About four months ago, my father-in-law came to live with us because he lost his house he said due to his wife passing away he couldn’t afford it. Come to find out about a few months later; we found out that he has been sending money to some girl he’s never met in a different state. My husband and I have four children together, two boys two girls we live in a 3-bedroom house the kids have their own room my father-in-law is now in my room, and I and my husband have been sleeping on the couch. As of last night I found out that he just sent this woman $3,000 I feel like I’m being used and that me and my children are displaced my husband is getting upset because he also feels used but at the same time does not want his father to be homeless what would you guys do suggestions how to address this?
Put him on the couch. He’s not homeless but not comfortable either.
Find out who the girl us and contact her. Let her know it stops now or charges will be pressed. She is taking advantage of a elderly man.
Tell him you know. Ask if he needs counseling make a plan to stop the flow of money
Take the bedroom back ASAP and set timeframe to move out
This isn’t about you right now this is about the mental health of the FIL. He might have early onset dementia. Your focus should be getting control of his finances.
If he can afford to send someone $3000 then he can afford to live on his own. I would definitely talk to him about it first. Tell him to quit being naive etc bc it’s not right to send money to people he doesn’t know. I wouldn’t have given up my room. Let him stay in the living room.
You and your husband discuss confronting him about it. Sit down with him and have a discussion preferably without the kids in the house. Tell him the truth about how you feel about it.
What does your husband want to do. It’s his father.
If he can afford to send her $3000 he can afford to move out. There is no easy way to approach this, just rip the band aid off!
Have a conversation with your father in law. Tell him how you feel. Ask him what’s happening. And ask him to start contributing to the household
If he doesn’t want to help he needs to move out.
Wow. Definitely should not be sleeping in your room. Give him the couch. You and your husband need to talk to him about his actions. It’s not right.
I would check his mental status then put him on a roll away bed in the livingroom.
If he has 3000 to send to a girl, he can have his own place.
Put his butt on the couch
… could be one his kids that he didn’t tell anyone about. Could’ve cheated on his wife at one point and had to forget about her for the sake of their marriage ?
Is his father competent? Does he have dementia?
If not I would seek counseling then invite him to a session. Good to have a third party mediator. 
Definitely let him know this is not ok. Put him on the couch and let him know he needs to get his own place asap.
Inforn the police… shes probably a fraudster
He got money send to someone he never met. Which he’s being scammed He can afford his own place. Put him onthe couch till you find him a place then he stop wasting money. Put your foot down. You being used !!!
Have him go live with the girl he’s sending money to I wouldn’t have my dad live with me and him be sending money to some stranger go stay in a motel it’s just him
If ha can afford 3000 he can afford a one bedroom apartment 
Manage his money and move him to the couch he dosnt like it find him a small room to rent somewhere else
Either couch or gtfo and go stay with her🤬PERIOD
Get him an apartment and let him know what an ungrateful bastard he is being!!!
Tell him to go live with the girl he is supporting
Oh no! Never give up your or your kids room to ANYONE! It’s fine to help family out but do not inconvenience the people whose home it is. Next, you and your husband need to tell him how important it is to keep his own money because it sounds like someone is scamming him and he’s not making the right choice for himself, and may need some looking after when it comes to finances
I don’t know where he is going to send the money, but I would contact them and give his name. Let them know what he is doing so they stop sending it for him. Its against the law to send money to people you dont know anyway
Tell him what you know, tell him it’s an inconvenience for your family to have him there, sit him down with a rental agreement/lease and put him on the couch.
Have him invite the “girlfriend” to town. Too many scams… That are very similar to that.
Give him a time limit to get out
And have that man sleep on the couch he’s single
Call the police,chances are he’s being scammed!
I think he needs a complete medical check up. Financial irresponsibility is common as a symptom of dementia. If he is living with you he should put his son on all his accounts to monitor his spending. Getting a medical and financial power of attorney is a good idea. I’m giving this advice from my own life dealing with dementia and being a caregiver to several, including my husband who passed from Alzheimer’s last November at 65
Couch it is plus rent money
If he csn afford that he can afford to pay towards rent.
