I’d say if he has children who live in this home, then he should do it for free. I agree it’s frustrating but the kids live there too. It’s not just something that she will benefit from. If she has all this money to buy things I definitely wouldn’t be handing out extra cash on top of child support.
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No she should pay him. He pays child support ? And takes care of his kids on his time? She needs to come out of pocket she would have to pay any other plumber. It’s not like she was nice and didn’t put him on child support. That’s fine he could be making money. Women like that expect everything done for them. So lazy and inconsiderate. Let her find another plumber and try not to pay them if she doesn’t have hot water in the house the kids can stay with the parent that does.
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I wouldn’t have a problem with this, his children live there and he should help out if he can. When he fixes stuff for you around the house when it goes does he charge you?. I’m a strong believer are actions to our ex’s results in how our children’s relationships will be. When it comes down to it, its how the husband feels about it and if he wants to do it or not. Like I said before his kids live in that house as well, and how do you know there is nothing wrong with it?. Have you been there to see if it needs changed or not. Just because it’s working right now doesn’t mean it dose not need to be change. There could be problems with it as you guys did have that big freeze.
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Let your husband help her.
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His kids live there. Why make her pay? He’s their dad, still her family like it or not.
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Lol sorry but since this is a WANT and not a NEED, it isn’t for his kids… she can pay for his labor too at a discounted rate at best… just saying🤷🏼♀️ just cause you have kids with someone doesn’t mean you’re in debt with them forever. Dumb. Now if her water heater was broke and she needed it done, heck yeah do it for free and maybe even pay part of the parts.
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If it is NEEDED and benefits his children that live there him installing it for free shouldn’t be an issue. Now, if it is not needed, like she does not need a new water heater, I’d say she can wait until his time is free. Him doing the labor for free shouldn’t be an issue because it would still benefit his children.
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How do you know her tank is fine? Maybe she doesnt have enough hot water for baths…laundry…dishes. I have a huge tank…new…and am thinking of a tankless since between 3 kids bathing…laundry …dishes. There is never enough hot water
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People! Read the last sentence. It even says her heater is fine, this is just a WANT. If it was actually broken, I would say yes do it for free but it’s not. The man pays his child support and takes care of his kids. He can fit her on his schedule when he doesn’t have paying customers.
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Ex is taking advantage. Wanting an UPGRADE is NOT for the kids. That’s a want. Wants should not be paid for by an ex just bc you have kids. I have 3 and I would never ask for something unnecessary or that expensive just be handed to me simply bc I have his child in my house. She’s being selfish bc if she really wanted that, she would have paid for that when she had money. Instead she bought more wants. And now wants it for free. That would be a hard no! The kids can take warm/hot showers right now. They are not suffering from their mom not getting a FREE BRAND NEW water heater. I agree with you. NOTHING is free. It comes from someone’s pocket.
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Everyone saying “his kids live their” yes they do but the water heater they have is fine!!! What if he was not a plumber? Then she’d have to pay! If the water heater went out & IT NEEDED to be replaced that is different!
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Sounds more like jealousy. You seem more mad that she is able to do all those things. Would you make him charge his parents? Your parents? Your siblings? It’s not like he’s buying it or paying for it, just installing it. Sure it’s time but I do believe that should be up to him to decide if he wants her to pay. His kids love their and also benefit from it.
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That home is also his children’s home. He SHOULD be installing it for free
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Really it is up to your husband if he wants to do it. You tell him he can’t or you don’t want him to you will be the bad guy. Pick your battles.
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No no and no I don’t care if he’s the kids dad and if he’s a plumber. She shouldn’t have any thoughts about him installing the water heater at all. In my opinion it confuses the kids and they see that mommy and daddy are fine together why did they split??? She has to stay in her lane and him in his. I had a similar experience that my husband’s ex called for her car issues he helped but I flew into him about it later that’s her deal not his at all I had to put it in prospective for him if the shoe was on the other foot would he let me do for my ex and not feel a certain way?? I bet he would so I feel for you too because it’s not going to be once and done now if he does something for her it will be multiple times it’s crazy how that works but it’s true I put my foot down and so should you! It’s about setting boundaries.
