So just because your married to dad you get to infringe on his private time with his child but you have a problem with mom calling to check on the kid 
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Sorry but if your divorce and only see your kids on weekends then they should be your only priority for said weekend not a girlfriend 
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I’d try tiptoe around it a little at first tell her what your going to be doing and say obvs I can’t have my phone on me the whole time but il take loads of pictures and send them after we’re done doing what we’re doing and try make your replies stretch out longer in time as you go x
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I would set strict boundaries. Offer a bedtime call plus when/if the child wants to contact her. If she has an issue with it, take it to court. Take the emails/text that clearly have nothing to do with the child as well. She is being obnoxious.
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Get it in a court order that she can FaceTime daily but it has to be in the morning when the child wakes up. I only say not at night just because sometimes at night a child just wants to go to bed or even might be the opposite and it’s a fight to get them to bed, so a phone call might be distracting. She can ask what the child did that day the next morning. But also your husband gets the same thing. When she starts getting inconvenienced everyday and has to stop breakfast or whatever she’s doing with the child for your husband to call, maybe she will realize. I’ve had to do this with one of my children and their dad, and my child began to hate it. Eventually they’ll get older and want to continue with what they’re doing instead of talking about the same stuff over and over everyday. Think about it-everyday a child is committed to a 15 minute FaceTime with a parent. It’s got to be annoying for them and super inconvenient.
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Go on a ladies night with her or u, her and her daughter go on a lil pampering session/fun day. Have a good talk with her. Reassure her that her daughter is safe and that u love her daughter too and won’t let anything bad happen. Tell her exactly how u feel too. And understand her, as the mom, how hard it is to let her child away for days at a time. Come up with a plan. I.e instead of face time when on outings, take a couple of photos and a video of her daughter. Maybe face time once in morning and once at night, for a couple of min only. Believe me its not excessive, she must really love her daughter. A lot of bad things are happening around the world, I can understand how she feels. I hope she allows her ex to face time and message her when he wants to see his daughter, its gotta be acceptable on both sides or it isn’t acceptable at all. Because if she has her daughter 80% of the time, she needs to also allow her ex to have alone time with his daughter too.
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Possibly some healthy family mediation?
I agree boundaries need set and she should feel grateful her child is loved and taken care of while there for your 20% of time. My baby was not in an ideal situation and that stuff is so scary when it comes to your child!
Is she in need of therapy for the times she’s away from lo? Maybe she just doesn’t know how to live without lo around so she bugs and it’s not about not being over your hubs? Or it could be both.
If she refuses outside help maybe a few sessions of family counseling to better learn how to handle her and they can (possibly)help get the courts or foc fam evaluater on board that something healthier needs done. I’m not sure if wanna go that length but obviously it’s not good for lo and she’s got some things to work out mentally to be the best mom she can be for the child.
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Ignore the calls and emails 
I would allow 1-2 calls a day as long as the kids and I aren’t doing anything, but if I’m busy or we’re AT THE BEACH… no. I’ll take videos and send them to you or ask “hey do you wanna call mom?” And if they say no then that’s it.
If this was reversed and was a dad acting this way it would be considered controlling and abusive behavior.
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Ill say it, stay in your lane. Bio mom spends 80% of her time with her child and im sure its hard being away from her 
step moms like you give all of them a bad name
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What about face timing 2x/ day? Once in the AM and once in the PM. Hubby should communicate to ex that he doesn’t do that to her, and that he would appreciate if she would respect his time with his son and stick to the set schedule. Ensure this is done via email to have paper trail of this request. Also, he doesn’t need to answer every text message or email from her immediately. He can allow it to wait until later. Send once response back saying “we are busy ss will call later.” Eventually she will get the hint, and if she doesn’t, get a c/o updated to have this set in stone due to infringement on time. Also, is there any way that you can give ss some time to talk to bio mom privately? Or just with dad around at least once a day? Think about it in reverse- if you were in the same situation, wouldn’t you want some time to talk to your child just you and then? 
good luck!
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I say once a day that it after breakfast or before bed a set time. She not coping well that not your problem she need to learn how to fix it. If she can’t respect your boundaries then have a Court set them and give her no choice
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You are a doll.
I so wish my ex would find a woman like you! You have taken her feelings into thought before you act and have been doing it for 3 years! God Bless you!
Im not as nice and would nit deal with most of that. On the other hand the child will see things as they get older.
When and if you do deal with crazy bm you and your husband talk about it then let him take all the action so crazy bm cant point the finger at you.
