Oh the red flags are waving at hurricane force.
That would be a HELL NO.
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Feeling don’t matter when it’s regarding parenting. Flat out tell her that’s not appropriate and it needs to stop
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Feelings grow back. Fuck that mess
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Tell her it’s against the child custody laws! And she can be taken back to court if she continues to allow it.
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IIIIIIIIII would be ready to fight for real. That is so sick
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This sounds like one of those horrible news stories where the little girl ends up molested and geez nobody knows why it happened… duh no no no
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There is no sugar coating on this situation. You just come out and say it cus no way in fucking hell should that be alright. Especially if your daughter doesn’t feel comfortable
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If the boyfriend doesn’t think its inappropriate then something is wrong with him and she needs to be looking for a new man.
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That’s gross and straight up wrong!!
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Um this needs to be reported to the police for a wellness check and CPS for a home evaluation. NO GROWN MAN should be sleeping in the same bed with an 8 year old ESPECIALLY one who is not his. Id be on the phone with a lawyer and child services. Not ok and shame on the mom!
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Not no but hell no that is unacceptable. The only way I would see it being okay is if mom was in the middle and the child is next to mom that’s it definitely not alone and not something that should be consistent.
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Start. That. War. Seriously before this child is groomed and possibly abused. It may be innocent and really nothing or this guy could be waiting for an opportunity to molest the child. I’d put a stop to it ASAP or contact child services if it continues.
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8 years old??? Um, you lose your shit. Yup, LOSE YOUR SHIT!
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I mean it’s her house so you really can’t stop her
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Tell her straight up you don’t find it appropriate and you want it to stop immediately
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Have you asked why? Why would an 8 yr old be sleeping in bed with an older man?
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8 years old?! That little girl is getting or is going to get molested
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Fuck everybody’s feelings. There’s a time to flip your shit and that time is now.
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If it were me there would be blood. Hell to the no!
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Hurt feelings?? You out of your mind!!?? Stop it ASAP
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As a step mum to an 8 year old boy who has on occasions crept into bed with me and his dad while we slept I say talk to them. Find out the circumstances. Sometimes kids climb in and you don’t know until you wake. Going in guns a blazing wil cause conflict and the only one who gets hurt then is the child. I’m sure an adult convo about the concerns would be more than enough for everyone to come to an agreement xx
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I would call cps and the police for a home check as well as ask the ex why
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Disgusting and totally inappropriate
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Totally inappropriate I would definitely have to step up and put a stop to it
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Whoever wrote this needs to contact CPS and a counselor for the child. That’s scary and dangerous
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He needs to call the mom and tell her he is not comfortable with their daughter sleeping in the same bed as a grown man. I’m sorry but most men would not be ok with their girlfriends daughter sleeping next to him, especially with the way so many men are accused of sick things.
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Like between her n him?? I’m confused or just him?
You don’t want to hurt any feelings?! What about the little girl’s feelings, especially if something inappropriate is going on. Who the hell cares about “hurting feelings” in a situation like that. 
🤦
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I have always co slept with my daughter. she is two. When we go over to my boyfriend’s house we all sleep in the same bed, and sometimes my daughter and I sleep together in the spare bedroom. I would not be doing this if my daughter wasnt a baby. I am pretty sure that it is an actual RULE in family court that a child that age is required to have their own space. Maybe just tell them your concerns and mention that you wouldnt want them to have any consequences happen and state the reason as the family court legal terms about sleeping arrangements
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Recipe for disaster. And yes, he CAN stop her from allowing it. Take it to court.
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Talk to them first. Maybe she just crawled in their bed in the middle of the night.
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First, I feel as though this is something your husband should address. Not you. It’s his child. Secondly, kids crawl in bed with parents all the time. Even at 8. Has the daughter said something that was off…has he touched her inappropriately? Probably not. I would bring it up and have a convo about it. As a mother I’m sure if she thought of felt like something ulterior was going on, she would have stepped in.
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I don’t agree with ANY child sleeping in bed with moms boyfriend/husband or dads girlfriend/wife.
Bio parents, grandparents maybe, or kids blood related siblings yes.
Is there a legal custody agreement?
