My husbands’ ex is allowing their 8 year old daughter to sleep in bed with her boyfriend. How do we approach the situation as it feels uncomfortable and inappropriate. We don’t want to hurt feelings or start a war- but we want our child safe.
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Husband, baby’s dad, needs to have a talk/walk with boyfriend.
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Ummm definitely start a war. That’s beyond inappropriate and needs to be put to end- YESTERDAY!
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There is no reason a 8year old needs to sleep with someone , especially the mothers boyfriend. The ex and her bf need a good knock in the head if you ask me.
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Better safe than sorry.
If I were the husband a.k.a father of the 8 year old girl, I’d rather have my girl live with me than with my ex wife coz my ex wife is not thinking very well to allow that thing which is obviously inappropriate and dangerous
Assuming they mean she sleeps in bed with mum and bf ?? If its just bf and child I’d definitely be starting a war , if its all 3 explain to mum that you don’t feel comfortable with the sleeping situation and is there anything else they could do , does step daughter sleep with step mum and dad ?
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Why isn’t he sleeping in the bed with the mother? 
Call DCF and keep the child in your custody
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Call child protective services asap please. You could be the one to help this 8 year old. Please call.
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My son’s father and I had this talk because he aloud his gf to lay in bed with them.
I spoke to him and he was a jerk. So I spoke to her and she and I agreed that laying all together to watch movie is one thing but she didn’t need to be in bed with them. She spoke to my x about finally getting my son in his bed. Thank you Lord.
Safeguard it immediately even if it has to be done anonymously
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Yea thats a big NOPE. Id tell them point blank…Its ridiculously inappropriate and it stops yesterday. Go to court if you have to. Theyre grooming her…stop it bwfore something life changing happens. Protect her.
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Oh HELL NO. BIG EFFING NO.
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Speak with the ex
Ask questions before jumping to conclusion.
Could be a number of different reasons as to why!
Not everything is sinister!
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Start a war, are you kidding me!
This needs to be reported to DCF this is dangerous
Very inappropriate!!!
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I think the phuck not! CPS!!!
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Call the cops.asshole…
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Talk to the daughter maybe he’s doing something to her that is 100% inappropriate and if it was my kid I would tell them that needs to stop happening and if it continues you’ll call the police and she won’t be able to stay the night that sounds to suspicious and uncomfortable
Hold on. How long has the boyfriend been in the picture? And is the mother in the bed as well? (Like baby girl is crawling into bed with them both?) This is too vague to say anything or give any advice.
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What u mean we don’t wanna hurt feelings or start a war?.. ur children are the 1st thing u go to war for… stupidity at its finest…
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I’m assuming that ex and bf and daughter are all sleeping in the same bed
8 years old should be sleeping In her own bed
Defends on the situation I guess how long has she been sleeping with her mother? And has the boyfriend been in the picture for awhile?
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Uh fuck a bunch of feelings. This is wrong. Why has her dad not done something already
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WTF, this need to be reported, immediately.
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Has if u need to ask what to do go get that child out of that house n take cops with u n don’t let her go bk cus y the hell has the mother let her by sleep in the same bed has her child of any age its fucking sick they both need locking up n that child out now he could be hurting her
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I’d take that child n go to children’s services or something ya go get on record n get yourself full custody before anything does happen !! That’s not right
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Keep the child at home tell them why and tell them you will see them in court
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8 years old thats crazy
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Oh hell no start a war now
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The Mom should know better!!!
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My girlfriends baby daddy is a sex offender for molesting his 9 year old little sister when he was 16 and they allow their daughter to sleep in the bed with him when it’s his time to have her.
No no no !!! Your husband needs to be extremely diplomatic if he doesn’t want a war, but that bitch mom needs a few smacks in her bek! Why must he sleep over if she has 1 bedroom. Quite sickening if Kak happens it’s always the moms boyfriend …
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What, This is a no brainer, get your child
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I mean.my bf and i share a bed. My 10 year old had nightmares and crawled into bed next to me (me between them) we fell asleep. This is exactly what i imagined. Its not sinister. Its my daughters mom having a cuddle and falling asleep.
I showed up to pick my son up from his dads house and our son, his dad and his dads gf were all sleeping in one bed. I voiced how I found it inappropriate and not ok… hasn’t happened again! 
voice your opinion and stand up for what you feel is right for your kids!