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That is why she is a good mom take pictures often and send her and keep her updated she will really thank you for that
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husbands ex will not leave us alone when his child is with us: Advice?
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Maybe ask her if he could just talk to her after dinner? That way she can still talk to him but just not when you guys are busy
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Sounds like a real cluster f-‐-- situation to me that will only escalate. My concern would be for the child,she’s in a bad place.If you adults can’t work out something to keep her happy child welfare will eventually intervene and no one will have her except a foster family.Please try to work together for the child’s sake.
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My stepdaughter is 37. We experienced this during her younger years. It caused a big problem for us. Ultimately the mother filled her head with how bad a dad he was and stopped communication as as a young adult. This mom was also still not over the ex even though she was remarried with 3 other children. Selfishly it was a relief to not have to deal with the intrusive woman anymore. But it pains my husband.
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This isn’t about the child. This is a scorn woman who hasnt accpeted that fact the father has moved on. She is using the child as a pawn to manipulate the father so she can remain an intrical part of the father and son relationship… Mom cannot accept that he didn’t choose her the mother of his child to marry. You need to set healthy boundaries that does not allow for mom to contol visits. If you’re waiting for her to respond differently it’s not going to happen. I would not indulge her by facetiming every visit or responding to her emails unless they are pertaining to visitation arrangements or other important issues that are of concerns like medical and school. Your husband has been trying to accommodate her based on guilt. I would sit down with mom and let her know visitations are will not be used to facetime because this time is family time between you three and let her know if there are legitimate concerns they will be addressed when he is picked up and if any emergencies arises while he is visiting she will.be made aware an included on any decisions when needed. Other than that she shouldn’t call or facetime during his time at your house
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If you can talk to the mother of this child to try to understand why she feels the need to constantly check up on you. See if you can reach some sort of agreement like only calling at night.
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When you are having family time turn the phones off. If she does not have the child she does not need to be calling the father who does have that child. After a few times of her not being able to call right thru to the father he needs to tell her what times he will accept calls from her and stick to it. That is HIS time to spend with this child.
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I am trying to put myself in your shoes as well as BM’s shoes? It may not be a matter of her not being over him so much as she is afraid her child will like you more than her. I like the idea of one of the earlier comments. Invite her over get to know each other. Maybe even ask her advice regarding gifts or favorite foods ect. Whatever it takes to keep things peaceful. Parents have to love their kids more than they hate their ex. You are the stepmother but when the child is with you always treat them as if they were yours. Good luck
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Yeah she needs to back off and stop impeding on the child’s access with his father and new family. Its absolutely frikken rude and super controlling. ILet her know he’s ok , and if there’s an emergency she will be the first person you contact. Ignore everything else after that, and only call if their son wants to!
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Honestly all you can do is be supportive to your husband. Bio mom is probably just anxious regarding her child, which I think is normal. When child is there, just make everything fun and light, and remember never say anything mean about bio mom. Bio mom will learn that everything really is ok when child is at dads. Good luck being a step parent is probably the hardest job ever!!
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There must be a reason why a mother seems desperate to keep her eye on her child. You only have a one sided story and may never really know how life was for this mother with her/your now husband. She may have health problems all sorts of reasons. Only time will ease her anxiety and assure her she’s no ever going to be anything but the child’s real mum. Perhaps you could invite her to join you for a couple of hours so she can get to know you. She may feel like your trying to take her child away as what you have already called yourself step mom. I know I wouldn’t like it as it’s something the child decides to call you and not really a right to take on yourself.
If you have her arrested for harrassment the child will never forgive you for doing that to his mom.
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Maybe she doesn’t trust the father and his abilities to take care of their child. Eventually it will fade away, but as of now, I understand her.
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I was in this same situation as the ex wife. It is heartbreaking to see your child with another woman who will be a mother figure. You are terrified that she will try to take over from you. It takes a lot of patience & time for the ex to accept this situation because you are responsible for her most precious thing in the whole world. I decided that we needed to be civil for the sake of my daughter’s. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. In time it got easier & we get together at Birthdays & Christmas. My kids are now grown up but we all have a good relationship. So much better than being nasty.