She buys the parts and supplies dinner for both of you and the beer and the job is done after hours. This is how professional friends help out their other friends around here
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I don’t think it’s about the money or anything like that. I think it’s about showing the kids that he is still decent to their mom.
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It would honestly be nothing for him to do it and that is his kids mother. The fact that we are asking the man to charge her when his kids live there and he seems to be okay with doing it, is heartless and very hypocritical.
Now if timing is an issue and it’s not an emergency, he can say he can do it when business is slow.
But seriously dissecting what a want vs a need for someone who is an extension of the family when most the post on here are complaints about how men don’t do shit. 
His children benefit from that upgrade, he was asked to install it NOT purchase it. He should absolutely help the MOTHER of his children, Like it OR not she is Family. You speak of expensive purchases BUT I happen to know first hand that Nice things are sold for next to nothing on FB market place. There was a really nice pool table listed for FREE in Cypress, treadmills are constantly being listed for FREE . I was GIVEN a 60 inch smart TV yesterday she upgraded and nobody in her family had use for it. Dad has a list of paying customers so helping the Mother of his children ISNT going to BREAK him, YOU should be Encouraging thier co parenting relationship NOT dismantling it.
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I believe he should do it after he gets done with paying customers
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Those who are saying “it’s her ex husband, he can help her” key word here EX HUSBAND. Look girls, I’m an ex wife, y’all ask to much. He has no responsibility to this woman unless it’s for his children, if she doesn’t have hot water, that’s one thing. However, it’s clear from the post that she has the means to buy it herself. A judge would tell y’all the same thing. They’re divorced and unless it’s about the children she shouldn’t be bothering him. There are people out there with busted pipes and NO RUNNING WATER. Ex wife is last on the list with this one. He’s doing a job, thus he needs to be paid. Just cause she laid on her back a few times with him and made some kids with him doesn’t mean he owes her anything. I agree with wife on this one, she’s using him to her advantage. If you can buy all that new fun stuff for your house, you can buy a new water heater as well and pay like the rest of us. Reminder ladies, just because we are the mother of our children. Does not mean we are entitled to certain privileges because of those kids. Yes, we deserve respect and if we financially are in crisis they help with expenses for the kids. But, when we separate from old partners, they are no longer responsible for our needs. My ex husbands a plumber, my garbage disposal is broke and I need it fixed, guess who I called and paid to have it done? Not my ex husband because it’s not his responsibility. We’ve been divorced for a year and meets his ends for certain things we agreed on. I don’t need him fixing my stuff, I’m by all means capable and able to do it myself. So why is she looking for a way to save her a buck?
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My ex married the 2nd time for money and when she was selling the house we lived in the realtor told her she needed to put a new roof on the garage, rafters and all.
My girl friend, now wife helped me do the work over the weekend. She sold the house I got my portion of the profit.
All for adults stepped back and did what’s best for the kids and we sometimes vacation together.
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It may be a want but who is to say the water heater she has is in perfect working condition? We have a hot water heater that takes forever to heat up but a tankless water heater is almost instant. It helps to cut down the cost of your water bill. It’s expensive and not many people know how to install them properly. So, to make sure it is properly done, I would want him to go and do it for the sake of the children.
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I would and have looked though my children eyes too see things differently.
When it comes to the ex’s I don’t want the children to say I had bad feelings towards anyone! If he choose to work on it for free than so be it. We want our children to be better human beings than ourselves and you will teach them that by your actions 
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He should be doing it. That is his childrens home and I would do anything for the father of my child because when we had our children that was a lifelong commitment to those children. This in no way takes away from how he feels about the family he has with you and you should care about the home these children go to when they are not in your home. These are your children too. Geez
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I openly encourage my husband to do good deeds. Not just for me, but for everyone important to him. If his ex called and asked for help, I would simply ask that he not let it get in the way of other duties, same as if any other person important to us asked. Because yes, the mother of my step child is just as important to us as any other family member!