Maybe court can help
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My daughter is 10, I started dating my bf when she was 8. He is 100% a great guy and loves my kids like I couldn’t imagine. NEVER would I EVER allow him to sleep in the same bed as either of my kids! YOU ARE GOOD TO LOSE YOUR SHIT NOW!
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Is this like the 8 year old only sleeps with boyfriend or the 8 year old crawls into bed at night with him and her mom? I feel like I need more context
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Hurt the feelings, ain’t nobody sleeping in bed with my 8 year old daughter (or son for that matter)
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Kick down doors, contact CPS, slap the ex, get your fckng daughter!!
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I think you need to talk to them civilly first. Is this just coming from the child? Are we talking everyone is sleeping in the bed? Just the two of them? Is this happening because she’s waking up n getting in bed with them? You need more information.
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Has the child given any signs that something has happened? Why is the guy automatically being labeled a pedophile? Just ask for the child to sleep in her own bed, that goes for you and dad too though.
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the child is in bed with mom and BF, like she had a nightmare or whatever? or alone in bed with BF?
if it’s the first, i’d tread lightly. some families are into cosleeping and if the 8year old and mom and BF are all cool with it… it could cause drama. if it’s the second i’d want to know where mom was and how often it happens. and i’d be seriously concerned.
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I mean… is it only the boyfriend and the child??? Or is it all three of them
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you forgo akward feelings for the saftey of your child. I mean do the hard things. You are adults. Being passive when you feel something isn’t right is what manipulators want you to do.
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If you were sleep in bed with son would answers be the same??
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Who’s daughter is it? If it is the ex’s, then I guess it depends on where in the bed she sleeps. Some nights my children sleep with me and my partner. Ages 10, and 6. And sometimes his daughter sleeps with us. She is age 8. He prefers me in the middle for obvious reasons, for both his and my kids, and we have never had a problem. If it is just her and him, it would be a hell no.
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That’s a negative right there…A real man wouldn’t let that happen.
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She could just be crawling in bed during the middle of the night if she has not said anything about him doing things to her I’ll stfu and mind my business what is he jealous a mans taking his place need to grow up find out the real story you whimp…
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HELLLLL TO THE NO!
Last thing I’d worry about is hurting someone’s feelings.
This is NOT ok!!!
Take them to court or back to court and have them write it in as something that isn’t allowed to be done, at all.
Better talk to the child and make sure nothing else is going on.
1 Like
The best thing for YOU to do though really is let her dad and mom discuss this
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Husband should tell them he is uncomfortable with that. If she sleeps on mom side…is it a big deal?
Teach the kid boundaries
My question is…is she sleeping with mom and boyfriend at night? Does she sleep with dad and step mom at night?
3 Likes
Lets just stop at 8 year old has boyfriend…
or am i misreading this?
I feel like this is super vague and has left room for a lot of assuming. Is it on a regular basis? Sometimes my girls wake up in the middle of the night and want to sleep in me and my husbands bed. Or if they’re sick. Or watch movies and fall asleep. If it’s on a regular basis and due to a lack of space, that’s one thing. But if he’s never been inappropriate I really don’t see what can be done considering his ex is also a parent and it’s her house/time.
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I really think it’s situational and you shouldn’t panic. My daughter is four and climbs in bed with me sometimes in the middle of the night but there is no room and I can’t fall back to sleep but I don’t want to bother her either. I’ll leave her in bed with my now husband (we’ve only been together 1.5yrs, but this has been happening since we started living together.) I have step sons and they do the same kind of thing but reversed. It’s really all about the balance of a blended family. If his daughter is saying something other than sleeping is going on, I’d be concerned but just sleeping is no big deal.
9 Likes
Have him talk to the mom about her bf sleeping on the couch. Right now my fiance and i have a 1 bedroom house because were redoing the upstairs. Me and the kids get the room and hes on the couch till its done… Unfortunately for him we have a lot of clothes so his stuff is packed in the kitchen lol
She’s 8 she shouldn’t be sleeping in the bed with anybody mom or dad, boyfriend, cousin, etc.🤷
9 Likes
Is the childs mother in the bed also? Would be really sick if only daughter & mom’s boyfriend. But if the child gets scared, or wakes up during the night, mom should lay in bed with daughter in daughters bed. I would have someone to talk to her to make sure she hadn’t been molested.