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I think dad’s lawyer and mom’s lawyer need to talk to set up limits and boundaries on BM. The kid is unhappy. The mom is too wrapped up in her stuff to get that she’s causing this. And without someone other than dad setting those boundaries she is not going to respect them (or she would have already)
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Maybe you could have a face to face meeting with both you and your husband and BM. Explain how intrusive it is and how you only want what is best for her daughter. If she would feel bullied ask her to bring a friend or family member with her. Communication seems to be the big issue and you guys need to show her how many texts, emails, etc she sends when the child is in your care. She may not even realize how often she is doing this. Set rules and hopefully she agrees with them.
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I’d set a time of day that you’re husband and his child ate happy to speak to her maybe when little one is going to bed to say goodnight. She should not be disrupting the time your husband has with his child so if I were him I’d refuse to answer the phone until the set time
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That’s obsessive and possessive behaviour, she sounds mentally unwell. She’s need clear boundaries and to know she’s does not hold all the power of this dynamic due to her jealousy. Threaten a court order or avo if she does not stop the harassment. Jeez you would think she would enjoy the break and go out and have some fun with her freedom, sad for a control freak, just can’t let go
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All you can do is ignore. You’re not required to FaceTime from your fun activities. An evening update from dad with a bedtime FaceTime is appropriate since your stepson is quite young. Any emails or texts to you should be categorically ignored. You are trying to be nice but in this case being
nice enables her behavior.
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U guys time is your time. Tell her that the child will call when they are avaiable and to stop taking time away from u guys visit. Just don’t answer the phone or email… she will leave message if important.
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Mother needs to back off. It’s Dads time with his kid. If she persists on interfering on Dads time take her to court. Stop making it so easy for her to have the upper hand. She will eventually get it by not giving in to her so easily. Unless the child needs FaceTime go about your time and have fun.
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Switch your phones off during fun times and make it clear that she may FaceTime with the child a certain time before bedtime maybe to just say goodnight but the days belong to you as a new family to have family time cause u not trying to take her place you just want the best for her child
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Your husband is going to have to put her in check furthermore when the child is with you two unfortunately you’re going to have either ignore her and or turn your phone off. If she persists take it to court.
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Set limits. Ignore what is not a set time. Tell her you will ask the 5 year old when they want to talk to Mom. You will accomodate whenever they want to talk. If they do not request–you will send an email every other day. Any requests other than an emergency through a text will not be answered. She must be a control freak and cannot stand you having fun with them. Set your limits!!
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The bio mom is intruding In on court ordered visitation. Thus could be considered visitation interference. I would have your husband set specific boundaries during visitation. If the biomom co continues her behaviors involve his and her lawyers.
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I would tell her that only communication will be just before bedtime where child can facetime her to tell her about her day and be clear all other correspondence through out the day will be ignored unless its an emergency
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Yeah maybe it’s cause you referring to her child as the kid. My advice don’t knock a mother caring for her baby and good lord woman don’t put it on Facebook. Your wrong…
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Put yourself in her position, because it could happen to you- the two of you have a child, he leaves, remarries and voila YOUR child has a stepmother. Speaking from experience. It’s not fun
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First of all… Bless your heart for being so calm and collected. Because I may put hands on someone already😳
Big time boundaries have to be set.
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Easy! Just text busy right now! We will get
Back to you when we’re able! If that doesnt work be blunt and tell her she is intruding on your time.
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None of this should be handled by you. Let the child’s father handle it.
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The ex sounds psycho and the Dad needs to file for full custody.
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It’s her child , but his time with him.
He needs to send an email … we are going to the beach, park and trip to grandmas end of the week. I will have him call you at bed time 8:30pm each nite.
We love him and he will have a great time , and will be back with you soon relax enjoy your time!
Thank you for always taking such great care of him.
Mike and Donna
My husband and I had this issue for 13 years before he died. It was sad and miserable cost a lot in court. We took care of my step son, with our other two children all summer and alternate weekend and Wednesday night over night.
It was tough on all but you live thru it!
Smile your family came after this one it’s his responsibility! Not yours be kind to the kid it sucks to be him !
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Ya know what … the more ya fight it the worse it’ll get.
I am a stepmom and although I didn’t have to deal with this issue in particular. It’s his child with her after all. The more energy you give it… the more it will grow. Let him handle ‘his’ bm. He was in the relationship with her. It’s not about ‘her’ leaving’ y’all’ alone. She has their daughter 80% of the time, so she’s probably not used to being able to ‘let go’. You’re married so this is a permanent situation. It can get better. He may complain or seem to… but as for you… just let those moments pass and keep enjoying yourselves!
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I can say from experience the real mom is having separation anxiety with the child gone. I never harassed my ex back then, but the anxiety of not knowing was horrible. Hope this gives you some insight.