How do you know her tank is fine? How many times have you been the third person to shower at her house with the dishwasher running?
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its all based on everyones level of maturity
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Id say keep the peace.ask your hub how he feels about doing it for free if hes ok then you should let it go. Hes not with her but if they have kids together its a good thing for the kids to see dads willingness to help his childrens mom.my ex hub was a hvac. Repair man and he fixed many things in my home for free.i appreciated it, our kids appreciated, his new wife was so angry and yes jealous. I didnt want him.but he shared his gift of being able to fix our furnace for us instead of me paying someone alot of money.he extended a kindness to me.i think we could all use having more kindness extended to us. Let it go
Tell your hub he is a good man.
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I would think it depends on their relationship as co-parents. My children’s dad came and fixed things at my house and on my car when ever I needed something free of charge when we were separated (2 years). He also co-signed for my car and we passed money back and forth to make sure everyone’s financial needs were met without any bills being late because we believe if one parent drowns in debt it effects the kids. Being co-parents is still being a team so nothing wrong with showing your kids that family helps family 
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Spare me the “show the children the good” bs mumbo-jumbo and maybe show them to not stand for people (ESPECIALLY FAMILY) taking advantage of them. Your husband deserves to be compensated for his time and skills PERIOD
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I say if they have children involved he should do it for free because at that point he’s not doing it for her he’s doing it for his kids.
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That’s their MOTHER. And you’re being extremely jealous!! Imagine if you cut hair for a living and then charged to cut your stepsons hair. I insist my boyfriend help his ex wife anytime he can. Why? Bc it’s the RIGHT thing to do!
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Sounds pretty shitty of her not to offer any compensation. This really depends a lot on their relationship… Ideally, they should be helping each other out when possible as co-parents. In that case, he should do it when it’s convenient for him and think of it as something he’s doing for his kids. If her current water heater is working though, she goes to the back of the line, when he has time to spare. But if she has a habit of taking advantage and is not in a tight spot, he needs to say no. No more free plumbing if it’s not a necessary job. She lost that luxury when they split.
Its his children’s home so he should do it but with that being said it should be done after his paying customers.
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Its for his children. If he wants to do it let him 🤷 i wouldnt put it 1st of the line but definitely for the benefit of the kids he could do it.
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He has children with her. Which means those children need a water heater. It sounds like you’re just being really bitter honestly.
He should do it if it’s his children’s house, paying child support itself doesn’t take care of all his responsibilities as a father. If he wasn’t a plumber, then I say they both split the cost to do it and pay someone else. Child support only pays for so much. I have two little girls with my husband, but he has another daughter from a previous relationship. I always tell my husband it is not about money, it’s about love, respect and being a good human being. Help him be the best father he can be to ALL his children, life pays back 
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I think if it was just an ex no children involved then yea, charge her. But since it is his children’s mother I think he should do it for free
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I would have to say that you’re in the wrong. I definitely see your point, however, the kids are the only thing that matter and those kids need hot water. My SO does heating/AC and his son’s mother was having issues with hers, he went to check it out for her to make sure it wasn’t dangerous for their child and her and fixed it. She did stick 100$ in his pocket while he was leaving but she didn’t need to and he didn’t ask her to. He was able to help so he did 
you became a part of their village when you married him.
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It’s his time, his business knowledge, his skill set…let him decide. If I was him I must certainly would do it for free…it’s for his kids well being!
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You have a right to feel uncomfortable. Let him know how you feel . You are his wife now . But don’t tell him he can’t do it bc at the end of the day it’s for his kids I’m hoping .
