My husbands dad moved in with us and we gave him our room, then we found out he is sending money to some girl: What should we do?

How about you defend your father in law,and tell that female to F@#k off! It’s obvious hes being taken advantage of…hes the victim …not you and your whiney husband. Geeze

Kick the father in law out. That’s my suggestion. You’re being used.

Make him pay rent. Or put him in a home if hes got that kind of money. Then he will be spoiled with the services

You and your husband need to find out everything you possibly can about this “girl”, and prove to him that this “girl” is nothing more than a scammer.

You and your husband need to protect your Father in-law, and you need to be respectful about it, because he would still be mourning the loss of his wife, and his mind just isn’t quite what it was before she passed

You and your husband need to talk to his bank about what is happening. BEG, if you have to, for them to keep an eye on his account, if not put a stop to transfers.

You and your husband need to contact this “girl” somehow.
You and your husband need to scare the absolute shit out of them.

You and your husband, also need to NOT pay any attention to the bullshit advice coming from bullshit people about kicking your father in-law out and making him fend for himself.
YOU PROTECT HIM!
That is your job now. That is your husbands job now.
You protect your father in-law!
You don’t turn your back on him. Because if you do, he will suffer greatly.

Contact police n show him a Dr Phil show about people getting conned by people in other countries

Three thousand dollars… ridiculous. He being catfished and expects you to put him up in your bedroom while you and your husband are sleeping on the couch. He needs to get his own place. I’m pretty sure he can find something for less than three thousand dollars. I have a policy that I will help anyone in need if they are willing to help themselves. He’s using you and your family.

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Physical, mental exam. Maybe he is not competant.

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Have him pay half of everything…
Except
Food.

Put him in the couch .If he can afford to send somebody $3000 ,he can afford to rent an apartment

Your husband should confront his father .Tell him that he knows about the money he’s sending that money to. Tell him if he can afford to do that than he can afford a place of his own. Or better yet he can move in with that woman he’s sending all the money too. Tell him not to take your kindness for stupidity.

Let him sleep on the couch, since his son is so concerned. And charge him rent WTF!

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Has your father in law seen a Dr or Is he showing any signs of Dementia thus us criminal him sending this rotten girl money I’d be putting a stop to this abuse and get your husband to manage this mans money for him

Take a stand find your no voice I know it’s hard with family but your children are your responsibility good luck :+1:

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He is being scammed. Have a talk with him

Listen to these comments.& get your lives back he will be ok

Put him on the couch and take your room back. Have your husband have a talk with him. Sounds like he needs to be putting that money he’s giving to some girl he has never even met towards your household.

Speak up and talk to him. Check this woman out. I would tell him not to send this woman no more money and he should be giving you money to help out. Be honest.with him. Sounds like he is being takin advantage of.

Move him to the sofa and start paying rent.

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Tell him to go live with her! Wtf

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I’d sit down and talk to him. If he could afford to send some.girl 3,000 a month he can afford rent somewhere.

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He would get a warning to stop and then be kicked out if he kept it up. He lost his house for financial reason’s and spend 3k on some random chick who is probably catfishing the shit out of him​:expressionless::expressionless: is he even paying rent?!

If he can send $3000 to some girl he has never met he can afford someplace to live. Help him find one.

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That is so unfair. He needs to move out

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If you have money to send to girls online then you have money to get a place to live. Kick him to the couch and tell him he has 30 days to get out.

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Yeah he needs to be on the sofa are you kidding me. Also he needs to contribute. Assisted living etc is way more than 3000 a month you guys are saving him a ton of money which he is giving to her

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Out he goes. That’s insane smh

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Move him to a low income place or get him a cheap placs he can afford. No way in hell would someone luve with me and not help with bills they are using but sends some random girl (probably a scammer) $3k! Nope. Dad or not, he would be out (yes I did this with my own father)

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He needs to move out he is using you not fair to your children.

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He sounds like he’s part of a catfishing scheme that dr Phil covers all the time. You really should get him help and look into who this “girl” is and see if it’s a legitimate person or if he’s being scammed out of thousands of dollars.

Because yes, it actually happens and people do fall for stupid shit.

Also, give him your couch or the floor and take your room
Back. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Charge his ass rent.

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Pay up rents,food and some of for his needs…get your husband have talk to his dad about that chick try find out what’s go on?..maybe hes still grieve and need some love who knows dont push him over his head though…my gramma live with us I’ve help her out alot and everything basically they wont be around any long so remeber that!!

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Get ur room back and let him sleep on the couch. Then you can move forward

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Tell him no more he’s sending her money go live with her.

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Charge him 3000$ rent lol

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He has that kind of money to send to someone he doesn’t know then he has the money for a one bedroom apt.

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Oh hell no! He damn sure wouldn’t have my room. He’d be back on the couch with a 30 day notice to move out .
I refuse to help those that will not help themselves or take advantage of those that do!
With $3000 he could damn sure afford his own place.

Show him tough love and tell him to get out. There are cheaper places to live he can do with a one bedroom. Plus you guys have babies to raise and a family. Sure he’ll understand and your husband should too, his dad is grown and if he can send a girl 3,000 than he can definitely afford a damn one bedroom no excuses or questions fr.