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I’ve always said I hate when the child is used as a weapon. No child should have to choose sides. Continue to back your husband but he also needs to let the X know your his wife and will be apart of their sons life. And that you will not be ask to leave the room when your face timing. Its your home. Yes she is jealous of you. She can’t control your husband anymore. So she’s using her child to control.you both now. If he has legal visitation rights and it continues he can always go back to court as a last resort. But you both can show who is the bigger person. Good luck ill just say this because it came to me. This too shall pass .
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Time to give her a time at night only between such n such time where son can do FaceTime with her. Stuff putting up with that. She needs to go have some mum time
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The child is young. I believe mom is concerned for her child. Help to ease her mind. Invite her over to see the interaction with her child. Assure her that you will care for her child the same as she does. You could invite her to join the family at the beach, once.
I realize not all ex’s can do this but if you can, it will ease her mind. If that doesn’t work, have dad explain to her that she is being “bothersome” and she will have to have a set time to call and speak to the child. You’re not required to do all that you and dad allow. Reasonable calls would be 2 to 3 times a week. Not daily and not more than once a day.
Yes, I have invited the ex to join us on occasion for the kids sake. We are not best friends by any means. She walked away from hubby and kids. Her kids needed her in their life. She walked away several times and even referred to HER children as her ex and MY children. Children are adults now but they know dad and I did not stop their mother from seeing them.
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He is probably leading her on behind your back but he is the one that had to shut it down for good
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You need a court order to design an appropriate plan for your time with the child. It’s not fair to the child to deny quality time with the father.
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It is a difficult situation and won’t be settled easily. You need to set boundaries that work for your family. I would suggest that you and your husband work out a time each day that your son rings his mother for a fixed period of time and that there is no other communication during the day except in an emergency. Also your husband doesn’t need to have long email communications with her. It doesn’t help anyone. I would suggest that he can talk to her maybe once before their son arrives, once a day while there and maybe once when he leaves, otherwise it is too intrusive.
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If politly asking just doesn’t work, I believe sometimes the best way to get a message across if they refuse to consider your side is to do what she is doing. If custody is court ordered, while the child is with her call constantly, email etc. Not for more than a week or 2 and the husband should be the one to do it, just to give her a taste of her own medicine.
Or ignore all calls and emails while the child is in his care. If a court custody order is in place. I say only, because if an order is not in place she could just not let the child go at all until you all take her to court for visitation etc. But she shouldn’t be that invasive unless a question of child safety is in play and that shoukd be temporary becsuse they either are and stop or they arent and they dont go.
Best of luck and God Bless!
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The reference as “The kid” made me think I would be the same way. This is a mama bear with her cub. She is having to intrust you with her child. I am sure it is frustrating but you all should communicate about the situation. Momma bear does not know you. There are too many stories about step parents endangering a child. Get to know each other so that trust is there. I have seen this same situation in my own family but once trust was established it calmed down. And for God sake don’t refer to their child as “the kid.”
The husband has to confront his ex wife and put it bluntly, that he will not be a part of massive texts and emails. Plan a FaceTime call after dinner each evening where she can see and speak with her child. Tell her other than that, he will ignore any other form of communication.
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It your husband’s time with the child, he needs to set the boundaries. Like times she can contact you guys. Or we will call you at this time and.no time in between unless the child asks. I would not acknowledge her calls. Or emails print them and save them for future reference if she starts problems with visitation… if you have things set through court you can always call the case worker ans ask what the best way to handle it is. Shes interrupting your time with him. Shes clearly jealous and cane let go.
If it’s not part of the custody agreement that she has to do these things such as facetime. I’d keep a detailed record and should you go to court bring it up as it’s interfering with your time with the child
Let your husband deal with this. This is their child. I am not trying to.be harsh. Just let him co parent with her. You just be the wonderful step mom you are. The child will grow up and it will get easier. Her child is away from her and she is still trying to be the mother so just let her. She is afraid she will be replaced and you know its not true but I just comes with being a mom. Have the dad call her in front of you and let her to talk to her child and you can hear what he says to her. Its gonna be ok.