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Does she sleep in the bed with you (step mom) and your husband? Is it him having a problem with it or you?
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No brainer call the police
Why is she in bed with them from the start? And the dad needs to talk to the mom??? If the in uncomfortable with it then he needs to take it up with her Mother. And 9 out of 10 it wont start a war or hurt people feeling. I’m pretty sure the mom is not letting her sleep in between both of them. There is a reason the 8 year old is getting in the bed is it every night? Is it when she sick? Is she getting in it by her self when they are asleep? Is she being told to get in the bed ? I mean she is 8 so asking those questions and finding out before jumping to staff that is not even crossing people minds or getting all piss I would ask and talk to the mother but the father needs to do it… and 8 is not to old to be cuddling with parents my 8 year old cuddles with me when she is sick.
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Completely inappropriate. Dad needs to speak to Mom.
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No. It could be innocent but it’s not appropriate.
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Is the mother in the bed too?
If the child was to climb into your bed beside you and your husband, would that be a problem?
People are quick to jump to the worst case scenario and make strong accusations, which isn’t right, all facts have to be brought into consideration before jumping to conclusions. It could be innocent, but I also know appropriate precautions have to be made.
If you and your husband are uncomfortable and concerned then maybe the right thing to do with it is speak to them about it rather than bring it to the internet.
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Does she sleep in the same bed as you and her dad?
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I would Not allow that.
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Sounds like jealousy going on. For one its not your buisness if dad has an issue he needs to put his big boy pants on and address the issue.
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Jesus… thankfully I re-read that!
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Is there reason to believe she isn’t “safe”? Wondering why she jumps right to the “I want my child to be safe” since when is it inappropriate for a child to sleep next to an adult “father” figure? Also, how long has the child known the boyfriend? Kids are great judges of character, if she feels safe enough to snuggle up next to him and he cares for her embrace it!!! The more people to love a child, the better!!!
Just my opinion!
10 Likes
That is SOOOOOOO WRONG!!!
1st off- That is THEIR child…Not yours.
2nd- Your husband needs to grow a fucking pair & speak to his ex regarding sleeping arrangements for their child.
3rd- Assuming the child is not safe is going to start a war period. Specially if the boyfriend has done nothing wrong. Also…how long has this man been in her life. Has he raised her for years because if he has raised her as his own…they may not see anything wrong with it. Communication is KEY!
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Inappropriate on every level🤬
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Is the mom there too?? I let my 8 year old in my bed with my new husband but only if I was in the bed- and I was in the middle!! This child is 26 now- and fine.
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Ummm screw their feelings! Protect your child! Tell them exactly how you feel. You need to talk to them and look into this!
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Not appropriate at all…even if they husband n wife …the bed is for mom dad it your personal intimate space not appropriate have a child in bed …
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Does your husband let his daughter curl up with, or sleep in the same bed as you? If she wanted to snuggle up or had a nightmare, or just wanted to cuddle? Need answers to these questions.
Is his ex in a committed relationship with someone she trusts, who is helping her raise her daughter as his own?
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do you want not to hurt feelings or to not start a war or do you want to protect the child somebody needs to do something before it is too late
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If mom is in the bed too then I don’t see a problem?
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Well damn… Everybody is saying call cps smfh. So you are all saying if your daughter had a nightmare or was scared or just wanted snuggles with her mom she wouldn’t be able to sleep with you bc your boyfriend is there? Like unless his daughter says something is wrong or is acting strange like it’s really not any of your business.
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I was molested by my mums husband as a teenager. It happens a lot. Definitely better to be safe than sorry
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All you ladies saying it’s not a problem: I call Bullshit. Let one of you find out that your son is comfortable sleeping in the bed curled up with Daddy’s new girlfriend… Be real, what say you now?
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Dad needs to say something to her. I personally would NEVER allow my kids to sleep in bed with me and another man. In my opinion it’s VERY inappropriate… Bad things can happen, whether you trust the person or not. You’d be surprised how many sickos are out there… Including some you trust.