He gets the couch and starts paying some rent. If he does not like it, he can leave.

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Let him get some booty damn

He’s obviously being scammed as he’s very vulnerable due to losing his wife, this is very common you MUST have a very sincere word with him this will not be a genuine woman it will be a scammer there are thousands that get scammed for hundreds of thousands if he thinks she genuine as he’s probably been very clearly sucked in then ask him to videocall this person I can guarantee they will come up with a hundred excuses why they can’t.

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Time to go. Sorry but 3000$ is enough to move into a 1br apartment.

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I would let him know it is a scam… he’s probably lonely and if he’s older…

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Yeah you can tell him to go live with the chick he sending money to. Why in the hell is he going to sit there and do that especially after his wife passing. If he can afford to send this random woman this much money than he can afford to get his own place

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I’m gonna need y’all to tell him to get the fuck out of your room and house like now!!!

put him on the couch and he needs to get a job/pay rent or get out

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Your father in law is probably being cat-fished and that is sad.

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He sleeps on the couch and has 30 days to get someplace else

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One let him know u know about the money. But this go on more then u realize .

If he has enough money to send to some random girl, he has enough money to get a place of his own and move out. Bye Dad!

Pay up or move.no free loaders allowed.

Honestly you should never ever give up your room to anyone especially another adult that should have his shit together. What about privacy for you and your partner. SMH I wish a MFKR would. The answer would be hell no. Sleep on the couch and you have 30days to find a place to go.

Sorry, he needs to be the one on the sofa or in one of the kids bedrooms if you are against putting him on the couch. Also, he should definitely contribute something to your household. If he has money to send to someone he doesn’t even know, he can contribute to his own family for allowing him to stay there. At the very least help towards groceries!

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Exit plan. He has to go!

Grandpa has gotta go. If he is staying with you free and sending money to other people, he is being very inconsiderate of you all and your needs. I would start by putting him on the couch and ask him to start paying rent so you can look for a bigger home if he is going to be staying with you long term.

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Sounds like the father is being scammed

Have a sit down with him and a major discussion. First subject should be not sending his money elsewhere…

Have him sleep on the couch :person_shrugging:

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Sure more then him sending her money… get his own place.with that kind of money …prayers

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Define conversatuon needs to be had…not im an angry or combative way.

Why are you two on the couch in your own home?:roll_eyes: He should be the one there. Is he paying for your room? I’d tell him he needs to find himself a studio or anything. 3000$ is perfectly enough to afford something nice.

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Why did you give up your room? Just let him sleep on the couch and sending $3,000 to some random chick is not okay.

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Bye bye father in law if he can send $3,000 you should worry about him being homeless

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I also believe he’s being scammed he’s probably not even talking to a woman and they’re probably from another country

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Okay no way in hell would I give him my room he can sleep on the sofa that way he does have a roof over his head I give him 30 days and I would say he’s the dumbest how do I put this nicely MF that I’ve heard from for a long time or heard about I have a friend that sent somebody an iTunes card and she can’t afford to pay her rent but I think that’s stupid but she didn’t said that much cuz she doesn’t have that much I mean $3,000 to someone you’ve never met at how effing stupid okay that’s all I have good luck get him the hell out of the house moving to the Sofitel till such time as he moves giving 30 days and that’s that

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If he is sending money to a woman who he hasn’t met. I would be proactively checking her out. To make sure she isnt just using him & leading him on for money. There are alot of catfish scams out there. That are scamming ppl. Especially the elderly & most likely they don’t live in the United states. Have him used the money that sending each month & buy a stuff shed & make is a he shed little home & put it into your back yard. That way you can get your house & room back.

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Confront him. Find out how much he has sent this girl. Contact the autjorities. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for schemes to be enacted against seniors. Do let him stay until you find a senior residence or apartment for him. Maybe he can if reported to police, etc. HE can get some help to have something returned or the person if in the US persecuted to stop it from happening to anyone else. Do it all with compassion and knowing in the midst of grief and age he was very vulnerable. Your husband should try and become his healthcare and financial proxy and)or power of attorney.

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Sounds like a cat fishing episode of dr phil. Seriously I’d call the show but he’s got to go. He’s taking advantage of you when he clearly has the money to provide for himself

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You don’t wanna kick him out,that’s fine. But put his butt on the couch not yours

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He should be the one on the couch, just tell him your taking your house back over and let him know he needs to start paying you or saving money for another place to live

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He can afford is own rent then :roll_eyes:

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Personally, before I did anything I would ask who the woman is and why he’s sending her money. Maybe he’s being cat-fished. Maybe she loaned him money and he’s been paying her back. Maybe he has a secret gambling problem. Maybe there’s something else going on.

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But why is he sending her money?

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Tell him that you and your husband need some privacy, need the bedroom and he can use the couch. Also if he can contribute with something for the rent .

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FIL is totally taking advantage of you. Whether he realizes it or not. Talk to him. If he doesn’t seem to give a shit how you feel, then you know what you need to do.
Definitely would not be giving up my bedroom/personal space. Opening the door alone is plenty generous, hun.