This woman could be manipulating him hes older more vulnerable you dont no what shes saying to him he you need to talk to him tell him this woman may not even be real contact the police there so many fraudsters are your father in law could be a victim you need to be gentle with him those ppl get a hold of ppl like your father in law and there embarrassed and cant see a way out let him know you know and it’s not his fault but your struggling financially and it needs to stop the police can speak to him and look into this other person … hes not the 1st to be conned he wont be the last
Find him an apartment
Apartment time for him.
You are being used. Tell him he has two weeks to find other accommodations and stick to it
There is no virtue in sacrifice. Get off the couch and reclaim your bed!!!
If he can afford to send her that kinda money, he can afford his on place!
For starters reclaim yr room and give him the couch. He should be glad of it and never should have taken yr room in the first place
Im guessing this poor man isbeing scammed out of his life savings. Confront and put a stop to thusnow or she will take every penny and then some. These thieves are all over and are expert at what they do. I have been thru it myself and believe me it will not stop till he is broke. She is laying some son story i gaurentee. Plz confront him on this sooner than later
Let him go live with the woman.
Hes falling for scams like my uncle did til he was broke. He learned the hardway. Love an pray for him anyway
Get your room back and put the sugar daddy dad on the couch
Confront him, ask him. He’s family and living in your house you have to come out with it and tell him it’s too tough to have him there without paying bills. Tell him you wanted to help but if he has money to send away then he has money to help pay you guys or to get his own place.
Studio apartment somewhere!!!
Don’t mess with my kids or my money! He’s got to go!!
Sounds like your FIL is getting catfished by some woman/man (never know who is who these days) Have a nice but firm conversation with him about his expenses and what he wants for his future. Does he plan on living with you until his final days or this is just temporary.
Love the idea of moving dad to couch and you take back room, tell dad he has a month to get the funds together for an apt. OR he will be charged for staying with you. If he can send some lady money, he can afford his own place. I’m guessing he’s being ghosted, tell him to meet him and see if she disappears! For all he knows this SHE could be a HE living in mommy’s basement!
Sorry but throw his ass out freak that he has money to get him a place sorry sounds like u guys are being used he can get a single or go live with that girl ur husband needs to put his foot down u guys got ur priorities and he not one of them he is a grown man
do they just message each other? and she sends pics. if his not done a facetime with this woman how does he really know it is that person he is sending to. maybe it is time to sit him down and have a chat.
Let. His sleep on the couch
Let His ass Sleep on the Couch
Put his ass on the couch!!
Give him the couch to take some of that comfort away and why would you feel guilty if he’s choosing others over his self
Im sure its a scam to begin with! Id give him a date he needs to be out by. I mean that could of been a security deposit n first mo rent. He cant stay with you forever.
Get his ass on a plane to go be with her and and all that money he just sent her
Put him on the couch! I would’ve never given up my bedroom. I don’t give up my bedroom when my family visits!! He’s too comfortable. If he’s on the couch maybe it would cause enough discomfort for him to get it together and spend his money more wisely. Father in law doesn’t have to be homeless. But he shouldn’t have the comforts as if he’s a provider or head of the household if he has the means to provide for himself, especially at the expense to the comfort of those who actually are providing in the home and are head of the house.
Yeah that is some of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard! Either he’s scamming you or this chick is scamming him. Hell no. Make him move out or cut off contact with her and start paying rent! You get your room back too!
Food for thought! I went through a similar situation due to the stress of my Father in Law living with us we are no longer together as he took his dad’s side. Put that grown ass man out on the couch. If he can afford to send her money he needs to go live with her.
Make him get trailer or apt. Trailer can be cheaper than apartments. He can easily live in that. Its not fair that he’s not even paying you to stay with you guys but sends money to some woman on the internet. Its time to get tough with him
Tell him what you know, & to move in with her or go to a shelter
Time to talk. I’m a senior citizen and would never treat my children this way! You need your room and rest just for sanity sake. Grandpa needs to grow up or find a facility that will take care of him as he is thinking with the wrong head.God Bless
First and foremost define rules, does he pay rent for living with you? Is he supposed to be saving to get his own place again? I would suggest he gets his own place or he pays part of the bills and food costs for living with you, if he has money to send elsewhere he has money to help.