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People are waiting 3 weeks or more for plumbers because of the deep freeze. That heater can wait till everything gets back to normal. 3 months down the road.
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Idk how does he feel about it? I mean it’s the mother of his children and they live there. I wouldn’t do it though till his done with his paying customers. If she wants it done for free she has to wait.
I don’t see anything wrong with him doing it. His kids live there it’s showing them good values, why wouldn’t he want to help out the mother of his kids?
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From the business side of things paying customers should come first. If it’s an emergency and his kids don’t have hot water to use then it would be a bit different
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Theres nothing wrong with the one she has so this isnt a necessity…its a want so she should have to pay for it. That man did not build that business to give away services for free.
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I’m with you on this one. I deal with a similar situation daily. My bf has a lazy ex wife who tries to use the “ it’s for your kid” string… even though she uses the more than enough child support on other things instead of what is really needed. These dads are just EXPECTED to do everything because that’s their kid and these women take advantage because they know they can. I say put your foot down and call her out… his kid is his responsibility… but SHE no longer is!! She’s gotta figure it out sooner or later!!
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They are called ex for a reason.
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Sooo you think that children always cost the same $300 ( or whatever he gives)?? You think they don’t have extra things they need, in this case it’s the water heater and he can do it, so why charge if it’s his children’s house? You should let them two figure out the costs and stay out of it 
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Seriously he’s blessed with so much extra work in this time when so many people don’t have work and this is yalls attitude?? Daaammm
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If there were no kids involved, I’d tell her to kick rocks on the free shit but, they have children together. If the need isn’t dire, push her to the bottom of the list but, there’s nothing wrong with him helping out for his kid’s sake.
Just because she’s an ex and has his kids doesn’t mean she gets things for free, it doesn’t work that way. You can pay just like everyone else.
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He is the father of her children… he is more than capable of installing this for her… what you have a problem with him being not only a good person but good to not only her but the children he has with her! Put yourself in her shoes and see if you still feel the same. It’s a fucking water heater for god sakes… the children need it:woman_facepalming:
Since nothing is wrong with the other one. She can wait her n the kids has water. And him doing it free no I wouldn’t allow that since there is nothing wrong with the other one. I would split the cost of what it is in half. And make her pay that. If she dont like it then she can contact someone else. He pays child support and doing just as much with 50/50 custody. So she not hurting cause he puts just as much time in as she does.
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If he has spare time, I would say ok, he’s helping the mother of his children, but if he’s swamped, it can wait since there’s no emergency to have it replaced.
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You sound out of line. 
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That’s his children’s home too, he should do it. He is a plumber but he’s also a father first.
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Until those kids are 18 you better just suck it up buttercup. Life is those kids and what that momma wants you best just give in or she could make trouble by using them. Easier just to get along get it done and move on to her next want.
Just go with him and be his helper lol and use HONEY, SWEETIE, LOVER yep it will give her the message
There’s a difference between need and want.
I am in Houston, those paying customers of your husband’s are in need, as it was literally hell here!
However, she is the mother of your bonus kids so give and take is the nature of that relationship.
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It’s for his children. So if he is ok with not charging then don’t charge. But it should wait until after the emergencies are taken care of.
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Do his kids live there? If so think its probably more for the kids.
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He has children with this woman, so I would think he would help
I would tell hubby how I feel about it and throw some options in but I would ultimately leave the choice up to him.
- if she REALLY wants it done for the price of the water heater, AND the one she has now is just fine, she needs to wait until the paying customers are all taken care of. Or…
- She can pay what all the other customers are paying and get it done sooner.
But that’s just me
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I’d have her pay. Regardless, of whose mother she is, she’s a customer wanting a job done just as everyone else. I pay my ex husband & his family to do work regardless of his son living with me or regardless if he was behind on child support or not!. Especially if she’s just wanting a replacement if nothing is wrong ith her old water heater there’s no need to replace something right now with everyone else needing assistance.
