My Husband's Family Have Never Accepted Me

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"Please post anonymously. My husband & I have been married for 30 years. He’s a great guy! The problem is his Mom & Sister really loved his high school sweetheart. His relationship with " Wanda" ended badly, when he caught her cheating. His Mom & Sister let me know before our wedding how much they loved her & how he should be marrying her. I thought in time they would accept me, but that didn’t happen. The last 30 years my relationship with them hasn’t been what I had hoped for, from them interfering in our marriage & also how our children were raised. Over the years they would keep my husband updated on “Wanda” & at one point his Mom suggested he give “Wanda” another chance. He has never acted interested in the updates, telling me he doesn’t know why they think he would be interested. He has had no contact with his ex in 35 years. So last night his sister text him to let him know “Wanda” passed away. He showed no emotion about it. His Mom & Sister plan on attending the funeral & think my husband should too. I know the days to come will be filled with them updating him on arrangements. I have no issue with him going, if that’s what he wants to do. But Wanda was married, they have a family together. I’m not sure how they would feel. I’ve ignored it for 30 years, but it’s kinda hard not to take it personally. Just keep ignoring it? What should I do?"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Ignore them don’t let them steal your joy"

"Good job for him not wanting to go. He chose you hunny."

"After 36 years my mil passed away without ever accepting me. Don’t let them steal your happiness."

"He married you, not Wanda. I wouldn’t let their obsession with her steal your joy."

"He is probably refusing to go because he chose you and he is continuing to choose you. If he still cared about her he probably would go… but it’s clear that he chose you and is still choosing you dear"

"They’re crazy. Her husband and children probably wouldn’t appreciate that either. I would be taken back to see an ex at my spouses wake."

"I probably would have cut them off years ago. If they can’t accept you then you don’t need to deal with them. And if he doesn’t care about going he should tell them why would he go when hasn’t seen her in 35 years, she has a family of her own and she cheated on him? They don’t even sound like they were together that long. Has he ever made it clear to them that he doesn’t care and has no interest in her and to stop bringing her up?"

"Sounds like your mil and sil have no life."

"I would have to tell them just knock it off and mind their own business"

"Wow so sorry your inlaws are so heartless. Ugh try to ignore them. It seems to me your husband doesn’t let it bother him either. Hugs."

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