When you are a step mom it is a package deal . You are better off being friends with the mom . And be glad she is calling and concerned. So many of these moms are what I call walk away moms and could care less about the child which really hurts the child . Tell her politely that you will have the child call before bed time . But it is better if your husband tells her no mom wants another woman setting rules for their child . Just remember it is better that she cares than not calling at all
Fix a time after dinner and before bed when they can face time and get your husband to start replying to her text only when it’s convenient for you the child is the most important person in this good luck
Depending on the rules in your state, she could get in trouble for interfering with your husband’s parenting time. Check with friend of the court or your favorite lawyer
Honestly, just don’t respond. Tell her if she needs to know anything you will let her know. If child is there for a while schedule regular phone calls to mom…limit the time allowed. She will get the idea. It’s dad’s time he needs to lay down the rules.
Husband should set boundaries while the child is with him. The child’s mother needs to be shown that she does not control the dad’s marriage. Take her to court to define the visits if need be.
Sounds like BM is afraid that her child may like being with you and his dad instead of her. Let your husband set the boundaries and you give input too. BM needs to get a man si she can have a break.
This is up to hubby to handle. He needs to set up a specific time for the child to talk to her mom & then ignore all the other calls & texts. Of course an emergency on either end would supersede the arranged time. And if the child wants to call the mom outside that time, it should be allowed. But not the other way around.
Bitter bm it want go away until she to separate you all. It’s sad some do not understand the importance of the connection a child can love both parents.
Its unreal how many people are automatically sticking up for this biological mother when I’ve seen pretty similar posts about biological fathers on here where everyone assumes hes the bad guy. Its really blowing my mind right now… wow.
Girl that BM is jealous and bitter! All you can do is stay out of and just document everything for your husband that would help with court of that time ever comes
Sounds to me that has to do with insecurity not trusting you. Around her child.
She’s very competitive towards you. Her child bring you into intoxicated negative ways. It’s seems she can do things better than you! I see jealousy! Always look on the bright side bring the child in a positive inviting atmosphere
No one should be knocking down someone else around the child. Someday that child gonna say to his or her mom. I wanna go live with dad
So sorry, nobody deserves to be treated this way! Your an awesome step mom. Do what’s best for the child positive needs!
Just be patient. Somethings just take time…dont say anything…cause words can be twisted to make it worse…smile and keep on doing a great job…sometimes being aware is enough!
Put the phones away when you are having fun. Give her a text that the kid is in bed after a great day. Just because people call text or email doesn’t mean you have to answer.
I became friends with my sons stepmom… we are still friends! (They divorced years ago) my son still calls her Mom and should. She was the co parent 
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Well as I see must be hard having Mom on your backs all the time but you and your husband are doin a great job co parenting and putting the child’s happiness first in long run its whats best for the child she need to come to terms with their break up she an ex for a reason he is remarried and moved on it about time she does for the child’s sake good luck in the future
I wouldn’t respond and let her know that the time you get to spend with the child is YOUR time and NOT hers. This isn’t healthy for the parent relationship with the Dad and HIS child. Stop letting her make decisions for the time that the child gets to spend with the Dad. She is controlling the situation and giving the child a unhealthy perception of the relationship that it has with the Dad.
Maybe have the child talk with the mom, like I’m am fine , I’m safe and having a great time! If something bothers me you will be the first to know if I am unsafe I will let you know , maybe?
Sorry for you but you are dealing with a wackadoodle. Your situation sounds eerily like mine used to be. The kids are grown now and the wackadoodle stole their childhood. She interrogated the kids each time they came home from our house. She interrupted our vacations by calling constantly, sending flowers, etc. You are not going to change her behavior but you can certainly love this child as your own. Never give up on the child no matter what. The rewards will come when he/she leaves her home and sees what a normal life is like. And he will gravitate to you two.
tell her she can face time her before bed so they can see each other pick atime or let the child pick a time that way her mother knows its her choice and ignore the emails
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Need to set firm boundaries and stick to them .make sure the BM knows exactly what they are. Nothing more intrusive on someone who is wanting to have quality time with their child. Her behaviour is insecure rude and disrespectful and you and your partner should definitely not buy into it any longer …
Simple… set scheduled days/times for this activity. Let her know, YOU, the current costodian, will only breach for EMERGENCY purposes only…
In this day of the cell phone. It is easier for the other parents to just call and then you feel guilty if you don’t answer or the conversation does not go well. If I am at the beach with a child I would “leave my phone at home” let it go to voice mail… I am a grandmother and do not have a cell phone. If I call and it goes to voice mail I know that they are probably having fun and the grandchild will call me later. Cell phones make you too accomadating.
Stop pandering to her hysterics I’m sure she’d soon get the message if you ignore her complaints. It’s harassment and it’s not fair to the child
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Have the court order that she communicate through “talking patents” only, which is monitored by the court. She’s on the border of harassment, which the court will see.