She should be charged with reckless endangerment.
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Start a war. It’s a child ffs
Ah shit to vague…my 8yr old son crawls into bed with me and my s.o. and infant once in blue moon…if just bf & kid diff story…
Good Lord why is this even a question …?
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Noooooooooo!!! If any feelings should need worrying over it should be HERS!!! Get her away ASAP!!
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This post needs reporting for the mother to let it happen n the the step mother n real dad to write it n god know how long he been sleepin in same bed has her n they ask this they all 4 need a bang round the fucking head n the child with someone who knows how to put a child first n safeguarding them like she need cus its rong
As a child victim of my dads i wouldn’t allow that what so ever dont care whos feelings get hurt childs safety should be more important
Seriously!?!?!?! Fuck hurt feelings!!! Would you rather the child be hurt than to hurt and adults feelings??? War would have already started, IMO!!!
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You are a total dumb fu…
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I’d come unglued by now. I wouldn’t be posting and asking I’d be at there house
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how long has the bf been in the picture? does the mother sleep with them? if hes just a bf whys he gotta come over on days she’s there
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Get lawyer, go to court,get custody of that child now…she should not be sleeping in bed with mother’s boyfriend…wrong wrong WRONG!!!
Children of different sexes have to sleep in separate rooms after a certain age here. So how can some random boyfriend of the mums be okay? Ew
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If you’re too afraid to say something, call CPS? Pretty sure DHS in every state wants kids in their own bed by “school age”
Steups everybody mind just in the gutter not all men are perverts ok…just as her ex has a new wife who calls the child "our child"well she also has a new man who probaly loves the child like his own…if the child father wanna say sum about it he better tell his ex or he might get knock tf out by the boyfriend…cuz not all men are the way yall think they are…she is the mother of the child an if the child not complainin about anything folly why make a scene…u eh wah start that war with the CHILD REAL MOTHER…bat in yuh crease.
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Hell no that so wrong on so many levels I would say something she old enough to sleep in her own bed
You let the Department of child servives know asap
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I started a war with my x and his GF over this. I in a tone that said do it again I’ll cut you. Told her and him what would happen if that happened again. So the next time my daughter visited came back happy saying she had her own room at dad’s.
Bout let child services know and report this and that some of yall sound so bitter eh exactly what is gonna be done the child is in the bed with her mother also…she didnt say the child being sexually abused or anything…smfh if is my child an i want my child on the bed with me an my man you tellin me that i cant let that happen no police or child services can stop me from doin that… the mentality of some ppl eh…the child is not being interfered with an her mother is there…
Ooh hell NO…fuck feeling WTF…What’s wrong with ppl damn !!!
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It’s illegal for a school age child to not have their own bed; and you can not legally have a boy and a girl of school age in the same room. Most definitely needs addressed ASAP.
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I don’t usually comment on large groups however as a mom, I understand your concern. Is her Mom an aware mom, would she put her child at risk? Is the child showing signs of trauma or sharing information that there is any form of abuse going on? Is she happy in this mans company? Is this man long term or a new entity in their lives. Everyone wants to jump on the moral band wagon, and dictate but not all men are abusers.
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I’m struggling with that issue too. “Daddy won’t let me sleep in my own bed. He makes me sleep with him.” He is EIGHT years old.
I hope men are seeing how you women think all of them are…smfh well i clearly see here how many women cannot trust their man…yall should just remain single…yall judgin a man you dont know…just sad…
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Ok here’s once a single mom of both a boy and girl (I’m now remarried) First off not ok in anyway for a child to be sleeping in an adults room let alone with a adult at that age…my honest opinion the biological father need to definitely have a talk with the mom. The safety of the child comes first period who cares if it starts a fight or whatever that’s his job as the parent to fight for what isn’t right…but in all honesty you need to stay out of it…you can voice your opinion privately with him but let him deal with her. That’s not your job it’s his. It’s their child and they need to work out what’s best for her. And calling cps if you haven’t talked to the mom is way unnecessary. If after talking to the mom it doesn’t stop that’s when you take further legal action.