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If they are both in the bed then what’s the problem? Even if she ducked out to make coffees I don’t see the issue. What is she supposed to do? Tell the kid no you can’t have cuddles right now cause so and so is here in the bed or kick her bf out of the bed? I think you are making a big deal over nothing TBH. Those that are saying “do something now before its too late” need to chill
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I guess I need more info. How long have the mother and bf been together? Is he a random bf or someone that’s been around long term? The child may have a father/ daughter relationship with him
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I would bet that people who are automatically assuming that it is inappropriate were victims of inappropriate situations, or did not have a father figure that they could trust. Smh. Not all men are evil. Period.
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He’s just gonna have to say something to his ex about it. When my husband and I got together he had a 3 year old daughter and I never felt comfortable enough for her to sleep in the bed with us.
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Aw…Nah…Fuck That…
Screw not starting a war or other shit…I would be staring all kinds of wars…when it would have to do with my child’s welfare…Screw worrying about hurting ppl’s feeling…and I don’t give a shit if she wasn’t “my” daughter…I would STILL SAY SOMETHING…GO WITH YOUR GGGUUTT…!!!
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The amount of comments defending this disgusts me…
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Do you lay in bed with said child too 
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Totally unacceptable
No fecking way. Snuggle with mom. Not boyfriend. No. Under no circumstances.
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If history and the news has taught us ANYTHING, it’s that this should be an immediate NO. Unacceptable and inappropriate even if it’s “innocent”. I would not worry about hurt feelings when it comes to a child’s wellbeing and safety.
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Dad needs to address it and if nothing is done threaten court
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Hell no !!! Your husband need to address this ASAP than go to court and get custody
personally 8 years old is too old…my kids slept in bed with me and when my fiance started sleeping over they’d start off in bed with us and we moved my oldest who was 3 to her own room. and then when my middle was 9 months she went to her own bed in our room then a 2 she went to share her sisters room… I don’t think any kid past 3 should be in their parents bed or room…
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Some of you ladies are doing way too much and not giving the mother of the child enough credit. Some of these comments saying call cps or labling this man a PEDO is just sickening
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Good luck. Apparently you cant give opinion without people going crazy about it and throwing it way out of context. Bottom line, if you are uncomfortable with it, then say something.
I dont cuddle my kids in bed. We sit on the couch or floor for however long they need to cuddle.
If it makes you uncomfortable or you and dad uncomfortable, say something
I had the same issue with my ex. Lawyer said I cant do anything about it. I can only express how I feel. My ex doesn’t care. He sees nothing wrong. They were only together 2 months when he did this…
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Protect the child at any cost. If necessary, start a war. This is definitely WRONG. She should be considered IN DANGER. Stop this behavior NOW.
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Let your husband and his ex figure that out. It’s none of your business.
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My man and I have a blended family. My bonus children are age 9, 7, 6 & 2. The ONLY one of them that EVER sleeps with US (not even just me) is the 2 yr old when he’s sick.
The 9, 7, and 6 year olds are just fine. You had a bad dream? I’ll tuck you in and scare away any monsters, but you’re staying in your own bed. You can’t sleep? Count sheep, read, watch some tv. You don’t feel good? I’ll gladly lay with you until you fall asleep, but then I’m going to my own bed.
Have your hubby express his concerns and explain he isn’t comfortable with it and would like it to stop. It is what it is, that’s his kid. Even if it’s harmless- who cares. It’s his kid. He don’t like it, it shouldn’t happen anymore. Period.
Your husband can talk with his ex about it, but ultimately, you can’t decide what they do or don’t do. Unfortunately, I have sneaking suspicion she won’t change a thing even if you bring it up. She just won’t confess to it. How long have they been together? Is he a father figure? Are they close? There’s a lot of factors here.
My fiance isn’t my older son’s bio dad, but he’s been around since birth and even now at 6 years old, sometimes they’ll nap together. I trust him wholeheartedly. But a new boyfriend, I would not.
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Is mom on bed at the same time? How long has the boyfriend been in the picture? How does the 8 year old feel about it? Does boyfriend have his own kids? Do you lie in bed with the 8 year old when she is at your house? There is so much more we would need to know before anyone could give you good, reliable advice. If boyfriend is a good safe person that has been around for a few years and the child is ok with it then what is the problem? Maybe he wants her to feel like they are a family. If he is new to the picture and you feel something is off then have your husband politely say something.
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