My question is why is some girl he never met taking his money?? And not sure of the circumstances about the FIL but sounds to me like he’s being taken advantage of. 
I would go thru the courts to have his money go to you guys and you give him what he needs to meet his needs. He does not sound like he is of sound mind to make healthy choices for his needs. Aka going to be homeless unless he is with you guys. By you all having access he can live in his own apartment ECT. If he can give 3 grand to a stranger. I would do this if my parent was not going to do the right thing for themself.
Its easy…Put him a side and tell him “If he can afford to send someone else money” he needs to move out…There’s no point in helping him to help someone else? And its your house he should be sleeping in the living room unless he was visiting? But his not? Unless his helping with the costs of the household? Then its understandable.
Tell him get a bedsit if he can afford to send money to his woman he can afford a bedsit get him out of yer bedroom
Kick him out it will be easier because its the right decision
First talk to your husband. Put him on medicade and look into assisted living for him
Don’t feed him his a horny old man let him start contributing
Sounds like your fil needs a kick in the ass and told to get the hell out of he ends up homeless that is no ones fault but his own
Find him his own one room rental… lots of those… gain your space back!!!
Need to be talked about and take your room back. Put dad on the couch.
If he can send mo st he can rent an apt
Help him find a place of his own. If he can send a woman money, he can pay rent somewhere. Look for someplace for seniors that’s income based.
Find out taking money out bank
If you have two boys and two girls that need their own bedrooms as in the boy share one room two girls share another then you’re at least in your thirties which would put your father-in-law late 50s early 60s at least. Seems fine time to me to put him in a nursing home. He obviously can’t take care of himself and definitely showing signs of dementia or at least lost his damn mind. I’d say that’s grounds to put them in a nursing home.
If he can send that much money to some random girl he can afford to live on his own in a one bedroom apartment or something
Find him a low income senior citizen place to live in you guys have enough on your plate people like that kill me father or no he is a grown man he will be fine stand your ground with him find out who those tramps are he been sending money to let them know you will be calling the cops if they try to get money from your father again
U and your husband have to sit.him down and say you both know what hes doing ask him why? Second does your father n law pay room n.board problem you have is this is family.but they can take advantage to.find out what’s going.on if it doesn’t seem legit hell have to be moving.on good luck
No tell him to find am apartment!! And why give up your room!! Make him take the couch and pay rent!
He is seeking attention, strongly suggest grief counselling and single senior events. I have a similar problem, my suggestions didn’t work so I distanced myself so that I couldn’t be used. It’s very sad 
If he’s got $3000 to send to some stranger, he has enough to pay his own way and have his own home. Unless he’s paying your mortgage or contributing a significant amount to your household–and you need the money–it’s time for him to find his own place.
He’s paying that woman’s bills, he can go live with her!
He’s being scammed put a stop to it
With that kind of money he can find something he can afford.
He obviously can afford his own place, my recommendation is make him leave now, or 3 months becomes 3 years like mine 
Under these conditions … he needs to be on the sofa and paying you rent plus grocery money. If he can afford to send a stranger money … He can afford to help his own family that is helping him! Ridiculous for an old man who has lived his life and raised his children to be taking advantage of you and your family.
I’d say if you can give some random $3,000, you can afford your own place. I’d say we gave up our room to give to you and we sleep on the couch while you give some strange lady money? Nope sorry. Bye bye
Call Nev from Catfish
Tell your husband he can move out with his Dad if he doesn’t get behind you and kick him out.
Pack this users bag and move him out! Trust me, he wont be homeless,and you and your family deserve more than this!
I will never give up my room for anyone. He’s the one should be sleeping in the couch.
You need to have a conversation with him… explain to him this can not be a long term situation… he obviously has money… he could be paying rent somewhere. Nd not paying someone elses bills.
If he can afford to send some random lady money he can afford his own one bedroom apartment for the elderly that house is for u and ur kids and ur husband
Put him on sofa and charge a portion of rent.