I’ve actually been through this exact thing! He came to live with me and my now ex husband because he was starting to forget to pay bills, take his meds, he’s get confused and think he was 16 again and we were his parents not letting him out. He walked the train tracks once with me trailing behind him with my then 18m old screaming HE WASN’T COMING HOME MOM and walked all the way to his brothers… My ex and his brother finally showed up to help me and we got him home. Ff a few months and we’re in the process of signing him as our dependent so we control his money… And I start noticing 200-300 at a time vanishing and I rlly thought some1 stole his card or hacked his acct… Nah girl… Dad was sending $ to some lil 22yo in Cali :joy: :joy: it’s all under control now, I just addressed the whole situation. He was a little mentally unwell so I was never going to kick him out, but it was def going to stop! I’m not over here struggling so you can help Hollii with 2 Is pay her bills :joy: :joy:

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For openers, get control of his bank account. Father or not, he needs to give YOU money to help out. Chances are, the girl is some ugly guy in a dark room fishing for suckered like him. That money could be used to build an extra room in your house. Helping a family member is a great thing but it doesn’t mean the whole family must suffer.

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If he has that much money to give away, why does he not have his own apartment?

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This happens alllll the time! He’s being scammed! It’s especially hard with seniors, but you need to flat out explain that she’s scamming him, and if necessary contact “her” yourself and tell “her” you’ll be reporting to the authorities and 9 times out of 10 the person will abandon ship!

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First…he is your father in law…your husband should handle this …but l agree…he should be confronted…

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If he can send some random woman $3000 he can afford his own place!! Why would u give him your room? Fuck that! Your being too nice and he’s taking advantage

Start charging rent. If he has enough for her, he has enough for yall. Tf he thought?!

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I’d tell him if he can afford to send three grand to someone he don’t even know then he can afford to live on his own… Tell him he’s got 30 days to find a place…
May sound heartless and I’m not trying to be… But if he can send that much money to someone he’s more than capable of affording an apartment

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3,000 he can find something affordable.

Take your bedroom back and give him the couch. I’d personally tell him he needs to leave. 3,000 is plenty for a deposit on an apartment. :woman_facepalming:t2:

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How old is he? Elder financial abuse is a real thing.

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Kick him to the curb!!!

Put him on the couch. I would not have given up my marital room and bed for anyone. He could bunk in one of the kids’ rooms or on a couch. Unless he is very ill which is not what seems to be the case.

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Tell him you know about the $ he sent and exactly how it makes you feel. That you’re being used and you and your family are being displaced because of his, what you believe to be, irresponsible choices. I’d ask him why he thinks this woman needs the $ more than he does. More than you, your husband an family do. He’s obviously not thinking clearly and it’s important to address that, vs just telling him to get out. It seems very likely he’s being scammed and unfortunately it’s easy to do to someone that’s lonely. If he’s not currently helping with finances, require him to contribute, or to give you a set amount to put away so he can move out within a reasonable time frame. This is just sad, but I understand how you feel. My ex MIL wasn’t paying anything, living with me, my ex and our two children. My ex didn’t work and I made just enough to make ends meet. She claimed she had no $ to help because she was paying for a divorce, but I later found out she was tithing 20% of her pay.

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You give him an ultimatum. He can either give you the money to help out or he can go move in with this girl. That’s absolutely crazy. I’m sorry his wife passed away, but he doesn’t need to use you and your husband like that.

His father is a grown ass man. Ask him for rent or demand he gets the couch or boot him out. He shouldn’t be living in YOUR HOUSE for free in YOUR BEDROOM for free while he’s shelling out hundreds of dollars to a girlfriend in another state.

Rent and I would never give up my bedroom

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Depending on his age, you need to start co signing EVERYTHING. and if you have to, become guardian . Dont laugh, scammers can cash his ss checks. These ppl that say kick him out. Shame .no, meet with a dr that helps seniors and start protecting him!

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Put him on couch and if he’s can send money …charge him rent…

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He’s been catfished!! How sad for him! He needs to go. He has probably spent every penny he has.

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I would legally go to court and obtain emergency guardianship citing his claim he cant afford to live alone and then express his resources may allow him to live in a senior facility where he can live, eat, be engaged, be given an allowance After that I would have the female investigated for fraud.

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He have to go where his money goes the door

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At least take your room back!!

Uh Dr Phil has been covering this a lot lately. Hes being scammed. The elderly are targeted. Either try to help him figure out on his own that it’s a scam, or track down who it is at the end and report it to the authorities yourself.

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First off he wouldn’t be in my room either he is on the couch or with one of the kids. If he can afford that then he can afford rent. Monthly payment and helping out with some of the power and food expenses as well. Also some of the water bill too as he would need that to shower and brush his teeth too. And i would talk to him saying you know about the money he is sending to this other person.

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My 80 yr old aunt is doing the exact same thing… it’s a mental illness…they are brainwashed by manipulative con artists… it’s very hard to get them to listen and convince them of this…