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She is the mother of his children…of course he should do it for her. My ex husband is a plumber/electrician and does small jobs for us as needed bc its HIS CHILDREN’S HOME. any good father would so that, your petty as needs to mind your own business.
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I think finance wise, its between them because this benefits his kids with her. Now time wise, she shouldn’t be prioritized over paying clients.
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My ex laid my new floors. I paid for all the flooring and crap that goes with it. He didn’t expect me to pay him. I fed him while he was working.
However if her water heater is fine then she can wait until he’s finishes with paying customers/emergencies then do hers but she should pay for the parts most definitely.
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Why wouldn’t he want to help the mother of his children out?!?! What a great example he is setting for their kids. I would be proud of my husband for doing this.
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What if this was the other way around? Would you bring it to social media or not?
Um, i would say when he gets a min to do it but not push back paying customers. Its the mother of his children. I can guarantee if my husband snd i slipt up he would do it for me and the kids.
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I have a tree service company, my ex husband helps me out when my current husband and I need it. He usually asks me for a small tip for his help he doesn’t charge me what a laborer would when he does help. At the end of the day when you have underaged kids the mom and dad have to do what’s best for the child and the home where the child resides.
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Did she buy the system from him? Also whatever happened to friends and family discount? He can choose to do it or not. I’d stay out of it and let him figure it out. Also since her water heater is working it can wait a bit.
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Its for his kids. She should not have to pay for any plumber.
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His kids live in that house. He should charge his ex labor for work that will benefit his own kids? Check your jealousy.
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I would say yesbypu are. And the reason being, his children are there too. They need the heat, hot water etc. And if they have a good coparenting relationship then this shouldn’t be a problem. It might be annoying, but I wish I had a good relationship with my ex for my son’s benefit. And if it came down to it, we would be over there fixing something that would be beneficial to my son when he is there
The kids live with her… Look at it as hes doin it for his kids… If he wants to do it you need to sit down and take a breather and deal… And no she shouldnt be charged what any tom dick or harry off the street would be charged…shes not a stranger shes his babys momma.
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If they have kids together , he better be doing it for free 
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Go with him and enjoy her treadmill. 
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Think of it as he’s doing that for his kids home not hers let him do it but if course on his time off or when he gets a chance not over some paying customer don’t be that bitch and don’t let her get to u best advice is even if its bothering u let it slide don’t act on it specially while mad and don’t take it out on ur hubby that’s exactly what she wants believe me I’m on that same boat
If it’s a want of hers and not a necessity for the kids to have hot water then she needs to pay him like she would anyone else now if it’s to replace a broken hot Water heater then yes he should help out with installing it but not eating the cost of the whole repair she lost the right to call on him for her wants when they divorced only when kids need something should he be called upon she wants an upgraded system then she needs to pay for it because it’s her want not the child’s want and he pays child support for that reason smh
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I’d be laughing at the new wife who wants to charge his kids to install a water heater… funny shit lol.
Mind your own business, let him decide what he deems fair .
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Oh my! You sound bitter. I feel so blessed that my sons step mom & I are so supportive of one another! You sound ridiculous! Why can’t he help the mother of his kid?Family’s should help each other out!
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If it’s not out of necessity and just for convenience, then she should offer to pay at least a portion. Don’t listen to everyone calling you jealous, it’s so easy for people to resort to that. Yes his kids live there half the time, but it’s not a dire situation. Just talk it over with your husband and find a good way to tell her you can’t afford to do it for free.
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Yeah. I’d make her pay.
Capitalism is working at its finest in Texas right now.
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It’s people wanting things for free when they can pay,and also peoples whom expect stuff just handed to them off the backs of people whom work.
Nothing is free,when it comes to living standards. You gotta pay.
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If they have kids together who live in that house he’s not doing it for HER but for THEIR KIDS. If you have a issue with him supporting his children then maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him
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He’s fixing something for HIS CHILD/REN. It isn’t just for her. His kid/s like there.
