy:

These are totally short sighted and unfair responses, please don’t listen to these women. There is no reason for a married family man to be going to Miami for a week without his wife. This is not about trust and it’s simple minded to make comments about trust em or leave em, etc. it’s about avoiding temptation, that’s loyalty. When you’re committed you don’t put yourself in positions that could bring temptation or hurt into your relationship. It’s completely valid to not want your husband spending so much time with a group of men who have questionable morals. The company we keep matters. And to expect a woman to be ok with her husband going on vacation with a bunch of men who are either single or who cheat on their wives is insane. Stop shaming women who have some standards. I hate when ppl shame a woman for expecting respect. She is not crazy, or controlling. She is a wife and a mother, with a family to protect. Miami spring break is not a place for married men to go on boys trips. Facts. I’m sure she wouldn’t be reacting this way if they wanted to rent a cottage and go on a fishing trip. That’s an appropriate men’s vacation for married folk.

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I love that ‘I’m not overbearing’.

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Sounds like you have some trust issues. If you trust him, it doesn’t matter what company he is in

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I don’t blame you for worrying about his company. But I’d plan something away too, idk. Would he be willing to spend time with your girls so that you can catch a break too? People who are single act single. Are you ok with your husband acting in the same matter? It’s been 12 years… do you question his loyalty at this point? So many questions. I don’t think you’re controlling at all. You love the life you’ve managed to obtain and are afraid of something changing that. All them young girls out there ready to hop on anything lol it’s Miami. There’s plenty of that. :joy::joy::joy: nothing a little alcohol can’t help. Married guys do that all the time shoot most of these females men have cheated plenty of times. My mans probably cheated too. They just know better than to get caught and some don’t even care. It’s a part of life from what I’ve seen. If it happens it happens. But to literally go out there on his own with temptation everywhere and girls being as easy as they are idk Would you bring a dog fresh delicious smelling meat and expect him not to want any? Especially when the guys around him are enjoying a piece lol

You sound a bit jealous. I’m sure you would love to do something like that too

You trust your husband or you don’t… That’s what it comes down to. They havnt persuaded his morals in the last 12 years, I doubt a trip to Miami for a week is going to change that. My husband’s best friends are all single bachelors and I still let him go to other countries if he wants for two week long vacations. Because I TRUST MY HUSBAND.

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I think if he wanted to go he should, you’re his wife not his mother. And if hes got a good moral compass then you have nothing to worry about, period.

If you don’t trust him to go somewhere without you, there’s bigger issues here than what he would do all week. I hope you guys can figure it out. People deserve to have their own time when they need it.

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Relationships are built on trust. He seems to have not given you a reason not to trust him. He is an adult and can make decisions for himself about what to do or what not to do. You need to trust him as your husband, partner, and equal - not be his parent.

Ive been with my s/o for going on 6 years. We have 2 kids. In September I went on a girls trip to Jamaica… had a blast…had drinks, good food, lots of memories and laughs… sometimes that time away is needed.

I wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t expect my husband to do it. I don’t like double standards though. If it is something you’d do yourself then you shouldn’t make him stay behind.

It’s horribly sad that your husband knew before even discussing this with you that you “wouldn’t have it”. Horribly sad.

He needs a week away from you. Js

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He’s not been out with male friends since you got married. Says it all! He doesn’t go out as he’s always working. Sounds like he needs to let his hair down.! If you trust him, I don’t see the issue. Do you go out with female friends.?

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If he’s never done anything to make you doubt him then let him go! And then go take a trip with your girls!

My husband and I have full trust. He’s gone on hunting trips for several days and other things with friends. What any other man does isn’t my problem. I trust my husband regardless of the company he’s in, as does with me.

Seems like there are already trust issues within your marriage. Shoot, I’ve gone to the strip club with my hubby and his friend’s before… best time ever. We’ve been together 14 years. What if your girlfrienda wanted to go on a girls trip to Vegas and he asked questioned your intentions?!

He can go to his place for a week and then ill go to mine for a week

Its his family… Hes a grown man… Trust him or.divorce him… If he decides he wants to.go… Hush and say ok baby have a good time… If you cant trust him then do him a favor and say goodbye

Is he allowed to think for himself…No I think not…

Do you do everything your girlfriends do? Probably not. Just because one or more of his cousins cheat, doesn’t mean he will. Let him go and be happy. He’ll love you all the more for it!

you sound too controling🤷‍♀️

Like it or not I’d just let him gooo. It’s family. I agree with the other ladies on taking a trip after… or even while he’s gone, it’ll help you to not over think things and you can have fun too

Control issues right there… Let ur husband go… If it was u I am sure I would go… And if hes responsible then shit let him enjoy some freedom… He knows right from wrong… Trust is the main key.

I think if he wants to go, you should support him. You can tell him your opinion some but ultimately he needs to decide if it’s the right environment. Your his wife, not his mom. Relationships are about trust and if your concerned, you have to ask yourself why. Several years ago I would have been the same way, very worried and apprehensive. But the issues that caused me to feel that way are resolved. There is definitely a reason you feel that way. Now I take 2-3 day trips each month or two alone across Florida. My husband can do the same and I encourage him to. It’s good for our relationship.

First of all, your husband is not a child, and if you know he’s married, he knows he’s married. Second, it sounds like you don’t trust him to do right by you even after 12 years of marriage.It also sounds like you think he can be peer pressured into cheating on you rather than make his own decisions. Did you cheat on him when you went to Miami? If as you say he doesn’t get a lot of guy time at home, then allow him some guy time. But it sounds to me like you have trust issues with your husband, and if that is the case, maybe you should re-examine your marriage You spend more time with him than his long lost cousins and after all this time you still don’t trust him? The “low morale” family members are not the problem. He works hard, takes care of you and the children, he deserves to have and enjoy spending time with family his members without fear of reprisal from you when he returns.