When my husband moved in with me, my babies were 10, 6 and 3. On occasion my 6 year old daughter and 3 year old son would sneak in our room in the middle of the night and cuddle me on my side of the bed. It was never an issue for us. I also knew that my babies did this at their dads too with his girlfriend. They are only little for so long and soon wont want those cuddles… I would definitely find out more info before making a stir, is this on occasion from a bad dream or restlessness? Is boyfriend encouraging it? Is she sleeping on the outside of the bed or in the middle? Is she uncomfortable in her own room? Etc… lots of questions to be asked! Good luck mama!
Whats wrong with that?. As long as the boyfriend of her mother treat her as his own child
Just like my situation me and my daughter sleep with him in one room…
These comments, just wow.
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CPS!!! Needs to be involved if it’s not already to late
I feel like we are not getting the story in its entirety
Ugh, off this thread, the fact that several women seem to be fine with letting their boyfriends in bed with their little girls is unbelievable. Y’all just hoping your girls get molested aren’t ya? Lord knows your making it very easy for a smooth talking man who hey, doesn’t SEEM like a pedo, (and you would know because it’s tattooed on their foreheads right?) so therefore surrre go ahead and hop into bed with my girl! 
yah ok
That’s a bit weird. One of them needs to get their own bed…yesterday!
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having had adult males in my bed as a child im gonna go with WTF.OH HELL NO GET THAT KID OUT OF THAT BED.START A SHITSTORM
My friend had a similar issue, it was his daughter. They had slept in the same bed for awhile but now she was 8. So, I just said to ask his daughter if she wanted him in the same bed and it turns out, she didn’t want him in the same bed. So, my advice ask the kid what they think of that but don’t make it a thing.
My eldest daughter would lay in bed with my husband whose not biologically his as well as my youngest who is. I mean if he hasnt been in her life long them yeah definetly a problem and its somethig you shouldnt be afraid to speak up about thats your child you should raise hell without question.
Call the authorities…FUCK NO
Um… Call DCFS. There is no rational reason for this.
Hell no way stop visitation ASAP and contact his lawyer
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EIGHT ?!??!? Wtf!!!?
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She’s 8 years old? I’d be starting something. Without hesitation
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Stop it fool, bf going to be doing daughter, pervert…
There are too many holes in this. How long they been together? Is the actual dad aware? Are they all sleeping in the bed together or just the dad n child
Don’t jump to conclusions, but just talk to them and express your concerns. If the 8 yr old told you she’s uncomfortable then I would call cps. Some step parents are loving and caring. If he’s been with your ex only for a few months that is a big no. If they have been together for awhile I’d talk to them. Also the 8 year old is old enough to sleep In her own bed. Talk to the 8 yr old about someone touching or hurting her. I hope this is resolved peacefully but if not just prepare to fight. Much luck to everyone
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I’m inclined to agree with Devi Anita Ragoo, what kind of men do you people have in your life? If I thought for a second that my child wasn’t safe around someone, they would not be in my life. Maybe this step father loves his step daughter like his own. Maybe she has nightmares and he consoles her. Just because a man isn’t related by blood does not mean he cares any less. Step parents MOST of the time are more concerned for children than their own parents. Anyone who would call cps because a mother lets her child sleep with her should be ashamed of themselves. Cps is for children who are actually being abused. Not for goody two shoes who want to take time and resources away from children who actually need them. It’s no wonder our country is in the shape that it’s in, with people like yall running around loose.
Too many left out pieces here for an actual judgement.
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This is going to sound wrong, after having my daughter legally kidnapped for trying to protect her in relation to similar circumstances, I’d anonymously report it and leave it at that, otherwise you get accused of making false accusations whether or not you have evidence or other witnesses or you get accused of trying to alienate the other parent!
No way! This is NOT appropriate! 
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DCFS a child is supposed to have their own bedroom with a door that can lock! If you’re uncomfortable enough to ask this the answer is easy DCFS!!
Forgive me please but…BITCH WHAT THE FUCK!!
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Fuck no!! They should be in their own bed? It’s creepy try to talk with the mom xplain that it make you feel unconfortable…
Don’t remember ever sleeping in the same bed with my mom or dad. Doesn’t sound right
That’s just a stupid idea. She’s probably giving her daughter to the wolf. That’s putting her daughter in danger.