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Just tell her you will face time her every night B4 the kid goes to bed and ignore her messages during the day
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Block her number while the child is with you and only send a message or photo when it is convenient for you.
Keep her in the loop but at your descretion.
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I would set up a daily routine of when they will face time/ talk. Accommodate mom and make it a time when your step son can talk with mom alone so the child isn’t distracted. Let the mom know that she may call anytime but the set up time is preferred. Let her know if she does call while your busy you will get back to her when it’s a better time for her child to talk so that he isn’t distracted and she can have full attention. Sounds like you care and just want the best for birth mom, child and husband. It’s a hard one, but making clear boundaries and sticking with them will be healthy for all of you.
Be “gracious.” Just ignore her communications during your 20% time.
But, do check your visitation rights.
Make sure you comply.
Also, document everything, in case anything blows up in court, in future.
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Mom is jealous. Nothing you can do until she’s over it, if she ever will be. Just try and be patient otherwise the kids will suffer.
I know it’s hard to just sit back and have this behavior of the bio mom keep inerferring. I smell a bit of jealousy on bio mom side. And this is a way to let her self be known. In reality it should be left up to the guy to set the boundaries and stand up for you to. After all you are in the picture . I think the guy has to have the conversation in front of you with her so she doesn’t read any thing into it. I also feel you have the right to speak up as well. You are not invisible. During that conversation it should be stated that she respect the boundaries just the same as if the bio had a man. And the dad is respecting the bio mom’s man. Say we can choose to do the respectful thing and raise this child together as a team or we can get a attorney . And go for harassment, infringement on parenting / parental interference. Hopefully your man is a step up to the plate kinda guy.
I raised two kids from the ages 1 and 2 . The bio mom was a joke she had gave the kids away and hardly ever went out of her way to see them. The dad( my ex 26 yrs later)really wasn’t that stand up guy it left me to raise them .I was the one who handled everything . In my eyes step mom’s count and have a say. Both kids are grown with families of thier own .I am mom and grandma in everyway that counts . They are my kids. There is none of the step kids step parent thing. I am all they know. Even though I am no longer with their dad . We are very much a part of each other’s lives. So lace up those boots straps it won’t be easy . Stand your ground
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Maybe say to the mum that you will let the child face time when it’s lunch time when out. Or at dinner time so the child can tell the mum what he has been up to. But when out doing fun things won’t answer the phone to take the child away from having fun. As a mum she should be happy that her child is being loved and is happy
Pick a time.e when the child can have a 5 minute conversation with mom.make it clear that she only needs to make contact when necessary. Then do not reply to her contacts.
Why doesn’t your husband turn off his phone or just ignore her until a set time, maybe after dinner? He needs to stop catering to her. Simple as that.
Firmly state that the child is OK and this is husband’s family time with His child. And don’t respond to all of the texts and FaceTime but once a visit… She is trying to undermine stepmother to make you insecure.
It’s important to establish boundaries. This BM does not respect any. I would only respond to her when necessary, and by necessary I mean if the child wants to speak with his mom. There is no excuse for her behavior and it has absolutely nothing to do with the child. The BM uses the child as an excuse. It’s important that you and your husband stop responding to her, and stop reading the emails that she sends. It is quite obvious that she is miserable and she wants you guys to be miserable too !! #HerSay
Easy…just set specific times to be available…and stick to it!! This I’d disruptive for kids…
Parents have think of the children…less about themselves…I lived this I know…think of their needs 1st…
Turn the phone off during your fun activities, call her back when you all are done!!!
Start contacting her first. When you wake up and are eating breakfast FaceTime her by propping the phone up in front of the child. Do it again all day every day. Don’t give her time to ask. She’ll get tired of y’all interrupting her when she doesn’t have time to talk.
Also keep a journal so that there is no way you don’t know everything said or done and at what time and date.
Sounds like overkill but you’ll be glad you did.
She won’t have anything to complain about
Well tell the BM that there are boundaries and if you need to get a court order to have her give you some space so be it or if you have the child just for the weekend turn your phones off or don’t disturb go somewhere so you can have quality time with the child or just don’t answer the door either what is she going to do call the cops
Tell the mom that when child is with dad it’s dad’s time and she can talk to child at night just before bed to tell her about the day. That’s it period…
Dad needs to handle this. Facetime should only be her daughter. She has a right as a mom to check on her daughter at anytime.