I think it’s a little annoying that she wants it for free, but I wouldn’t be mad.
In the house his children live in 
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Some of y’all sound bitter. 
Like a man ain’t suppose to help his kids mom regardless. And if he’s okay with doing it for free, yanno the one who actually will be doing the work, it shouldn’t matter.
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His ex- wife should not ask him to do it for free and he should make her pay for it. This has nothing to do with the children living in the house. The children can move in with the father until it’s taken care of.
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If he has 50/50 and paying child support then she can pay for the tank, that’s a huge expense for him to cover. Anyone wonder why these guys charge a lot? Because it’s a lot for them. He can install it for her because at the end of the day it is for his kids as well but she should at least pay for it all, this money thing goes both ways not just for moms. Dad is paying child support while he has to support his house and hers, that’s two houses he’s up keeping. If she isn’t paying you guys any child support then it’s fair for her to pay for her own tank parts and everything. But at least let him do the work so he knows it’s trusted work doing it.
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jealousy is ugly and it does rare it’s ugly head I agree that he probably should put it in for his kids and everything but I think people should be a little more sympathetic every woman out there knows what it’s like to have someone with an ex that shows up or needs this or every time there’s a crisis there they are it’s not healthy for any kind of relationship to have that and now when it comes to something you know that’s realistic like this then yes she should put her feelings in on hold and and let him do it but a lot of times you don’t know the other side of the story how much other stuff that she manipulates the the ex-wife not her so it’s none of my business but just saying
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Your husband’s time isn’t worthless and he should be compensated. Even if he gives her a discount. The fact is, the kids are taken care of, they already have hot water. She wants this, she should pay for it. At the BARE minimum, she should have to wait until after actual paying customers are taken care of.
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Yes he should help out but it’s also 50/50. She can do her part to help out with it as well, not have everything done for her. If she’s constantly asking for extra things to be done then that’s not fair either because she’s taking advantage. She clearly has the funds to help with her part. It’d be a different thing if she’s struggling but trying to do her best.
I’d make her pay for the parts and at least half the labor, because she wants it upgraded and the kids still need hot water… he already pays child support and takes care of his own house as well. His skills are also not worthless, and he deserves to be compensated for his work… But at the same time his children live in that house.
So I say she buys her own parts, and compensates at minimum 50% of the labor costs… also I’d go with and hang out if y’all have a decent relationship
Also I don’t see this as jealousy, this sounds like a woman who understands her husband’s worth. She’s not mad her husband was asked to do it. She sounds more mad he was asked to do it for free, and personally I’d be pissed too if someone had the audacity to ask something like that too 
.
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I think you’re wrong. It’s not just x wife or Gf. It the mother of his children. You kind of have to look at it like she is family. What would you guys do for your family? This is a tough one tho…
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I mean, I have my ex husband help with things, but I offer to pay him (he use to be a mechanic and now he does construction and maintenance). I will say what I offer to pay him isn’t as much as what it would cost me to have someone else do it, but he usually is willing to work with me if he is able to. And my big thing is more having him teach me to do it, so that I can learn how to do things better on my own so I don’t always need his help. Like he fixed my sons (not one of his children) little electric jeep power wheel thing, I paid him 50$ and bought the parts for it. It likely would have costed more to have someone else do it, but he knows that money I don’t have to spend, gets put towards the kids too. So he’s fine with me paying less. I think she should offer some sort of pay for it, not full price, but something for his time and work. It isn’t like it’s a bad hot water tank and his kids don’t have hot water at her house. She just wants an upgrade.
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If it aint broken , he can do it in spurts in free time. But she pays all supplies and and it is done on his tome frame not hers.
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Do you ever do random acts of kindness for people? Sounds like you dont. I get the need to pay your own Bill’s but helping people out is the right thing to do. And your step kids live there. His children. Of course he should be able to do it, especially if he wants to do it for free
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