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How we’ve turned into thinking all men are sick perverts has be shook. This man could’ve been in bed with HIS GF and the child could’ve crawled in bed with them. Or the child might be sharing the bed with them. Has ger behavior changed? Has she said anything about him making her uncomfortable? Is this man a sex offender or has a record? Gettng CPS involved without knowing the facts could ruin this child’s life. How about you let her parents talk it out and you just supoort your husband. How are single mothers meant to mo e on with helicopter step parents watching their every move? Annnddd…how do you knkw their sleeping arrangements? NOT ENOUGH INFO TO GIVE SOUND ADVICE.
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Not acceptable no matter what.The fact that you are asking strangers advice on social media makes me question YOUR ability as a parent.
End of story.
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Resolve it amicably with honesty nothing to do with malice , suspicious and assumptions but the appropriate way , looking at the fathers point of view . If his intention is clean and innocent and no malicious , he will get it and won’t react negatively about it
it IS inappropriate. idc what dumbass story somebody tells… even CPS will penalize a BIOLOGICAL PARENT for sleeping in the same bed as their kids over the age of 4… I would honestly ask the daughter if it makes HER uncomfortable, & if so, straight up tell the mother that her daughter is uncomfortable.
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Firstly, if there is only the 1 bed and the child sleeps in it with the mom and boyfriend - are the mom and boyfriend having sex in that bed while the child sleeps in it. Secondly, a boyfriend is changeable so it is basically letting a stranger sleep in the bed with your daughter in it. Thirdly, is there no couch for the child to sleep on? The mother is recklessly endangering this child. As for people commenting about ‘not all men are abusers’ and such - people wake up. Own fathers are abusing their children. We live in a sick depraved world. As much as we can trust even our baby daddy- a mothers inbred instinctive responsibility is to protect her babies. And there are things that allow for abuse to occur and one of those things is trusting people you barely know just because ‘you love him’. And even if you know him forever, a child has a right to dignity, privacy and protection.
I feel like to much info is missing to give a valid opinion.
My mom met my step dad when i was 13. All I know is when I got horribly sick, he was there. Hed check on me, sit with my while i slept so if i started throwing up he was there to help. Not every situation is a bad one. Also remember stepmom and dad are getting info from an 8 year old so it may have been more innocent then what we fear it is.
At NO time should the opposite sex be sleeping with a child of that age for any reason. Your husband needs to talk to his ex and make it clear that if it happens again that your husband will report her to CPS and the child will not visit till the issue is resolved. Letting her go there puts you both in danger also of losing custody, protect yourself and seek a lawyer for legal advice in protecting the child and yourselves. Good Luck.
WTH? NO WAY! Contact your attorney immediately!
WTF. Not acceptable in the least . need intervention and change NOW. CPA needs to do a background check and check this out.
I have too many questions to give advice on this
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Good ass kicking would stop it
Is this a long term boyfriend, or does she switch up weekly?? Personally, I think this is something your husband should be dealing with n not you…I understand your concern, but why ask a bunch of social media strangers?? I know there’s a lot out there now about child predators,but not every man out there is one…(and even insinuating that something is happening without any proof could really mess up both the man and the child, especially if he is completely innocent)…again,IMO, I think this is something that your husband n his ex need to discuss if he has a problem with it…
I’m curious does this 8 year old BABYgirl lives with her mom 90% of the time & this was an isolated incident & she came back & told her dad & you?
Did this baby get scared & say momma I’m scared can I sleep with you tonight??
Do she come over to your house, her dad new wife & sleep in you all bed as well?
Soo many people saying call DCFS BUTTTT sometimes calling before her dad truly investigate can put that baby in a horrible situation…
They will automatically take her from that home & not necessarily put her with you all…
INVESTIGATE 1ST…
TALK WITH ALL PARTIES INVOLVED… IS HER MOM TRIFLING & PUTTING THEIR CHILD IN HARM’S WAY…
IS YOUR HUSBAND VINDICTIVE & WANT FULL CUSTODY… BEFORE EVEN COMING TO SOCIAL MEDIA HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HANDLING THAT…
PROTECTING YOURSELF & YOUR CHILDREN COMES 1ST NOT PUTTING YOUR BUSINESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA…
YOU COULD CALLED PROFESSIONAL HOTLINES anonymously to get more concrete professional answers for a resolution…